Aww Kaz im very sorry to hear about what happened to you
xxxxxx better
I do hope all you feel afterwards is anger towards the idiot and it does not upset you in the future
Unfortunatly not all people are nice and accept a polite no thanks
It was good to hear you was rescued from the situation and great to see you are coping well with it
Bi-Guy-Notts
naming and shaming mmm tricky 1 that
i think i would sooner know who it was because all he will do is go to another site and start again and most will not know about his past
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Abuse
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Kaz
Looks like it's all been said already but it sounds like you dealt with the situation amazingly well, i take my proverbial hat off to you and sir lee for your restraint as i may have been inclined to take more physical action with him, and believe me that is not how i behave but these arrogant guys really piss me off big style
....thank god they're few and far between around here. Great to see people coming to your aid though, i'd expect nothing less from the folks on here.... well done you guys :thumbup:
Not had the chance to meet you yet as you avoided me at the last Yorkshire Munch
, but be ready for a large hug when I catch up with you eventually 
Take care
J
Looks like it's all been said already but it sounds like you dealt with the situation amazingly well, i take my proverbial hat off to you and sir lee for your restraint as i may have been inclined to take more physical action with him, and believe me that is not how i behave but these arrogant guys really piss me off big style
....thank god they're few and far between around here. Great to see people coming to your aid though, i'd expect nothing less from the folks on here.... well done you guys :thumbup: Not had the chance to meet you yet as you avoided me at the last Yorkshire Munch
, but be ready for a large hug when I catch up with you eventually Take care
J
Sex God
I have sent ya a pm hun, I know you were very uncomfortable around a certain person earlier in the evening, which is why i came over.....
Anyway I hope it hasn't ruined your experience of what was a bloody good evening....
thinking of you...
sean xxxxxxxxxxxx
Anyway I hope it hasn't ruined your experience of what was a bloody good evening....
thinking of you...
sean xxxxxxxxxxxx
Warming the Bed
Oh NO, not Kaz............Sorry to hear about this, and I hope your feeling better soon.hugs n kisses
Sex God
Quote by Sgt Bilko
I think they should be named and shamed
No naming and shaming on this site!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
Action has been taken and this person will not be attending any future functions or taking part in any area of this site.
That's all I want to hear - good enough for me.
As some of you are probably aware I was 'sexually abused' last night. (I have posted separately from the thanks thread as not to put a dampener on it)
Kaz, It might be rare but it should never happen under any circumstances..... it's totally unacceptable and whilst your restraint is commendable I only hope he has been dealt with appropriately. I feel other women have the right to know so they can be wary and keep away - I would name and shame.
You appear strong and be coping with it well on one level but it reminds us all of a sense of vulnerability and the need to look out for each other. Take care and accept comfort from freinds - it's still a shock, Ben
Kaz, It might be rare but it should never happen under any circumstances..... it's totally unacceptable and whilst your restraint is commendable I only hope he has been dealt with appropriately. I feel other women have the right to know so they can be wary and keep away - I would name and shame.
You appear strong and be coping with it well on one level but it reminds us all of a sense of vulnerability and the need to look out for each other. Take care and accept comfort from freinds - it's still a shock, Ben
I don't know you at all Kaz but I do want to add to all the above that I do feel for you and I am just really angry that this thing has happened..men like that deserve some serious punishment.
I do appreciate that there is a policy of not naming and shaming on this site but, like others have said, I am concerned that this person could turn up elsewhere (I am sure many people here visit other sites) and do the same thing (or worse)again, maybe at a time when people aren't around to help...this is something that bothers me a lot.
I do appreciate that there is a policy of not naming and shaming on this site but, like others have said, I am concerned that this person could turn up elsewhere (I am sure many people here visit other sites) and do the same thing (or worse)again, maybe at a time when people aren't around to help...this is something that bothers me a lot.
:x :x Sometimes I am ashamed to be male. I am so sorry Kas that this has happend to you this is a message to all the males here guys no means no not maybe if you get me drunk enough it just means no period. I have a few girls in my life who have been mistreated and listening to them when they cry their eyes out hurts like hell I will probably be banned for this next bit but here goes if I was there I would have castrated him but that is just me. no one has the right to do that sort of action and no one should have to put up with that sort of behaviour, again I am so very sorry. 
Orgasminator
I don't know you at all Kaz but I do want to add to all the above that I do feel for you and I am just really angry that this thing has happened..men like that deserve some serious punishment.
Our sincere sympathies to Kazswallows!
I'm totally with Amalthea on this one - Although naming/shaming might be ineffective in some senses ( i.e. the guy can change his ID, register with other sites and unless, he's actually spotted by someone who knows him, try it on again), it would certainly allow anyone here who's in the process of arranging to meet him on, say, a 1-2-1 basis to review that decision. If he was 'bold' enough to try it on in a group situation what might he do in anotherset of circumstances??
I'm sure there are understandable reasons for the no public naming/shaming policy but wouldn't it be possible for individuals to find out who is discreetly? After all, some people here already know who he is and haven't published his name - no doubt they'll be privately passing on that name though to their SH buddies but that still leaves everyone else in the dark. I'd hate to think he tries this or (God forbid) worse on with another victim when that could have been avoided if that person had been warned.
In time, regulars here who don't know who he is may notice that someone isn't here any more and come to a certain conclusion. That may or may not be accurate of course and could lead to an innocent person being assumed to be guilty or vice versa.
As relative newcommers here, though, this is something that certainly worries us and will affect our future behaviour but in the absence of the detail how can we protect ourselves?
Our sincere sympathies to Kazswallows!
I'm totally with Amalthea on this one - Although naming/shaming might be ineffective in some senses ( i.e. the guy can change his ID, register with other sites and unless, he's actually spotted by someone who knows him, try it on again), it would certainly allow anyone here who's in the process of arranging to meet him on, say, a 1-2-1 basis to review that decision. If he was 'bold' enough to try it on in a group situation what might he do in anotherset of circumstances??
I'm sure there are understandable reasons for the no public naming/shaming policy but wouldn't it be possible for individuals to find out who is discreetly? After all, some people here already know who he is and haven't published his name - no doubt they'll be privately passing on that name though to their SH buddies but that still leaves everyone else in the dark. I'd hate to think he tries this or (God forbid) worse on with another victim when that could have been avoided if that person had been warned.
In time, regulars here who don't know who he is may notice that someone isn't here any more and come to a certain conclusion. That may or may not be accurate of course and could lead to an innocent person being assumed to be guilty or vice versa.
As relative newcommers here, though, this is something that certainly worries us and will affect our future behaviour but in the absence of the detail how can we protect ourselves?
THANKYOU 
The community stuck by me on Saturday night and judging by the posts and pm's you are supporting me again. There isn't words to describe the appreciation that myself and SirLee feel to you all except
'THANKYOU
I hope newer or less confident members feel reassured that although this wasn't a 'pleasant' experience that this was an isolated incident and whether or not the people that attended the party knew me or not, every last one of them will be there to do their dambdest to stop this kind of thing happening. If it does they are there to put a stop to it.
Some of you either on here or by pm have said that no male should ever do that to a woman, it could have just as easily of being a woman doing the 'abuse' and that is equally wrong.
A lot of you have brought up the 'naming and shaming' policy and I an understand where you are coming from. Can I just reassure you that the other 'free' sites have been informed and action has/is being taken.
Unfortunately unless someone can give an ip address to other sites there is no way of knowing whether or not or not the person is registered under a differant name. There's no way for you to know who they are either, unless you know the person concerned
Sgt has said there is a no 'naming and shaming' policy on this site and he will know from the other mods that it was never my intention to do that, but thanks Sgt for re-iterating it.
Of course I have the usual questions going through my head "did I encourage it", "did the fact I was sexily dressed say to him, this woman is asking for it", "did I give out the wrong signals by my behaviour". "I'm a swinger at a party, am I saying that I am fair game"? I equally know that the answer to these questions whether I was male or female is a resounding NO. No means no whatever the circumstances. It doesnt stop you worrying about it and feeling guilty.
Anyway Thankyou once again and I will reply to the pm's today
kaz
The community stuck by me on Saturday night and judging by the posts and pm's you are supporting me again. There isn't words to describe the appreciation that myself and SirLee feel to you all except
'THANKYOU
I hope newer or less confident members feel reassured that although this wasn't a 'pleasant' experience that this was an isolated incident and whether or not the people that attended the party knew me or not, every last one of them will be there to do their dambdest to stop this kind of thing happening. If it does they are there to put a stop to it.
Some of you either on here or by pm have said that no male should ever do that to a woman, it could have just as easily of being a woman doing the 'abuse' and that is equally wrong.
A lot of you have brought up the 'naming and shaming' policy and I an understand where you are coming from. Can I just reassure you that the other 'free' sites have been informed and action has/is being taken.
Unfortunately unless someone can give an ip address to other sites there is no way of knowing whether or not or not the person is registered under a differant name. There's no way for you to know who they are either, unless you know the person concerned
Sgt has said there is a no 'naming and shaming' policy on this site and he will know from the other mods that it was never my intention to do that, but thanks Sgt for re-iterating it.
Of course I have the usual questions going through my head "did I encourage it", "did the fact I was sexily dressed say to him, this woman is asking for it", "did I give out the wrong signals by my behaviour". "I'm a swinger at a party, am I saying that I am fair game"? I equally know that the answer to these questions whether I was male or female is a resounding NO. No means no whatever the circumstances. It doesnt stop you worrying about it and feeling guilty.
Anyway Thankyou once again and I will reply to the pm's today
kaz
Orgasminator
Sorry to hear of your bad experience on sat, kaz, it must have been delt with so efficiently, because me and baz and others we were with did,nt know it had happened, but believe me we would have helped you out as well.
As for the guy i,m glad to hear he,s been dealt with, but maybe it,s me but how do we know that he just changes his name and rejoins as somebody else, and will he be able to pm us with or without changing his name, i, must sound parnoid
Ann & Baz xx
As for the guy i,m glad to hear he,s been dealt with, but maybe it,s me but how do we know that he just changes his name and rejoins as somebody else, and will he be able to pm us with or without changing his name, i, must sound parnoid
Ann & Baz xx
Quote by johneboy
Kaz
Looks like it's all been said already but it sounds like you dealt with the situation amazingly well, i take my proverbial hat off to you and sir lee for your restraint as i may have been inclined to take more physical action with him, and believe me that is not how i behave but these arrogant guys really piss me off big style
Not had the chance to meet you yet as you avoided me at the last Yorkshire Munch
Take care
J
All the above and:
Well, for all the newbies, and that includes me because I've never been to a munch yet, this thread just shows what a great community there is amongst SH members. Great support for you Kaz, and I hope this doesn't affect your swinging (it's bound to I know but lets hope not too much).
Even though I haven't met up yet I'm a bloke with repect for women and know that No means No and I'm sure the majority of blokes on here are the same.
As for name and shame, well, those that were there know who it was and his name will get around those within the true swinging circles so thats probably good enough. A DDOS attack on his IP would be fun though!
sorry forgot to say and this is going to leave a really bad taste in my mouth to say it, but it needs to be said 
People saw the incident take place, people responded and as such I feel totally justified in posting about it.
But, it is his story against mine and of such he hasn't been convicted of any crime therefore naming him publicly is finding him guilty without letting him have his say.
As for naming and shaming I don't want to hold a 'kangaroo court', after all it would come down to my word against his, I reitterate his details are known to other sites, his IP address is banned and as action has been taken I feel that everything that can be done, has been.
The mods and ops have re-assured me about the action taken and I am passing that re-assurance on to you
no one has remotely suggested that I am telling lies
kaz xxxxxxx
People saw the incident take place, people responded and as such I feel totally justified in posting about it.
But, it is his story against mine and of such he hasn't been convicted of any crime therefore naming him publicly is finding him guilty without letting him have his say.
As for naming and shaming I don't want to hold a 'kangaroo court', after all it would come down to my word against his, I reitterate his details are known to other sites, his IP address is banned and as action has been taken I feel that everything that can be done, has been.
The mods and ops have re-assured me about the action taken and I am passing that re-assurance on to you
no one has remotely suggested that I am telling lies
kaz xxxxxxx
Sex God
For the first time ever im gonna agree with Johneyboy. As for naming this idiot i think cases like this warrant the action. Someone being a pain in the arse with unwanted emails/pm's etc is one thing but this sounds like a phyical attack on a member which was witnessed by others. For the protection of people on other sites i'd name anyone who does things like this.
For any blokes reading this who think it is acceptable in any way just remember that this guy got off lightly
And any women feeling threatend by anyone at an event please let someone know so incidents like this can be avioded, 99% of us are decent blokes
Well done Kaz for being so cool
For any blokes reading this who think it is acceptable in any way just remember that this guy got off lightly
And any women feeling threatend by anyone at an event please let someone know so incidents like this can be avioded, 99% of us are decent blokes
Well done Kaz for being so cool
Quote by meat2pleaseu
For the first time ever im gonna agree with Johneyboy. As for naming this idiot i think cases like this warrant the action. Someone being a pain in the arse with unwanted emails/pm's etc is one thing but this sounds like a phyical attack on a member which was witnessed by others. For the protection of people on other sites i'd name anyone who does things like this.
For any blokes reading this who think it is acceptable in any way just remember that this guy got off lightly
And any women feeling threatend by anyone at an event please let someone know so incidents like this can be avioded, 99% of us are decent blokes
Well done Kaz for being so cool
Agreed.
Sorry to hear you have a bad taste in your mouth now Kaz!
Casanova
Kaz
Only just logged on babe cause not been very well, and the first post I read is yours. We are so sorry honey. We hope that you are alright and that this person (if thats what we can call him) does not spoil things for you.
You seem such a confident person that we are sure you will be ok. As for the community helping you out, well that goes without saying, the people in SH are (except this guy) are wonderful caring people and would help out enyone who needs help.
As for the person who did this we hope he gets what he deserves.
Sending you huge :therethere: and
xxxxxxxxxxx
Only just logged on babe cause not been very well, and the first post I read is yours. We are so sorry honey. We hope that you are alright and that this person (if thats what we can call him) does not spoil things for you.
You seem such a confident person that we are sure you will be ok. As for the community helping you out, well that goes without saying, the people in SH are (except this guy) are wonderful caring people and would help out enyone who needs help.
As for the person who did this we hope he gets what he deserves.
Sending you huge :therethere: and
xxxxxxxxxxx
Right i've been really dwelling on this since i read it this morning and i feel i have to say something, if i upset anyone who runs/owns this site in anyway thats not my intention but i feel i have to say my bit
How can you justify not nameing this man? ok i can understand on a one on one meet where its her word against his and she may be making it up cause they didn't get on, but this was at a munch (and witnessed by many) run by your site for your members, you know a munch that noones allowed to disclose the location to protect the members......well do the female members of this site not need protection from such people? ok so i assum you have banned him but what about any women who may have him on MSN and are still chatting to him not knowing whats gone off, the next woman he decided to get pushy with my not be as lucky as Kaz and have friends around to help her and if he can do that in a public place whats he capable of on a private meet? i just cannot believe that the rules of this site would put its female members in such danger! is it a case of hes not a member no more so its not our problem? i dunno
i could go on but i feel i would just be going round in circles so i'll shut up now
How can you justify not nameing this man? ok i can understand on a one on one meet where its her word against his and she may be making it up cause they didn't get on, but this was at a munch (and witnessed by many) run by your site for your members, you know a munch that noones allowed to disclose the location to protect the members......well do the female members of this site not need protection from such people? ok so i assum you have banned him but what about any women who may have him on MSN and are still chatting to him not knowing whats gone off, the next woman he decided to get pushy with my not be as lucky as Kaz and have friends around to help her and if he can do that in a public place whats he capable of on a private meet? i just cannot believe that the rules of this site would put its female members in such danger! is it a case of hes not a member no more so its not our problem? i dunno
i could go on but i feel i would just be going round in circles so i'll shut up now
Quote by naughtynymphos1
Right i've been really dwelling on this since i read it this morning and i feel i have to say something, if i upset anyone who runs/owns this site in anyway thats not my intention but i feel i have to say my bit
How can you justify not nameing this man? ok i can understand on a one on one meet where its her word against his and she may be making it up cause they didn't get on, but this was at a munch (and witnessed by many) run by your site for your members, you know a munch that noones allowed to disclose the location to protect the members......well do the female members of this site not need protection from such people? ok so i assum you have banned him but what about any women who may have him on MSN and are still chatting to him not knowing whats gone off, the next woman he decided to get pushy with my not be as lucky as Kaz and have friends around to help her and if he can do that in a public place whats he capable of on a private meet? i just cannot believe that the rules of this site would put its female members in such danger! is it a case of hes not a member no more so its not our problem? i dunno
i could go on but i feel i would just be going round in circles so i'll shut up now
I think 99.9% of the genuine members here would totally agree with you!!
Well said and good on your for having the guts to say it!
I agree with NN but I also can see the site owners predicament (ooer vicar).
in my opiinion, which usually counts for bugger all in our house, they should do some evidence gathering from the other attendees and, once happy they can make a reasonable decision, do so.
I don't think they can let this end at this point as, although Kaz might be satisfied with the outcome so far, other girlies need more protection from this twit (misprint)
in my opiinion, which usually counts for bugger all in our house, they should do some evidence gathering from the other attendees and, once happy they can make a reasonable decision, do so.
I don't think they can let this end at this point as, although Kaz might be satisfied with the outcome so far, other girlies need more protection from this twit (misprint)
There is nothing to discuss, we will not ever support naming and shaming of anyone, sorry.
The guy in question can not respond, here or in the chatroom and to the best of our ability, he will never be able to get back on site again.
Kaz, I know exactly how you've been feeling, I've experienced something similar and no one can understand how it feels
Massive hugs to you :therethere:
Dawn
The guy in question can not respond, here or in the chatroom and to the best of our ability, he will never be able to get back on site again.
Kaz, I know exactly how you've been feeling, I've experienced something similar and no one can understand how it feels
Massive hugs to you :therethere:
Dawn
Quote by Dawn_Mids
There is nothing to discuss, we will not ever support naming and shaming of anyone, sorry.
well i hope noone i have become friends with and care about ever goes to meet him, i know 100% for sure if i knew of such a person i'd do my bloody upmost to protect women from him, i really don't think i could sleep at night knowing other women could be arranging to meet such a guy and i knew his name, but thats only my opinion.
P.S please don't think that was directed at you in anyway dawn i know you don't make the site rules up
so sorry to hear of this kaz, must have spoiled a great night for you
i cant belive that someone would do this
why should you be asking yourself questions if you encouraged him or not, you told him no twice and that is once too many. i didnt see what happened , or maybe it was late on after i left, but if i would have id probably have knocked the guy all round the cricket pitch
seems your dealing with it well and you have some wonderfull freinds on here. i didnt talk to you on saturday but like the others i hope your ok
take care
and for what its worth and i know its not a debate but the low life should be named in my oppinion
i cant belive that someone would do this
why should you be asking yourself questions if you encouraged him or not, you told him no twice and that is once too many. i didnt see what happened , or maybe it was late on after i left, but if i would have id probably have knocked the guy all round the cricket pitch
seems your dealing with it well and you have some wonderfull freinds on here. i didnt talk to you on saturday but like the others i hope your ok
take care
and for what its worth and i know its not a debate but the low life should be named in my oppinion
All i want to say is hope your alright Kaz :therethere: ....
The support in this community is bloody amazing and im so glad to be part of it...even if i never attend a munch i now what great people you all are...
But i totally agree with NN im very worried about this person now...do i have him on my msn... ...have i emailed him...i think maybe it could be passed on to many of the lovely ladies on this site by pm just to warn about this person......
Just my view but i do totally agree its not a good idea to put his name on the forum as it could lead to all sorts....but some sort of warning system should be put into place...for the safety of the community
The support in this community is bloody amazing and im so glad to be part of it...even if i never attend a munch i now what great people you all are...
But i totally agree with NN im very worried about this person now...do i have him on my msn...
...have i emailed him...i think maybe it could be passed on to many of the lovely ladies on this site by pm just to warn about this person......Just my view but i do totally agree its not a good idea to put his name on the forum as it could lead to all sorts....but some sort of warning system should be put into place...for the safety of the community
