A question on gay/lesbian stuff.

9 Dec 2008

It is quite possible that J & I will be going to a same sex wedding next year. What I would like to know is do gay guys call each other husband? Likewise do lesbians call each other wife? And, in/at wedding the service or whatever does the registrar say "do you so & so take so & so to be your lawful wedded husband/wife" then say the same to the other?
I really am not being flippant, I'd like to know confused

9 Dec 2008

When a friend of mine had a gay wedding (or whatever you want to call it - can't remember they called theirs now) they wrote there own words for the service....
Mind you this was about 7 yrs ago now - no idea if things have changed or not..

9 Dec 2008

Quote by Lost
It is quite possible that J & I will be going to a same sex wedding next year. What I would like to know is do gay guys call each other husband? Likewise do lesbians call each other wife? And, in/at wedding the service or whatever does the registrar say "do you so & so take so & so to be your lawful wedded husband/wife" then say the same to the other?
I really am not being flippant, I'd like to know

The first thing I'd say is that everyone is different so just go with the flow and pick up on the terms people are using with each other. It's not really about what is said (take foot out of mouth!) but more about the intent behind it. There aren't any strict rules about Civil Partnerships because it's all relatively new.
But to give you some guidelines on the specific questions you asked:
Most gay blokes refer to their partners as "partner", "other half" (although I hate that term) and some (who are Civil Partnered) might say "husband" too. I'm sure there are lots of other expletives that might fit in here too, depending on how drunk they are and how good looking the best man etc is wink

Can't speak for definite about lesbians (someone help out here?) but I'd presume it's pretty much the same sort of format.
The service isn't a wedding, it's a Civil Partnership. Usually the registrar refers to them as "Civil Partners", but this will depend on the wording of the ceremony and the registrar performing the ceremony.
In comparison to a wedding, there's very little that must be said by law (which is "I understand that on signing this document we will be forming a civil partnership with each other").
Anything else added to the ceremony is a nice-to-have extra selected by the individuals concerned.
Hope this helps - I'm sure you'll have a whale of a time :thumbup:

9 Dec 2008

Because it is a civil partnership legally they are civil partners. That said most of the people that I know that have done 'it' refer to each other as husband or wife.. and those titles are interchangable with gender too. (just because 'we' can)
As for advice, I would get the gist from what others are saying, unless it is expletives. If you are in a position to 'have' to use a title before you know what they are using then stick with partner.
What I would say though is that gay/lesbian couples will just be bloody happy that you are there which I presume is much the same as with straight ones.
ENJOY !! :thumbup:
Btw, if worlass and I ever do it then she is the husband as she is soooo butch ( rotflmao

) I am so dead if she reads that.

9 Dec 2008

Quote by splendid_
Btw, if worlass and I ever do it then she is the husband as she is soooo butch ( ) I am so dead if she reads that.

What a load of fictitious tosh!!! - you were not saying that when i was in my basque and you had me bent over your sofa xx biggrin

9 Dec 2008

Quote by Worlass

Btw, if worlass and I ever do it then she is the husband as she is soooo butch ( ) I am so dead if she reads that.

What a load of fictitious tosh!!! - you were not saying that when i was in my basque and you had me bent over your sofa xx biggrin

for goodness sake, you can't talk about our sex life. We aren't even married. I will never get to wear white now. rolleyes

when you are in your basque I will say anything you want me to. wink

9 Dec 2008

Quote by Worlass

Btw, if worlass and I ever do it then she is the husband as she is soooo butch ( ) I am so dead if she reads that.

What a load of fictitious tosh!!! - you were not saying that when i was in my basque and you had me bent over your sofa xx biggrin

Now was that before or after she fell over?! :giggle:
bolt

I'm soooooooooooo dead! :twisted:

19 Dec 2008

Ive been to a couple of lesbian civil partnerships and a gay civil partnership.
They were all different one was in a church and they had there own special vows that they decided on together and there were a lot of people there.
Another was in a registary office and was a quiet affair with Standard vows.
The other was at a Nightclub and was more like a carnival.
Every relationship is different u may have a very straight acting guy marrying a camp guy. They would use different names for each other than say 2 camp guys. Formally they would always use partner.
Girls would be similar they would use partner formally. Best thing is if the situation arises just use partner. A lot of girls use missus or wife and guys would use hubby or husband e.t.c
Whatever happens everything is pretty similar to normal weddings family during the day quite formal then in the evening food and everyone generally gets drunk and dances to dodgy music. One of the weddings I went to had karaoke. People generaly sit in there own little groups and when they have had more drinks mingle a bit more.
just have a fun and don't ask too many questions.

21 Dec 2008

Quote by Evane
...Formally they would always use partner...

Only a minor point, but everyone is different so I don't think this statement is valid. Just pick up on what they call each other and go with the flow.

Quote by Evane
...just have a fun and don't ask too many questions....

Had to laugh when I saw this one - I don't think most gay/lesbian people mind anyone asking questions as long as it's not the tired old "who's the man in bed?" or "how can two women have real sex together?"
By the way, you mentioned that you went to one in church - just to clarify, a Civil Partnership cannot be held in church as it's legally defined as a non-religious ceremony (you can't play religious music or have religious quotes either). Civil Partnership couples having any sort of "do" in a church are simply having a blessing and will still need a civil registration as well for it to be legally recognised. wink

22 Dec 2008

How does a gay divorce work? I mean, if there's no woman involved, who gets the house and the car? Or if there's no man involved, who gets done for maintenance?
Cynic? Moi? ;)

23 Dec 2008

Th wedding in a church was b4 civil partnerships and it was a blessing. The couple still classed it as a wedding.
Every Gay couple uses Partner in a formal way so if they are tallking to a work colleague they would use partner for example, once they get to know someone better,they may feel more comfortable using something else. Lets just say that you were at a lesbian wedding and u overheard one of their friends relate to one of the couple as "bird" and then you used that yourself and u barely know the couple then it wouldn't go down too well.
Yeah when I said dont ask too many questions I meant the ones relating to there sexuality, Obviously "where are u going on your honeymoon" is a valid question.
Obviously the best thing to do would be to use common sense.

23 Dec 2008

Quote by Ice Pie
How does a gay divorce work? I mean, if there's no woman involved, who gets the house and the car? Or if there's no man involved, who gets done for maintenance?
Cynic? Moi? ;)

I have no idea but when I hurl my bouquet into the air next year make sure you're there to catch it Ice wink

And yes, what they said - don't be afraid to ask what's acceptable if you ain't sure. If they take offence then I wouldn't want to be sharing their day with them anyway as it's likely to be a high-drama, prissy queens (or queenesses!), up-yer-bum affair (and not in a good way).
The 3 I've been to have been wonderful and terms used have ranged from partner, other half, better half, big f**ka, and my little cup fungus :shock: :P

23 Dec 2008

Quote by R6_biker
I have no idea but when I hurl my bouquet into the air next year make sure you're there to catch it Ice

Is that a Gay euphemism? :twisted:

24 Dec 2008

Quote by Peanut
I have no idea but when I hurl my bouquet into the air next year make sure you're there to catch it Ice

Is that a Gay euphemism? :twisted:
LMAO - that made me giggle smile

24 Dec 2008

Quote by Worlass
you were not saying that when i was in my basque and you had me bent over your sofa xx

Oh my filthy mind has gone into overdrive :twisted:
Hello Worlass btw wave