hey im the guy from our couple now were both eager to try swinging but id like to know if other guys had some difficulty seeing their partners with other guys cos though im eager im am concerned that i may not be too calm etc dont get me wrong im looking forward to it but id just like to hear some other experiences to get my head around it
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advise pls
Quote by peterboroughcouple
hey im the guy from our couple now were both eager to try swinging but id like to know if other guys had some difficulty seeing their partners with other guys cos though im eager im am concerned that i may not be too calm etc dont get me wrong im looking forward to it but id just like to hear some other experiences to get my head around it
Although I haven't done it myself, I have thought long and hard
about it. If you find it a turn on to see her with another guy, then try to imagine what you would feel if she made sounds she's never done before, or how you would feel after it was all over. Would you be worried you didn't perform as well? Or that she might want to do it again purely because of this man? Jealousy, insecurity, paranoia and envy can be the worst things to feel. You have to give it some serious in depth thought as to how you'd feel and what could happen afterwards. A casual fantasy is sometimes far from the reality.Good luck whatever you do
Sex God
Quote by peterboroughcouple
hey im the guy from our couple now were both eager to try swinging but id like to know if other guys had some difficulty seeing their partners with other guys cos though im eager im am concerned that i may not be too calm etc dont get me wrong im looking forward to it but id just like to hear some other experiences to get my head around it
My advice would be to simply not contemplate swinging with anyone til you have got your head round it. Sometimes the fantasy of swinging is very different from the reality, so until you are very sure you can handle the reality it isn't fair on anyone to actually arrange a meet. Having had experiences where it is clear that one partner is not happy, I know that it can often end in disaster. I'm assuming that you're talking about jealousy?
Sex God
Quote by peterboroughcouple
im pretty secure about her wanting me more thats not a problem ;) i dont wana sound masoganistic but i guess its more a terertory thing i think ill start with a female in the group and work my way up ;)
So, to clarify, you're saying that you have a problem with guys touching your partner cos she is your "territory", yet you are fine with touching other women? But won't your partner feel the same sort of "territory" jealousy if you do?
Ooooh, you're treading on dangerous ground here :?
I'm full of swinging anecdotes, but here's one for you to think about:
I used to swing with a couple who only looked for bi fems cos the male partner openly admitted that he simply could not tolerate the thought of her swinging with a guy. All well and good, except that although she was bi and was happy with playing with fems while he watched or joined in, the relationship hit the rocks cos she ended up unhappy with the situation. He ended up trying to see me on my own, even though she wasn't aware of this (I never went through with it btw) and she ended up cheating on him with one of his friends :uhoh:
The point is, unless there is very open and honest communication that is continued even after you start swinging, doubts, regrets, and wanting "revenge" start to dominate.
Swinging is not always easy you know!
Quote by peterboroughcouple
hey im the guy from our couple now were both eager to try swinging but id like to know if other guys had some difficulty seeing their partners with other guys cos though im eager im am concerned that i may not be too calm etc dont get me wrong im looking forward to it but id just like to hear some other experiences to get my head around it
Is your girlfriend/ wife bisexual? Have you talked about this with her?
hmm youve got the jist but not the straight line of it. il try to put it another way though the whole idea of swinging does turn me on however i am uncertain as to how il take it the first time so im just curious to know wether other guys have felt the same. as for the female option well its a softer start i guess :P
Sex God
Quote by peterboroughcouple
hey im the guy from our couple now were both eager to try swinging but id like to know if other guys had some difficulty seeing their partners with other guys cos though im eager im am concerned that i may not be too calm etc dont get me wrong im looking forward to it but id just like to hear some other experiences to get my head around it
:smackbottom: :smackbottom: Sex God
Quote by peterboroughcouple
hmm youve got the jist but not the straight line of it. il try to put it another way though the whole idea of swinging does turn me on however i am uncertain as to how il take it the first time so im just curious to know wether other guys have felt the same. as for the female option well its a softer start i guess :P
I may be nit-picking now, but why do you think that starting with females is the softer option? It may be more appealing to you, but is that equally appealing to your partner? Even if she is bi she may have the same feelings of jealousy at seeing you with another woman. Have you talked to her about this?
In all honesty, probably none of us knew exactly how we would react to swinging the first time... and the second.... and the third.... etc etc etc.......... Even relatively experienced swingers encounter situations in which they experience emotions during or after a scene that they did not expect and have to deal with.
We are new to this also and have laid down set rules . Anne is keen to explore her bi side however at present she feels uncomfortable with any involvement from me with any other woman. :shock:
I have accepted that as i have been more involved in this than her and tbh the thought of watching her (which she wants) is appealing in she wants to move it further then we will adress then
We have spent a great deal of time talking and being patient and after what seems months of talking she has decided the time is nigh (after we sort one or two upcoming social events)
I was lucky that circumstances were right that i didn't seem to pressure her into an early intro as i bel;ieve it could have been too soon and may have had an opposite effect.
Make sure you both want it to happen and then there can be no repurcussions and feelings of cohersion and pressure.
If it went bottoms up for us at least we will say Well mwe both wanted to try it but no recriminations
I have accepted that as i have been more involved in this than her and tbh the thought of watching her (which she wants) is appealing in she wants to move it further then we will adress then
We have spent a great deal of time talking and being patient and after what seems months of talking she has decided the time is nigh (after we sort one or two upcoming social events)
I was lucky that circumstances were right that i didn't seem to pressure her into an early intro as i bel;ieve it could have been too soon and may have had an opposite effect.
Make sure you both want it to happen and then there can be no repurcussions and feelings of cohersion and pressure.
If it went bottoms up for us at least we will say Well mwe both wanted to try it but no recriminations
