A question about Web cams and relationships

6 Jul 2005

Hi everyone.
Ok this is a serious question which I hope will spark off a debate rather than a public flaming.
I have been in a long term relationship for almost 10 years. My partner is not sexually adventurous and I have come to accept this as being "my lot" in life, but I cant say that I havent been temted in the past to persue a physical relationship with another person.
I havent done this and I'm not sure what I would do if the opportunity arose, although I'd like to think that I could resist any advances.
I realise that some people are fortunate enough to find a significant other who share their views on sex and their sexuality in general and I have no moral issues with whatever they decide to do.
I have seen that there is a section in the "lets meet up" forum dedicated to web cams and its mostly guys asking to see/show with couples and females which I have to admit I do find appealing and I've often wondered if these ads have any success or if they are ignored by the SH masses.
I now find myself in the situation of having the house to myself for the next week or so and have the ideal opportuinty to place such an ad for myself.
My question is this....although I know thats it is morally wrong to do such a thing I cant deny that I would and do find the chance to play on cam very arousing. Is it really acceptable for me to place such an ad?
Is it considered cheating or is it a "safe" method of satisfying my most basic carnal desires.
As I said I would appreciate serious replies and am interested in finding out your views.

6 Jul 2005

Youlive by your ownprinciples and morals.
All we can help with is our own personal opinion/view/take on it, and what we may or may not be comfortable with.
You already know what it is you are or aren't going to do.
Sorry no real help.
Good luck all the same.

6 Jul 2005

well speaking as a person who will not play with anyone playing away as i do not agree with it at all i personally can see no harm at all in camming, to me its not different to a porn film but u watching someone live instead of pre recorded and they can watch u back i suppose, but i feel cam is harmless fun and if camming stops u or anyone else going out and doing the real thing then surly it has to be better?

6 Jul 2005

To me, watching someone on cam is only like watching porn.... you are not having actual contact with the person so it can't be cheating. Doubt your mrs would see it like that though confused

6 Jul 2005

Well first of all many thanks for not shooting me down in flames. I'm pleased that you can see that this was a serious question and not just masturbatory fodder.
I have to agree with naughty and blue that it would be like watching an inter active film and I wholeheartedly agree that my partner would not see it like that.
Once again many thanks and if anyone else has an opposing point of view please feel free to view them here.

6 Jul 2005

Nobody else have any views?

6 Jul 2005

Hi, this is only an opinion..but thats what you want. You have been in a relationship for 10 years and know how your partner feels regards these things I'm sure, I dont feel like it's just an interactive movie because it's live and all party's I assume will be seeking some sort of sexual satisfaction from the experience so I think it's a little more than that. Personally and I stress personally I feel there would be a betrayal of trust and that I know from experience can be very hurtfull to a loved one.
Please dont view this as a judgement I assure you it is not and I am in no position to judge anybody, it really is just an opinion. smile

6 Jul 2005

Dear bonnieandclyde
Thank you for your reply and I cant say that I disagree with you.
I to know the hurt of betrayal and thats why this isnt something that I do lightly or if I will
D

6 Jul 2005

And then ask yourself how you'd feel/react/respond if you discovered your partner was camming too.

6 Jul 2005

Quote by Libra+Love
And then ask yourself how you'd feel/react/respond if you discovered your partner was camming too.

personally it would not bother me but then i don't have the relationship where i have 2 ask for other peoples opinion on what i should do, if i want 2 do something i go to my hubby for advice, don't mean that in a nasty way but its hard to look at it from his point of view when its not a position i am in smile

6 Jul 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
And then ask yourself how you'd feel/react/respond if you discovered your partner was camming too.

personally it would not bother me but then i don't have the relationship where i have 2 ask for other peoples opinion on what i should do, if i want 2 do something i go to my hubby for advice, don't mean that in a nasty way but its hard to look at it from his point of view when its not a position i am in smile

Not you NN, dirtymochyn04. He's struggling, I'm dishing out a little wisdom wink

Or not

6 Jul 2005

Well
I dont know what kind of response i would get butthank you all once again for taking the time to air your views.
I am surprised that all of the replies have been from women and I'm pleased that they are..I think I was half expecting loads of guys telling me to go do it and all the women to tell me not to. Its interesting that all of the replies have been from women so far though.

6 Jul 2005

Quote by Libra+Love
And then ask yourself how you'd feel/react/respond if you discovered your partner was camming too.

personally it would not bother me but then i don't have the relationship where i have 2 ask for other peoples opinion on what i should do, if i want 2 do something i go to my hubby for advice, don't mean that in a nasty way but its hard to look at it from his point of view when its not a position i am in smile

Not you NN, dirtymochyn04. He's struggling, I'm dishing out a little wisdom wink

Or not

i knew u didn't mean me was just throwing my 10 pennath worth in lol

6 Jul 2005

Libra
YOur fortunate to have a husband that shares the same interest as you

6 Jul 2005

Quote by dirtymochyn04
Libra
YOur fortunate to have a husband that shares the same interest as you

Nope...two ex-husbands but no current one confused

I'm fortunate that I only answer to me.

6 Jul 2005

oops
my sincere apologise
I did indeed mean to mention nympho and not you Libra
D

6 Jul 2005

Quote by dirtymochyn04
oops
my sincere apologise
I did indeed mean to mention nympho and not you Libra
D

And the good new is.....
I'm running late, so best log off. Which means.....
I'm done dispensing wisdom wink

Tomorrow I'll be back to my evil self again
:twisted:

6 Jul 2005

Well I've done it
For better or worse I have placed an ad may god have mercy on me and my soul.
Many thanks to those who replied to my original post.
This may well turn out to be my one and only ad.
D

6 Jul 2005

I couldnt do it I had to take it down...
Ah well theres my answer right there..
Take care ya'll

6 Jul 2005

To me cheating would be vreaking a trust. If you know that your Partner would see thiis as you breaking her trust then it is cheating.
Like others have said it isn't a judgement on you in anyway shape or form just how my mind works about trust.
Have you thought about talking to her about it?

6 Jul 2005

There is a possible alternative. is a website where you can watch other peeps camming without them having to see you. It is very little like one 2 one camming but it might suffice.
Go to the un-monitored section, enter a name and go into room one. Watch the chat and you will be able to see who the fems are that are showing.
Hope this is of some help
matt

7 Jul 2005

I've kept an eye on this thread to see what the general consensus was and I have been surprised.
Thank you all for not flaming me and taking the post as it was intended as a serious question.

9 Jul 2005

There's lotsa talk about morals on here. I believe anyone using this site can easily be described in the wider world as having no morals: "morals" have always been so tightly tied to "religion" it's almost impossible to separate the two ideas.
I would use another description i.e. "principles": nothing to do do with religion, or any legal code. We all understand and stick to our own and others' "principles" in our behaviour and basically these principles can be described as "don't do anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them to do to you".
(Of course it doesn't work if what you really, really want is for somebody to stab you you up the arse with a red-hot spear!)

9 Jul 2005

I cam quite often but I don't think I'm in the same league as you guys.
To me its one big giggle seeing the mate you are talking to really laughing. I do use a couple of other sites and would never advertise to cam here. I use my cam to natter with mates, not to play, its just not my style dunno

I even show one of my friends my new clothes after I've been shopping rolleyes

The only comment I think I am able to make is that playingon cam mightbe seen as being unfaithful by a partner so it might be worth checking first :dunno:

9 Jul 2005

I use my web cam to see my friends and people off here, it was very useful at christmas time when I went away, I took it with me, and it was like people being in the other room, but in fact they were 7,000 miles away, very useful for long distance fun with a certain person.
I was a few months ago talk to a female off this site, she was showing me what she was wearing to a club, suddendly she vanished and up popped her husband naked and well ............
Never seen anything so funny.............
Great things

9 Jul 2005

Quote by JudyTV
I'm not sure about the moral issues regarding having a partner and not telling her if you cam or not. Its a good debate because there is a divide about the rights and wrongs of it, which I suppose in a way is healthy. Personally I don't see any harm in it and I suppose it is better than shagging behind her back.
Judy

Is it though? You're still entering into a sexual "realtionship" with someone - albeit not physically, like i said before if the other person has aboundry that they don't want their partner to cross, and you do cross that boundry then that surely would be classed as breaking a trust and being unfaithful?
Again it all comes back to communication and laying the ground rules with what you are both comfortable with.
Whilst I see no harm in camming and would imagine it as fun, similar to watching an interactive porn movie, I still think it could be classed as "unfaithful" in some relationships.
Anyway, wonder if the bloke managed t get a sexy lady to cam with?

9 Jul 2005

Quote by diogenes62
There's lotsa talk about morals on here. I believe anyone using this site can easily be described in the wider world as having no morals: "morals" have always been so tightly tied to "religion" it's almost impossible to separate the two ideas.
I would use another description i.e. "principles": nothing to do do with religion, or any legal code. We all understand and stick to our own and others' "principles" in our behaviour and basically these principles can be described as "don't do anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them to do to you".
(Of course it doesn't work if what you really, really want is for
somebody to stab you you up the arse with a red-hot spear!)

I personally use the word moral for the code of conduct that is laid upon us by religion and ethic for the code of conduct that comes from ourselves.
So I consider myself totally amoral though by following my own ethics I generally find myself more moral than those that swear by religious morality.
As for: "don't do anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them to do to you", it is the most concise way to resume the whole of Christianity.