any need?

6 Jul 2012

Logged on this morning to find yet another message requesting a meet, even though profile is more or less blank as I am not in the correct frame of mind to be meeting atm..anyway I chose to ignore the message as I'm pretty sure its just one of random many that he sends out!!!
Anyway..I logged on again a few hrs later only to find the same person had sent me the exact same message again (yawn).....At this point I sent a reply asking why if I had chose to ignore the previous message why did he send it again? Perfectly simple question or so I thought..........
Just thought I would share with you all the reply I received....
Definition of a 'BITCH' -
Bitches are females who: have an immature attitude,don't appreciate the good things that men do for them,always get? pissed for no reason,are too damn picky,addicted to drama,don't know what they want,who always talk shit that all men are the same,etc. Not just stupid heads who are club-party animals, who fuck with all men or who fuck for ,I respect GIRLS and WOMEN who know how to behave BUT I do NOT respect 's the said
Now I'm wondering in sending a definition back do I choose the word T****r, P***k or W****r? dunno

6 Jul 2012

I'd report the profile, block them from contacting you again and no matter how much I might want to I would not dignify their rant with a response.
I would however find myself chuckling that such a low key question (from you) ended up with such a highbrow response from them?.
Sometimes less really is more.

6 Jul 2012

crikey Whips ... aint some people touchy!lol!! rotflmao

6 Jul 2012

So is the answer no then Whippy or are you still thinking about it?
dunno

:giggle:

6 Jul 2012

Pm me the profile name, it may very well be the same person we recently reported smile

7 Jul 2012

The bloke is suffering the latter stages of festering nob rot. There is no recovery for him just more of the same cerebral assholism.

7 Jul 2012

i found this as a definition which you could have replied
1. sexual frustration t
t
when a lack of sex or sexual activities with the other gender leads to a overall bad mood and a dip in social skills. usually long periods of sleep are common
8. sexual frustration t
t
when one is entering or experiencing hormonal changes due to the act of growing up, and they do not understand what their body is doing or why. this not understanding leads to the person becoming angry or frustrated with theses sexual changes occurring within them.
innocent

8 Jul 2012

omg what an idiot.............
hope you feel better soon hun xxxx
:bounce:

9 Jul 2012

Sorry to hear that Whip! Some people just can't take rejection I guess!

9 Jul 2012

Phwoar send em over.

10 Jul 2012

It never ceases to amaze me that people (women in the main) can be so shocked at those
(mainly single guys) who are being constantly ignored or constantly turned down can lead to them getting frustrated. dunno

Simple human behaviour, repeat a task over and over again without getting the desired result equals getting wound up and frustrated. Not really rocket science.
PS Though sending dumbass message like the guy did here is just plain boneheaded, he should have just knocked one off the wrist and calmed down!

10 Jul 2012

Some people take being ignored as an insult, perhaps a polite 'no thanks' might have been the way to go. I'm not sure that his sending you his definition of a bitch helps the situation, though. However, is it necessary to run it up the public flagpole ? Not sure that helps either. Do you have serious safety concerns for example, or is it a case of 'look at me'?
Just saying like.

10 Jul 2012

Hi,
I'd agree with Mick to a point about being ignored being taken as an insult. God knows I've been ignored more times than I care to think about when I have written a very polite message to people on genuine dating sites. However I think that you can usually tell if the message seems kosha or not. If it does seem gen then, yes, a polite no-thanks would be in order. If however a second message arrives and you can be sure that your reply and the second message have not crossed in cyber-space then report it.
It is only common courtesy to send a genuine reply to a genuine message.
Smooth1

11 Jul 2012

Quote by mick357
However, is it necessary to run it up the public flagpole ? Not sure that helps either. Do you have serious safety concerns for example, or is it a case of 'look at me'?

I take offence at this. Having been on the receiving end of criticism, taunts and aggression for no other reason than not pandering to the needs of an array of men too high on testosterone... I would like to be able to turn to the community for sympathy and advice without being accused (AGAIN) of being self-centred. It's good enough when you're a willing hole but not good enough when you have a mind/desire of your own? That's the underlying message of all such behaviour, and to be frank I am quite saddened to realise just how misogynistic a supposedly liberated bunch of people can be. Maybe if there was a little more respect for single women on here, there would be more of them about.
Bayboy, I don't care how sexually frustrated anybody is, this is an ADULT SITE (haha) and adults are meant to have mastered control of their aggression, and of delayed gratification - toddler tantrums have no place here. For the record, I am also disapproving of condescending messages/ironing handling of single men, there is no need for that either.

11 Jul 2012

Quote by mick357
Some people take being ignored as an insult, perhaps a polite 'no thanks' might have been the way to go. I'm not sure that his sending you his definition of a bitch helps the situation, though. However, is it necessary to run it up the public flagpole ? Not sure that helps either. Do you have serious safety concerns for example, or is it a case of 'look at me'?
Just saying like.

thats an interesting first post. How to win friends and influence people perhaps?
Why shouldnt she speak out after being abused via PM? Is it not her prerogative to ignore a PM if she chooses, without expecting to get a nasty PM back? pretty poor show if that is the case.

11 Jul 2012

Quote by Thebonediggers
Some people take being ignored as an insult, perhaps a polite 'no thanks' might have been the way to go. I'm not sure that his sending you his definition of a bitch helps the situation, though. However, is it necessary to run it up the public flagpole ? Not sure that helps either. Do you have serious safety concerns for example, or is it a case of 'look at me'?
Just saying like.

thats an interesting first post. How to win friends and influence people perhaps?
Why shouldnt she speak out after being abused via PM? Is it not her prerogative to ignore a PM if she chooses, without expecting to get a nasty PM back? pretty poor show if that is the case.
I'll take that at face value. I don't approve of either course of action taken by either of the protagonists here. If a PM I send is ignored, personally I would simply let it slide. Similarly, if I were to receive a spiteful PM, which might have been written in a fit of peak, I would be inclined just to put that user on the 'pay no mind' list and get on with my life, unless of course it was extreme and threatening in its tone.
Bearing in mind some of the things that may potentially be put in PM's, which are personal/private by definition, I believe that it should be a serious matter before PM's are placed in the public spaces - dare I say it, it shows a slight lack of integrity. At the risk of generalizing myself, Ms. Whiplash's profile imagery may cause some to think she may enjoy this kind of 'banter'. Obviously this is not true in this case, and there was a spiteful intent, but I think you get the thrust (ahemm) of my argument here.
However, could I dare to suggest a little more understanding and a little less generalization might be a good thing. Debate, in of itself, is never a bad thing imho.
Respect for all is my mantra, whether you agree with them or not. Love to all.

12 Jul 2012

Quote by mick357
Some people take being ignored as an insult, perhaps a polite 'no thanks' might have been the way to go. I'm not sure that his sending you his definition of a bitch helps the situation, though. However, is it necessary to run it up the public flagpole ? Not sure that helps either. Do you have serious safety concerns for example, or is it a case of 'look at me'?

So the facts are simple. Someone who remains anonymous has sent a PM which wasn't read. A few hours later the anonymous person sent another PM to the same recipient. This time it was read and then compared to the first, and was a simple copy and paste job. When asked why they sent the message twice the anonymous person decides to become abusive.
That all seems quite straight forward enough to me. It's not right of me to judge your experience in the world of swinging, but as you have been a member of this site less than a week and your profile mentions one encounter I would guess it is quite limited. If and when you have had the pleasure of reading thousands of the same copy and pasted messages from people that simply cant be bothered to read your profile and see if they meet it then perhaps you might not feel so overjoyed at the thought of replying to them?
There is also a lesson to learn here for newer members of this community. Being an asshole doesn't help the cause of the anonymous person, maybe if a few members can learn from that then this thread has served it's purpose?

Quote by mick357
Bearing in mind some of the things that may potentially be put in PM's, which are personal/private by definition, I believe that it should be a serious matter before PM's are placed in the public spaces - dare I say it, it shows a slight lack of integrity.

This site refers to all on site communication as messages, not personal messages or private messages. There is no implication by the site that communication must remain betwixt two users only.
Integrity has several definitions, one of which is honesty. There is nothing more honest that putting things up for public scrutiny and debate is there? Or perhaps you mean sticking to moral and ethical principles? Well maybe if the anonymous person shown similar consideration you may have had a point, but not as things stand.

Quote by mick357
However, could I dare to suggest a little more understanding and a little less generalization might be a good thing.

Perhaps a little more understanding of the AUP by the anonymous person might have helped?
Non Acceptable Behaviour.
Abusive, aggressive, hateful or racist behaviour towards fellow members, Ops/Mods or Administration staff
Or the T&C's
Do not use the website to threaten, harass, stalk, or abuse others

Quote by mick357
Debate, in of itself, is never a bad thing imho.

It certainly is smile

12 Jul 2012

Quote by pebble
However, is it necessary to run it up the public flagpole ? Not sure that helps either. Do you have serious safety concerns for example, or is it a case of 'look at me'?

I take offence at this. Having been on the receiving end of criticism, taunts and aggression for no other reason than not pandering to the needs of an array of men too high on testosterone... I would like to be able to turn to the community for sympathy and advice without being accused (AGAIN) of being self-centred. It's good enough when you're a willing hole but not good enough when you have a mind/desire of your own? That's the underlying message of all such behaviour, and to be frank I am quite saddened to realise just how misogynistic a supposedly liberated bunch of people can be. Maybe if there was a little more respect for single women on here, there would be more of them about.
Bayboy, I don't care how sexually frustrated anybody is, this is an ADULT SITE (haha) and adults are meant to have mastered control of their aggression, and of delayed gratification - toddler tantrums have no place here. For the record, I am also disapproving of condescending messages/ironing handling of single men, there is no need for that either.
ROFL :doh:
Where do you live? It sounds as if it is similar to something out of the Stepford Wives where everyone is perfect and nobody dares step out of line.
Meanwhile back here in the real world adults should realise that a lot of people are complete tits with various undesirable personality traits.
Once again it never ceases to amaze me! You expect good and rational behaviour from all especially when sex and libido is invovled? banghead

12 Jul 2012

I've skim read this and everyone makes a very valid point on the discussion.
The issue that Swinging Heaven faces is that there is a good percentage of men and women here who are genuinely interested in meeting like minded individuals or couples with whom they can explore all the facets of their sexuality in a safe manner.
There is however a darker side to the site and to the internet in general (although SH is less anonymous because of the payment element); where individuals feel free to troll and to taunt because of a perceived protection behind a screen name.
On one side, I can understand his behaviour. There are some very beautiful women on the site that have a natural inclination towards exhibitionism. For the vast majority of male users this is a cheap way of viewing real life pornography with a glimpse of hope of a potential sexual liaison. I believe the majority of these men are very insecure, certainly from the conversations I see daily in the chat rooms. Insecurity runs in the realms of a child like thinking state, which also means that an individual has black and white emotions and finds it difficult to deal with them, hence the outbursts and tantrums. More in this case an adult tantrum with corresponding language and attitude.
My advice, is that rejection is a part of life. It happens to everyone everyday.
If by being rejected you feel the need to have an outburst as such then I strongly suggest that you seek an individual who can listen and understand you. Learn to deal with this and in the future when things don't go your way then you will have the emotional skills with which to deal with it.
This covers all facets of life, not just a swinging website.
In closing and conclusion. Pebble is not a bitch; in fact, she's articulate, smart and has a presence in her communication many would be proud to have.
Z.

12 Jul 2012

Quote by bringbackzippy
I've skim read this and everyone makes a very valid point on the discussion.
The issue that Swinging Heaven faces is that there is a good percentage of men and women here who are genuinely interested in meeting like minded individuals or couples with whom they can explore all the facets of their sexuality in a safe manner.
There is however a darker side to the site and to the internet in general (although SH is less anonymous because of the payment element); where individuals feel free to troll and to taunt because of a perceived protection behind a screen name.
On one side, I can understand his behaviour. There are some very beautiful women on the site that have a natural inclination towards exhibitionism. For the vast majority of male users this is a cheap way of viewing real life pornography with a glimpse of hope of a potential sexual liaison. I believe the majority of these men are very insecure, certainly from the conversations I see daily in the chat rooms. Insecurity runs in the realms of a child like thinking state, which also means that an individual has black and white emotions and finds it difficult to deal with them, hence the outbursts and tantrums. More in this case an adult tantrum with corresponding language and attitude.
My advice, is that rejection is a part of life. It happens to everyone everyday.
If by being rejected you feel the need to have an outburst as such then I strongly suggest that you seek an individual who can listen and understand you. Learn to deal with this and in the future when things don't go your way then you will have the emotional skills with which to deal with it.
This covers all facets of life, not just a swinging website.
In closing and conclusion. Pebble is not a bitch; in fact, she's articulate, smart and has a presence in her communication many would be proud to have.
Z.

amazing view of the whole situation and perfectly weighted i applaud you
only problem is it was whiplash that was called a bitch but I'm sure pebble will gloat in the accolade as she is pretty ok wink

12 Jul 2012

Quote by bayboy1664
ROFL :doh:
Where do you live? It sounds as if it is similar to something out of the Stepford Wives where everyone is perfect and nobody dares step out of line.
Meanwhile back here in the real world adults should realise that a lot of people are complete tits with various undesirable personality traits.
Once again it never ceases to amaze me! You expect good and rational behaviour from all especially when sex and libido is invovled?

Hmm? I "expect" REAL, GROWN MEN to have the basic courtesy to AT LEAST treat others as they are treated, like say not to lash out unprovoked. How is that unreasonable?! Why should I simply accept it that some sex-starved ape of a man decides to exercise his sociopathic imbalances on me? I am not sure why you are so keen to condone/normalise what is obviously a behaviour driven by immaturity, selfishness and disrespect. I also don't quite understand what's with the laughing, forehead-slapping, banging-head-against-the-wall routine - in itself slightly patronising, don't you think? dunno

zippy, your skim read was too perfunctory! Though your piece was excellent... for your mistake you will not get paid the agreed rate innocent

But :welcome: :borg:
Lastly, only tangentially relevant to this discussion, but .

13 Jul 2012

Quote by pebble
ROFL :doh:
Where do you live? It sounds as if it is similar to something out of the Stepford Wives where everyone is perfect and nobody dares step out of line.
Meanwhile back here in the real world adults should realise that a lot of people are complete tits with various undesirable personality traits.
Once again it never ceases to amaze me! You expect good and rational behaviour from all especially when sex and libido is invovled?

Hmm? I "expect" REAL, GROWN MEN to have the basic courtesy to AT LEAST treat others as they are treated, like say not to lash out unprovoked. How is that unreasonable?! Why should I simply accept it that some sex-starved ape of a man decides to exercise his sociopathic imbalances on me? I am not sure why you are so keen to condone/normalise what is obviously a behaviour driven by immaturity, selfishness and disrespect. I also don't quite understand what's with the laughing, forehead-slapping, banging-head-against-the-wall routine - in itself slightly patronising, don't you think? dunno

zippy, your skim read was too perfunctory! Though your piece was excellent... for your mistake you will not get paid the agreed rate innocent

But :welcome: :borg:
Lastly, only tangentially relevant to this discussion, but .
pebble
A few points:
1 How do you know they were unprovoked? They could have sent out a thousand messages only to have zero responses or only abrupt or rude refusals. They could have wasted hours of time writing messages to women on here trying to get some attention.
2 How do you know they were not treating you as they have been treated? They could have been told to royally feck off by loads of people.
3 If you do not want to interact with men in a sexually charged environment then a swingers site is the last place in the world you should be. Thing is though I bet you think you have the unalienable right to be on here and expect all of the thousands of single men you have to chose from to be ALL perfect nineteenth century gentleman out of some Jane Austin novel none of them minding the constant knockbacks they get. Sorry but the real world does not work like that no matter how many feminist novels you read. Men wanting to meet women and not being able to get angry and resentful sorry but that is a fact that has been happening since homosapiens first managed to walk upright tens of thousands of years ago.
4 I am only pointing out normal human behaviours and traits that you are under the impression do not exist.
5 The forehead slapping and head banging comes from the sheer disbelief that you think normal human charactoristics are somehow surprising and somehow shocking. They're not, they are normal.

13 Jul 2012

Quote by bayboy1664
Men wanting to meet women and not being able to get angry and resentful sorry but that is a fact that has been happening since homosapiens first managed to walk upright tens of thousands of years ago.

A round of applause for evolution and civilisation, ladies&gentlemen! Still exhibiting the same caveman approach after all these years?
Points 4&5: I never said this behaviour doesn't exist (hell, I've been on the receiving end here?), never said that it is surprising OR shocking. I did say that I find it offensive and unacceptable, and that being told to accept it adds insult to injury.
Points 1&2: If *I* didn't tell them to fuck off, *I* haven't provoked them. You are proposing that it is understandable for them to have a go at me, scorn me, insult me etc even though *I* haven't been a cunt to them, just because I happen to have a cunt that is seemingly unavailable. Personally, despite so many men on here being inconsiderate self-serving pricks, I still have faith in the few good men that I know are here, I form my impressions for each individual separately and don't treat everybody belonging to the male gender as a nuisance. See? Different side, same coin! But in any case, I wouldn't dream of having a rant on A TOTAL STRANGER just to vent my frustration for a state of affairs/dynamic (ie. cunt being in short supply) that is beyond anybody's control.
Point 3 *deep breath* oh bayboy!

Quote by bayboy1664
3 If you do not want to interact with men in a sexually charged environment then a swingers site is the last place in the world you should be.

You know, I get told things along this line nearly weekly. Sure I want to interact with horny men, I'd like to shag some of them. I have no issues with a sexually charged environment, but I do have an issue with a sexually aggressive environment. It is not my fault that some of these men are too tense, and as you so rightly proposed in your initial post such men should knock one out first before attempting to woo anyone. Questions for everyone - is men's sexual arousal interlinked with aggression? Or is it just that some of them think they're on a free-for-all and forget their basic humanity?

Quote by bayboy1664
Thing is though I bet you think you have the unalienable right to be on here and expect all of the thousands of single men you have to chose from <snip>

OK, the only reason I am quoting this is because here you demonstrate the type of mindset you are defending. Liberally applying to me the stereotype - not merely assuming I am like that but so sure I am you are ready to bet on it?
And to continue with the slight patronisation: first it was Stepford Wives, now it is Jane Austin and feminist novels.
:giggle:
Well, excuse me while I retire to my ivory tower, to crochet a tea cosy and ponder on sexual politics until my knight in shining armour comes to call on me - for a blow job lol

Oh and mick357 :welcome: to the forums also! I was so busy taking offence at your post that I failed to notice it was your first ;)

13 Jul 2012

there is no justification for the mail that was sent to the op
buff it and polish it all you like it doesn't justify or make it OK
so what is it? its bullying tactics, sexual frustration or just plain rudeness an inability to accept rejection prehaps but most of all its a guaranteed way not to get a meet
sorry but the sheer numbers of single males on this site means at least 70% of them are going struggle to get a shag i know when we advertise in the looking for a meet today section we get 30 mails from blokes to every 1 mail from a couple and 600 mails from blokes to every 1 mail from a single female (and that's only pebble asking if we need a photographer lol

)
sorry guys not being horrid or shitty just being honest and realistic, the odds are stacked against you in a big way. a meet you might not get this week might change their mind next so its all ways worth being polite and of you don't get one take advantage of the many free porn cams in the chat-room
tip: should you get to 50 mails and no reply or 50 mails and no real interest then you need to change your tact, lots of guys on here get meets most don't look like Johnny depp most are not under 30 and very few have cocks bigger than average so why are some so successful. work that out and you cracked it wink

we as most couples do keep a list of mails from some blokes that we would meet last minute if they was available and liza was in that particular mood. so its always worth being nice you never know who saved you profile or mail for a later date :cool:

13 Jul 2012

pebble
There is little point in carrying on this thread as we shall not agree. I will end in saying that the world is full of numpties and when it comes to "evolution" and "civilisation" they can and often do go straight out the window when it comes to sex.
Man is an animal with emotions and no amount of pretending otherwise will alter that fact.

13 Jul 2012

Quote by bayboy1664
pebble
There is little point in carrying on this thread as we shall not agree. I will end in saying that the world is full of numpties and when it comes to "evolution" and "civilisation" they can and often do go straight out the window when it comes to sex.
Man is an animal with emotions and no amount of pretending otherwise will alter that fact.

Ahhhh so what you are saying is that the females of this site should actually just go rolleyes

when they receive an email calling them a bitch, have a chuckle and think what a silly billy they are and carry on about the rest of their business.
I assume that by stating that "Man is an animal with emotions.." you dont include women in that statement?
Oh boy :doh:

20 Jul 2012

Quote by whiplash
Logged on this morning to find yet another message requesting a meet, even though profile is more or less blank as I am not in the correct frame of mind to be meeting atm..anyway I chose to ignore the message as I'm pretty sure its just one of random many that he sends out!!!
Anyway..I logged on again a few hrs later only to find the same person had sent me the exact same message again (yawn).....At this point I sent a reply asking why if I had chose to ignore the previous message why did he send it again? Perfectly simple question or so I thought..........
Just thought I would share with you all the reply I received....
Definition of a 'BITCH' -
Bitches are females who: have an immature attitude,don't appreciate the good things that men do for them,always get? pissed for no reason,are too damn picky,addicted to drama,don't know what they want,who always talk shit that all men are the same,etc. Not just stupid heads who are club-party animals, who fuck with all men or who fuck for ,I respect GIRLS and WOMEN who know how to behave BUT I do NOT respect 's the said
Now I'm wondering in sending a definition back do I choose the word T****r, P***k or W****r?

Fancy a meet?........... blink

20 Jul 2012

Quote by bayboy1664
1 How do you know they were unprovoked? They could have sent out a thousand messages only to have zero responses or only abrupt or rude refusals. They could have wasted hours of time writing messages to women on here trying to get some attention.

I fail to see how being ignored by other people can be seen as provocation by the OP, ii has got nothing whatsoever to do with her!

12 Dec 2012

Wouldn't it be worse if nobody mailed no matter what state of man horn ?? Think it positively , it's even quite a compliment ... Personally if I get ignored I don't do a thing after they do. Hate it though as haven't done many mails so far so makes it worse being ignored with ones I'm into etc ...
Great fun here though
Enjoy the week you lot
J x

12 Dec 2012

Wow, you can't beat a good necropost.

Quote by VoyeurJ
Personally if I get ignored I don't do a thing after they do

Surely if you are ignored you wouldn't know what 'they' do?