I would make my wine bottle grow legs so it would come to me magically.
I would also cease all body hair growth on my body .... not stopping at the eyebrows Fire.
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Absolute Power
Quote by LondonPlaythingBaldy!
I would make my wine bottle grow legs so it would come to me magically.
I would also cease all body hair growth on my body .... not stopping at the eyebrows Fire.
lp
Oi !!! Thats not what I meant. I shall still retain my tresses but all other hair must go (oh and I guess I will keep my eyebrows but no mure growth outta them buggers)
and and and....
and then there are the times on a platform, not shoe, but railway station, tube type platform... it's fairly quiet.. not too crowded... and someone like me tends to move along to the even less crowded area...
>don't even get me started on the people that crowd around the entry to the platform, blocking the way..milling about... ahem<...
... so there I am... music playing quietly in the lugs, condusive to travel... you know the score, Ramstien, Motorhead, Nirvana and the likes.. when you spot that person.... that person...
you hope for the best, pray it won't happen...but know in your pit that it will....
yup... here they come... mooching along all innocent looking ... nah... they don't fool me... I'm feeling braver today... I'm pre-armed with Stormies stick, and the big boots are tucked away in the bag... I'm ready for 'em... lets just wait and see....
yup...there they go.... sidle right up to you... stand right there... so close they could almost be inviting you partake in anal sex in a public space!!!
why?
Acres of platform twixt me, and the rest of humanity huddled around the entrance/exit!
I fear they may be another of that breed of Tube-Nutter... you know the sort... possibly harmless... a little smirk... a hello perhaps... but the smirk could become a twitch... and then they're attempting to throw me on the lines!
Or worse still... the actually intended to throw me onto the lines from the moment they saw me!...
In a flash now I know I can spring BigBoots and apply the stick as I see fit...
but; what I was intending to ask these mighty power providers in the context of this thread was... can I have my fellow tide of humanity in comuting situations spread and open as a sea before Cnut?
I believe that was the spelling
lp
and then there are the times on a platform, not shoe, but railway station, tube type platform... it's fairly quiet.. not too crowded... and someone like me tends to move along to the even less crowded area...
>don't even get me started on the people that crowd around the entry to the platform, blocking the way..milling about... ahem<...
... so there I am... music playing quietly in the lugs, condusive to travel... you know the score, Ramstien, Motorhead, Nirvana and the likes.. when you spot that person.... that person...
you hope for the best, pray it won't happen...but know in your pit that it will....
yup... here they come... mooching along all innocent looking ... nah... they don't fool me... I'm feeling braver today... I'm pre-armed with Stormies stick, and the big boots are tucked away in the bag... I'm ready for 'em... lets just wait and see....
yup...there they go.... sidle right up to you... stand right there... so close they could almost be inviting you partake in anal sex in a public space!!!
why?
Acres of platform twixt me, and the rest of humanity huddled around the entrance/exit!
I fear they may be another of that breed of Tube-Nutter... you know the sort... possibly harmless... a little smirk... a hello perhaps... but the smirk could become a twitch... and then they're attempting to throw me on the lines!
Or worse still... the actually intended to throw me onto the lines from the moment they saw me!...
In a flash now I know I can spring BigBoots and apply the stick as I see fit...
but; what I was intending to ask these mighty power providers in the context of this thread was... can I have my fellow tide of humanity in comuting situations spread and open as a sea before Cnut?
I believe that was the spelling
lp
Quote by splendid_
I would make the phlegm that people spit out onto the ground in public places fly back and hit them in the face.
I just love that idea.... that is what I want too
splendid
it is a good'un.... but it must also retreat down the said offenders throat realy slowly... and it must have cooled too...
lp
Quote by LondonPlaything
I would make the phlegm that people spit out onto the ground in public places fly back and hit them in the face.
I just love that idea.... that is what I want too
splendid
it is a good'un.... but it must also retreat down the said offenders throat realy slowly... and it must have cooled too...
lp
I thought you were a masochist.. not a sadist??? sicko ! :shock:
splendid
Quote by Stormwalker
Imagine you are given absolute power to change one small minor thing, not poverty, world peace, war or famine, but something small and insignificant, something that annoys you, but few other people. What would you change and why?
People who profess to be expert's yet seem to think they can make a formal diagnosis with just a one hour conversation :doh:
I would make them take my place for a week and see if they still have the same opinion then... Bet they wouldn't be so quick to judge then
Quote by louise_and_joe
I'd like to find something to make me feel better right now
You sexy thing. Is that map of wales ready yet?Louise xx
Anytime you're ready hunni
Quote by Dawnie
I'd like to find something to make me feel better right now :(
OK for one night only Sassy, I'll let you ravish me
:giggle:
I now have that in writing and witnesses!! :twisted:
I can't believe no-one mentioned chewing gum. I have no problem with it being purchased & chewed but please dispose of it properly.
I suppose it does make the council clean the pavements properly occasionally and pubs buy new carpets & force me to buy new clothes when it transfers to me from public furniture - but it cheeses me off!
Silly boots & beating with a sh***y stick as punishment for offenders?
I suppose it does make the council clean the pavements properly occasionally and pubs buy new carpets & force me to buy new clothes when it transfers to me from public furniture - but it cheeses me off!
Silly boots & beating with a sh***y stick as punishment for offenders?
Quote by flower411
Have you ever tried stopping just before they get to you ??
Most of the time it confuses the shit out of them and they go round !!
I like youre thinking Flower...
I'm just about to leave the house with a rucksack on my back... so I'll have a certain inertia, and bulk as I travel... I shall attempt the stopping-thing on my journey... ta very much...
however... the blame for any consequent bruising as a result of pavement/public transport fracas will be placed firmly at your feet!
lp
i'd make it so food doesnt go off before i get time to use it and end up wasting it
i'd make it impossible to write with a pen without a lid on the non nib end (i just simply cant)
i'd make it impossible for drawers to get untidy
i'd make it impossible for the budgie to drop feathers all over the fookin floor
and i'd make the ignorant nasty bastards from next door disappear
i'd make it impossible to write with a pen without a lid on the non nib end (i just simply cant)
i'd make it impossible for drawers to get untidy
i'd make it impossible for the budgie to drop feathers all over the fookin floor
and i'd make the ignorant nasty bastards from next door disappear
Sex God
I would give anything to understand and sing Opera.
