Age differences..is there a difference??

18 Nov 2007

Don't want to upset or pre judge anybody, but we've noticed that within this wonderful swinging community there are a lot of relationships where one partner is 10 or more years older than the other (or ten years younger, depending how you look at it!).
Could this be because the older partner is 'in charge' of the relationship and driving the agenda or the younger one is simply too demanding for their more mature counterpart?? biggrin

:D :D
What do other members think? Would esp love to hear from couples in such relationships and how they've overcome their own insecurities (if they had any!) and the prejudices of others smile

18 Nov 2007

age?
no problem...
lp

18 Nov 2007

Could be just that they met, then clicked.
Age is only a number.

18 Nov 2007

Possibly it's because you actually know their age. If you meet a couple and the conversation doesn't get round to age, they could be quite a few years either way without you knowing. Because you look at profiles and people have their age written on there you are aware of it.
Just a thought.
H.x

18 Nov 2007

its probably just the women fibbing about their age..... rolleyes

19 Nov 2007

Quote by H-x
Possibly it's because you actually know their age. If you meet a couple and the conversation doesn't get round to age, they could be quite a few years either way without you knowing. Because you look at profiles and people have their age written on there you are aware of it.
Just a thought.
H.x

:thumbup:
saves me typing biggrin

19 Nov 2007

Quote by Gingerchox
Don't want to upset or pre judge anybody, but we've noticed that within this wonderful swinging community there are a lot of relationships where one partner is 10 or more years older than the other (or ten years younger, depending how you look at it!).
Could this be because the older partner is 'in charge' of the relationship and driving the agenda or the younger one is simply too demanding for their more mature counterpart?? :D :D
What do other members think? Would esp love to hear from couples in such relationships and how they've overcome their own insecurities (if they had any!) and the prejudices of others

there is 19 years between me and the mrs.....did age have anything to do with me fancying mrs cream ..hell no....she was this attractive person that walked into the garage i was on night shift at...i said to myself fooking hell she's nice.... over the months i got to no her better..and better.... but thats another story... we ended up working at the same place but that had alot to do with me wanting to work there because she worked there, weeks became months and we were still talking...i fancied the ass of her ....but thought right or wrong the age gap would play a big part.....and the age gap did play a part.......mrs cream wasn't sure how other ppl would think.....i tried to tell her if ppl liked you they would accept us as a cpl but seeing that was easier than trying to explian it to her........i always knew the age gap would be a problem but i wasn't gonna let it spoil my chances of getting with her....age to me was but a number(something you'll probs hear alot in this thread)ppl were funny with us...mainly her friends and her family...my family(sons being her age) didn't see a problem..they were happy cos there dad was happy....it's been a long road that i sometimes thought do i want to travel.....and the answer has always been yes...i love mrs cream to bits always have always will.....not becuase of her age but because off who she is... and here we are 3 years on and still together and still happy would i change anything....would i fook.

19 Nov 2007

I think on the face of it age difference is something that I would definately notice at the outset.
My brother moved in with a woman at 18 who was 20 years his senior at 38 my mother was 44. It was a shock for her and my dad and took some getting used to as they were not then the 'A' typical sort of in-laws they were probably expecting to be.
They finally split up after 16 years. Children/age were an issue. I believe that age is an issue and something to take into account but by no should it hinder a couple.
You point re-who initialises swinging or rather couples. I would think there are too many variables. We fell into swinging a hard way and so far have been lucky that we both ebjoy it fully. I would say that the initial idea or rather the moving on from the idea to the 'actual' was mine. I'm seven years older than Mrs Lost. physically that is lol

mentally i'm still back behind the bike-sheds. wink

19 Nov 2007

deleted

I waffled an went into a tangient!!

19 Nov 2007

Quote by anais
deleted I waffled an went into a tangient!!

I often do that anais, but put it down to my age :lol:
vert

19 Nov 2007

Just a thought ...
those of you with big age differences, how do you deal with ...
your partner's friends being a lot older/younger crowd? Do you feel you can socialise with them as you would your own friends?
your partner's interests being a different generation - going out/music/hobbies etc ?
what if your younger partner wants kids and yours are already grown up and you don't want any more? (and vice versa)
Not being argumentative, just asking. wink

All but one of my exes have been younger than me but the biggest age gap was only 8 years so I never felt like I was out of touch with the young 'uns, so to speak. (im)Maturity was an issue with one but that could have been the case with someone my own age.
The thing with my age now (34) is that if I met someone of similar or older, they probably would already have kids, whereas I'd like more so I can see that being a problem. With a younger partner they'd probably want kids too BUT could they cope with the child I've already got? confused

Do you sacrifice your wants and desires for the person you love? Does love really conquer all? I'd be gutted to give up my hopes and desires for a relationship that might end once my child-bearing days are over, ya know? :?

19 Nov 2007

Quote by flower411
Don't want to upset or pre judge anybody, but we've noticed that within this wonderful swinging community there are a lot of relationships where one partner is 10 or more years older than the other (or ten years younger, depending how you look at it!).
Could this be because the older partner is 'in charge' of the relationship and driving the agenda or the younger one is simply too demanding for their more mature counterpart?? :D :D
What do other members think? Would esp love to hear from couples in such relationships and how they've overcome their own insecurities (if they had any!) and the prejudices of others

Are you two together because neither of you could "pull" a younger one ??
...or an older one!
Jeesus, the thread wasn't intended to upset or offend anyone, purely a discussion point about folks who have experience involving large age gap relationships.
As someone posted earlier, in 'real' life we dont know peoples ages as a matter of routine, but here peoples ages are listed, so this information is upfront and impersonal.

19 Nov 2007

There is a big age gap betweeen me and dek (23 years) in day to day life it bothers neither of us nor our families/friends, it did at first we both got things like "cant you find someone your own age" "your to young to settle down" etc... but to us it wasnt the age it was the person we fell in love with and now they understand that to and will fight anyone to the ground who dares question that. If i had thought to much about age when we met i would have missed out on more than 5 years of happy times. we have our arguements like any other couple none of them are age related

Quote by Marya_Northeast
those of you with big age differences, how do you deal with ...
your partner's friends being a lot older/younger crowd? Do you feel you can socialise with them as you would your own friends? its never been a problem we both have always got on well with each others freinds regardless of age
your partner's interests being a different generation - going out/music/hobbies etc ? Even couples of around the same age have completely different hobbies, likes and dislikes etc age makes no difference to that
what if your younger partner wants kids and yours are already grown up and you don't want any more? (and vice versa) Dek doesnt want more kids but i do its just something that gets postponed and worked round again its not really any different that same age couples one wanting a child and the other one not

his zimmer frame dont get in the way to much though when he needs a stair lift think i'll trade for younger model :giggle:

19 Nov 2007

I can see where your coming from..
Mrs mdr is a year older than me and is a major driving force in this lifestle..
Without her constant badgering and pushiness it would fall flat on its face for sure..
She makes me sit here till all hours, insists on decent fellas to go with all these gorgeous women, oh not to mention making sure I don't show her up when we do meet someone... Your so right, I should have got myself someone my own age I agree but after 27 years now I think I might just keep her a bit longer..
Just a thought though.. do all these couples get together then to swing or get together then swing?
Age pahhhh Who cares!! lol

:lol:
Mike x

19 Nov 2007

My G/F and I have about the same age gap as Creampie123 and we became friends because of that.
I do feel a bit uneasy about going out with my gf sometimes but she doesn't give a toss and if anyone were to say anything then I'm sure she would have something much much more to say back.
There is a bit of prejudice on this site altho ppl don't want to admit it, about ages hence why ppl have specific ages groups they meet and not above that, we usually find that the ppl my age don't want to meet us cos of her being so young and the ppl her age don't want to meet us cos of me being a pensioner wink

.
Give you an example....... a couple who are both 45 meet anyone from 21 to 40 (19 years) but dont meet anyone 19 years the other way?? 59???? lol

I wonder if the other couples with the same age gap i.e creams and dekntan have the same problem??
My G/F knew my age when I met her we have the same hobbies ,the same taste in music and we train daily every day together altho she can't take it cos I'm fitter than her :lol: and we have been together nine years and stil going strong

19 Nov 2007

I think an age difference of 10 -20ish years is not an issue these days as we are fitter and healthier and a lot of people take pride in their bodies. If someone looks attractive to you then you will see the person and not the age.
Would I go out with someone who is in their 80's……NO. If I was 80 would I go out with someone in their 20's….. NO. There has to be a balance

19 Nov 2007

There is 19 years age difference between me and Tim...and it doesn't matter at all!!
I have always gotten along with older people and so have always had older friends...it doesn't matter to me or to Tim...

19 Nov 2007

Quote by woohoo

Give you an example....... a couple who are both 45 meet anyone from 21 to 40 (19 years) but dont meet anyone 19 years the other way?? 59????
I wonder if the other couples with the same age gap i.e creams and dekntan have the same problem??

We often find that i am to young or dek is to old quite a lot of couple/fems have an max age of 40-45 which counts dek out or want people over 30 which counts me out :doh: does get annoying but its their preference at end of the day

19 Nov 2007

Quote by dekntan
its their preference at end of the day

Exactly tan its their preference and it should not be confused with prejudice wink

well spotted.
Now if only more people had preferences rather than prejudices, what a nicer world we would live in. lol

19 Nov 2007

coming from a slightly different angle, if I may, my mum found a new partner some years after my dad died unexpectedly. This was after 4 years alone, which I know she hated....he is 19 years her junior, and younger my eldest sister.
The thing is.....none of us (my sisters and I) can't stand him, and to us the age gap seems way too wide, but I dont know if thats cos hes younger, maybe if he was 19 years older (well that would make him 80 :shock:, so er maybe not), but you get where Im coming from??
Or maybe its because its our mum that the age gap matters so much.......I wonder how I would feel if it was one of my sisters or myself with a partenr with such an age gap, dunno

I am very confused on how I feel about this issue, because, of course its the love you feel for a person that matters, but on the other hand.......
ooooooohhhh now Im even more mixed up....help!!!

19 Nov 2007

maybe its nothing to do with age at all and you wouldnt have been able to stand him if he was with your mam or not, he just might be one of those people you would never have got on with.
Earthy xxx

19 Nov 2007

Hes like caroline Ahernes character Mrs Mertons son Malcolm...or Dave off the Royle family :shock:

19 Nov 2007

Ask yourself if he's a twat, or if he's just young. Has he actually done anything to make you all dislike him- or is it just his age?
The main thing is- does he make your mum happy?
kiss

19 Nov 2007

thanks for the kiss Winchy... in answer to your post
all of the above
and its for the last reason that I have perfected a stick on smile and a civil tongue for whenever I see him lol

:lol:

19 Nov 2007

Quote by varca
I mean that people of all ages can feel of a certain age. Me I feel like I am 25, my ex now says he felt more like 60 when he was 51 when we split. So what is boils down to is whether you both, as personalities tick, does not matter what age you are as long as you are both straight with each other and don't just go along with the other for the sake of it. Never be anyone other than who you really are.
I've waffled, I know Hope what I said makes sense

Yup makes perfect sence to me, i have dated men my own age i was just way to mature in my own head for them not anyones fault just the way it was. met someone older in dek (5 years from a one night stand) :shock: not the perfect relationship but it works for us :thumbup:

28 Aug 2008

I guess age can be a sticking point, and there is like 10 years between Sam and I. But equally, Sam likes older guys. I'm not in charge of what goes on, we both make the decisions, and in fact the last meet we had with a couple of guys from here had a way bigger age gap. Sam likes older men... 64 is the eldest so far... And if anything, it make me feel less threatened... Ha.

28 Aug 2008

i've never really thought about it before to be honest, theres couple with big age gaps in all walks of life not just swinging, i just think people get together with people they like and what age they are is just what they are, if that makes any sense? lol
I personally think most guys given the choice will go for younger women, i know my body was better when i was 18 than it is now lol and a lot of younger people like the experience of older so maybe its a mixture of that dunno

28 Aug 2008

my partner is 14 yrs younger than me, which at first worried me a little bit but we have so much in common and clicked straight away, he seems older than 25 to me and is a lovely guy, is it the stuff of a long term relationship, who knows, it may become a problem later if he wants a family given my age, but for now we are just enjoying each other and being together without stressing over ifs and buts and maybes
Earthy xxx
in edit: its slightly annoying the odd time he reminds me he was still falling off his bike when i was marrying my ex - git!

29 Aug 2008

Jeez Sparky, slow down there! You only get a bucket and a half, you know!

30 Aug 2008

It's from Peter Kay's Max & Paddy, where the older man is warning the younger stud that his supply of ... ummm... ejaculate ran out after he'd used up about a bucket and a half's worth lol