An appeal........

24 May 2007

.... on behalf of the Countess Laptop Fund (or CLF for short).
Meet Countess, a 30-*cough* year old woman, who has recently become a chat-op widow.
She has barely managed for years with minimal use of a computer, but recent events (*him* becoming a chat-op :dry: ) mean that even the occasional computer use she enjoyed has now dried up.
We are asking for just two goldfish a month to help her gain access to the internet and this forum again. This will help her to develop both posting and tarting boots and will hopefully get her back into the SH society where she belongs (either that or a mental health ward after living with *him* lol

).
The head of a goldfish will pay for 30 mins of net connection, so please, please look deep into you hearts (and your pockets :lol: ) and give what you can.
Donations should be sent to....
Countess
c/o
3rd cubical from the door,
Piccadilly Train Station
Manchester.
England.
Net connection should be a right not a privilege and with your help we can right this horrid injustice. :giveup:

24 May 2007

Don't give up! Hang on in there!
Ain't got no gold fish just at the mo' (some fella called Warwick cornered the market a while ago - I understand he's a multi-millionaire now rolleyes

) but I have a large piece of soul for you - will that help?
kiss

24 May 2007

ohh Countess kiss

......I went past a fufair earlier today (although I was lost at the time! confused

) but if I find said funfair again :shock: I'll go and see if I can bribe (for bribe see flash a bit of leg) the funfairmaster or whatever he's called :lol2: and get you some goldfish....:lol2:
and if that doesn't work I'm sure st3v3 can be easily bribed :lol2:
:kiss:

24 May 2007

Countess? you is havin' a feckin' giraffe aintcha? confused

i'm still turfing me bedroom upside down, trying to find the motherboard he sent me?
if you're telling me he's forsaken hardware probs, and is even now cloning into his own chatroom just so he can kick himself out, well, i have to say, booting yaself from chat is roughly equivalent to masturbation?
i know we've all done it it, but hey, WTF? i'll be having words! rolleyes

n x x x ;)

24 May 2007

Ooooh I saw Easy had gone all purple cool

8-) 8-)
Bluddy good one :bounce:
Apart from the little problem that our dear Countess now has enforced restrictions due to "the line of duty" confused

We need goldfish and fast!! How about a big breeding programme to get the required amount of goldfish?
Trouble is, not sure how long the incubation time is for a fish dunno

sure it's a long time tho :?
On the other hand, rabbits breed like, well like rabbits :? but aren't quite in the same league as goldfish in the currency market :undecided:
So to speed this reproduction process up a bit, to get our Countess her own SH lappy, may I suggest a new breeding program? :smug:

Admittedly, not exactly pedigree :uhoh: but with the speed of reproduction, it might just work and we can have our Countess back online loads once more! :happy:

24 May 2007

*tuts*
missy?
admit it?
you drew them ears in yaself, didn't you?
you think we're daft or summat?
rolleyes

n x x x ;)

24 May 2007

Quote by neilinleeds
*tuts*
missy?
admit it?
you drew them ears in yaself, didn't you?
you think we're daft or summat?

n x x x ;)

Ya daft sod Neil :roll:
You can't draw on a fish, it washes off! :roll: So I sellotaped some paper ears to my goldfish as an example - a prototype if you like :smug:

25 May 2007

Simple answer........ lol

Countess
You come down here and use Mal's, he never uses it very much! :lol:

25 May 2007

Quote by Sarah
Simple answer........
Countess
You come down here and use Mal's, he never uses it very much! :lol:

aaaaaaaaa how do you use a goldfish?

25 May 2007

Hmmm well I got the OnlyChild two goldfish just last night and I'm not sure we're ready to part with them just yet as they are still a novelty.
However, i am prepared to sacrifice a bag of cat litter to see Easy banned from chatrooms i use.
He says I have to be niceto him ffs! And he whispered me without asking!

25 May 2007

Quote by Marya_Northeast
Hmmm well I got the OnlyChild two goldfish just last night and I'm not sure we're ready to part with them just yet as they are still a novelty.
However, i am prepared to sacrifice a bag of cat litter to see Easy banned from chatrooms i use.
He says I have to be nice to him ffs! And he whispered me without asking!

That's cos you're a flan and everyone whispers ya. :P lol

25 May 2007

More Easy chest perving silly

hwoar:
oops sorry countess, that's not helping you is it? redface

pink x

25 May 2007

Quote by easy
Hmmm well I got the OnlyChild two goldfish just last night and I'm not sure we're ready to part with them just yet as they are still a novelty.
However, i am prepared to sacrifice a bag of cat litter to see Easy banned from chatrooms i use.
He says I have to be nice to him ffs! And he whispered me without asking!

That's cos you're a flan and everyone whispers ya. :P lol

Ban them all!!!
Countess, I'm willing to go and buy goldfish - and they ain't cheap ya know - each! - if you remove easy's webcam so i don't have to stand the glare of his baldy head any longer!

25 May 2007

Easy has become a Chatop????
Blimey, he drops to his knees with no hesitation, if there is a promise in it for him
Another person for me to avoid and not talk to then....

25 May 2007

Quote by Missy
*tuts*
missy?
admit it?
you drew them ears in yaself, didn't you?
you think we're daft or summat?

n x x x ;)

Ya daft sod Neil :roll:
You can't draw on a fish, it washes off! :roll: So I sellotaped some paper ears to my goldfish as an example - a prototype if you like :smug:
rotflmao

I can't think of anything to add I'm laughing too much!
Countess, no goldfish but ...... we have rope (and chains :rascal smile

! you could tie easy to the kitchen sink and get your fix that way!!!!!
Cx

25 May 2007

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
It's great that we still get new classic threads!
Wonderful!
Absolutely fine! (or should I say fin)
bolt

25 May 2007

Quote by Marya_Northeast
Ban them all!!!

easier to ban the source of the trouble which would beeeeee....... errrrr.....
YOU! rotflmao

Quote by Marya_Northeast
Countess, I'm willing to go and buy goldfish - and they ain't cheap ya know - each! - if you remove easy's webcam so i don't have to stand the glare of his baldy head any longer!

Admit it Marya.... you want me don't you? I've seen the look of lust in your eyes as you view my webcam. :smitten:
Well tough. :rude: I'm not that type of bloke (well-hung, pretty or under 30). lol

25 May 2007

she only wants you Easy, cos her security lights broke and she wants you standing outside so the light shines off your bald head and scares away the bad folks rolleyes

woo

25 May 2007

Quote by Countess
.... on behalf of the Countess Laptop Fund (or CLF for short).
Meet Countess, a 30-*cough* year old woman, who has recently become a chat-op widow.
She has barely managed for years with minimal use of a computer, but recent events (*him* becoming a chat-op :dry: ) mean that even the occasional computer use she enjoyed has now dried up.
We are asking for just two goldfish a month to help her gain access to the internet and this forum again. This will help her to develop both posting and tarting boots and will hopefully get her back into the SH society where she belongs (either that or a mental health ward after living with *him* ).
The head of a goldfish will pay for 30 mins of net connection, so please, please look deep into you hearts (and your pockets :lol: ) and give what you can.
Donations should be sent to....
Countess
c/o
3rd cubical from the door,
Piccadilly Train Station
Manchester.
England.
Net connection should be a right not a privilege and with your help we can right this horrid injustice. :giveup:

you better send the rspca out 2 rescue the goldfish i posted this afternoon.........pmsl

25 May 2007

dar dar dup, dar dar dar
Breaking News just in.....
We are receiving reports from a number of sauces, namely Tom Atoe, Barber Que and May O'Naze.
According to reports there has been a global crash in the value of goldfish. It would appear that some people have started to suck up all available fish.
some quarters have been slapping their gills at the expected gobble in the value of their goldfish, and have already started battering the little fellas.
This has resulted in the arse end of the market falling out which is flooding the market with fake fish.
Examples have been seen of desperate individuals faking genetically enhanced versions of goldfish in a pitiful attempt to stave off the fall in value, with one particularly pathetic attempt to sick paper ears on a goldfish to make it appear to resemble a very aquatic breed of goldbunnyfish!!
This is a totally absurd notion, everyone knows that goldbunnyfish have to be bread using evo-stick!
Also in a related report.....
All is not what it appears to be within the inner thighs of the CLF.
Apparently reports of the 'so called' male half of the ensemble has been enlarging his own member-ship status. He is believed to regularly buff his own 'ego' as he calls it.
A reliable eye witnesses has seen very dubious goings on on live internet cameras on disgusting perverted websites while wearing a Tanktop!!
The inappropriate authorities have been notified and have requested that anyone observing such events should take detailed notes and, as extremely hard as it will be, they must attempt to refrain from pissing themselves laughing, for the sake of those in the lower cages.
Sleep tight and remember don't have nightmares....
Reported by A Richard Head.

26 May 2007

Quote by Morbius
This has resulted in the arse end of the market falling out which is flooding the market with fake fish.
<<< back to the studio >>>

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Thank you Dick(I always wanted to be an anchor man)
Whoever heard of flooding the market with fish - fake or otherwise. What a ridiculous proposition!
Fer a start there'd be a hosepipe ban in force with immediate effect.
Have you got a hosepipe ban? Have you?
No! See I'm right!
<<<< Choon continues to cut out fake ears for Missy's fake fish >>>>>
.