anti adulterer feelings on sh

21 Dec 2009

for me the answer is quite simple ... we have access to a profile which (if they are telling the truth) says if they are attached in some way .. and also we get to chatting, sometimes for quite a while before a meet is considered, and inconsistencies in what they say or just a feeling in that they are attached comes out in conversation. in a club environment not much chat, if any, goes on and there is no profile to go off so no way of checking before you play if they are attached. some i do know ask each person if they are with someone but this is rare.

21 Dec 2009

Quote by Ste_n_Kez
Firstly how does â€œsingleâ€ equate to man and wife?
Surly swinging is all about mutual consent of all involved. We will not get involved with married men or women who play behind their partners back. Who needs an irate partner banging on your door and the possibility of being named in a divorce court.
Maybe the reason why the subject does not arise in clubs is because there is no trail of setting up a meet before hand, and when you leave the club all you take with you is the thrill of night as you disappear into the darkness.
There are lots of people on SH with lots of varying values, so Iâ€™m sure the irritation is created and suffered by those who care to ignore the preferences we each choose when swinging.

totally agree with this one .......

21 Dec 2009

It's not an irrationality
Its not about ethics or hypocrisy!!!
When you go to a club you don't want to deal with anyone's personal background
All you want to do is share an erotic side of your personality with another human being...
Its a place where you suspend your morals & prejudgment of others & seek your own fulfillment.
If you want to be all self righteous & request background checks on anyone who dares to invade your personal moral space then go join a political party & run for Prime Minister!! :jagsatwork:
Sorry... my little brother has scoffed the last o me sugar puffs - I'm a tad on edge today! redface

21 Dec 2009

Quote by Sara_2006
for me the answer is quite simple ... we have access to a profile which (if they are telling the truth) says if they are attached in some way .. and also we get to chatting, sometimes for quite a while before a meet is considered, and inconsistencies in what they say or just a feeling in that they are attached comes out in conversation. in a club environment not much chat, if any, goes on and there is no profile to go off so no way of checking before you play if they are attached. some i do know ask each person if they are with someone but this is rare.

yeah wat she says wink

21 Dec 2009

I couldn't care less if someone is married or attached or not.
I do mind if I know both parties and I won't go behind someone's back. Yeah- may be double standards but if I don't know them then I am not aware of the circumstances of their partner's infidelity and I am not the one that has made the vows of fidelity or whatever to them.
I do mind if they don't tell me when I ask and I won't have sex with them.
If I was in a club situation I couldn't imagine asking.
Some of the best sex I have had has been with married men who haven't told their partners. Normally their sex life is flagging and they are appreciative of the attention from me and will actually do more than just 'stick it in and out'.
I know that probably doesn't sit too well with some people either.
Basically I don't make decisions for other people. I make a decision about the people I am fucking and the people in my life that need to know about it.
I have made commitments to worlass and I stick to them. (I have to say at this point that I don't know what Worlass's views are about this so please don't flame her by proxy)

21 Dec 2009

Quote by brucie
i find it funny how so many couples on here insist they wont play with "single" men who play without wife's knowledge or consent (rarely hear anything about unfaithful women) but have never heard of that subject being broached in any clubs?
is it another one of sh's irrationalities?

its not sh irrationalities as you would find it anywhere in most places even a night club or on any internet site
both men and women play sometimes without there partners knowledge
getting proof of single status in clubs/night clubs, pubs it would be hard to do so,
so mostley we never ask
all we have to go on is what they stated in there profiles on internet sites and in time they would get found out if they was telling the truth or not

21 Dec 2009

Quote by Kaznkev
I couldn't care less if someone is married or attached or not.
I do mind if I know both parties and I won't go behind someone's back. Yeah- may be double standards but if I don't know them then I am not aware of the circumstances of their partner's infidelity and I am not the one that has made the vows of fidelity or whatever to them.
I do mind if they don't tell me when I ask and I won't have sex with them.
If I was in a club situation I couldn't imagine asking.
Some of the best sex I have had has been with married men who haven't told their partners. Normally their sex life is flagging and they are appreciative of the attention from me and will actually do more than just 'stick it in and out'.
I know that probably doesn't sit too well with some people either.
Basically I don't make decisions for other people. I make a decision about the people I am fucking and the people in my life that need to know about it.
I have made commitments to worlass and I stick to them. (I have to say at this point that I don't know what Worlass's views are about this so please don't flame her by proxy)

this is basicaly the conclusion i have been reaching,but splendid as norma said it better :smile:
:shock: Splendids name is Norma?!?!
anyway worship

to Splens post

21 Dec 2009

Quote by Ste_n_Kez
Firstly how does â€œsingleâ€ equate to man and wife?
Surly swinging is all about mutual consent of all involved. We will not get involved with married men or women who play behind their partners back.

Apparantly there are some couples who have agreed that they can meet alone with the full and total consent of their partner, and would be happy to confirm this should they be asked.
So, married people playing alone may not always be doing so behind their partner's backs.

21 Dec 2009

I couldn't care less if someone is married or attached or not.
I do mind if I know both parties and I won't go behind someone's back. Yeah- may be double standards but if I don't know them then I am not aware of the circumstances of their partner's infidelity and I am not the one that has made the vows of fidelity or whatever to them.
If I was in a club situation I couldn't imagine asking.
Some of the best sex I have had has been with married men who haven't told their partners.
Basically I don't make decisions for other people. I make a decision about the people I am fucking and the people in my life that need to know about it.
That about sums it up 4 me. :thumbup:
xx--xx

21 Dec 2009

My wife has on occasions, and will in the future, played without me, with my blessing so I suppose this could happen the other way around also

21 Dec 2009

We don't play with single guys in clubs.
We don't meet single guys in hotels.
We only meet single guys at their own home and no where else.

21 Dec 2009

Well of course this is directed against single men as usual. Presumably cheating wives or single women are treated in a completely different light. Or at least this is conveniently unaddressed when swingers declare their moralities.
I think its fair enough for people to have their own moralities but its unfortunate that in declaring them they seem to come with hypocrisies, illogicalities and contradictions.
A swinging couple may not cheat on each other but they are doing adultery. So why do they feel they need to point out other people's behaviour. Do they think its immoral?
Conventional thought does not see any difference between swinging and adultery. How can swingers present a coherent argument?
There seems to be this vision of a spouse or couple coming to a hellish and destructive end, due to infidelity. Actually that's not a forgone conclusion. many couples survive infidelity with little or no damage. Their relationship is worth more than a fling. in a lot of cases the partner is aware of their spouse's infidelities and chooses to ignore them.
It seems that it might be swingers who could actually suffer the worst in the event of an 'infidelity', and the culture against such things is a self protecting karma.

21 Dec 2009

It's the single ones I have all the trouble with... give me a married one anyday :rascal:
Actually, that's not strictly true but it's late and being articulate is beyond me - I shall ponder and respond properly in the morning.
wink

22 Dec 2009

Quote by noladreams
It's the single ones I have all the trouble with... give me a married one anyday :rascal:
Actually, that's not strictly true but it's late and being articulate is beyond me - I shall ponder and respond properly in the morning.

Married one here............don't ponder it and respond properly..........let me dream awhile :happy:
Dave_Notts

22 Dec 2009

Quote by Ms_Whips
Stuff that makes sense

I'll go with what Whips said :thumbup:

22 Dec 2009

Quote by duncanlondon
Well of course this is directed against single men as usual. Presumably cheating wives or single women are treated in a completely different light. Or at least this is conveniently unaddressed when swingers declare their moralities.
I think its fair enough for people to have their own moralities but its unfortunate that in declaring them they seem to come with hypocrisies, illogicalities and contradictions.
A swinging couple may not cheat on each other but they are doing adultery. So why do they feel they need to point out other people's behaviour. Do they think its immoral?
Conventional thought does not see any difference between swinging and adultery. How can swingers present a coherent argument?
There seems to be this vision of a spouse or couple coming to a hellish and destructive end, due to infidelity. Actually that's not a forgone conclusion. many couples survive infidelity with little or no damage. Their relationship is worth more than a fling. in a lot of cases the partner is aware of their spouse's infidelities and chooses to ignore them.
It seems that it might be swingers who could actually suffer the worst in the event of an 'infidelity', and the culture against such things is a self protecting karma.

Adultery? More like nonmonogamy if both spouses give consent, well unless your reading from a bible that is, but thatâ€™s the problem, people cheating donâ€™t have consent/agreement from their spouse.
Adultery is like the act of sex itself, itâ€™s all about consent, it will never be a crime unless one has cause for complaint, just like will never be if consent is given by all.
Another thing to note, is that Adultery in itself only covers heterosexual sex, so a married couple playing with a bi female for girly fun will never be regarded as adulterers, the same goes for same sex marriages, adultery doesnâ€™t exist, even under divorce laws, its merely regarded as unreasonable behaviour.
NOT directed at anyone, simply because we're not here to judge, each to their own, theres something for everyone on here.
MERRY XMAS ALL XX

22 Dec 2009

Quote by risky-n-frisky
Well of course this is directed against single men as usual. Presumably cheating wives or single women are treated in a completely different light. Or at least this is conveniently unaddressed when swingers declare their moralities.
I think its fair enough for people to have their own moralities but its unfortunate that in declaring them they seem to come with hypocrisies, illogicalities and contradictions.
A swinging couple may not cheat on each other but they are doing adultery. So why do they feel they need to point out other people's behaviour. Do they think its immoral?
Conventional thought does not see any difference between swinging and adultery. How can swingers present a coherent argument?
There seems to be this vision of a spouse or couple coming to a hellish and destructive end, due to infidelity. Actually that's not a forgone conclusion. many couples survive infidelity with little or no damage. Their relationship is worth more than a fling. in a lot of cases the partner is aware of their spouse's infidelities and chooses to ignore them.
It seems that it might be swingers who could actually suffer the worst in the event of an 'infidelity', and the culture against such things is a self protecting karma.

Adultery? More like nonmonogamy if both spouses give consent, well unless your reading from a bible that is, but thatâ€™s the problem, people cheating donâ€™t have consent/agreement from their spouse.
Adultery is like the act of sex itself, itâ€™s all about consent, it will never be a crime unless one has cause for complaint, just like will never be if consent is given by all.
Another thing to note, is that Adultery in itself only covers heterosexual sex, so a married couple playing with a bi female for girly fun will never be regarded as adulterers, the same goes for same sex marriages, adultery doesnâ€™t exist, even under divorce laws, its merely regarded as unreasonable behaviour.
NOT directed at anyone, simply because we're not here to judge, each to their own, theres something for everyone on here.
MERRY XMAS ALL XX
You are quite right about adultery being invoked if one partner sees it as unreasonable behaviour, usually as a leverage in divorce cases. Are you sure about adultery only applying to hetero marriages? I thought the civil act introduced those same values in the same usage.
But as far as cheating goes it seems an unlikely request to expect cheaters to be honest about what they do. They cheat, that's how they get off. Therefore the onus is on the couple to find out if their new partner is being honest. I think its often a decision made with their own prejudice. But that's just how the cookie crumbles.

22 Dec 2009

Quote by duncanlondon
Well of course this is directed against single men as usual. Presumably cheating wives or single women are treated in a completely different light. Or at least this is conveniently unaddressed when swingers declare their moralities.
I think its fair enough for people to have their own moralities but its unfortunate that in declaring them they seem to come with hypocrisies, illogicalities and contradictions.
A swinging couple may not cheat on each other but they are doing adultery. So why do they feel they need to point out other people's behaviour. Do they think its immoral?
Conventional thought does not see any difference between swinging and adultery. How can swingers present a coherent argument?
There seems to be this vision of a spouse or couple coming to a hellish and destructive end, due to infidelity. Actually that's not a forgone conclusion. many couples survive infidelity with little or no damage. Their relationship is worth more than a fling. in a lot of cases the partner is aware of their spouse's infidelities and chooses to ignore them.
It seems that it might be swingers who could actually suffer the worst in the event of an 'infidelity', and the culture against such things is a self protecting karma.

Adultery? More like nonmonogamy if both spouses give consent, well unless your reading from a bible that is, but thatâ€™s the problem, people cheating donâ€™t have consent/agreement from their spouse.
Adultery is like the act of sex itself, itâ€™s all about consent, it will never be a crime unless one has cause for complaint, just like will never be if consent is given by all.
Another thing to note, is that Adultery in itself only covers heterosexual sex, so a married couple playing with a bi female for girly fun will never be regarded as adulterers, the same goes for same sex marriages, adultery doesnâ€™t exist, even under divorce laws, its merely regarded as unreasonable behaviour.
NOT directed at anyone, simply because we're not here to judge, each to their own, theres something for everyone on here.
MERRY XMAS ALL XX
You are quite right about adultery being invoked if one partner sees it as unreasonable behaviour, usually as a leverage in divorce cases. Are you sure about adultery only applying to hetero marriages? I thought the civil act introduced those same values in the same usage.
But as far as cheating goes it seems an unlikely request to expect cheaters to be honest about what they do. They cheat, that's how they get off. Therefore the onus is on the couple to find out if their new partner is being honest. I think its often a decision made with their own prejudice. But that's just how the cookie crumbles.
Not sure exactly why, but in a civil partnership adultery doesnâ€™t even exist as grounds for divorce, if one of the spouses is being unfaithful the grounds for divorce are unreasonably behaviour.
At a guess, would probably say that itâ€™s assumed rightly or wrongly that people in a civil partnership are gay and will remain so, and if one were being unfaithful it would be with the same sex.
Thatâ€™s where it gets tricky, because to commit adultery full sexual intercourse must take place, anal sex and oral sex do not come under full sexual intercourse, so unless it get changed, full sexual intercourse can only happen when both partners are of the opposite sex.