Acceptable behaviour at clubs

29 Jan 2005

It's me again with another question before I get on with my life...
Are there activities that are off limits at swinging parties? For example gangbangs, bukkake, watersports, S/M, male homosexuality and so on? Would a club inform patrons of the no go areas or are people expected to just know what is appropriate behaviour and what is not?
I am so worried I would do something wrong and offend people. redface

Looking forward to your replies
Tania

29 Jan 2005

It depends what party you go to. Why all the questions?

29 Jan 2005

Quote by bluexxx
It depends what party you go to. Why all the questions?

Duh, because I am a newbie and terribly self conscious. But I will stop posting questions for a while, give you a breather. Gee, this must be a record for me, not even 24 hours on a message board and I already seem to have rubbed people the wrong way! sad

29 Jan 2005

Quote by Tania
It depends what party you go to. Why all the questions?

Duh, because I am a newbie and terribly self conscious. But I will stop posting questions for a while, give you a breather. Gee, this must be a record for me, not even 24 hours on a message board and I already seem to have rubbed people the wrong way! sad

I intended no offence. You must understand that we are a wee bit sceptical of newbies who ask lots of potentially controversial questions. Journalists do it sometimes to get info for stories. Not that asking questions is wrong, it's a difficult one really confused

:? :?

29 Jan 2005

You used the words "Club" and "Party". In my mind these are 2 different concepts. The former is a business designed to provide you with the facilities to enable you to enjoy yourselves in return for earning a profit out of it, and the latter is a social gathering of friends. (according to my understanding of the dictionary terms)
There are clubs with focusses on virtually all scenes and fetishes, so if you do your homework and pick your right clubs, you can do whatever pleases you there. A well-run club would give new members a guided tour when joining, and explain to them what goes on and where. After that you are left to enjoy yourselves in your own way. Obviously, doing a hey-diddle-piddle in a club without a waterproof area would get you into trouble, but no doubt you would have enough sense not to do that anyway.
At a party, you can always talk to the host(s) to see what fits in with their party and what they allow / don't allow in their homes. Never underestimate the power of communication, and remember that the daftest question is the one that doesn't get asked.

29 Jan 2005

Yep, what she said smile

. Spreading yourself out between banter, so people get to know you, searches, and questions normally proves to be a good mix wink

I might have a question on giving head later.......and if anyone thinks I`ll be successful in narrowing down `Blowjob` in the search facility, they have more faith than I! lol

Let`s see where `Blowjob technique` gets me :s
Venusxxx

29 Jan 2005

Quote by Scandal

I might have a question on giving head later.......
Let`s see where `Blowjob technique` gets me :s
Venusxxx

The answer is yes you can practise on me lol

:lol:
Would you believe I read that AFTER I started the thread?! rotflmao

Venusxxx

29 Jan 2005

Quote by partyman
There are clubs with focusses on virtually all scenes and fetishes, so if you do your homework and pick your right clubs, you can do whatever pleases you there. A well-run club would give new members a guided tour when joining, and explain to them what goes on and where. After that you are left to enjoy yourselves in your own way.

My only experiences were BDSM related and I went to a members' club once as a guest of a friend but found no info about acceptable behaviour. Oddly enough my friend said that sex in public was not allowed yet no longer had she said this that we saw a young Dom give it to his blonde subbie doggie style. There was also a fucking machine in the site and that blonde got to monopolise it - heck they were insatiable them two! LOL I recall a box of wet wipes and some condoms and lubricant by the fucking machine but wet wipes are not disinfectant wipes and the lubricant on offer was a particularly nasty one, known to cause allergies (note the writing on the black sachets: 'non non allergenic', i.e. allergenic).
But it seems that the BDSM world and the swinging world are oceans apart and it is reassuring to hear that new people would be given the tour and the talk - at the end of the day the owners of a club can't know who is experienced and who is not.

29 Jan 2005

Quote by Tania
But it seems that the BDSM world and the swinging world are oceans apart and it is reassuring to hear that new people would be given the tour and the talk - at the end of the day the owners of a club can't know who is experienced and who is not.

Just a shame that you are in London and the best clubs are, er, NOT in London, so maybe you have not experienced how a well run club operates.

29 Jan 2005

Well I am sure if a man likes me enough, he will invite me over to his neck of the woods and show me what I've been missing! smile

29 Jan 2005

Some of the London clubs can be really grotty. Try for info.

29 Jan 2005

Quote by Tania
Well I am sure if a man likes me enough, he will invite me over to his neck of the woods and show me what I've been missing!

Consider yourself to have an invite to Tyneside ANYTIME biggrin

(but it is a long way to come sad

)
Welcome to the site Tania, & enjoy your time here. You will certainly get lots of good advice, & don't worry about asking what seem to you to be daft questions. I can't help out much on the subject of clubs, because so far I haven't been to one (although I'm hoping that will change before too long :P ).
Get involved in some of the discussions... but beware that this place is rather addictive!!!!!! And once you get to be know, you can get invited to some Munches & parties, & get to know people face-to-face.

29 Jan 2005

Quote by Tania
Well I am sure if a man likes me enough, he will invite me over to his neck of the woods and show me what I've been missing!

Well I'm sure that in time when more about you is known for people to decide that they like you, someone (even someone with a circumcised cock) will ask you along.

29 Jan 2005

As far as we know W/S in the bar area is almost universally frowned upon . Glad to help x

29 Jan 2005

I find that male bisexuals can be frowned upon in some clubs which I find hypocritical when its expected of the woman to be bi rolleyes

29 Jan 2005

Quote by Silk and Big G
As far as we know W/S in the bar area is almost universally frowned upon . Glad to help x

And I thought I had ordered and apple juice! :shock: :shock: :shock:
Ewwwwwwwww.
There are quite a few unwritten rules I think, my fist experience of a swinging club was hilarious cos I didn't understand the subtle come ons of the lady lay next to me! redface

Bi men............ can I watch!?? :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

29 Jan 2005

Quote by little gem
As far as we know W/S in the bar area is almost universally frowned upon . Glad to help x

And I thought I had ordered and apple juice! :shock: :shock: :shock:
Ewwwwwwwww.
There are quite a few unwritten rules I think, my fist experience of a swinging club was hilarious cos I didn't understand the subtle come ons of the lady lay next to me! redface

Bi men............ can I watch!?? :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
you can watch me anytime biggrin

29 Jan 2005

Actually there is nothing better than seducing a TV... treating him like an innocent young girl and then making him do nasty things a girl should never do. :twisted:
Which reminds me and I may be off topic now but please indulge me. I met this American CD recently. He has been doing some illustrations for me and came to my house to show me his completed work and get to know me in general. Of course I knew about his dark secrets (it is easy for men to confide in me) and no sooner had he settled in, I got him to strip and show me his girlie underwear. Then things got a bit hot between us and if I had not let my good sense prevail, I might have him there and then. Fortunately, there is another visit to look forward to smile

Damn hormones!

30 Jan 2005

Quote by little gem
Bi men............ can I watch!?? :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Oh, if only there were more with such an attitude...
I find it grossly unfair that since 99% of men seem to find girl-on-girl arousing, simply being bisexual (or open to the possibility) can raise a lass up the "totty-o-meter" (as I'm sure most blokes have measured upon before... it's a pig thing). Conversely, however, I have frequently been greeted with either disinterest, revulsion or "Gay mate syndrome" when pointing out my sexuality to ladies...
Obviously hang out with the wrong ladies... heh...

30 Jan 2005

Come hang out with me teep! ;) lol

I dont know why the male bi thing is seen as such a big deel, if the blokes brushed it off as normal as much as the girlies do then I don't think there would be such a relief when a perve like me says,........ mmmmmm :twisted:
Ok Rambling drunken mode again :doh: Let me not hog this thread anylonger. redface

30 Jan 2005

Any time you like, Gem! ;)
Seriously, though... an entirely hedonistic, "any gender will do" outlook doesn't seem to go down to well in my peergroup/workplace/geographic or demographic situation... it's why I'm quite closet about the whole thing... hohum...
But you're right - no more thread hogging! Sorry!

30 Jan 2005

Quote by EasyTeep
I find it grossly unfair that since 99% of men seem to find girl-on-girl arousing, simply being bisexual (or open to the possibility) can raise a lass up the "totty-o-meter"

I would attribute it to insecurity. A man knows that a woman has no other option but to come to men if she wants a baby but a woman knows that once a man tastes the forbidden fruit he may never want to go back to women again.
Don't be angry with people for their attitudes - just accept them as they are and make the best that you can in life with what you have.
Tania

30 Jan 2005

Some clubs have bi nights, which are meant to be largely for bi men who might feel uncomfortable with each other in clubs where the straights are everywhere, or couples where both partners are bi. I've had lots of good times at bi nights, trouble is sometimes straight men turn up thinking "Bi night" means they are going to see none stop girl on girl, and these tossers end up being offended when there is cock sucking and the like going on confused

. OK, fine, no probs whatsoever with straight men going to bi nights, provided they don't make the atmosphere shit for the very people the night is designed for mad

. Fortunately this type of straight man is in the minority, but damned annoying all the same rolleyes

30 Jan 2005

I went to a regular swingers party in Spain last year (thanks to some Spanish friends that I have) and there was open bi-male activity going on there. Not as much as the bi-female fun, but it was there and in the open nevertheless. None of the others seemed at all disturbed by it. It surprised me as I am used to the UK scene where that sort of thing would not normally come to the fore, but the locals just treated it as part of the scenery (sorry, no pun intended)
Could it be a cultural thing with us prudish Brits I wonder?

30 Jan 2005

Possibly, P-man, but I try to avoid going overseas if I can, so I wouldn't know!
And Tania, don't get me wrong - I don't get annoyed with these people since their opinions are theirs to keep! If anything I find it a little amusing because (from my point of view, at least) I know what they are missing out on! Seems a bit of a shame, really...
Back in the days when I was "straight" (ie pre-bi-discovery... ;) ) I was the kind of accepting straight guy you describe, blue - I went to a performing arts college and with all the "luvvieness" thereabouts it was hard to escape any possible gender preference and, to an extent, flagrant displays of such (I think I posted about my "losing virginity in crowded room" elsewhere in this forum as an example). I think that the acceptance is a point of nurture rather than nature - although obviously not 100%...