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Advice needed...

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tattyxpx
Orgasminator
wave hello folks... it's me again.
I have a question and i'm not too sure where I'd get the right answer... So I thought in my wisdom I'd through it open in here biggrin
Its regarding munches.... rolleyes I have a very good friend who I'd like very much to attend a munch with me, as my partner for the evening, (well who knows if he gets on with folks maybe longer) but the problem is, he isn't a member of any swinging site, the only interest he has in swinging is with me....(so far).
As invites only go to folks who are members how would this work. He has no desire to join a Swingers site, so would it be at all possible for him to attend.
Thanking you's in advance for your input.
A very confused tatty right now :crazy:
twos_company
Sex God
Quote by tattyxpx
:. He has no desire to join a Swingers site, so would it be at all possible for him to attend.
Thanking you's in advance for your input.
A very confused tatty right now :crazy:

if he has no desire to join a swingers site................
why on earth would he want to come to a munch???
Unknown User
If he's never been a member of a swinging site then it stands to reason that he's never been banned from one either ........ members can bring their partners ........ can't see any reason why you wouldn't be able to bring him along. dunno
Steve
tattyxpx
Orgasminator
Quote by twos_company
if he has no desire to join a swingers site................
why on earth would he want to come to a munch???

Quite simply to meet the friends I have within this scene. I know him through a different scene you see and as much as I can go with him to any of those munchies, I'm not too sure if our scene is like that one where as... If you are the partner of a member your made welcome confused
Hope that makes some sense dunno
tattyxpx
Orgasminator
Quote by steveg_nw
If he's never been a member of a swinging site then it stands to reason that he's never been banned from one either ........ members can bring their partners ........ can't see any reason why you wouldn't be able to bring him along. dunno
Steve

Cool cheers Steve, I knew either you or Mal would come along and put my little mind at rest wink
kiss thankyou xxxxx
Darkfire
Sex God
As I understand it hun, anyone recieving an invite to a munch has to be a member of the site. No membership = no invite.
My vanilla partner registered here months ago for that very reason, never posts, doesnt even log in etc, but should there be a time that he decides to come with me to a social/ munch, then he can, because he's a site member, and although not known, I can certainly vouch for him etc.
I think thats the way it works biggrin
in edit:
Quote by steveg_nw
........ members can bring their partners ........ can't see any reason why you wouldn't be able to bring him along. dunno

oh ok maybe not then lol
davej
Sex God
Can't see why it should be an issue tatty, I've been to socials and munches and mrs davej has been with me on each occasion, she's not a member here or elsewhere and none of the munch organisers have had any problem with me bringing her along.
tattyxpx
Orgasminator
Quote by Darkfire
As I understand it hun, anyone recieving an invite to a munch has to be a member of the site. No membership = no invite.
My vanilla partner registered here months ago for that very reason, never posts, doesnt even log in etc, but should there be a time that he decides to come with me to a social/ munch, then he can, because he's a site member, and although not known, I can certainly vouch for him etc.
I think thats the way it works biggrin

If this is the case, would he be able to then get away with the fee by me simply changing my status from single to couple, even though he wouldn't want to be an active part of the swinging....
Oh see... I told you's i'm so easilly confused confused (and a tight arsed jock to boot) rotflmao
Unknown User
I've been to a few munches and other social events and been introduced to Partners (not registered) of Members.
Last one was the Night at the Dogs ......... 2 Members brought their non swinging, non registered Partners..................... so unless the rules have changed it shouldnt be a problem
kiss
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Unknown User
I was trying to weigh this one up and was almost coming down on the side of - don't some members bring partners who are not active members and therefore was about to say - hey why not?
But then this made me think again...
Quote by twos_company
if he has no desire to join a swingers site................
why on earth would he want to come to a munch???

If he has no desire to join a swinging site - why should he wish to meet the people he has no desire to interact with online?
If he was a longstanding RL partner I would still say - hey why not?
However, he is not a RL partner and the danger is the president that would be set - it's OK to bring along non-members/vanillas for what could end up being a bit of a giggle and to satisfy their curiosity (and I don't mean curiosity about becoming a swinger).
tattyxpx
Orgasminator
Quote by davej
Can't see why it should be an issue tatty, I've been to socials and munches and mrs davej has been with me on each occasion, she's not a member here or elsewhere and none of the munch organisers have had any problem with me bringing her along.

Cheers Dave kiss
I'm just wondering if thats been because the organisers have known you to be part of a couple though, whereas I'm down as single, and would no doubt stay that way even with him confused
Anyways, is it up to the organiser to decide does anyone know?
Or would it be up to Admin of the site :shock:
Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by tattyxpx
Oh see... I told you's i'm so easilly confused confused rotflmao

dont worry about it , me too lol
twos_company
Sex God
Quote by davej
Can't see why it should be an issue tatty, I've been to socials and munches and mrs davej has been with me on each occasion, she's not a member here or elsewhere and none of the munch organisers have had any problem with me bringing her along.

but youre a mod.....u can make rules up as you go along....
biggrin
bolt
tattyxpx
Orgasminator
Quote by PoloLady
If he was a longstanding RL partner I would still say - hey why not?
However, he is not and the danger is the president that would be set - it's OK to bring along non-members/vanillas for what could end up being a bit of a giggle and to satisfy their curiosity (and I don't mean curiosity about becoming a swinger).

Now maybe you'll see why this is such a dilema for me redface
Unknown User
Quote by tattyxpx

If he was a longstanding RL partner I would still say - hey why not?
However, he is not and the danger is the president that would be set - it's OK to bring along non-members/vanillas for what could end up being a bit of a giggle and to satisfy their curiosity (and I don't mean curiosity about becoming a swinger).

Now maybe you'll see why this is such a dilema for me redface
I have no doubts you would use sensible judgement and not bring an arsehole along - but it does set a president that it is OK to bring along anyone you know(ish) as your partner for the evening. Not all may be as sensible as you.
And before anyone suggests exceptions.... rules need to be rules! You will bring to the surface the biggest can of worms if there are exceptions made.
tattyxpx
Orgasminator
Quote by PoloLady

If he was a longstanding RL partner I would still say - hey why not?
However, he is not and the danger is the president that would be set - it's OK to bring along non-members/vanillas for what could end up being a bit of a giggle and to satisfy their curiosity (and I don't mean curiosity about becoming a swinger).

Now maybe you'll see why this is such a dilema for me redface
I have no doubts you would use sensible judgement and not bring an arsehole along - but it does set a president that it is OK to bring along anyone you know(ish) as your partner for the evening. Not all may be as sensible as you.
And before anyone suggests exceptions.... rule need to be rules! You will bring to the surface the biggest can of worms if there are exceptions made.
Very true, and in all honesty I wouldn't ask for any exception to be made on my behalf, however I was purely looking for clarification on the matter.
:thumbup:
tallnhairy
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady

If he was a longstanding RL partner I would still say - hey why not?
However, he is not and the danger is the president that would be set - it's OK to bring along non-members/vanillas for what could end up being a bit of a giggle and to satisfy their curiosity (and I don't mean curiosity about becoming a swinger).

Now maybe you'll see why this is such a dilema for me redface
I have no doubts you would use sensible judgement and not bring an arsehole along - but it does set a president that it is OK to bring along anyone you know(ish) as your partner for the evening. Not all may be as sensible as you.
And before anyone suggests exceptions.... rules need to be rules! You will bring to the surface the biggest can of worms if there are exceptions made.
One thing though Polo, if you bring someone with you (after checking with the organisers of course) then you are vouching for them with your account. You would not chose to bring someone along for 'fun' as it would look bad on you, and if they caused problems it is your account on the line.
I don't think bringing a RL long standing partner along is any different to a couple both attending when they only have 1 account. Provided it is all as expected discussed with the munch organiser and your partner is not anyone banned anywhere there should be no problems.
Why should those of us who want to run as singles not couple accounts be treated any differently and not be allowed a partner if we have one at the time? (Especially as there is a charge to switch status each time) Could get expensive if you have a few short term relationships but want to go with your partner...
Unknown User
Quote by tallnhairy

If he was a longstanding RL partner I would still say - hey why not?
However, he is not and the danger is the president that would be set - it's OK to bring along non-members/vanillas for what could end up being a bit of a giggle and to satisfy their curiosity (and I don't mean curiosity about becoming a swinger).

Now maybe you'll see why this is such a dilema for me redface
I have no doubts you would use sensible judgement and not bring an arsehole along - but it does set a president that it is OK to bring along anyone you know(ish) as your partner for the evening. Not all may be as sensible as you.
And before anyone suggests exceptions.... rules need to be rules! You will bring to the surface the biggest can of worms if there are exceptions made.
One thing though Polo, if you bring someone with you (after checking with the organisers of course) then you are vouching for them with your account. You would not chose to bring someone along for 'fun' as it would look bad on you, and if they caused problems it is your account on the line.
I don't think bringing a RL long standing partner along is any different to a couple both attending when they only have 1 account. Provided it is all as expected discussed with the munch organiser and your partner is not anyone banned anywhere there should be no problems.
I had though all of the same things - as I said my initial reaction was - hey why not?
Quote by tallnhairy
Why should those of us who want to run as singles not couple accounts be treated any differently and not be allowed a partner if we have one at the time? (Especially as there is a charge to switch status each time) Could get expensive if you have a few short term relationships but want to go with your partner...

The deciding point for me (which swung my opinion) was that this is not a RL partner - it is a friend who has no interest in the site.
The account status is a different kettle of fish and part of the worm can.
JnBwelshcpl
Sexlightened
Quote by twos_company
:. He has no desire to join a Swingers site, so would it be at all possible for him to attend.
Thanking you's in advance for your input.
A very confused tatty right now :crazy:

if he has no desire to join a swingers site................
why on earth would he want to come to a munch???
Ditto,
dip your toes and have fun.
J n B
Mal
Mod
On this Site, you can bring a long term partner to Munches without them having their own account and I don't think anyone has a problem with that. I know we debated this at some length when deciding the Munch rules, but at the end of the day common sense prevailed and it would be silly to stop a member bringing their long term partner with them, just because they didn't have a membership in their own right. Don't get confused with another Site not so far from here who DO insist on partners also having their own account before they are allowed to attend Munches or socials. Obviously we used up all the common sense when we discussed it! lol
As for bringing someone who isn't a long term partner (forget the membership thingie, as it's irrelevent), to a degree, that would be between you and the Munch organiser and the Site guidelines, but as your guest, you are ultimately responsible for their actions and behaviour and your membership would be on the line if they didn't behave or at the very least you could end up not being able to attend future Munches because of him.
Socials are a different Kettle of Fish anyway, as they are held in open environments, so how can you stop anyone going into a pub, member or longstanding partner or not!!
hope that helps, Tatty :lol:
Mal
wink
Vicky_uk
Sex God
As long as you vouch for him and the organiser agrees then I dont see a problem
Ive had none member partners attend the NW Munch with no problems at all.
However if anything did happen, not saying it will mind, the responsibility will be yours hun
meat2pleaseu
Sex God
Sure if you brought him along he'd be made more than welcome.
one thing that did spring to mind though was the fact he has no interest in swinging but would be be taking up a place that could go to an active member. i can see how it's a tricky thing to decide and if you and the munch organisers decided it was ok they'll get the usual friendly welcome. main thing is that you come cos i'm still bloody waiting for my Tattysnog wink
HornyLittleBlonde
Sex God
I agree with Pololady on this one.
If someone has a single log in, but wishes to bring their long term partner that's fine.
However allowing any member to bring a friend to a munch would be unacceptable to me - especially one who has no interest in swinging.
I'm sure Tatty is sensible enough not to consider bringing a complete idiot along, but as has been said you can't break the rules.
Obviously Tatty's friend knows about her swinging lifesyle, but other people keep it quite secret and by allowing site members to bring a friend to a munch you are actually "outing" about 100 swingers to a vanilla.
Sorry it's a big no no IMO.
Unknown User
Second munch I went to I took a friend (girl) with me and it was not an issue. That was 2 years ago and things may have been different but I took full responsibility for her and it was fine. I do think common sense comes into play here as this is a self regulating community with rules agreed by moderators on behalf of the majority to safe guard everyone. Partners may want to come to things but not be members and I am not sure why that should be a problem? Think it would be a different story if we all just all our mates along for a night out as that would make it a different night all together. My understanding is that would be more of a social where site and non site members can attend? As always would be useful for a moderator to clarify biggrin
Unknown User
My humbled opinion is that nothing really happens at these Munches that could be judged by anyone as anything other than nice friendly folk having a get together etc.... if anything more were to happen it would be back at a hotel or the like so why not let him come along........ who knows it may change his mind when the stereotypical view most vanilla types have of us all is gone!!!
Also the fact he is seeing a known swinger and has no issues sort of makes him a swinger anyway!!! Unless the swinger goal post has moved again lol....
Just a thought.....
Mike xxx
Unknown User
I think 'making' somebody's partner join so that they can come to a Munch is a load of bollox really... just a paperwork/power/popularity exercise - especially if as Darkfire says, they don't post or even log in confused
If they are a long term partner then we should trust one another's judgement and they should be allowed to attend. If they are a short term partner and genuinely interested in the lifestyle, they should be allowed to attend. If they have 'no interest' in the lifestyle then it begs the question, why would they want to attend, regardless of how long they have known somebody? dunno
Just my thoughts... :P
HornyLittleBlonde
Sex God
Quote by Bloke2005
I think 'making' somebody's partner join so that they can come to a Munch is a load of bollox really... just a paperwork/power/popularity exercise - especially if as Darkfire says, they don't post or even log in confused
If they are a long term partner then we should trust one another's judgement and they should be allowed to attend. If they are a short term partner and genuinely interested in the lifestyle, they should be allowed to attend. If they have 'no interest' in the lifestyle then it begs the question, why would they want to attend, regardless of how long they have known somebody? dunno
Just my thoughts... :P

worship
I posted elsewhere not long ago about the "common sense factor" as opposed to petty bureaucracy and got my head bitten off for having the gall to suggest such a thing rolleyes
Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by Bloke2005
I think 'making' somebody's partner join so that they can come to a Munch is a load of bollox really... just a paperwork/power/popularity exercise - especially if as Darkfire says, they don't post or even log in confused
If they are a long term partner then we should trust one another's judgement and they should be allowed to attend. If they are a short term partner and genuinely interested in the lifestyle, they should be allowed to attend. If they have 'no interest' in the lifestyle then it begs the question, why would they want to attend, regardless of how long they have known somebody? dunno
Just my thoughts... :P

Ok so, to clarify - my up-to-now-but potentially-not for-much-longer vanilla partner registering on the site was a paperwork/ power/ popularity exercise, especially as he doesnt log in but usually sits here with me when I'mlogged in and reads/ discusses with me the goings on/ issues/ and stuff that's brought up in threads and cant post because I hog the puter ? ? :?
but he's welcome to come to a munch because he's my long term partner and not a mate who is a bit curious?? and didnt actually need to do the 'oooo if i want to join Dark at some point in the future, I'd better stick me details in the system' thing rolleyes
and you thought I was confused before :shock:
Unknown User
Quote by mdr2000
Also the fact he is seeing a known swinger and has no issues sort of makes him a swinger anyway!!!

I fail to see how having sex with/knowing/seeing in a non-commited way/shagging (what ever way you want to put it) a swinger makes someone else a swinger by that action alone - especially as they have no interest in swinging other than one particular swinger!
Mal
Mod
Quote by Darkfire
I think 'making' somebody's partner join so that they can come to a Munch is a load of bollox really... just a paperwork/power/popularity exercise - especially if as Darkfire says, they don't post or even log in confused
If they are a long term partner then we should trust one another's judgement and they should be allowed to attend. If they are a short term partner and genuinely interested in the lifestyle, they should be allowed to attend. If they have 'no interest' in the lifestyle then it begs the question, why would they want to attend, regardless of how long they have known somebody? dunno
Just my thoughts... :P

Ok so, to clarify - my up-to-now-but potentially-not for-much-longer vanilla partner registering on the site was a paperwork/ power/ popularity exercise, especially as he doesnt log in but usually sits here with me when I'mlogged in and reads/ discusses with me the goings on/ issues/ and stuff that's brought up in threads and cant post because I hog the puter ? ? :?
but he's welcome to come to a munch because he's my long term partner and not a mate who is a bit curious?? and didnt actually need to do the 'oooo if i want to join Dark at some point in the future, I'd better stick me details in the system' thing rolleyes
and you thought I was confused before :shock:
On SH your partner doesn't need to be a member in their own right to attend Munches, that has always been the case. You may be getting confused with another Site which DOES insist on that stupid rule.
Mal
wink