A 'should we - shouldn't we' debate.

10 Feb 2005

Well if I got an email like that id email back and tell them to F$*k right off! Or if I had their phone number , id prfer to ring them and tell them to fuck right off. If they didnt put the phone down too quickly id then tell them not to be so up themselves and not to take the odd fuck so fucking seriously , and to seek counselling for their attitude problem , but mostly as long as I got the fuck right off comment in id be happy .
G

10 Feb 2005

:lol: What G said! :lol: :lol:
If someone is asking you to make their minds up for them, simply say "If you have doubts, don't do it."
lhk
Kat

10 Feb 2005

I think the most that should be said is that it didn't work out on that occasion, and this only if you are actually friends with the person asking. If a stranger asked just because they knew I had met someone I would tell them none of their business.
It is also a good point that one bad meet doesn't necessarily mean the person is not worth meeting, I personally find that first meetings are a bit hit and miss as there are so many possible issues until you get to know each other.
Roger the Dragon.

10 Feb 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
I do think that something along the lines of "verified" would be appropriate, ie turned up when invited and didnt bottle it would be acceptable.

So, what conclusions would you draw if you heard that someone had failed to turn up?
Good 'what if' there Ice :thumbup:

10 Feb 2005

Quote by Silk and Big G
Well if I got an email like that id email back and tell them to F$*k right off! Or if I had their phone number , id prfer to ring them and tell them to fuck right off. If they didnt put the phone down too quickly id then tell them not to be so up themselves and not to take the odd fuck so fucking seriously , and to seek counselling for their attitude problem , but mostly as long as I got the fuck right off comment in id be happy .
G

:grin: :grin:

10 Feb 2005

Quote by rogerthedragon
I think the most that should be said is that it didn't work out on that occasion,

What if.... you had given them the benefit of the doubt once or twice and now seriously beleived it wasn't an off day?

Quote by rogerthedragon
and this only if you are actually friends with the person asking. If a stranger asked just because they knew I had met someone I would tell them none of their business.

What if... you had never told anyone you had met the person and then someone asked you about them?

10 Feb 2005

Quote by PoloLady
Extracted from an email I recieved a few weeks ago.....
I asked and asked you what he was like and you beat around the bush avoiding the question and giving stupid vague answers. I guessed you were hinting he was good for a quickie or a brief encounter I didnâ€™t realise you meant a Brief! Effortless! Non-sensual! Inexperienced! Totally Orgasmless Fuck!

(This middle bit had far too much detail in)

Why couldnâ€™t you just tell it like it is instead of playing a fucking cryptic game? Itâ€™s a good job I didnâ€™t meet him with a partner they would have hit the roof at paying for a hotelroom for 15 minutes.
Thanks for the fucking useless advice Iâ€™ll do you the same favour one day!

You get the idea of what I had been asked.
So here is the debate.....
Should we let on what we know?
Should we say if someone is selfish and crap in bed? (yes, I know 'crap' is very subjective)
Should we warn people if someone is a complete nutter and a possible danger? (not that this one was)
Should we tell if we we know someone is not interested in the 'swinging schene' and using the site as a 'dail-a-shag' when they can't be bothered to go to a nightclub to pull?
Just for the record, here's a few choice quotes about me, hope they help anyone out there needing to make a choice...

Quote by Mid January 2005 someone
He is young and immature and crys all the time and was crap in bed hahahaha.

You lying, cheating, two faced, cretinous wanker}
The last one is one of my favourites and was rom a person that I had been telling since I met her that I wasn't ready for a relationship and was seeing other people.
Moral of the story, I guess, is don't look to me for manogamy...
Hope this helps.
Chris

10 Feb 2005

I just do it simple and easy.
Whatever i do, is my business. If i'm with someone, its our business.
I go for the discrete in a big way which means i don't ever see myself being put in that position in the first place. However, Pololady has found herself at the receiving end of a pm where someone has seen fit to use her name as a way of verifying the guy who was doing the shagging. (or have i picked that up all wrong?)
I personally would not give out any information about anyone if it was connected in a purely sexual manner. If there was a safety issue involved, then i would use the very same discretion to ward off someone, but state quite clearly throughout that it is a personal opinion and is from my own experience.
At the end of the day, its only by knowing someone, that you know them. There aren't any shortcuts. The person who sent the pm? Well, i'd tell them to fuck off too. wink

10 Feb 2005

Quote by PoloLady
I think the most that should be said is that it didn't work out on that occasion,

What if.... you had given them the benefit of the doubt once or twice and now seriously beleived it wasn't an off day?
In that case I wouldn't be meeting them again. lol

Seriously though unless their behavior was unacceptable I think the most that should be said is that things didn't work out - I know from personal experience I have people I seem to click with instantly and others who leave me completely cold, ask one and I'm a sex god, ask the other and I'm an impotent fool. (The truth is somewhere in the middle. wink

)

Quote by PoloLady
and this only if you are actually friends with the person asking. If a stranger asked just because they knew I had met someone I would tell them none of their business.

What if... you had never told anyone you had met the person and then someone asked you about them?
In this case it would be obvious that the person was trying to use me as a 'reference' and I would just say that I prefered to keep my swinging experiences private.
Roger.

10 Feb 2005

OK another "what if".....
What if you have a meet and the sex is crap, so you tell anyone and they tell 4 more people, etc etc. The aggrieved male (for the sake of argument) then goes out of his way to tell anyone who will listen that you were in fact the problem and not to get involved in any kind of meet with you, as you are the swinging kiss of death.
TBH if it was a close friend who asked I'd tell the full truth, warts and all. If it was a friend of a friend, I'd probably tell them to find out for themselves. If it was a danger issue, or the person made me feel uneasy I'd tell anyone who asked that they made me feel uncomfortable. If the person lied about anything major (race, height, build, name etc) I'd tell anyone.
It's up to the person who's asking to make an informed choice about whether they want to meet someone who I have my doubts about.
Do agree that the person who sent you the email does need some anger management therapy though. confused

It was a crap shag! If you're going to have lots of sex with lots of people, it's going to happen. Just put it down to experience and move on. Don't send ranty emails.
Rodger, does that make you an impotent god then? :? :P lol

:lol: :lol:

10 Feb 2005

Quote by little
... I personally would not give out any information about anyone if it was connected in a purely sexual manner. If there was a safety issue involved, then i would use the very same discretion to ward off someone, but state quite clearly throughout that it is a personal opinion and is from my own experience.

Is it really that clear cut - I feel another 'what if' coming on...
(puts on devil's advocate head)
What if something was really important to the person/persons asking (eg they ONLY ever met Vegetarians) and the person they were asking about wasn't a vegetarian (you had seen them consume a quarter pounder with cheese from McD's) but had told them "I am a very strict Vegetarian". This is neither a performance nor safety issue. How does this effect the situation?

10 Feb 2005

Quote by easy
Rodger, does that make you an impotent god then? :P :lol: :lol:

:rotflmao:
I'll let people make up their own mind as they get to know me. :gagged:
Actually this is a serious point - I personally wouldn't ask another persons opinion, it is too subjective. I would also take anything I was told with a pinch of salt - both good and bad.
Roger (No D. wink

)

10 Feb 2005

I agree with what has already been said - if the person was dangerous or a downright liar etc then it's right to warn others. But it's a little unfair to start giving "shag ratings" or anything like that.
Sometimes a persons sexual capabilities canseem low but I really do think it can depend on the partner they're with - after all it takes at least 2 to tango as they say.
There are always other circumstances to be taken into account and the fact is that some people just don't hit it off sexually.

10 Feb 2005

To cut a long story short ...my ex husband went out with a friend of mine that i had,nt seen for years, i thought poor cow you don,t know what you,re doing sad

then out of the blue she rang me to ask some personal questions about him ie: did he ever take money from my purse without asking mad

so i said yes, i felt so sorry that it had to come out this way so i explained that if she,d have asked me first i would have told her everything to put her off, but if i had have done at the time she might have thought it was just sour grapes and not believed me, she totally agreed with me and we started our friendship up again knowing that we had something in common and it made us a bit closer lol

. So i think if it,s a friend and in confidence maybe we should be honest..but evry situation is differant.

10 Feb 2005

Quote by Silk and Big G
Well if I got an email like that id email back and tell them to F$*k right off! Or if I had their phone number , id prfer to ring them and tell them to fuck right off. If they didnt put the phone down too quickly id then tell them not to be so up themselves and not to take the odd fuck so fucking seriously , and to seek counselling for their attitude problem , but mostly as long as I got the fuck right off comment in id be happy .
G

And if G told me to fuck off I`d fall down to my knees and thank the lord I`d gotten off so lightly, for I have seen his picture, and he is one scary looking mutha fucker :shock: :shock: :scared:
Venusxxx

10 Feb 2005

Quote by sexyann57
... but every situation is differant.

exactly - that's why I think it makes for such an interesting debate - there are so many 'what if's' to challenge any view.

10 Feb 2005

I had a boyfriend and we had great sex , a friend of mine asked me about him and i said fantastic etc , she then went on to tell me that he had been involved with a wife swop / 3some situation and that the wife involved said he was crap :doh: so maybe he just saved the best for me :haha: or i liked crap sex dunno

:giggle:

10 Feb 2005

Quote by PoloLady
Personally I agree.
But to play devilâ€™s advocate some more, let me start throwing some what ifâ€™s into the potâ€¦â€¦â€¦.
What if the guy the enquiry is about has told the enquirer that you had met him and to use you as a reference to their credibility? How does this effect the situation?

If someone gave you as a referee, then all you can do is give your opinion. I think you are entitled to be as honest as you want, since they have placed you in that position.
.

10 Feb 2005

Quote by PoloLady
What if you had found out through meeting a person that they had lied about themselves?
Nothing too serious - something like the guy that sent me a photo of his mate because he thought his mate had a better success rate than him, added 9 inch to his body hieght and changed race - lol (he was not from this site by the way).
If you think you would let on that they had lied - how big a lie would it need to be before you said something?

If the guy sent you someone elses pic, lied about his body height and race, then it would be obvious. If I was female and that heppened to me, I'd cut off their balls.

10 Feb 2005

Here are some of my thoughts...
If you have met a person or couple and arranged this privately â€“ then that is what it is â€“ private!
If this was not done privately â€“ well it is still your own experience and what â€˜floats your boatâ€™ may â€˜sinkâ€™ someone elseâ€™s or vice versa. Each to their own and life is just one big learning experience! Keep thy gob shut and let the other person/s decide if it works for them or not.
If someone decides to start telling people they have met me (without my consent) and telling people I can vouch for them or describing what we have done â€“ well they better have â€˜floated my boatâ€™ because I consider them fair game for an honest yet balanced and objective appraisal â€“ though not a public post.
If someone is stupid enough to ask me to tell people about them and give me an agenda of points to cover â€“ they are fair game for an honest and balanced assessment. Though the amount of detail would vary depending on how well I knew the person asking.
If someone is telling great big whopper pork-pies â€“ I would have to consider the circumstances and the possible outcomes.
If someone is telling great big whopper pork-pies to a close friend â€“ I would tell the close friend â€“ no doubt there.
If I truly believed a person was a potential danger â€“ I would have no doubts about explaining why I felt that way.
I believe sexual performance is both subjective and relative. I am sure I am not the only person who has a variety of friends they meet and each friend brings something 'different' to an experience.

10 Feb 2005

Quote by PoloLady
I believe sexual performance is both subjective and relative.

I just thought of an analogy for thisâ€¦. â€˜If sex was Sunday lunchâ€™
It is really nice to have the full works; crispy spuds, a succulent joint of meat, roast vegetables, smooth rich gravy.
However, there are some Sundays when I just havenâ€™t had the time to do the shopping, prepare, plan, I am too busy to cook, whatever. It gets to late afternoon and I fancy something, but nothing complicated. Just a little something quick and simple. All of a sudden the packet of Super Noodles (that has sat on the shelf for a couple of months) looks really good! It is no roast Sunday lunch, but at that moment in time it is just what is needed to hit the spot and leave me feeling satisfied. Would I plan to have Super Noodles the next week for Sunday lunch? Probably not! But even Super Noodles have a time and a place when they are satisfying.

10 Feb 2005

Quote by VenusnMars
Well if I got an email like that id email back and tell them to F$*k right off! Or if I had their phone number , id prfer to ring them and tell them to fuck right off. If they didnt put the phone down too quickly id then tell them not to be so up themselves and not to take the odd fuck so fucking seriously , and to seek counselling for their attitude problem , but mostly as long as I got the fuck right off comment in id be happy .
G

And if G told me to fuck off I`d fall down to my knees and thank the lord I`d gotten off so lightly, for I have seen his picture, and he is one scary looking mutha fucker :shock: :shock: :scared:
Venusxxx
Erm..........................thankyou ??? Im not scary at all , Silky will tell ya I cried at the end of E.T. ( what a waste of feckin money at blockbusters!)

10 Feb 2005

Quote by Silk and Big G
Erm..........................thankyou ??? Im not scary at all , Silky will tell ya I cried at the end of E.T. ( what a waste of feckin money at blockbusters!)

I believe you! Just please don`t hit me surprised

Venusxxx

10 Feb 2005

10 Feb 2005

Well if anyone needs a reference for my performance they can ask Pam.

10 Feb 2005

Oops...I meant Palm

10 Feb 2005

Quote by VenusnMars

Erm..........................thankyou ??? Im not scary at all , Silky will tell ya I cried at the end of E.T. ( what a waste of feckin money at blockbusters!)

I believe you! Just please don`t hit me surprised

Venusxxx
He's a pussy cat really!

10 Feb 2005

Yeah, all the well `ard looking ones normally are! lol

Venusxxx

10 Feb 2005

Quote by PoloLady

I believe sexual performance is both subjective and relative.

I just thought of an analogy for thisâ€¦. â€˜If sex was Sunday lunchâ€™
It is really nice to have the full works; crispy spuds, a succulent joint of meat, roast vegetables, smooth rich gravy.
However, there are some Sundays when I just havenâ€™t had the time to do the shopping, prepare, plan, I am too busy to cook, whatever. It gets to late afternoon and I fancy something, but nothing complicated. Just a little something quick and simple. All of a sudden the packet of Super Noodles (that has sat on the shelf for a couple of months) looks really good! It is no roast Sunday lunch, but at that moment in time it is just what is needed to hit the spot and leave me feeling satisfied. Would I plan to have Super Noodles the next week for Sunday lunch? Probably not! But even Super Noodles have a time and a place when they are satisfying.
shouldint it be called a sunday lunch munch

10 Feb 2005

Quote by PoloLady
Here are some of my thoughts...
If you have met a person or couple and arranged this privately â€“ then that is what it is â€“ private!
If this was not done privately â€“ well it is still your own experience and what â€˜floats your boatâ€™ may â€˜sinkâ€™ someone elseâ€™s or vice versa. Each to their own and life is just one big learning experience! Keep thy gob shut and let the other person/s decide if it works for them or not.
If someone decides to start telling people they have met me (without my consent) and telling people I can vouch for them or describing what we have done â€“ well they better have â€˜floated my boatâ€™ because I consider them fair game for an honest yet balanced and objective appraisal â€“ though not a public post.
If someone is stupid enough to ask me to tell people about them and give me an agenda of points to cover â€“ they are fair game for an honest and balanced assessment. Though the amount of detail would vary depending on how well I knew the person asking.

Too right.