A womens point of view

5 Jun 2006

Hi I would just like to get this off my chest me and a good female friend are sat side by side and after a bottle of vino we decided to have a bit of fun and to be honest all we could think of was to log on to SH confused

I (sheddy) have just used said lady friends account for a brief period (yes I know it warentees a ban but I had to see it from her point of view).
Quite frankly I was apauled with in 2 minutes of making my first forum post I received our (my) first PM to be honest it was unofensive and polite, but was offering a meet purely on the basis of my sex.
I wandered into the chat room for 5 minutes and was abused and acused of being a man purely on the basis that I had no profile pictures, though the account of the person I used did have pictures at one time but were removed due to the amount of one line PM's they recieved whilst on line.
My point is I've heard fems complain about the situation before but in all honesty you really have to see it with your own eyes to apriciate how rough a deal these ladies get.
Prehaps I'm too old fashioned in my ways or just plain naive but for the 10 mintues I was a woman I was disgusted by how some members of the site treat the opposite sex :?
I know I have carried out a banable offence and if you wish to do so I will not object but I genuinely needed to see it from this point of view to apriciate how much of a rough ride the ladies of SH have :?

5 Jun 2006

sheddy hun, contrary to popular opinion, we dont actually bitch and moan just for the sake of it. And we dont make this stuff up just to have a dig once a month wink

5 Jun 2006

Quote by Darkfire
sheddy hun, contrary to popular opinion, we dont actually bitch and moan just for the sake of it. And we dont make this stuff up just to have a dig once a month

In all honesty I knew it was an issue to be honest I never realised untill I saw it for my own eyes how disrespectfull some males can be and in all honesty it made me ashamed to be one of them confused

5 Jun 2006

I totally agree Darkfire. I often find myself saying to my cheekymonkey "I've got another 'fancy a f**k' PM" Being the polite person that I am, I merely respond with "Please read my profile!" and don't usually get harrassed by the same person more than once. It is annoying at times but I've now learned to let it go over the top of my head (that is unless I'm in rottweiller mode and then they get as good as they give lol

)
CA x

5 Jun 2006

I've seen it a bit too Mr Shedsworth, not sure what they think they'll achieve as they come across as stupid, desperate or juvenile.
/slight hyjack

Quote by sheddy
In all honesty I knew it was an issue to be honest I never realised untill I saw it for my own eyes how disrespectfull some males can be and in all honesty it made me ashamed to be one of them

Errr Sheddy, you're starting to sound like a cliched football manager. are you wearing a john motson sheepskin coat :shock: ? (at the end of the day it's a game of two halves, honestly wink

)
end hyjack/

6 Jun 2006

Quote by sheddy
... I never realised until I saw it for my own eyes how disrespectfull some males can be and in all honesty it made me ashamed to be one of them

Shedster I feel for you buddy! Last night I was with an FB on here & she showed me what she had to put up with... It's a real pisser
But what got my goat was the fact she had 800 unread emails!!! :eeek:
after that I didn't want to log on to my account - the last email I got was a wink from myself :giggle:
But seriously... I keep hearing that abuse needs to be reported to the ops but it does beggar as to how many peeps will be left on SH if they all got a ban
Not to mention the bloody minefield of what 'form' of abuse will constitute a ban!
what one female may consider flattery may be most unwelcome to another!
But no matter which way this goes it will still make me sick to the stomach as no doubt it will others

6 Jun 2006

Quote by CarrieAnn
It is annoying at times but I've now learned to let it go over the top of my head (that is unless I'm in rottweiller mode and then they get as good as they give )

the delete button is my friend biggrin

, i dont bother even responding with venom to them these days :twisted: :lol:
seriously though, I really havent had that many at all of late. I've been one-liner pm free for a while now :D so, me thinks the avatar works, my profile works, my sig works. That, or all the twats have gone on holiday! :lol:
I've had a few though that have been follow up messages upon recieving my automated wink response..... the problem with that is I usually feel terribly guilty if I dont respond, or at least say hi, thanks but no thanks, because they've gone to the effort of writing me a semi-decent message after already having the wink rejected.
:lol:

6 Jun 2006

Quote by meat2pleaseu
/slight hyjack

In all honesty I knew it was an issue to be honest I never realised untill I saw it for my own eyes how disrespectfull some males can be and in all honesty it made me ashamed to be one of them

Errr Sheddy, you're starting to sound like a cliched football manager. are you wearing a john motson sheepskin coat :shock: ? (at the end of the day it's a game of two halves, honestly wink

)
end hyjack/
lol

:lol: :lol: In all honesty if I'm honest and had to be honest about the situation I'd be the first to admit I'd used the word honest but to be honest I was that apauled by the situation If I used the words that were going through my head at the time of posting they would have been nothing but swear words :? but as I class my self as a gent (others may disagree) I felt the need to leave out the profanities and replace them with the word honest, honestly rotflmao

6 Jun 2006

Quote by meat2pleaseu
/slight hyjack

In all honesty I knew it was an issue to be honest I never realised untill I saw it for my own eyes how disrespectfull some males can be and in all honesty it made me ashamed to be one of them

Errr Sheddy, you're starting to sound like a cliched football manager. are you wearing a john motson sheepskin coat :shock: ? (at the end of the day it's a game of two halves, honestly wink

)
end hyjack/
lol

:lol: :lol: In all honesty if I'm honest and had to be honest about the situation I'd be the first to admit I'd used the word honest but to be honest I was that apauled by the situation If I used the words that were going through my head at the time of posting they would have been nothing but swear words :? but as I class my self as a gent (others may disagree) I felt the need to leave out the profanities and replace them with the word honest, honestly rotflmao

6 Jun 2006

The contents of your mind is a scarey thing to contemplate, honestly :eeek:
but sometimes it's a pity we can't do name and shame cos it would give me an excuse to resurrect my 'idiot skittles' thread (they line themselves up and we knock em down :thumbup: : )

6 Jun 2006

I just use the delete button
And take a deep breath

6 Jun 2006

I have said recently 'It's all a matter of respect' - or should be anyway. I have realised, since, that there's more to it than even that.
Sorry, feeling a bit twisted this morning. confused

6 Jun 2006

This is the reason my ad for single guys was taken off after 3 days and I don't go into chatrooms very much. I'm bombarded with whispers, usually from guys who just see a single fem and automatically assume they're after a guy or cpls. Some of them are polite when I say no thanks but others spout off such crap that I end up just leaving the room because I can't be arsed with it all again.
I had a reply from a 21 yr old to my ad ( which did state in caps only men over 35 rolleyes

) His message was just an 'I wanna f*ck you and you're gonna love it' type so he was none too impressed when I told him he had more chance of shagging the Pope! What followed from him was rather degrading and could have warranted a complaint to the powers that be. I just deleted it and put it down to him being a very young and inexperienced pillock.
For now, I'll stick to the forums where the guys are respectful ( even meaty at times, believe it or not :shock: ) and I don't get hassled.

6 Jun 2006

Here what I do... I'm probably TOTALLY wrong but it keeps my mailbox empty biggrin

1. All winks get deleted immediately. (if they cant think of anything better to say feck em lol)
2. All one liners get deleted immediately. (same as above)
3. Anybody wanting to meet after never having spoken to me before get ignored. (When i meet someone I want there to be some mutual attraction, I dont want it to be just a 'sac emptying!')
4. Anybody giving their phoned number out after never spoken or only spoken for a short period get ignored.
5. Anybody that directs me on cam gets ignored.
6. Anybody that can't take 'No' for an answer, whether it be as simple as "go on babe put your cam on" THEY STILL GET IGNORED!! (Because if they cant take no for an answer on something as simple as this, I dont want to test what they'd be like in a different situation)
Do I qualify for my 'rottweiler status' yet? :angel:

6 Jun 2006

Sheddy

you are a cutesy! I don't know what to ad to your post except - yeah I know it all so well lol! As darkfire said we don't moan for fun but there are lots of good guys too, I think you just develop a thick skin and a knack for sorting the men from the boys pretty sharpish.
Like other posts have said if you ban all the people that are abusive then SH would lose a lot of business. I think I find it more annoying that some men just fail to learn from their 'mistakes' on here, I'm just bored by their silly one-liners and constant winking!
biggrin

In edit: I am desperate to write a "Womans View" (my own) guide for men on SH regarding cock shots, one-liners, winks, being bossy, getting agressive, turning nasty, cam directing, not reading profiles and all the other little niggles that ad up to a big mess that gives the decent blokes a bad name!
However I think that a) I will get even more annoying PMs than usual and b) I will be the hated woman of SH! :silly:

6 Jun 2006

i have only seen the aforementioned behaviour in the chatrooms, the words on the title say no directing, thats ignored, females, whether single or in a couple, say no whispers please, thats ignored
if i, as a male dont like what im seeing, i cant even begin to imagine what its likefor the ladies of the site, this site is somewhere we can go to spend our time, and who wants to spend time somewhere thats not enjoyable
sadly, most of the moronic pillocks who are behind the behaviour, are unlikely to want to read the forums, so wont know the feelings behind this thread

6 Jun 2006

Ah Sheddy! kiss

Now go and put a skirt on and walk down the road or go to a club (dance not swing). You think that behaviour is confined to SH? Those same guys are the same guys whatever walk of life they're in. Bless 'em they really do think that we're missing out by not f**king them.
Now try walking back to your car on your own. And guys wonder why women are deffensive!
Thank goodness the old addage 'all men are the same' isn't true.
H.x

6 Jun 2006

Quote by H-x
Those same guys are the same guys whatever walk of life they're in. Bless 'em they really do think that we're missing out by not f**king them. Now try walking back to your car on your own. And guys wonder why women are deffensive!
Thank goodness the old addage 'all men are the same' isn't true.

:thumbup:
I used to say to my boyfriend that he should go to a gay mens club and feel what it's like to be a 'girl' - propositioned, leered at and sometimes even intimidated or scared.
But H is right - not all men are the same - you are living proof!
xxx

6 Jun 2006

Curvy -Gal, are you aware you can block Winks? Go into 'My Settings' on the right and about halfway down the page you can set a block on the winks.
No-one has to suffer abusive PM's. I appreciate that you don't want to report everyone so you cut them a little slack, but if they are really bad, please report them. If they do it to you, they may be also doing it to someone else who isn't as strong and they may be suffering from them.
I'm fully aware of the treatment the ladies of the Site receive from some people, but do we really want another negative thread running? It's the Summer, let's not denigrate the idiots, let's have a few more positive threads, eh?
Mal
wink

6 Jun 2006

Quote by curvy-gal
Here what I do... I'm probably TOTALLY wrong but it keeps my mailbox empty
1. All winks get deleted immediately. (if they cant think of anything better to say feck em lol)
2. All one liners get deleted immediately. (same as above)
3. Anybody wanting to meet after never having spoken to me before get ignored. (When i meet someone I want there to be some mutual attraction, I dont want it to be just a 'sac emptying!')
4. Anybody giving their phoned number out after never spoken or only spoken for a short period get ignored.
5. Anybody that directs me on cam gets ignored.
6. Anybody that can't take 'No' for an answer, whether it be as simple as "go on babe put your cam on" THEY STILL GET IGNORED!! (Because if they cant take no for an answer on something as simple as this, I dont want to test what they'd be like in a different situation)
Do I qualify for my 'rottweiler status' yet? :angel:

good one

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

6 Jun 2006

As a one time over eager fool. Now reformed. Yes, I was full of expectation, to much and wrong. It lasted three days. I now treat this site as the real world. It was not that I ever had contempt or disrespect for anyone. I just got carried away with the wrong idea. I went to fast, in the real world I never did.
My advise to everyone is, this is the real world. Everyone here has complex reasons for being here. It is not one dimension, quick sex.

6 Jun 2006

Quote by curvy-gal
Do I qualify for my 'rottweiler status' yet? :angel:

Oooo I have competition! lol

6 Jun 2006

Quote by Darkfire

Do I qualify for my 'rottweiler status' yet? :angel:

Oooo I have competition! lol

I'd be happy to 'play' the judge - purely official of course! :twisted:

6 Jun 2006

Quote by sheddy
Quite frankly I was apauled with in 2 minutes of making my first forum post I received our (my) first PM to be honest it was unofensive and polite, but was offering a meet purely on the basis of my sex.
I wandered into the chat room for 5 minutes and was abused and acused of being a man purely on the basis that I had no profile pictures, though the account of the person I used did have pictures at one time but were removed due to the amount of one line PM's they recieved whilst on line.
My point is I've heard fems complain about the situation before but in all honesty you really have to see it with your own eyes to apriciate how rough a deal these ladies get.
Prehaps I'm too old fashioned in my ways or just plain naive but for the 10 mintues I was a woman I was disgusted by how some members of the site treat the opposite sex
:?

Sheddy you know that I love you... I tell you often enuff.... but don't worry- all blokes aren't like that.
Women are also sometimes offensive... I have been verbally abused by PM cos I wasn't willing to 1. commit to sex with out an initial meet 2. allow husband to watch if and when had sex 3. allow pictures to be taken. :doh:
It does seem that there are an awful lot of numptys on here. but then again there are a lot of people that think that the swinging community is about prostitution without the money.
I also get a whole other barrage of crap- esp in the chatrooms. as people make lovely comments like "are you really a rug muncher/lemon/ etc etc?".. and also insults disguised as compliments... "you are quite good looking for a lezzer" to lovely suggestions like " you won't know I am a bloke when I am licking your clit and you have your eyes shut"

:banghead:
It has led to me only going on cam in the room you run with kate. I don't feel safe anywhere else. I know that the ops are great... but I dn't know how to find them quickly and I can't be bothered copying and pasting the comments all the time. flipa

anyway my point is that not all blokes are like that and I have made some good friends on here and I wouldn't like you to feel bad about others idiocy.
Love and hugs :therethere:

6 Jun 2006

Quote by splendid33
I also get a whole other barrage of crap- esp in the chatrooms. as people make lovely comments like "are you really a rug muncher/lemon/ etc etc?".. and also insults disguised as compliments... "you are quite good looking for a lezzer" to lovely suggestions like " you won't know I am a bloke when I am licking your clit and you have your eyes shut" :banghead:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
It's not just me that gets asked lovely questions like that then? How about "You haven't been with the right guy." or "I can change your mind, just give me a chance." to which I reply I have a big burly gay male friend - he want to knows if he convert you and make you gay if you can make me straight? :twisted: If they still persist I start to tell them what my friend would like to do to them and they soon 'bugger' off!!

6 Jun 2006

I'm seriously considering changing my profile.... as what is there already still doesn't get the message across to some people...
equi-princess xxx

6 Jun 2006

sheddy, one of the masquerade balls completely opened my eyes.
i registered as well_busty_baby, and before i'd even made a post, within 5 minutes of activating and showing in the who's-logged-in list, i had 3 pms from blokes who i certainly didn't know from adam, and i guarantee you they didn't know me, cos they might have been a bit more reticent with the come one's if they'd known i was, in fact, a bloke! lol

i tried to tell one of 'em things weren't as they seemed, and he still kept coming! oh well! :doh: rotflmao

neil x x x ;)

6 Jun 2006

Quote by CarrieAnn
I totally agree Darkfire. I often find myself saying to my cheekymonkey "I've got another 'fancy a f**k' PM" Being the polite person that I am, I merely respond with "Please read my profile!" and don't usually get harrassed by the same person more than once. It is annoying at times but I've now learned to let it go over the top of my head (that is unless I'm in rottweiller mode and then they get as good as they give )
CA x

:lol: Sounds a lot like the way I am with them too CA!
Fee
XX

6 Jun 2006

Quote by neilinleeds
sheddy, one of the masquerade balls completely opened my eyes.
i registered as well_busty_baby, and before i'd even made a post, within 5 minutes of activating and showing in the who's-logged-in list, i had 3 pms from blokes who i certainly didn't know from adam, and i guarantee you they didn't know me, cos they might have been a bit more reticent with the come one's if they'd known i was, in fact, a bloke!
i tried to tell one of 'em things weren't as they seemed, and he still kept coming! oh well! :doh:
neil x x x ;)

So you do know Adam then :lol:
I had a lot of blokes sending me PM's a while back thinking I was a nurse of the female type. They were soooooo dis appointed. :lol2: Changed my profile since then.
Dont get anything anymore = Awwwwwww unless it's Fabio with his Sanatogen. wink

Phredd

6 Jun 2006

Quote by neilinleeds
i registered as well_busty_baby, and before i'd even made a post, within 5 minutes of activating and showing in the who's-logged-in list, i had 3 pms from blokes who i certainly didn't know from adam, and i guarantee you they didn't know me, cos they might have been a bit more reticent with the come one's if they'd known i was, in fact, a bloke!
neil x x x ;)

welcome to the world of the single fem hunni. Very brave of you too :shock: kiss