A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles
while taking a bath.
"Mum" he asked, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet" she replied.
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A Short Joke
Orgasminator
And another
THE LOVE DRESS
A woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house.
She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch, totally naked.
Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
'What are you doing?' she asked.
'I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work.' The daughter-in-law answered.
But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed.
'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained.
'Love dress? But you're naked!'
'Justin loves me to wear this dress,' she explained.
'Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.
The mother-in-law left.
When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD,
and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home.
He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
'What are you doing?' he asked.
'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.
'Needs ironing, ' he said, 'What's for dinner?'.
THE LOVE DRESS
A woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house.
She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch, totally naked.
Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
'What are you doing?' she asked.
'I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work.' The daughter-in-law answered.
But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed.
'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained.
'Love dress? But you're naked!'
'Justin loves me to wear this dress,' she explained.
'Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.
The mother-in-law left.
When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD,
and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home.
He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
'What are you doing?' he asked.
'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.
'Needs ironing, ' he said, 'What's for dinner?'.
An elderly Irishman lay dying in his bed.
While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite cheese scones wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed.
Leaning against the wall he slowly made his way out of the bedroom and with even greater effort gripping the railing with both hands he crawled downstairs.
With laboured breath he leaned against the door frame gazing into the kitchen.
Were it not for death's agony he would have thought himself already in heaven for here spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were dozens of his favourite cheese scones. Was it heaven Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Irish wife of sixty years seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort he threw himself towards the table
landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted for he could almost taste the cheese scone before it was in his mouth seemingly bringing him back to life.
The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to the nearest scone at the edge of the table when his hand was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife!
"Fuck off" she said, they're for the funeral.
While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite cheese scones wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed.
Leaning against the wall he slowly made his way out of the bedroom and with even greater effort gripping the railing with both hands he crawled downstairs.
With laboured breath he leaned against the door frame gazing into the kitchen.
Were it not for death's agony he would have thought himself already in heaven for here spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were dozens of his favourite cheese scones. Was it heaven Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Irish wife of sixty years seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort he threw himself towards the table
landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted for he could almost taste the cheese scone before it was in his mouth seemingly bringing him back to life.
The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to the nearest scone at the edge of the table when his hand was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife!
"Fuck off" she said, they're for the funeral.
god visits a man and says if you want to get into heaven you will have to give up sex smoking and drinking il do my best says the man a week later god pops back to see how the man is doing not to bad says the man i aint smoked or drank but the other day the wife bent over the frezzer i couldnt resist i just had to fuck her up the arse oh says god they dont like that in heven no says the man they wernt to happy in tescos either ... 
:lol:
:lol: pikey wedding ends in a riot 20 arested when it get to court best man stands up please your honor let me explane its tradition for the best man to have 1st dance with the bride which i was doing when suddenly the groom runs up and kicks his bride straight in the fanny ohh says the judge that must of been sore . sore he says he broke 3 of my fucking fingers.. :lol:
:lol: Rocky the rooster was the biggest meanest rooster ever he spent his time beating the crap out all of the animals on the farm one day he picked on the farmyard cat unfortunatly the cat beat the crap out of him the moral of the story is ....no matter how big the cock is the pussy can always take it 
