I've just been hit by a massive wave of apathy. It happened will I was half way through typing a reply to an advert.
I'd done the usual search. Found an ad that interested me. Checked the profile made sure I fitted the bill and began to type. Then it hit me. Why should I bother doing this? It wasn't as if I would get a reply. Why spend time composing a witty but informative piece about myself, which in all likelyhood wouldn't even be opened. I stopped typing and came here for some advice.
Is this apathy normal?
Is it something I should worry about?
Has it happened to someone else and how did they cope?
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You definitely won't get a reply if you never send her/them a message.
I'm a lazy arse, I usually tend to post an advert and wait for people to reply to me.
But it's not only single males that don't get replies. I've been blanked a few times. I'm sure couples must experience it too.
People are busy, sometimes inundated, sometimes fantasists and there are probably a whole host of others reasons why people don't reply.
Either send the PM in the hope that they will like it and reply, or don't send it. Your choice.
<--- So you know I'm being opinionated and not moody.
I'm a lazy arse, I usually tend to post an advert and wait for people to reply to me.
But it's not only single males that don't get replies. I've been blanked a few times. I'm sure couples must experience it too.
People are busy, sometimes inundated, sometimes fantasists and there are probably a whole host of others reasons why people don't reply.
Either send the PM in the hope that they will like it and reply, or don't send it. Your choice.
<--- So you know I'm being opinionated and not moody. How could you not get replies with a chest like that? :inlove:
Don't give up keeno, we need your wit and charm here and if people don't reply to your mail then that's their problem not yours. I know some people get a lot of mail and may feel uncomfortable when replying in the negative, but perhaps we could have the very irritating wink replaced with a charmingly worded wink that says "thank you for your reply to my/our ad but regrettably at this time blah blah" At least then there wouldn't be an excuse for not replying.
Don't give up keeno, we need your wit and charm here and if people don't reply to your mail then that's their problem not yours. I know some people get a lot of mail and may feel uncomfortable when replying in the negative, but perhaps we could have the very irritating wink replaced with a charmingly worded wink that says "thank you for your reply to my/our ad but regrettably at this time blah blah" At least then there wouldn't be an excuse for not replying.
Sex God
Quote by keeno
I've just been hit by a massive wave of apathy. It happened will I was half way through typing a reply to an advert.
I'd done the usual search. Found an ad that interested me. Checked the profile made sure I fitted the bill and began to type. Then it hit me. Why should I bother doing this? It wasn't as if I would get a reply. Why spend time composing a witty but informative piece about myself, which in all likelyhood wouldn't even be opened. I stopped typing and came here for some advice.
Is this apathy normal?
Is it something I should worry about?
Has it happened to someone else and how did they cope?
What made you think you wouldn't get a reply, if you'd checked first that you were what they sought?
I've not done that so can't comment, but I wouldn't think it happens very often - from some of the posts on here, I reckon most people just do the 'reply and be damned' thing!
Go do it again, if you think you're what they are looking for.
We answer ads that interest us in the hope that we may interest them too. Sometimes we get replies, sometimes not. When I set up mine and Dai's joint account we trawled through the ads and mailed about 7 ladies, not one reply! You begin to wonder what's wrong with you, is the profile ok, are the photos up to scratch?
We all get that so you're not alone hunni :therethere:
I say send the mail anyway. If they don't reply, it's their loss! They've missed out on what could have been a very enjoyable meet. I wouldn't worry about it hun.
We all get that so you're not alone hunni :therethere:
I say send the mail anyway. If they don't reply, it's their loss! They've missed out on what could have been a very enjoyable meet. I wouldn't worry about it hun.
Quote by Freckledbird
I've just been hit by a massive wave of apathy. It happened will I was half way through typing a reply to an advert.
I'd done the usual search. Found an ad that interested me. Checked the profile made sure I fitted the bill and began to type. Then it hit me. Why should I bother doing this? It wasn't as if I would get a reply. Why spend time composing a witty but informative piece about myself, which in all likelyhood wouldn't even be opened. I stopped typing and came here for some advice.
Is this apathy normal?
Is it something I should worry about?
Has it happened to someone else and how did they cope?
What made you think you wouldn't get a reply, if you'd checked first that you were what they sought?
I've not done that so can't comment, but I wouldn't think it happens very often - from some of the posts on here, I reckon most people just do the 'reply and be damned' thing!
Go do it again, if you think you're what they are looking for.
I always check and never send a mail if I'm not what they looking for and to date only had 2 no thanks the rest blanked me. Am I bothered Am I heck it's there loss, seen many couples talk about genuine guys not turning up maybe now that my profile is actually readable thanks to admins fiddling people might see that I can type
Sex God
Quote by seasider
As a single male who doesn't look like Brad Pitt, I now think it is a waste of time replying to adverts - just too much competition!!
Well they wont come to you....
Only other way is to chat to people and get to know them ....
I think the best advice we can give Keeno is to take some time to write a really good reply out that states everything you would like people to know about yourself and what you are looking for or are prepared to do etc, and copy and paste it to people that seem to be on your wavelength. This may seem a tad lazy, but to be honest it does save a heck of a lot of typing as we have discovered we find there is a "Rule of Numbers" when replying to adverts.
This is just our opinion but we think it goes a little something like this...... For every 20 adds you reply to, 10 may not reply back to you (either because they are not full members or they dont like what you have said, 5 - 7 others will, but will possibly want something more/less than you are looking for or be timewasters, 3 will be genuine and on your wavelength but after chatting for a while on msn etc, you might only really find you "click" with one of them!
That seems to be what we have found anyway Keeno so maybe write a good reply out, then save it in your sent box and copy and paste.
Just a suggestion!!
This is just our opinion but we think it goes a little something like this...... For every 20 adds you reply to, 10 may not reply back to you (either because they are not full members or they dont like what you have said, 5 - 7 others will, but will possibly want something more/less than you are looking for or be timewasters, 3 will be genuine and on your wavelength but after chatting for a while on msn etc, you might only really find you "click" with one of them!
That seems to be what we have found anyway Keeno so maybe write a good reply out, then save it in your sent box and copy and paste.
Just a suggestion!!
Quote by keeno
I've just been hit by a massive wave of apathy. It happened will I was half way through typing a reply to an advert.
I'd done the usual search. Found an ad that interested me. Checked the profile made sure I fitted the bill and began to type. Then it hit me. Why should I bother doing this? It wasn't as if I would get a reply. Why spend time composing a witty but informative piece about myself, which in all likelyhood wouldn't even be opened. I stopped typing and came here for some advice.
Is this apathy normal?
Is it something I should worry about?
Has it happened to someone else and how did they cope?
Quote by Srne
I think the best advice we can give Keeno is to take some time to write a really good reply out that states everything you would like people to know about yourself and what you are looking for or are prepared to do etc, and copy and paste it to people that seem to be on your wavelength. This may seem a tad lazy, but to be honest it does save a heck of a lot of typing as we have discovered we find there is a "Rule of Numbers" when replying to adverts.
This is just our opinion but we think it goes a little something like this...... For every 20 adds you reply to, 10 may not reply back to you (either because they are not full members or they dont like what you have said, 5 - 7 others will, but will possibly want something more/less than you are looking for or be timewasters, 3 will be genuine and on your wavelength but after chatting for a while on msn etc, you might only really find you "click" with one of them!
That seems to be what we have found anyway Keeno so maybe write a good reply out, then save it in your sent box and copy and paste.
Just a suggestion!!
I've just been hit by a massive wave of apathy. It happened will I was half way through typing a reply to an advert.
I'd done the usual search. Found an ad that interested me. Checked the profile made sure I fitted the bill and began to type. Then it hit me. Why should I bother doing this? It wasn't as if I would get a reply. Why spend time composing a witty but informative piece about myself, which in all likelyhood wouldn't even be opened. I stopped typing and came here for some advice.
Is this apathy normal?
Is it something I should worry about?
Has it happened to someone else and how did they cope?
single guys dont get that many replies even a no thanks sadly
Sex God
Quote by Ukwineman
single guys dont get that many replies even a no thanks sadly
Tis true....
Unfortuntely the amount of replies an ad generates sometimes makes it impossible to reply to every pm you get...
Its not ignorance (well not on our part anyway) its just a matter of not having enough time to respond..
Quote by Ukwineman
I think the best advice we can give Keeno is to take some time to write a really good reply out that states everything you would like people to know about yourself and what you are looking for or are prepared to do etc, and copy and paste it to people that seem to be on your wavelength. This may seem a tad lazy, but to be honest it does save a heck of a lot of typing as we have discovered we find there is a "Rule of Numbers" when replying to adverts.
This is just our opinion but we think it goes a little something like this...... For every 20 adds you reply to, 10 may not reply back to you (either because they are not full members or they dont like what you have said, 5 - 7 others will, but will possibly want something more/less than you are looking for or be timewasters, 3 will be genuine and on your wavelength but after chatting for a while on msn etc, you might only really find you "click" with one of them!
That seems to be what we have found anyway Keeno so maybe write a good reply out, then save it in your sent box and copy and paste.
Just a suggestion!!
I've just been hit by a massive wave of apathy. It happened will I was half way through typing a reply to an advert.
I'd done the usual search. Found an ad that interested me. Checked the profile made sure I fitted the bill and began to type. Then it hit me. Why should I bother doing this? It wasn't as if I would get a reply. Why spend time composing a witty but informative piece about myself, which in all likelyhood wouldn't even be opened. I stopped typing and came here for some advice.
Is this apathy normal?
Is it something I should worry about?
Has it happened to someone else and how did they cope?
single guys dont get that many replies even a no thanks sadly
We always reply if an add if well written and looks like a little time has been spent on it, even if it is a polite no thanks.
If somebody has sent the usual, "ur add looks nice an ur missus is fit can i cum on her face" sort of rubbish (yes we do get them)
we dont bother or i send them a strongly worded and excellently written PM informing them that their teenage fantasies wont be fulfilled by using language reminiscent of a Neanderthal 
Sex God
we norm let them build up a bit
till we get time for a meet
then reply to mail ....
norm 1 might turn up........
but we have to make the best of what time we have to spare
not got time to meet one at a time....meet 2 or 3 for a game of pool or something see if we hit it off..that way the scruffy unwashed no personality guys(only 1 really bad one if we try and count) get diluted with the nice friendly genuine peeps off this site....
sorry...
till we get time for a meet
then reply to mail ....
norm 1 might turn up........
but we have to make the best of what time we have to spare
not got time to meet one at a time....meet 2 or 3 for a game of pool or something see if we hit it off..that way the scruffy unwashed no personality guys(only 1 really bad one if we try and count) get diluted with the nice friendly genuine peeps off this site....
sorry...
Sex God
Quote by seasider
As a single male who doesn't look like Brad Pitt, I now think it is a waste of time replying to adverts - just too much competition!!
I myself look like Sad Gitt seasider mate but I do keep on trying.
I think most of us have something to offer and can appeal to someone, its just you finding them and them finding you!
I have re-written my profile only today.I don't expect instant results, I'd don't mind if it takes a while to get to the stage of actually meeting anybody, I know it CAN be done eventually as I've done it in the past but lord knows it ain't easy and I think it is such a big step to take, to go from PMs and phone calls to meeting to maybe playing and feeling free to totally enjoy it actually takes courage on all sides.
We are all brave enough to be here in the first place so thats a start!
Quote by seasider
As a single male who doesn't look like Brad Pitt, I now think it is a waste of time replying to adverts - just too much competition!!
Sounds a bit hard on yourself.. after all you are the competition to the others too... Like the lottery someone has to win and you have to be in it to win it..
You will fit someones requirements..
Good luck..
Mike
Quote by keeno
I've just been hit by a massive wave of apathy. It happened will I was half way through typing a reply to an advert.
I'd done the usual search. Found an ad that interested me. Checked the profile made sure I fitted the bill and began to type. Then it hit me. Why should I bother doing this? It wasn't as if I would get a reply. Why spend time composing a witty but informative piece about myself, which in all likelyhood wouldn't even be opened. I stopped typing and came here for some advice.
Is this apathy normal?
Is it something I should worry about?
Has it happened to someone else and how did they cope?
As I said in previous reply..
Keep trying as you are the competition to others.. only the tryers win.. surely!
If win is the right word..
Mike
Quote by keeno
I've just been hit by a massive wave of apathy. It happened will I was half way through typing a reply to an advert....
I can understand! I had been here two or three months, made a few contacts but all - with one notable exception - had drifted away, never had a reply to my ad, just wondered why I was bothering, so I stopped paying my sub and went elsewhere!
Then a thread on the forum attracted my attention, and I signed up again to be able to participate, have already exchanged messages with two people, and others are pending ... it seems to be all go this time ... and I wasn't expecting it !
:rascal:
ops: Sex God
Quote by keeno
I think the dispiriting part is not the lack of replies it is the number of replies tat I post that don't get opened.
Either post or don't then - just don't go on about it!
If they ignore you there's sod all you can do so why worry?
Sex God
Quote by flower411
Not sure why this has turned into a "slag off Keeno" thread
I don't think it has Flower. He's agreed with what DD said and other than that he's not had any different advice/comments than the forum would give anyone who comes in commenting that they don't get replies. :dunno:
I`ve been trying to think about how to word a reply and have thought of loads of other things to say ....and then I looked at your profile. :shock:
I hadn't looked until I read this post of yours, either.
You`ve mentioned that people don`t open the mail you send. I often check out someones profile before opening mail. It avoids getting the follow up two minutes after you`ve read it, asking what you think !!
I look after I've read the mail usually. If you have extras membership though, you can see who's looked. People have sent me PMs asking if I'm interested because I've read their profile. So it makes no difference really whether you read the mail or the profile first, if they are so inclined!
On checking out your profile I come across the lyrics of a pretty miserable looking song and I`m afraid this would put me off and I would probably not open your message.
I must admit I am often put off by song lryics in profiles and this may be the case with others.
They are a bit miserable, I agree.
Just my opinion, but it might be an idea to put something a bit more upbeat
Agree again :thumbup:
Sex God
Quote by keeno
So, are you saying people check out your profile before opening a PM?
Some do, yes - Flower's just said he does.
