Quote by Freckledbird
Advert? :shock: Oooooooooo no!
Advert :shock: Ooooooooooooooooo yes!
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Advert experiment...
last reply
52 replies
2.6k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Sex God
Failed on 5 - me! 
.
.
It would seem that your advert has now disappeared so we are sorry we can't comment on its good/bad qualities
but
based on your excellent profile (think we may have mentioned this to you b4) we are astonished you are havng any difficulty at all getting your gorgeous self horizontal (or vertical or even slightly at an obscene angle)
Speaking for ourselves we have found that over the last 6 mnths or so, since we last revised our ads, the responses have slowly reduced. Maybe it's about time we revamped them.
It's always nice to have summat fresh and new on there
but
based on your excellent profile (think we may have mentioned this to you b4) we are astonished you are havng any difficulty at all getting your gorgeous self horizontal (or vertical or even slightly at an obscene angle)
Speaking for ourselves we have found that over the last 6 mnths or so, since we last revised our ads, the responses have slowly reduced. Maybe it's about time we revamped them.
It's always nice to have summat fresh and new on there
Warming the Bed
Allegedly :thumbup:
well, allegedly...
Thank you Witchy I will copy it a few thousand times so as to memorise it...
In response to the thread it seems that the forum is the place to actualy meet people who can read and write, because lets face it this exactly what we are debating here... whether a person has the ability to understand what is writen and maybe, read between the lines... Is it not a shame how the girls complain about the amount of idiots not reading the profile or sending a grunt and a picurte of their knobs, and the amount of male complaining about being totally ignored....it is a true reflection of the real world.... so this virtual world is not any better after all..
One last thing if I may,I do not agree with ( damn I forgot who it was????_) who said man do not read the manuals????!!! That is so unfair
we open the box try and play straight away with the toy, if it does not work and we do not seem to be as clever as we thought, we then turn to the manual and read it!!!!
just because we do not start by reading it does not mean we do not read it at all...
lol
xx
:wink:
well, allegedly...
Thank you Witchy I will copy it a few thousand times so as to memorise it...
In response to the thread it seems that the forum is the place to actualy meet people who can read and write, because lets face it this exactly what we are debating here... whether a person has the ability to understand what is writen and maybe, read between the lines... Is it not a shame how the girls complain about the amount of idiots not reading the profile or sending a grunt and a picurte of their knobs, and the amount of male complaining about being totally ignored....it is a true reflection of the real world.... so this virtual world is not any better after all..
One last thing if I may,I do not agree with ( damn I forgot who it was????_) who said man do not read the manuals????!!! That is so unfair
we open the box try and play straight away with the toy, if it does not work and we do not seem to be as clever as we thought, we then turn to the manual and read it!!!!
just because we do not start by reading it does not mean we do not read it at all...
lol
xx
:wink:
Sex God
Quote by Dirtygirly
Maybe if I'd written a one liner ......
When have you ever written anything less than an essay? :haha:
Sex God
Quote by meat2pleaseu
Maybe if I'd written a one liner ......
When have you ever written anything less than an essay? :haha:
And maybe that's where I'm going wrong! :undecided:
Quote by Ste_n_Kez
oh god dont ask me i have a ad and not one single reply lol
i was pondering this the other day, we always hear the site is overrun by single men, but ... i think once you sort out whos actually single, not pretending to be, then how many of them are really looking to swing, not just cyber, then out of those how many either live close enough, i would fancy or they would fancy me, or they are really cool in a 3 sum situation, well i think that leaves just the one, and thankfully i found him lol
i have searced the ads looking before, but they just are not there. i would only message someone who had a pic, some info etc, its no good not even knowing anything before im labled a time waster cuse when i find out they are nothing like what im after i dont want to meet.
xx fem xx
sorry im rambling today and i should be working
xx
Hi fem,
I'm a single guy and just saw your ad and will send you a PM as soon as I can.
Oh and please don’t mention this to Kez
lol
oh and res your flatter me far to much , but thankyou lol
xxxx fem xxx
Sex God
Quote by Dirtygirly
Maybe if I'd written a one liner ......
When have you ever written anything less than an essay? :haha:
And maybe that's where I'm going wrong! :undecided:
Depends, some of your essays have been very........
An advert:
Hi. We're a normal straight couple looking for a normal guy to complete our ideal threesome. We don't need friends though, just a favourite fuck-buddy
The lady is gorgeous and slim, who loves to wear stockings and heels, if a little shy. He is supportive and keen on amateur photography, particularly of local wildlife.
If you think you have what we need to create the ideal mmf, drop us a line and a photo, you never know you may be the exception to the rule. Distance no object for the right person!
Who could an ad like this apply to?
Hi. We're a normal straight couple looking for a normal guy to complete our ideal threesome. We don't need friends though, just a favourite fuck-buddy
The lady is gorgeous and slim, who loves to wear stockings and heels, if a little shy. He is supportive and keen on amateur photography, particularly of local wildlife.
If you think you have what we need to create the ideal mmf, drop us a line and a photo, you never know you may be the exception to the rule. Distance no object for the right person!
Who could an ad like this apply to?
Sex God
Someone (!) wrote me a new one... thought I'd share!
"To the tune of the Addams Family"
"My Name is Dirty Girly,
I've got no Short n Curlies
Orgasm's make me swirly,
Come and please fuck me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
I live in a place that's bonny,
Edinburgh for you my hunny,
I've got batteries in my bunny,
So come and please fuck me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
I'll take a man or lady,
It's a yes not no or maybe,
But be safe, no squawking babies
So come and please fuck me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
I'm feeling kind of frisky
and I know this ad is risky,
I'll even give ya whisky
If you'll come and please fuck me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click)
I'm asking really politely,
If you'll go at least twice nightly,
Just don't look like Richard Whiteley
If you come and play with me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
I've got some sexy knickers
and me boobs are built for lickers,
I'll even deep fry your Snickers
If you come and play with me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
Don't be creepy or be cookie,
and wear clothes minging and mucky
I just want some rampant Nookie,
So can you please fuck me?.. Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
I don't expect perfection,
from a wide S.H selection,
Just a man with an erection,
Who can use it to fuck me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click)
I'm not asking for a lot,
Just a bloke who makes me hot,
Who knows how to work my slot.
When you want to play with me... Du Du Dum (click click)
You don't have to have three cocks,
To stick a PM into my box,
Just don't turn up wearing crocs
If you want to come fuck me... Du Du Dum (click click)
I really want to please,
And bring you down to your knees
Quick or my bits will seize
If you don't hurry to fuck me... Du Du Dum (click click)
I don't mean to sound all needy,
Or sexually greedy,
I'd even do Cheryl Tweedy,
If you don't hurry to shag me... Du Du Dum (click click)
So please don't you worry,
I need a man in a hurry,
It's so bad I'll shag Andy Murray
If you don't come up to shag me... Du Du Dum (click click)
Thankyou all for reading,
My humble ad that's pleading,
For you to give my tits a kneading,
If you'll only just P.M. meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
... Du Du Dum (click click)
"To the tune of the Addams Family"
"My Name is Dirty Girly,
I've got no Short n Curlies
Orgasm's make me swirly,
Come and please fuck me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
I live in a place that's bonny,
Edinburgh for you my hunny,
I've got batteries in my bunny,
So come and please fuck me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
I'll take a man or lady,
It's a yes not no or maybe,
But be safe, no squawking babies
So come and please fuck me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
I'm feeling kind of frisky
and I know this ad is risky,
I'll even give ya whisky
If you'll come and please fuck me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click)
I'm asking really politely,
If you'll go at least twice nightly,
Just don't look like Richard Whiteley
If you come and play with me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
I've got some sexy knickers
and me boobs are built for lickers,
I'll even deep fry your Snickers
If you come and play with me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
Don't be creepy or be cookie,
and wear clothes minging and mucky
I just want some rampant Nookie,
So can you please fuck me?.. Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
I don't expect perfection,
from a wide S.H selection,
Just a man with an erection,
Who can use it to fuck me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click)
I'm not asking for a lot,
Just a bloke who makes me hot,
Who knows how to work my slot.
When you want to play with me... Du Du Dum (click click)
You don't have to have three cocks,
To stick a PM into my box,
Just don't turn up wearing crocs
If you want to come fuck me... Du Du Dum (click click)
I really want to please,
And bring you down to your knees
Quick or my bits will seize
If you don't hurry to fuck me... Du Du Dum (click click)
I don't mean to sound all needy,
Or sexually greedy,
I'd even do Cheryl Tweedy,
If you don't hurry to shag me... Du Du Dum (click click)
So please don't you worry,
I need a man in a hurry,
It's so bad I'll shag Andy Murray
If you don't come up to shag me... Du Du Dum (click click)
Thankyou all for reading,
My humble ad that's pleading,
For you to give my tits a kneading,
If you'll only just P.M. meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
... Du Du Dum (click click)
Quote by Dirtygirly
Someone (!) wrote me a new one... thought I'd share!
"To the tune of the Addams Family"
"My Name is Dirty Girly,
I've got no Short n Curlies
Orgasm's make me swirly,
Come and please fuck me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
I live in a place that's bonny,
Edinburgh for you my hunny,
I've got batteries in my bunny,
So come and please fuck me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
I'll take a man or lady,
It's a yes not no or maybe,
But be safe, no squawking babies
So come and please fuck me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
I'm feeling kind of frisky
and I know this ad is risky,
I'll even give ya whisky
If you'll come and please fuck me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click)
I'm asking really politely,
If you'll go at least twice nightly,
Just don't look like Richard Whiteley
If you come and play with me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
I've got some sexy knickers
and me boobs are built for lickers,
I'll even deep fry your Snickers
If you come and play with me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
Don't be creepy or be cookie,
and wear clothes minging and mucky
I just want some rampant Nookie,
So can you please fuck me?.. Du Du Du Dumm (click click etc)
I don't expect perfection,
from a wide S.H selection,
Just a man with an erection,
Who can use it to fuck me... Du Du Du Dumm (click click)
I'm not asking for a lot,
Just a bloke who makes me hot,
Who knows how to work my slot.
When you want to play with me... Du Du Dum (click click)
You don't have to have three cocks,
To stick a PM into my box,
Just don't turn up wearing crocs
If you want to come fuck me... Du Du Dum (click click)
I really want to please,
And bring you down to your knees
Quick or my bits will seize
If you don't hurry to fuck me... Du Du Dum (click click)
I don't mean to sound all needy,
Or sexually greedy,
I'd even do Cheryl Tweedy,
If you don't hurry to shag me... Du Du Dum (click click)
So please don't you worry,
I need a man in a hurry,
It's so bad I'll shag Andy Murray
If you don't come up to shag me... Du Du Dum (click click)
Thankyou all for reading,
My humble ad that's pleading,
For you to give my tits a kneading,
If you'll only just P.M. meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
... Du Du Dum (click click)
I'm willing to bet it was a certain merseysider composed that for you DG. Would I be correct
Sex God
Oi Bountyhunter, I dares you to put that as your advert just for a bit and see the responses... 
Sex God
Quote by noladreams30
Oi Bountyhunter, I dares you to put that as your advert just for a bit and see the responses...
That's my plan... I shall do it now! :mrgreen:
Sex God
Done!! :thumbup:
And my first response...
How lovely?
Bless you Res!
And my first response...
Hi...I can't answer YES to all your questions...but I just had to drop you a line to say what an amazing ad....i just loved the 'song'....I so wish I could answer YES to all you want. Good luck. xxxx
How lovely?
Bless you Res!
Quote by laurent
One last thing if I may,I do not agree with ( damn I forgot who it was????_) who said man do not read the manuals????!!! That is so unfair
we open the box try and play straight away with the toy, if it does not work and we do not seem to be as clever as we thought, we then turn to the manual and read it!!!!
just because we do not start by reading it does not mean we do not read it at all...
lol
xx
But just not the name of the manufacturer on the box then?
Has to be said though, the part in bold is not a bad summary of some approaches to reading an ad - look at the pic, attempt to play with it, read the details later! :giggle:
Warming the Bed
Hi Serendipity
I would totally have to agree with you. To be honest when I read your comment I had just come back from Mexico where I watch myself ripping through the box of my new camera. I was so excited to, at last be able to make some good shots, and here I was shooting and shooting. And then the comment that made my mates piss themselves laughing in the evening back at the hotel was "..by the way how the f%$& is this camera working and what can i do with it...." and of course I give you there comments on a plate "... Ronnie mate how about reading the manual???? lol" "... the manual yes right where is it again???" hence my big smile reading your comment.
However one cannot speak for the whole gender, I am always rather frustrated at the attitudes which tend to try and widden the riffs that are between man, and woman. I cannot stand the idea that people still beleive in the "... woman are from mars and man from Venus.." ( I still have not read that book by the way)especially when we spend our entire life trying to get acquainted with a person from the other sex, whether it be for love, sex, or just the need to flater ones ego. I love woman in general and as much as I would like to generalise sometimes,( you know the old chat at the pub with the lads,) however in all honesty it is more the stupidity of one individual that makes me mad more than an attitude that could falsly be associasted to one gender. Do I make any sense at all or is that total French to you guys???
x
But just not the name of the manufacturer on the box then?
Has to be said though, the part in bold is not a bad summary of some approaches to reading an ad - look at the pic, attempt to play with it, read the details later! :giggle:
I would totally have to agree with you. To be honest when I read your comment I had just come back from Mexico where I watch myself ripping through the box of my new camera. I was so excited to, at last be able to make some good shots, and here I was shooting and shooting. And then the comment that made my mates piss themselves laughing in the evening back at the hotel was "..by the way how the f%$& is this camera working and what can i do with it...." and of course I give you there comments on a plate "... Ronnie mate how about reading the manual???? lol" "... the manual yes right where is it again???" hence my big smile reading your comment.
However one cannot speak for the whole gender, I am always rather frustrated at the attitudes which tend to try and widden the riffs that are between man, and woman. I cannot stand the idea that people still beleive in the "... woman are from mars and man from Venus.." ( I still have not read that book by the way)especially when we spend our entire life trying to get acquainted with a person from the other sex, whether it be for love, sex, or just the need to flater ones ego. I love woman in general and as much as I would like to generalise sometimes,( you know the old chat at the pub with the lads,) however in all honesty it is more the stupidity of one individual that makes me mad more than an attitude that could falsly be associasted to one gender. Do I make any sense at all or is that total French to you guys???
x
But just not the name of the manufacturer on the box then?
Has to be said though, the part in bold is not a bad summary of some approaches to reading an ad - look at the pic, attempt to play with it, read the details later! :giggle:
Warming the Bed
Quote by Serendipity
However one cannot speak for the whole gender
Indeed not, hence my use of the words "many" and "some" rather than "all"
Have you found the manual yet?
:lol:
I am pleased to say I have.
But judge me not on that story only, for I do read people's profile and ad before PM ing and I still do not get any reply??
so where do I go wrong.
xx
laurent
Quote by laurent
However one cannot speak for the whole gender
Indeed not, hence my use of the words "many" and "some" rather than "all"
Have you found the manual yet?
:lol:
I am pleased to say I have.
But judge me not on that story only, for I do read people's profile and ad before PM ing and I still do not get any reply??
so where do I go wrong.
xx
laurent
Excuse me for butting in Laurent.....but it is just the way it is!
Some people will reply to all PMs, others will not.
I know its not nice if you take time and effort in to a message, to get nothing back in return, thats why I may start a campaign for a "Thanks but no thanks" response option on our mail pages, then it will only be a click to respond, if the answer is indeed a no thanks!
I have no idea I'm afraid Laurent, I can only give you my point of view which is...
- I have sent PMs in the past and had no response too, this is not just a single male phenomenon.
- I try to respond to most reasonable PMs from ads but there are times when the volume makes it necessary to only reply to a few. I know others who try to do this too but the time constantly spent doing that could be spent on talking to people you do want to meet.
- If you send the much hankered after "polite no thank you", it can sometimes be responded to with attempts at persuasion or just downright rudeness that begin to make it less desirable to respond to people who aren't what you want, at all.
- Some people work by the rule, no reply means no interest, which is their choice.
- Then there's the fact that a lot of people find it dificult to say no, so they say nothing.
So ultimately, you're not going wrong, you just have to accept that people won't respond in the way you want for any number of reasons that you can't control! There's no manual for swinging unfortunately
- I have sent PMs in the past and had no response too, this is not just a single male phenomenon.
- I try to respond to most reasonable PMs from ads but there are times when the volume makes it necessary to only reply to a few. I know others who try to do this too but the time constantly spent doing that could be spent on talking to people you do want to meet.
- If you send the much hankered after "polite no thank you", it can sometimes be responded to with attempts at persuasion or just downright rudeness that begin to make it less desirable to respond to people who aren't what you want, at all.
- Some people work by the rule, no reply means no interest, which is their choice.
- Then there's the fact that a lot of people find it dificult to say no, so they say nothing.
So ultimately, you're not going wrong, you just have to accept that people won't respond in the way you want for any number of reasons that you can't control! There's no manual for swinging unfortunately
Warming the Bed
Quote by Lucyandmike7
However one cannot speak for the whole gender
Indeed not, hence my use of the words "many" and "some" rather than "all"
Have you found the manual yet?
:lol:
I am pleased to say I have.
But judge me not on that story only, for I do read people's profile and ad before PM ing and I still do not get any reply??
so where do I go wrong.
xx
laurent
Excuse me for butting in Laurent.....but it is just the way it is!
Some people will reply to all PMs, others will not.
I know its not nice if you take time and effort in to a message, to get nothing back in return, thats why I may start a campaign for a "Thanks but no thanks" response option on our mail pages, then it will only be a click to respond, if the answer is indeed a no thanks!
Actually you know what that is a great idea...
I am totally familiar with the fact that some people cannot read, but the roots of the argument is technically the rudness and the ignorance of some replies.. I am really sorry I would love to elaborate but I have to go and by the way do not apologise for barging in it is nice to have some proper contact with real people as a single bloke it does not happen that often on SH... :lol:
Big love to you all and have a good week end..
laurent
