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and god created the north

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Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him on the seventh day resting. He
enquired of God, "Where have you been?" God pointed downwards through
the clouds.
Look Michael, look what I've made" said God.
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call
it Earth and its going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth, "For
example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South
America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot
and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white
people and over there is a continent of black people."
God continued, pointing to the different countries. "This one will be
extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land
and asked, "What's that?" "Ah," said God. "That's the north of England,
the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, seven great
cities in Yorkshire alone, and many impressive towns; it is the home of the world's
finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians.
The people from North England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and
they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable,
hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the
world as speakers of truth."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed,"What about
balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied very wisely, "Wait till you see the set of wankers I'm putting
down South!!"
______________________________
cos yer worth it lol
Nice one, Butt da yerfink thu,ll gerrit? He also balanced it with another bunch of tossers in scotland( BUT HAVE YER SEEN THE SIZE OF THEIR CABERS)lol u
I dunno if to aggree with you or not. If i do(which i so want to) I'll get shouted at by everyone from outside the North of england, even though people from Manchester try and think of themselves as Northern!, and if i disagree then I'll be acting treason upon my faithful Northern Land!
Oh to hell with it
That was fantastic and hilarious lol. :P lol :lol: :lol: biggrin
Quote by ukhiker2004
even though people from Manchester try and think of themselves as Northern!,

we ARE northern!!!!!!!!!!! rolleyes
depends what your comparing it to. London I suppose so. But from me? about 2.5 hours South!
nothing against people from Manchester or Leeds, anyone along that sorta line of England. I quite enjoy down there.
Quote by well_busty_babe
even though people from Manchester try and think of themselves as Northern!,

we ARE northern!!!!!!!!!!! rolleyes
Last time I checked we were in the NORTHwest confused
As far as southerners are concerned anything north of Watford is the north. I love the sign on the M1 The North like it's uncharted territory. lol :lol:
Quote by easy
Last time I checked we were in the NORTHwest confused

yeah.. the "western" part of the north! rolleyes
Quote by well_busty_babe
Last time I checked we were in the NORTHwest confused

yeah.. the "western" part of the north! rolleyes
Was actually supporting your argument, not going against you. smile redface
what i find really annoying is on one ITV weather report they have two maps one for scotland that goes down to Glasgow and the othe rmap that goes as far north as Manchester! Its so annoying does everyone class the bit in tmiddle as no mans land!!!!
I live their and the best people in the country live there!! so why exclude it? Probably londoners are jelous!
Quote by well_busty_babe
errrr.............. i knew that!
thanks easy! lol

I knew you did hun. I was just making sure everyone else did as well. wink biggrin
Marya wrote:
THE NORTH!!!!!

So good they named it after me... lol
Mike.
Judging by the first post it looks like the northerners have got all the boring bits. Wanking's much more fun!
Spoken as a true southerner - where is the north anyway???
spoking as an exiled cockney who bolted for the glorious north years ago.. it is the little things that you appriate, like people smiling at you.... and say hello without scowled at! and being able to have a good night out with spending a fortune.....
sean xxxxxxxxxx
still trying to work out the seven great cities in yorkshire though...... confused :? :? :? lol
How dare anyone suggest northerners (Yorkshire men and women), are on an equal footing with those from the North West? Many families on both sides lost their lives in the war of the roses, just to prove they were each different, and proud of it.
Here endeth the first lesson from a Midlander, chapeter 2, verse vi.
Quote by fabio grooverider
still trying to work out the seven great cities in yorkshire though...... confused :? :? :? lol

I'm still trying to think of one!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
Quote by fabio grooverider
still trying to work out the seven great cities in yorkshire though...... confused :? :? :? lol

Sheffield is built on seven hills - does that count
YorkHullLeedsBradfordWakefieldSheffieldBeverley
oh sarge jealousy's a terrible thing you know?
coming from the premier city in god's own count(r)y, t'is good to hear that thus spake god to his angels! and my opinion of soft southern types is endorsed by holy scripture! :P ;-)
neil x x x x
Have just found this thread and laughed so much!! Yes I know I'm in Norwich but I'm a Geordie.
I correspond with a wonderful gentleman I met on Adultfriendfinder - a brilliant writer - from Suffolk. (It's down south somewhere - trust me you don't have to worry about it.) I have described to him my visits to La Chambre and Partners. His replies (please understand he is tongue-in-cheek. I think.) :
"Sheffield! Oh my dear, how very very brave of you! And those accents!"
"It was brave of you to go to Manchester, for whatever reason. Still, Manchester is I suppose where you’d expect to find a sex club. I seem to have heard about a club in Dunstable, but that’s absurd."
Quote by MikeNorth
YorkHullLeedsBradfordWakefieldSheffieldBeverley

All deservedly in the smallest print possible !!! lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
and who's this Beverly Woman??? Was she at the NW Munch?? :shock: :shock:

Quote by Neilinleeds
oh sarge jealousy's a terrible thing you know?

I know Neil, but if you want some help to be cured of it, let me know!!!! wink :lol: :lol:
Quote by Sgt Bilko

still trying to work out the seven great cities in yorkshire though...... confused :? :? :? lol

I'm still trying to think of one!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
Well there's ........
And there is ......
Not forgetting .......
Shit, ok I can't name one
Dave_Notts
I was in Beverley at the weekend (never been up north though)
seriously i love Yorkshire and go as often as possible lol
YORK!!!!!!
The true capital of England!!!
Well it used to be anyway.
So where does the north start and the south end.
Quote by machoman12
So where does the north start and the south end.

The North starts at the most northern tip of Scotland and the South ends roughly on the South Coast. Hope that helps!! lol :lol: :lol: :lol:
i have the best of both worlds
im a northerner liveing down south
:shock:
Quote by machoman12
So where does the north start and the south end.

The North starts from the moment you have to turn over the page of the road atlas, and the South ends at a point somewhere between Erinsborough, Australia, and New Zealand's North Island.
The North ends by the way, at the boarder between Canada and America, and that tells you something about Northerners!!
"Who took a wife, who rear'd his race,
Whose wrinkles gather'd on his face,
Whose troubles number with his days :
Lord Tennyson (Northerners Prayer)