Advice on single guys at clubs

13 Oct 2012

Hello!
I'm sure this has been answered before but couldn't find it in the searches...
I just wanted to know what the opinion/experience is of single guys going along to swingers clubs/nights and any advice to someone going along for the first time!
I'm keen to go along to some of the nights that allow it in London but not sure what to expect as a guy on his own rather than in a couple. It's not like I'll be a creepy guy in the corner, I can talk to pretty much anyone but not sure about etiquette or anything like that smile

Thanks!

13 Oct 2012

If you look on the left hand side of your screen, there is a list of links - somewhere near the bottom there is one called 'advice'.
If you click on that, amongst other things there is an entry about clubs - it might be helpful for you.

13 Oct 2012

It is quite a daunting experience the first time...
(I go to clubs on my own all the time)
I presume you will be alone (as in no mates going with you)...
You won't be the only single guy there so don't fret too much...Maybe have a chat with a cpl of the other single guys there and ask them about the club and how to approach things there...
If your a chatty person then get into conversation with ladies/couples......Shoot the breeze.....Be purely sociable....
Try not to indulge in "naughty" conversation initially (unless they initiate it)
Not sure about London clubs but clubs round here (West Mids) tend to have areas where couples tend to go when they want to meet up with a single guy so keep your eye on those areas for any couples/ladies...
Main thing is not to be too pushy/predatory....
And finally...
Have fun :-)

13 Oct 2012

Quote by Steve
It is quite a daunting experience the first time...
(I go to clubs on my own all the time)
I presume you will be alone (as in no mates going with you)...
You won't be the only single guy there so don't fret too much...Maybe have a chat with a cpl of the other single guys there and ask them about the club and how to approach things there...
If your a chatty person then get into conversation with ladies/couples......Shoot the breeze.....Be purely sociable....
Try not to indulge in "naughty" conversation initially (unless they initiate it)
Not sure about London clubs but clubs round here (West Mids) tend to have areas where couples tend to go when they want to meet up with a single guy so keep your eye on those areas for any couples/ladies...
Main thing is not to be too pushy/predatory....
And finally...
Have fun :-)

As the female half of a couple I'd like to say that from our point of view, this advice is spot on!

13 Oct 2012

We once walked out of a changing room to be greeted by quite an attractive fella, only was soon put off by the comments 'Are you playing now? If not can I play with you later?'. Thats really NOT the thing to do, at leat say hello first rolleyes

Steve's advice is the best :thumbup:

13 Oct 2012

Quote by JustWantFun
It is quite a daunting experience the first time...
(I go to clubs on my own all the time)
I presume you will be alone (as in no mates going with you)...
You won't be the only single guy there so don't fret too much...Maybe have a chat with a cpl of the other single guys there and ask them about the club and how to approach things there...
If your a chatty person then get into conversation with ladies/couples......Shoot the breeze.....Be purely sociable....
Try not to indulge in "naughty" conversation initially (unless they initiate it)
Not sure about London clubs but clubs round here (West Mids) tend to have areas where couples tend to go when they want to meet up with a single guy so keep your eye on those areas for any couples/ladies...
Main thing is not to be too pushy/predatory....
And finally...
Have fun :-)

As the female half of a couple I'd like to say that from our point of view, this advice is spot on!
And I'd second that as a single gal!
I'd also add that if you spot someone you like and go and talk to them, don't then glue yourself to them for hours to come in the hope they're going to start playing and will invite you to join them! Give people a bit of space after an initial chat, and if they like you they will more than likely reinitiate any conversation. Nothing worse than feeling like an antelope surrounded by lions!

13 Oct 2012

London, wouldn't normally just cut and paste from another thread like this, you deserve a personal reply, but only wrote it a fortnight's since and captures some of my thoughts on what NOT to do at least pretty exactly and equally applies here:

If you've never seen the way a lot of single guys in clubs behave, hanging around in packs following every fem or couple who walks by them or trying their luck hammering on doors that have been locked to stop 'em just walking in in the first place, prepare to be somewhat taken aback. Best way to stand out from that particular crowd is simply not to emulate them in any way. Just talk to people same as you'd talk to them anywhere else, see if you click with someone enough for them to wonder if there's a role for you anywhere but don't be disappointed if not. Comes with the territory, occupational hazard, but you might see the same couple again another visit and if they remember you as the relaxed, funny guy they chatted to before moving on last time they might just be more inclined to take a chance on you this time. Sounds obvious doesn't it, almost patronising even me trying to explain all this to another thinking, feeling adult, course you wouldn't dream of any of this loitering in packs, hammering on doors, making other people uncomfortable, completely pissing them off nonsense, but it will make sense when you see just how many guys seem incapable of grasping any of that. Stupid of them, useful to us, little self-selecting group of idiots nicely removing themselves from consideration by their behaviour and increasing the chances in our favour a little. ;)

13 Oct 2012

Thanks for all the advice guys! Definitely makes sense. Good to hear views from other guys, couples and women and that it is all consistent!
I don't think I'd go into a club with the expectation of anything happening the first time I go - more just to get an idea of how things are run and socialise a bit following what you've all said.
Cheers everyone!

2 Nov 2012

All the advice is great and as female half of this couple if we are interested in a guy we make it clear.
However as someone said dont follow the couple around if you chat to them and think its going ok then say something along the lines of " well im here for a couple of hours if you wnat to catch up again later" and that way they get chance to chat and decide what if anything they want to do and then they can find you>
have fun
pp

10 Nov 2012

its no diferent to any social gathering you get out what you put in my advice would be be your self and even swinging women want to be wooed before their rude

12 Nov 2012

Its also worth having a read of this;
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/advice/swingers-clubs.html

22 Nov 2012

Having been to clubs in a couple and as a single guy. I've seen both sides of the grips, one one had I've seen a lady who was part of a couple being rude and slamming doors in the face of various single guys who were watching another couple and a chap who would get the message that the lass I went with wasn't interested... Both these days I/we decided it was time to leave.
Its the way it goes...
Leave clothes at the door? Yes
Leave manners at the door? No!