Advice sought re playing, no really!

21 Jun 2010

Hi All,
I have decided to take a bit of a break from actively meeting people from this site for a while, though as the libidinous creature that I am I don't know how long that will last.
I've read the guidelines and my new rules for myself are as follows to get rid of the timewasters:
1. Don't send pictures, only talk on 'cam' in real time to determine that the person is who they say they are and to stop my photo going out into cyber space so many times, I'm now a lot more 'connected' to the internet than I was before so I can do this now, dongle allowing.
2. I will meet for a social drink first, and nothing will happen that time, then if they are worth my time and if either of us get second thoughts it gives time for that to be thought thrugh and will alleviate any problems such as nerves, second thoughts etc.
3. I will be 'more' explicit in advance of what I want or don't want and if they don't like that or they don't want it they can rugger off.
4. I will be clear in my profle as to what I do and don't expect from those I meet, though I am fairly clear normally, current profile being the exception.
5. I will exchange numbers and expect a call in advance of and on the day of the meet.
NEW RULES FOR AMBER TO BE BETTER:
1. I will not be late (I'm always faffing gettnig ready for a meet and therefore about 80% of the time I'm usually late (sorry).
2. I will ask questions if I have any concerns.
Any other tips?
I'm experienced and I know how to be safe, but I think ta there are other things I could learn, such as not to discuss my new forays into the world of the fetish scene and scare off young people!
Any other thoughts?
Much obliged,
Ax
Oh and I always
Try to give as much notice as possible if I can't make it
Say when I'm not interested

21 Jun 2010

Do you not think your new rules would be much more use on your profile rather than the forum?

21 Jun 2010

Ax
all good points / tips / ideas
only other thing we've started to find useful is the Meeting Invite facility within Shrep
hope you back soon lol

21 Jun 2010

Quote by Lilmiss
Do you not think your new rules would be much more use on your profile rather than the forum?

Nah, no one reads profiles!!

21 Jun 2010

Quote by Funlovers2009
Do you not think your new rules would be much more use on your profile rather than the forum?

Nah, no one reads profiles!!
:haha:

21 Jun 2010

Quote by ambervixen
Hi All,
I have decided to take a bit of a break from actively meeting people from this site for a while, though as the libidinous creature that I am I don't know how long that will last.

If you've just decided to take a break from meeting people, why are you writing rules for arranging meets? dunno

21 Jun 2010

Quote by Dirtygirly
If you've just decided to take a break from meeting people, why are you writing rules for arranging meets?

Ah, good, I'm glad it wasn't just me.... :-?
We all know rules are made to be broken anyway.. lol

21 Jun 2010

Its all about what you want really and of course what people looking at you would want. We would fall at stage one of your new rules. Work or have the kids all day and when they have gone to bed at night 8pm we sit down and relax, cant be arsed to get back up for cam action. So I guess you can please yourself but you cant please everyone, but then did we not all know that already lol

21 Jun 2010

You are a young, attractive single female. Therefore you shouldn't have to make rules for yourself, you make them up for other people to abide by. If they don't then you brush them off straight away.
It might sound harsh, but it's no diffent to job applications when you break it down. If a company wants you to fill the application form in with black ink and block capitals, you have to do it to pass the first sift. If you apply in blue ink, your shredded straight away, no matter how good your prospects might be. Apply the same rules to other people wanted to apply for you lol
I've ammended a few of your rules to how I would have them below.

Quote by ambervixen
1. Don't send pictures, only talk on 'cam' in real time to determine that the person is who they say they are and to stop my photo going out into cyber space so many times, I'm now a lot more 'connected' to the internet than I was before so I can do this now, dongle allowing.

People must send me a face pic straight away. If they don't or come up with some lame promise to send one later then they are binned. The only photo's of me are on my profile, no others will be sent. If I like the photo I will ask them to come on cam, if I am still interested then I will come on cam too.

Quote by ambervixen
3. I will be 'more' explicit in advance of what I want or don't want and if they don't like that or they don't want it they can rugger off.

I will find out what they want first, if I don't like it I will kick them into touch. This will prevent me from opening up to the wrong person.

Quote by ambervixen
5. I will exchange numbers and expect a call in advance of and on the day of the meet.

I will exchange numbers only after I am completely satisfied that all other conditions have been met. I expect a call in advance of and on the day of the meet.

Quote by ambervixen
1. I will not be late (I'm always faffing gettnig ready for a meet and therefore about 80% of the time I'm usually late (sorry).

I am a woman. It is my right to be late and every man will understand this fact. Especially when I have spent the time preparing to blow their mind!

Quote by ambervixen
2. I will ask questions if I have any concerns.

If I have concerns, I will call the police!

21 Jun 2010

Quote by Dirtygirly
Hi All,
I have decided to take a bit of a break from actively meeting people from this site for a while, though as the libidinous creature that I am I don't know how long that will last.

If you've just decided to take a break from meeting people, why are you writing rules for arranging meets? dunno

Especially as, on another thread, Amber has stated that she's 'outta here' on the 26th :dunno:

21 Jun 2010

Quote by Trevaunance
You are a young, attractive single female. Therefore you shouldn't have to make rules for yourself, you make them up for other people to abide by. If they don't then you brush them off straight away.

Sorry to snip, but I just wanted to comment on this point: I don't see how being a young, attractive single female has anything to do with this!
Everyone on here should have rules for themselves and, just because of age, gender or perceived attractiveness, should not expect to be exempt. Let me explain what I mean: if I don't have rules that govern my own behaviour, then how can I expect others to have rules that govern theirs?
If anything, I think having rules by which I conduct my swinging is almost more important than having rules for others. I am in charge of me, and I can rely on me. Therefore having my own rules means that I can largely (although there are always exceptional circumstances) plan/predict what happens in a meet.
I would not expect others to follow my rules just because I thought I was young, single or attractive.
I suppose what I am saying is that I am an advocate of everyone having a certain code by which they conduct their swinging, but I certainly don't think gender, marital status or perceived attractiveness makes anyone's rules more valid than another's.

21 Jun 2010

Quote by noladreams
You are a young, attractive single female. Therefore you shouldn't have to make rules for yourself, you make them up for other people to abide by. If they don't then you brush them off straight away.

Sorry to snip, but I just wanted to comment on this point: I don't see how being a young, attractive single female has anything to do with this!
Everyone on here should have rules for themselves and, just because of age, gender or perceived attractiveness, should not expect to be exempt. Let me explain what I mean: if I don't have rules that govern my own behaviour, then how can I expect others to have rules that govern theirs?
If anything, I think having rules by which I conduct my swinging is almost more important than having rules for others. I am in charge of me, and I can rely on me. Therefore having my own rules means that I can largely (although there are always exceptional circumstances) plan/predict what happens in a meet.
I would not expect others to follow my rules just because I thought I was young, single or attractive.
I suppose what I am saying is that I am an advocate of everyone having a certain code by which they conduct their swinging, but I certainly don't think gender, marital status or perceived attractiveness makes anyone's rules more valid than another's.
worship

Couldn't have said that any better! :thumbup:

21 Jun 2010

Quote by BIoke
We all know rules are made to be broken anyway..

I have one rule, which is unbreakable. Everything else are guidelines

21 Jun 2010

I was asking for advice and ideas, I am taking a leave of absence, but I don't want to 'leave', there was a thread that said that in 'anger', I'm looking for advice and tips, please? I was getting disappointed, I'm not alone, I was wondering where might be going wrong, these are rules for Amber, not rules for general playing!
I had a regular lover from the site over tonight and he also get's random emails, pointless things... I'm just trying to see where I might improve, where I might get better at this.
The gist of this is that despite writing a detailed profile and going through what I think are respectful and discretionary / friendly routes, i.e. trying to respond to all emails, trying to be safe, I still make mistakes.
I try to be polite, and I know that we all get time wasters, and I'm trying to cut them out.
Just because I'm single and bi and 'attractive' thank you by the way, doesn't mean that I can't make mistakes or learn how to go about the whole thing in a better manner?
Amnber

21 Jun 2010

Quote by Freckledbird
Hi All,
I have decided to take a bit of a break from actively meeting people from this site for a while, though as the libidinous creature that I am I don't know how long that will last.

If you've just decided to take a break from meeting people, why are you writing rules for arranging meets? dunno

Because it's a break, not a 'I never want to meet someone' I'm asking for help??
Guidance and ideas...
Especially as, on another thread, Amber has stated that she's 'outta here' on the 26th :dunno:

21 Jun 2010

Sorry if you misinterpreted my post btw - I think it is positive you have set yourself some rules/parameters whatever you want to call them!
I've been on the site a few years now and I've had good meets and bad. I've met some truly amazing folk and some not so. It's like life really. :lol2: I attract my fair share of odd ones in 'real life' too!
Sorting out in your own mind what you want is key, then being prepared to actively seek it out and/or be patient is the next bit.
Well, it worked for me anyway!
Have fun whatever you do.
:rose:

21 Jun 2010

Not at all,
All part of the learning, you can't proscribe!
They are my paramaters and mine alone, but I guess the first bit was how to go about a sesnsible way of meeting people, it's a common thread amongst friends of mine, how do you do the 'spontaneous' WOW this is hot meet, and how do you 'cultivate' something more...
The answer is, you can't, it's pot luck, it's chemistry and that something random we can't put our finger(s) on.
Also, Amber is very direct / bossy when she is not intending to be! Amber is learning smile

xx

21 Jun 2010

Quote by noladreams
You are a young, attractive single female. Therefore you shouldn't have to make rules for yourself, you make them up for other people to abide by. If they don't then you brush them off straight away.

Sorry to snip, but I just wanted to comment on this point: I don't see how being a young, attractive single female has anything to do with this!
Everyone on here should have rules for themselves and, just because of age, gender or perceived attractiveness, should not expect to be exempt. Let me explain what I mean: if I don't have rules that govern my own behaviour, then how can I expect others to have rules that govern theirs?
I would not expect others to follow my rules just because I thought I was young, single or attractive.
Firstly I meant what I said. She is a young attractive and single female. If she was a fat old hairy fool like me it wouldn't change my advice. She should have her own rules and stick by them, not allow others to sway her if she isn't comfortable.
Amber might be 6 tonne, have a very long grey nose, two big pointy teeth and four very large cankles for all I care. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that. But as I read her first post she was looking for advice on cutting down on timewasters and therefore I have given advice that has worked for us.
Ugly pig or Miss England the advice is still the same, but from my perspective a bit of positive re-enforcement for Amber is not a bad thing. If you don't agree with my description of her then that is totally up to you as it's your perspective.
Finally you seem to have misunderstood the context of my written prose. By looking at what she wants, only asking for that and sticking to her own rules on other people can she actually get what she wants, namely 'to get rid of the timewasters'.
Why waste time on something you don't want?

22 Jun 2010

Quote by ambervixen
Also, Amber is very direct / bossy when she is not intending to be! Amber is learning
xx

Some people like that sort of thing Amber lol

22 Jun 2010

Quote by ambervixen
Also, Amber is very direct / bossy when she is not intending to be! Amber is learning
xx

I love it when people talk about their alter-ego, 'character' or persona in the third person... all very 'Silence of the Lambs'!
"It rubs the lotion into the skin to make the skin soft....." lol

22 Jun 2010

Quote by BIoke
Also, Amber is very direct / bossy when she is not intending to be! Amber is learning
xx

I love it when people talk about their alter-ego, 'character' or persona in the third person... all very 'Silence of the Lambs'!
"It rubs the lotion into the skin to make the skin soft....." lol

I think he was telling the woman in the hole to rub the lotion in. He used the word 'it' to dehumanize her, thus making it easier to kill her.
In WWI Germans where called 'The Hun'
Others have been know as 'The Target'
Many have been called 'sub-human'
It is an old trick,

23 Jun 2010

Quote by Trevaunance
You are a young, attractive single female. Therefore you shouldn't have to make rules for yourself, you make them up for other people to abide by. If they don't then you brush them off straight away.

Sorry to snip, but I just wanted to comment on this point: I don't see how being a young, attractive single female has anything to do with this!
Everyone on here should have rules for themselves and, just because of age, gender or perceived attractiveness, should not expect to be exempt. Let me explain what I mean: if I don't have rules that govern my own behaviour, then how can I expect others to have rules that govern theirs?
I would not expect others to follow my rules just because I thought I was young, single or attractive.
Firstly I meant what I said. She is a young attractive and single female. If she was a fat old hairy fool like me it wouldn't change my advice. She should have her own rules and stick by them, not allow others to sway her if she isn't comfortable.
Amber might be 6 tonne, have a very long grey nose, two big pointy teeth and four very large cankles for all I care. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that. But as I read her first post she was looking for advice on cutting down on timewasters and therefore I have given advice that has worked for us.
Ugly pig or Miss England the advice is still the same, but from my perspective a bit of positive re-enforcement for Amber is not a bad thing. If you don't agree with my description of her then that is totally up to you as it's your perspective.
Finally you seem to have misunderstood the context of my written prose. By looking at what she wants, only asking for that and sticking to her own rules on other people can she actually get what she wants, namely 'to get rid of the timewasters'.
Why waste time on something you don't want?