Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login

Alternative Valentine Rhymes

last reply
20 replies
1.3k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Unknown User
An idea following on from Boney's rudey rhymes.. how about altnerative valentine woo me's?
You said to me, "Be mine, be mine!"
I sighed and melted in your arms
You said, "To me, you are divine!"
I succumbed to your manly charms...
Now all I wanted was a shag
(no romance... yes, I know I'm shallow)
But as I then began to gag
And wondered, should I spit or swallow...
The windows fogged, my zipper broke,
The gearstick dug into my spine,
Your pulsing rhythm made me choke
As you groaned "You're my Valentine!"
(When I look back, I blame the wine.)
rotflmao
Any more???
Unknown User
I love you I love you I love almighty
I wish your undies were next to my nighty
Dont be mistaken, dont be misled
I meant on the washing line and not in the bed
Unknown User
I was about to send this little ditty today, written in a card to someone I refer to as "Git"
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue
You may be a Git
But you're not a bad screw!
But I got interrupted between doing the address & the inside of the card......and forgot :doh:
Unknown User
this is for my wee mate goldilocks....she knows who she is wink
Goldilocks, it's known, had lots of guys
And Pinnochio's one, I do surmise
She'd sit on his face
Stick his nose in that place
Then make the poor puppet tell lies!
Unknown User
Quote by winchwench
I was about to send this little ditty today, written in a card to someone I refer to as "CLIT"
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue
You may be a Git
But you're not a bad screw!

aaw shucks redface thanks babe xxxx
:smitten:
Unknown User
roses are red
violets are twisted
bend over love
you're gonna get fisted
Roses are red
Nuts are brown
Skirts are up
And pants are down
So when it's stiff
Stick it in
God never said
Sex was a sin
Unknown User
Quote by Bonedigger
roses are red
violets are twisted
bend over love
you're gonna get fisted
Roses are red
Nuts are brown
Skirts are up
And pants are down
So when it's stiff
Stick it in
God never said
Sex was a sin

Blummin heck Boney, are you sitting on them?? :lol2:
Unknown User
Roses are red
Cabbages are green
Now open my legs
and fill me with cream
dorkandwindy
Sexlightened
fannys are sweet
bums very pretty
one hole wrong
gets very shitty
swing_fun_cpl
Casanova
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
You're my valentine,
So I want to f*ck you!
redface
Russell
swing_fun_cpl
Casanova
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
If you were my partner,
I'd screw your ass too!
redface
Russell
swing_fun_cpl
Casanova
Mrs Bonedigger's red,
Coz her posts are blue.
But if I saw her arse
I would give it a screw.
redface
Russell
swing_fun_cpl
Casanova
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I am in love
And my girl loves me too.
It is really quite sweet,
Coz I love her so much.
And the best thing about her
Is the way she doth touch.
For her fingers caress
And her lips are so sweet.
If she had a nice profile
I'm sure we would meet.
But I've already met her -
She's a diamond you see
And her love is a force
That has set my heart free.
I will love her forever
At least so I pray
Coz she makes my life complete
And we grow every day!
I love you my baby... Mrs Swing rocks!
Russell
jivedancer
Warming the Bed
Roses are red
Violets are Pluckable
Frankly I find you
Rather Fuckable !
Unknown User
Chicken is chicken
duck is duck
I sucked yer boaby
now lets just fuck
redface
Unknown User
Love is sweet
Love is devine
Heartbeats a jumping
Will you be mine
Lust s good
Lust is horny
Wanna shag
trying not to be corny
Taste of your juices
Sweet smell of you sex
Wrap yourself up now
And asap to me by Fedex
It's early lol....way too early
:giggle:
Unknown User
Excellant posts!... but what's a 'boaby'???
(disclaimer: joke above, poor winchy hasn't screwed me... more's the pity :rascal: )
Unknown User
Quote by jaymar
Excellant posts!... but what's a 'boaby'???
(disclaimer: joke above, poor winchy hasn't screwed me... more's the pity :rascal: )

So that's why you send me drinks of facebook! You're trying to have your wicked way with me, aint ya? :shock:
You little minx you ! lol
Unknown User
welcome to dumpsville.
population YOU! lol
Unknown User
Oh my god, the caravans rocking
Whats going on is something shocking
Dont be mistaken, dont be mislead
Its only 2 little boys fight in bed
lol :lol: :lol:
Unknown User
Quote by jaymar
Excellant posts!... but what's a 'boaby'???
(disclaimer: joke above, poor winchy hasn't screwed me... more's the pity :rascal: )

a boaby lol scots word for erm..........manhood.......willy..penis lol
( good take on mrs galloways boabie lol)
worth a listen and giggle lol :lol: :lol: