Greetings to the Cafe patrons!
I thought I might pose a query to the lovely ladies out there, and so any answers - from anyone for that matter - would be greatly appreciated.
Here goes:
With Christmas fast approaching, the question of gifts for loved ones begins to rear its ugly head. Aside from the usual (perfume, gadgets, clothing), what in your opinion would be an appropriate gift for my lovely fiance?
A little background information will show the relevance here.
I have been "seeing" people for one offs and sex etc for my all my adult life. I am a naturally kinky, hedonistic person. My other half, however, is not. She's vanilla, and has the sex drive of a split pea.
I am in love with her and though I've still been trying to work my way into "proper" swinging, I now realise that more than anything else I want to be with her. BUT the purpose of this present is very specific...
I want to be able to get her something that will coax her into my way of thinking. I don't ever want to puch or pressure her into anything she doesn't want to do, but if I can get her thinking about sex as fun, then we're making progress... might even get to my ultimate goal of seeing her screw another guy someday.
So, in a nutshell: Sexy gift to get her into sex more. Ladies? What would YOU want?
thanks in anticipation,
Kind regards,
Teep. -x-
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A question for the Ladies (and anyone else with an opinion)
Well if you love her you'll be pretty honest with your desires etc, so may be an idea to speak to her intead of buy gifts to "coax" her into it.
As with all relationships communication is the key - why doesn't she like sex? Why doesn't she find sex fun? - if you don't know the answer then you need to speak to her and find out (obviously being as tactful as possible)! Obviosuly she could just have a low sex drive but the majority of people will do things they like quite often - so is this not a question of you need to ask her what SHE wants and likes not you trying to persaude her into your favourite things? Like you say once she starts to open up her "sexual boundries" may widen but conversly they may not!, and as long as you respect that you'll get along fine.
So in a nutshell, talk to your other half as frankly as possible, and above all be honest!!
As with all relationships communication is the key - why doesn't she like sex? Why doesn't she find sex fun? - if you don't know the answer then you need to speak to her and find out (obviously being as tactful as possible)! Obviosuly she could just have a low sex drive but the majority of people will do things they like quite often - so is this not a question of you need to ask her what SHE wants and likes not you trying to persaude her into your favourite things? Like you say once she starts to open up her "sexual boundries" may widen but conversly they may not!, and as long as you respect that you'll get along fine.
So in a nutshell, talk to your other half as frankly as possible, and above all be honest!!
:roll:Quote by EasyTeep
Greetings to the Cafe patrons!
I thought I might pose a query to the lovely ladies out there, and so any answers - from anyone for that matter - would be greatly appreciated.
Here goes:
With Christmas fast approaching, the question of gifts for loved ones begins to rear its ugly head. Aside from the usual (perfume, gadgets, clothing), what in your opinion would be an appropriate gift for my lovely fiance?
A little background information will show the relevance here.
I have been "seeing" people for one offs and sex etc for my all my adult life. I am a naturally kinky, hedonistic person. My other half, however, is not. She's vanilla, and has the sex drive of a split pea.
I am in love with her and though I've still been trying to work my way into "proper" swinging, I now realise that more than anything else I want to be with her. BUT the purpose of this present is very specific...
I want to be able to get her something that will coax her into my way of thinking. I don't ever want to puch or pressure her into anything she doesn't want to do, but if I can get her thinking about sex as fun, then we're making progress... might even get to my ultimate goal of seeing her screw another guy someday.
So, in a nutshell: Sexy gift to get her into sex more. Ladies? What would YOU want?
thanks in anticipation,
Kind regards,
Teep. -x-
So you want to buy her a Christmas Present, that is really something for yourself??? that she's not keen on but could be persuaded to like it cos it was a 'gift'? :shock:
Hmm....
@ Mischief: Pretty much, yeah.
@ Novice: Bless you dear, thanks.
@ AndyS: You're absolutely right, I did, and it is working to some extent - I just want to help the situation along... she's not as unreceptive as I make out, I guess...
@ lil_miz_naughty: See Misschief's post: she'd never RECEIVE that gift... it would be a keeper... ;) (oh, and LOVE that avatar ;))
@ Mischief: Pretty much, yeah.
@ Novice: Bless you dear, thanks.
@ AndyS: You're absolutely right, I did, and it is working to some extent - I just want to help the situation along... she's not as unreceptive as I make out, I guess...
@ lil_miz_naughty: See Misschief's post: she'd never RECEIVE that gift... it would be a keeper... ;) (oh, and LOVE that avatar ;))
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
So you want to buy her a Christmas Present, that is really something for yourself??? that she's not keen on but could be persuaded to like it cos it was a 'gift'? :shock:
does this mean that the steam iron I got mrs davej, so that she can get a sharper crease in my shirt sleeves should go back :shock:
Sex God
Quote by lil_miz_naughty_0204
Mr davej that isnt very bluddy nice now is it?
I'll get your wife a vibrator so she can increase her orgasms
:rascal:
ssshhh, lil miz...... she doesn't know about them .......I've managed to keep the fact that woman can orgasm secret up till know..
....davej can't work out if he has just slighted his own bedroom prowess with that remark :shock:
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:I don't think saying she has" the sex drive of a split pea" is really a good way of putting it first,i mean just because she doesn't have the same thoughts as you doesn't mean there's something wrong with her. Have you ever spoke to her about your fantasies,have you ever asked her about hers? the next time you are having sex with her tell her what turns you on and what you would like to see her some oils for a nice massage to give have to make her feel sexy,buying her things is not the answer just your say you have had casual sex,is this behind your partners back?she may suspect something and that maybe why things are flagging!
total honesty is the answer!
total honesty is the answer!
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
does this mean that the steam iron I got mrs davej, so that she can get a sharper crease in my shirt sleeves should go back :shock:
Dave, I would be more worried about Helga, the 20 year old Swedish Au pair that you got to go with the iron :shock:
that wasn't my fault......mrs davej can't hold me responsible for Comet's promotional offers!!
and at my age I would probably be worried about Helga as well, I can't be doing with fit young women..........nooo I like the older lady, vety heavy smoker, preferably within the confines of a three story house, that way at least the journey up the stairs starts them well on the way to breathlessness thereby allowing me to continue deluding myself that I am a great lover.
Sex God
Quote by lil_miz_naughty_0204
davej she might already have discovered them and she is having them supplied by a third party :grin:
she doesn't know where stevie wonder lives.
Did you ever think that perhaps she has the sex drive of a split pea because your just not doing it for her?Instead of thinking that you can buy your way to getting what you want why not explore what she desires ask her about HER fantasies and she may just surprise you!!
Have an evening just asking her what she wants and doing it,give her everything she asks for and you might awaken some desire in her as she's obviously not getting what she wants already.
Swinging on the other hand just isnt for everyone and takes something special for a couple to want to do it equally.
Have an evening just asking her what she wants and doing it,give her everything she asks for and you might awaken some desire in her as she's obviously not getting what she wants already.
Swinging on the other hand just isnt for everyone and takes something special for a couple to want to do it equally.
Quote by Flirty Fruitcake
ops: :oops: :oops:
I have to admit
:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
my current sexual partner is
:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
a split pea! :shock:
Well at least you have the opportunity to be economical as you can eat your partner at any time therefore saving vast amounts of money and peas are healthy for you as well. So in fact Flirty all in all in you have made a dam fine choice :shock:
:shock:
On the quick, here, before this becomes a Teep-bashing contest (
) I'd like to say a few things...
1: I am not now, nor have ever been a pushy asshole. I know nobody's said it, but if anyone thought it I'd like to clear that up.
2: Mrs Teep, bless her soul, has no sexual fantasies. She has no interest in sex whatsoever. Much in the same way I have no interest in ballet or jodeling. You following me so far?
3: The reason I have not left her as a result of (2) is that I happen to love her.
4: Whilst (in my view) trying to change the one you love is often a pointless effort, not to mention a little unkind, I would rather try and broaden her horizons so we can live a happy, fulfilling life than be an asshole and go behind her back. I view sex as fun. She views it (when she cares to ponder the matter) as an extension of a loving relationship. She sees no distinction between Sex and Making Love. I find that a perculiarly feminine view, but I am probably wrong on that.
Actually, fuck it.
Writing this out has left me confused. I don't know what I want to do, why, with whom...
All I know is that there is something wrong and I can't fix it. I don't want to leave her, but it seems we are incompatible sexually... it's not evan as if she's just vanilla... she's not icecream at all! What am I supposed to do? I have been with her for six years now, and it's like we're a 90 year old married couple! A Nookie Drought is in progress!
Aargh!
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
EasyTeep is, quite evidently, suffering interpersonal issues, babbling incoherently and generally being a baby. If this annoys you or you can see anything in the above post to moan about, feel free. If you happen to know any psychiatrists who don't charge, however, feel free to point them in my direction.
God I think I need counselling... or about 180 valium...
Sorry all.....writing is a form of therapy.... :(
On the quick, here, before this becomes a Teep-bashing contest (
) I'd like to say a few things...1: I am not now, nor have ever been a pushy asshole. I know nobody's said it, but if anyone thought it I'd like to clear that up.
2: Mrs Teep, bless her soul, has no sexual fantasies. She has no interest in sex whatsoever. Much in the same way I have no interest in ballet or jodeling. You following me so far?
3: The reason I have not left her as a result of (2) is that I happen to love her.
4: Whilst (in my view) trying to change the one you love is often a pointless effort, not to mention a little unkind, I would rather try and broaden her horizons so we can live a happy, fulfilling life than be an asshole and go behind her back. I view sex as fun. She views it (when she cares to ponder the matter) as an extension of a loving relationship. She sees no distinction between Sex and Making Love. I find that a perculiarly feminine view, but I am probably wrong on that.
Actually, fuck it.
Writing this out has left me confused. I don't know what I want to do, why, with whom...
All I know is that there is something wrong and I can't fix it. I don't want to leave her, but it seems we are incompatible sexually... it's not evan as if she's just vanilla... she's not icecream at all! What am I supposed to do? I have been with her for six years now, and it's like we're a 90 year old married couple! A Nookie Drought is in progress!
Aargh!
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
EasyTeep is, quite evidently, suffering interpersonal issues, babbling incoherently and generally being a baby. If this annoys you or you can see anything in the above post to moan about, feel free. If you happen to know any psychiatrists who don't charge, however, feel free to point them in my direction.
God I think I need counselling... or about 180 valium...
Sorry all.....writing is a form of therapy.... :(
Quote by EasyTeep
Greetings to the Cafe patrons!
I thought I might pose a query to the lovely ladies out there, and so any answers - from anyone for that matter - would be greatly appreciated.
Here goes:
With Christmas fast approaching, the question of gifts for loved ones begins to rear its ugly head. Aside from the usual (perfume, gadgets, clothing), what in your opinion would be an appropriate gift for my lovely fiance?
A little background information will show the relevance here.
I have been "seeing" people for one offs and sex etc for my all my adult life. I am a naturally kinky, hedonistic person. My other half, however, is not. She's vanilla, and has the sex drive of a split pea.
I am in love with her and though I've still been trying to work my way into "proper" swinging, I now realise that more than anything else I want to be with her. BUT the purpose of this present is very specific...
I want to be able to get her something that will coax her into my way of thinking. I don't ever want to puch or pressure her into anything she doesn't want to do, but if I can get her thinking about sex as fun, then we're making progress... might even get to my ultimate goal of seeing her screw another guy someday.
So, in a nutshell: Sexy gift to get her into sex more. Ladies? What would YOU want?
thanks in anticipation,
Kind regards,
Teep. -x-
If I were your financeé I know exactly what I'd want for Christmas, from you... a goodbye.
Sheesh
Quote by EasyTeep
:shock:
On the quick, here, before this becomes a Teep-bashing contest (
1: I am not now, nor have ever been a pushy asshole. I know nobody's said it, but if anyone thought it I'd like to clear that up.
2: Mrs Teep, bless her soul, has no sexual fantasies. She has no interest in sex whatsoever. Much in the same way I have no interest in ballet or jodeling. You following me so far?
3: The reason I have not left her as a result of (2) is that I happen to love her.
4: Whilst (in my view) trying to change the one you love is often a pointless effort, not to mention a little unkind, I would rather try and broaden her horizons so we can live a happy, fulfilling life than be an asshole and go behind her back. I view sex as fun. She views it (when she cares to ponder the matter) as an extension of a loving relationship. She sees no distinction between Sex and Making Love. I find that a perculiarly feminine view, but I am probably wrong on that.
Actually, fuck it.
Writing this out has left me confused. I don't know what I want to do, why, with whom...
All I know is that there is something wrong and I can't fix it. I don't want to leave her, but it seems we are incompatible sexually... it's not evan as if she's just vanilla... she's not icecream at all! What am I supposed to do? I have been with her for six years now, and it's like we're a 90 year old married couple! A Nookie Drought is in progress!
Aargh!
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
EasyTeep is, quite evidently, suffering interpersonal issues, babbling incoherently and generally being a baby. If this annoys you or you can see anything in the above post to moan about, feel free. If you happen to know any psychiatrists who don't charge, however, feel free to point them in my direction.
God I think I need counselling... or about 180 valium...
Sorry all.....writing is a form of therapy.... ;(
Teep, I can relate to all of that ....... gotta go to work now. But tonight will give you that same story from my angle - not saying she's the same, but might give you some understanding, or at least another view to look at this from.
