Well, the chat room rules say that "The Cafe" is the place to discuss this subject, so here goes with my first post in the forums...
Had a run in with a chat room operator today.
I put a message in the window stating that I was up for a meet and asking people to privately message me. A few minutes later I placed a similar message (not the exact same one) again asking people to private.
The op then leapt in (in the public chat window, not private) and told me that this wasn't an advertising forum it was a chat room and to go to the forums and place an ad.
I pointed out that I was asking for people to PM me and then I would chat with them. She then (again in the public chat window) re-printed my two messages and publically admonished me for "trolling" . I hardly think two (non-identical) messges in the space of a few minutes constitutes trolling. After all people are logging in to the room all the time and will not have seen any earlier messages.
I asked her if the rules forbade the sending unsolicited private messages, then how else was one able to ask to chat / meet with someone? No reply. I then asked her if she was stating that no one was allowed to mention their availability for a meet in the chat room. Again, no reply.
I then checked the rules, came back and pointed out to her that I had not violated any chat room rules. She then pointed out that this wasn't a debate and she would ban me if I didn't shut up. Well she won that argument fair and square didn't she?
I'm not new at this and have been using the rooms on this and other sites for well over a year with no problems whatsoever. I have never encountered anything like this before. I have never violated the rules or posted anything inflamatory, illegal or antagonistic, and have never been reprimanded by an op before. I do not appreciate being publically told off like this when I have done nothing wrong.
I've contacted the site operators to complain about this, but I wondered if anyone else out there has had a similar experience, and what the result was?
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Anyone ever had a problem like this in a chatroom?
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Sex God
Trolling is very boring when you have been in the chat room for a while; even if your messages are not identical they will have been very similar for them to be deemed trolling. Point taken about people entering all the time though. However, it's much better to join in with the actual chats taking place than to just advertise what you are or what you seek. You will probably find that you have better responses in this way than merely being repetitive. People get to see what you are like, albeit in a chatroom, and may be more willing to consider you than if you keep saying the same thing (trolling).
Sex God
Quote by boltguy
Well, the chat room rules say that "The Cafe" is the place to discuss this subject, so here goes with my first post in the forums...
Had a run in with a chat room operator today.
I put a message in the window stating that I was up for a meet and asking people to privately message me. A few minutes later I placed a similar message (not the exact same one) again asking people to private.
The op then leapt in (in the public chat window, not private) and told me that this wasn't an advertising forum it was a chat room and to go to the forums and place an ad.
I pointed out that I was asking for people to PM me and then I would chat with them. She then (again in the public chat window) re-printed my two messages and publically admonished me for "trolling" . I hardly think two (non-identical) messges in the space of a few minutes constitutes trolling. After all people are logging in to the room all the time and will not have seen any earlier messages.
I asked her if the rules forbade the sending unsolicited private messages, then how else was one able to ask to chat / meet with someone? No reply. I then asked her if she was stating that no one was allowed to mention their availability for a meet in the chat room. Again, no reply.
I then checked the rules, came back and pointed out to her that I had not violated any chat room rules. She then pointed out that this wasn't a debate and she would ban me if I didn't shut up. Well she won that argument fair and square didn't she?
I'm not new at this and have been using the rooms on this and other sites for well over a year with no problems whatsoever. I have never encountered anything like this before. I have never violated the rules or posted anything inflamatory, illegal or antagonistic, and have never been reprimanded by an op before. I do not appreciate being publically told off like this when I have done nothing wrong.
I've contacted the site operators to complain about this, but I wondered if anyone else out there has had a similar experience, and what the result was?
First of all, if you are an experienced chat room user as you say you are, then you most certainly WILL have encountered this sort of thing before, since chat room ops who throw their virtual weight around purely for the sake of it are hardly uncommon, although I have personally not seen too much of that in the SH room.
Not having been there to see what you said in the room I can only express the view that announcing your availability for PM would not in itself warrant a warning, but as I say I wasn't there and don't know what else was said.
Could I suggest that if you want to take issue with a specific occurrence rather than generally discuss how the room is run, then you might consider sending a log of the session to the room owner and asking him to clarify the rules as they apply to that particular situation.
Regards,
Ice
These are the messages:
Any bi or straight / curious males for meet with bi guy North West? Good body, nice big dick and own place so I can accommodate. Message me guys. Ad 61637
Bi male North west for meet with same. Fit, hung and can accommodate. Ad number 61637. Message me guys...
Any bi / straight / curious males for meet with bi guy North West.? Good body, ni..........
As you can see they're remarkably different to each other. Going into the chatroom just to throw messages like this out every 2 or 3 minutes is what we call trolling. It certainly isn't chatting. The op in question has my full support and probably the support of everyone else trying to chat as well.
Steve
Any bi or straight / curious males for meet with bi guy North West? Good body, nice big dick and own place so I can accommodate. Message me guys. Ad 61637
Bi male North west for meet with same. Fit, hung and can accommodate. Ad number 61637. Message me guys...
Any bi / straight / curious males for meet with bi guy North West.? Good body, ni..........
As you can see they're remarkably different to each other. Going into the chatroom just to throw messages like this out every 2 or 3 minutes is what we call trolling. It certainly isn't chatting. The op in question has my full support and probably the support of everyone else trying to chat as well.
Steve
Sex God
agree there Steve. the only difference was that the message became more brief each time. certainly would get boring lol
Since I was in the room at the time, I think I should add that other chatroom members had complained about your near identical messages, and several of us spent a long time explaining why we find it annoying. It's a chat room, which implies that it's a room for chatting in! If you want to advertise your availabilty, there are many places on the site where you can do that.
Your warning was public (as all warnings are) because the room rules say pvt-ing without asking isn't allowed.
As for you being kicked from the chatroom, I imagine you could take your pick from from "Conduct likely to cause discord to the chat room." or "Criticism of the site or chat room".
Maybe the chatroom rules should be amended to reflect current practice, explicitly prohibiting repeated pastes, and allowing mild cybering - after all, the room would be empty if that rule was enforced strictly!
Your warning was public (as all warnings are) because the room rules say pvt-ing without asking isn't allowed.
As for you being kicked from the chatroom, I imagine you could take your pick from from "Conduct likely to cause discord to the chat room." or "Criticism of the site or chat room".
Maybe the chatroom rules should be amended to reflect current practice, explicitly prohibiting repeated pastes, and allowing mild cybering - after all, the room would be empty if that rule was enforced strictly!
Sex God
OK, I can see that stuff like that could get tedious if it's just essentially the same thing repeated over and over, but let's assume that someone does just want private chats and doesn't want to chat in the main room for whatever reason. Some people can be quite intimidated by a very busy room with lots of people and rapid chat going on, and find it difficult to elbow their way in to the conversation. Given that he can't just PM everyone without asking, and since asking everyone individually would be just as tedious, he needs some other way to make his intentions known without getting on people's nerves. Which brings me back to a suggestion I made a while ago - How about adopting some generally recognised means of indicating in your nick that you are available for PMs? Maybe something simple like <PM_icepie> so that everyone can see who's open and who's not?
Just a thought.
Ice
Just a thought.
Ice
Quote by steveg_nw
As you can see they're remarkably different to each other. Going into the chatroom just to throw messages like this out every 2 or 3 minutes is what we call trolling. It certainly isn't chatting.
I can see how this kind of thing would be very annoying for chatters. But disturbingly it doesn't actually seem to be against the rules...
Quite correct Roger. It isn't against the rules. Which brings me to my original question, why was I told off and threatened with a ban?
If other members find it an annoyance, might I suggest that the problem lies with them, not me. I see dozens of things going on in the chat room that are of no interest to me whatsoever, for example people asking how's so-and so's mum, things that have been on telly that night and so on (the types of conversation which incidentally ARE warned about in the chat rules - some of you really should read them sometime). It doesn't annoy me in the least - I just skim past and ignore (deep breath) WHAT DOESN'T CONCERN ME. Especially when said messages are not in any way shape or form abusive, threatening, derogatory, illegal or in any way in contravention of the chat room rules. And especially when they AREN'T ADDRESSED TO ME AND THEREFORE NONE OF MY BUSINESS AND OF NO CONCERN TO ME.
Penny dropping anyone?
Is there a point to the sarcasm and the re-printing my messages Steve? Nowhere did I claim that the messages were "...remarkably different..." from each other. If you read my original post I admit quite clearly that I placed similar messages.
Quote, "A few minutes later I placed a similar message (not the exact same one) again asking people to private."
So, like I say, was there a point?
Mister Discreet. As to the allegation of complaints from other users, no one complained when I was in, only the moderator. The comments from other members to me were advice along the lines of "Don't argue with the op mate, you can't win".
You also state:
"Your warning was public (as all warnings are) because the room rules say pvt-ing without asking isn't allowed."
Er, hello??? You really should try to keep up with the debate - it would help. The entire point is that I was NOT privating without asking, that I was going out of my way not to private without asking by asking people to private me. Is that simple enough for you to grasp?
As to "...repeated pastes...", again wrong. Bit obvious from looking at my messages (above) that they were'nt copy and paste jobs, isn't it? Incidentally, try copying and pasting in the chat window and let me know how you get on...
That's three points you've been inaccurate on. Not too reliable a witness are you?
And to underscore what Ice has said, where does it say in the rules that I HAVE to chat in the public window? Is it forbidden for me to ask for a private? Is there a limit to the number of times I can do so? If so can you point me to those particular points in the chat room rules? Perhaps if it's such an issue that someone wants private chats only, you should remove the facility for private chat?
At the end of the day this is supposed to be a swingers site. The chatroom is supposed to be for the purposes of aiding / supplementing / enhancing the swinging experience. So why do so many people seem to have a problem with someone being direct, upfront, unambiguous and cutting through the bullshit and trying to score a little action?
If that's disturbing or annoying to anyone, might I suggest membership of a knitting circle rather than a swingers site?
If other members find it an annoyance, might I suggest that the problem lies with them, not me. I see dozens of things going on in the chat room that are of no interest to me whatsoever, for example people asking how's so-and so's mum, things that have been on telly that night and so on (the types of conversation which incidentally ARE warned about in the chat rules - some of you really should read them sometime). It doesn't annoy me in the least - I just skim past and ignore (deep breath) WHAT DOESN'T CONCERN ME. Especially when said messages are not in any way shape or form abusive, threatening, derogatory, illegal or in any way in contravention of the chat room rules. And especially when they AREN'T ADDRESSED TO ME AND THEREFORE NONE OF MY BUSINESS AND OF NO CONCERN TO ME.
Penny dropping anyone?
Is there a point to the sarcasm and the re-printing my messages Steve? Nowhere did I claim that the messages were "...remarkably different..." from each other. If you read my original post I admit quite clearly that I placed similar messages.
Quote, "A few minutes later I placed a similar message (not the exact same one) again asking people to private."
So, like I say, was there a point?
Mister Discreet. As to the allegation of complaints from other users, no one complained when I was in, only the moderator. The comments from other members to me were advice along the lines of "Don't argue with the op mate, you can't win".
You also state:
"Your warning was public (as all warnings are) because the room rules say pvt-ing without asking isn't allowed."
Er, hello??? You really should try to keep up with the debate - it would help. The entire point is that I was NOT privating without asking, that I was going out of my way not to private without asking by asking people to private me. Is that simple enough for you to grasp?
As to "...repeated pastes...", again wrong. Bit obvious from looking at my messages (above) that they were'nt copy and paste jobs, isn't it? Incidentally, try copying and pasting in the chat window and let me know how you get on...
That's three points you've been inaccurate on. Not too reliable a witness are you?
And to underscore what Ice has said, where does it say in the rules that I HAVE to chat in the public window? Is it forbidden for me to ask for a private? Is there a limit to the number of times I can do so? If so can you point me to those particular points in the chat room rules? Perhaps if it's such an issue that someone wants private chats only, you should remove the facility for private chat?
At the end of the day this is supposed to be a swingers site. The chatroom is supposed to be for the purposes of aiding / supplementing / enhancing the swinging experience. So why do so many people seem to have a problem with someone being direct, upfront, unambiguous and cutting through the bullshit and trying to score a little action?
If that's disturbing or annoying to anyone, might I suggest membership of a knitting circle rather than a swingers site?
Whilst I don't really want to get too involved, a chatroom is for that .... CHAT .... it's not a pickup joint! And yes it does annoy others believe it or not! If everyone went in and did what you had done do you think it would be so popular?
Whilst I can appreciate your point of reposting because of newcomers ... seriously I have to ask .. was the turnover of people so high that it warranted 3 posts in 5 minutes??? 3 posts in 15 minutes maybe ... but 5 mins that is a bit much!
I used to run a mIRC chatroom and can agree totally with how the mods have reacted .. I can see your point, but to keep labouring on is likely to wind others up and result in a ban.
My advice, live learn and move on!
Whilst I can appreciate your point of reposting because of newcomers ... seriously I have to ask .. was the turnover of people so high that it warranted 3 posts in 5 minutes??? 3 posts in 15 minutes maybe ... but 5 mins that is a bit much!
I used to run a mIRC chatroom and can agree totally with how the mods have reacted .. I can see your point, but to keep labouring on is likely to wind others up and result in a ban.
My advice, live learn and move on!
Quote by boltguy
You also state:
"Your warning was public (as all warnings are) because the room rules say pvt-ing without asking isn't allowed."
Er, hello??? You really should try to keep up with the debate - it would help. The entire point is that I was NOT privating without asking, that I was going out of my way not to private without asking by asking people to private me. Is that simple enough for you to grasp?
Right are we a little bit lacking in the brains dept???
What Ice was trying to say is that a chatroom op can't pm without asking either thats why you had to be warned in the room otherwise they would have been breaking their own rules,get it???????
And your complaining about being warned in a public room,when here you are winging about being warned,in a public forum,so its ok for you but not for them,make your mind up ffs.
Clare,xxx
Firstly the quote wasn't from Ice. 
Secondly, to quote the chatroom rules:
"The ONLY exception to this rule is that a SysOp (moderator) may PVT any room user without asking first on business related to the safety of the room or the rules."
Get It? Is that clear enough for you Clare?
Or "... are we a little bit lacking in the brains dept??? "
Secondly, to quote the chatroom rules:
"The ONLY exception to this rule is that a SysOp (moderator) may PVT any room user without asking first on business related to the safety of the room or the rules."
Get It? Is that clear enough for you Clare?
Or "... are we a little bit lacking in the brains dept???
" Quote by boltguy
Firstly the quote wasn't from Ice.
Secondly, to quote the chatroom rules:
"The ONLY exception to this rule is that a SysOp (moderator) may PVT any room user without asking first on business related to the safety of the room or the rules."
Get It? Is that clear enough for you Clare?
Or "... are we a little bit lacking in the brains dept???
No im not that lacking but if you want a laugh its pmt time and yes im getting p*ssed off very easily by very stupid little people who annoy me!!
Did you ever think that maybe they did what they thought was right and the fact that theyre the ops and in charge they can do that if they choose.
Oh but you forgot to pick me up on the point of you winging in a public forum,i guess that means i must be right about that then(not bad for a woman with pmt eh!)
But hey if you dont like it or agree with it all here then why dont you just go somewhere else with all the other petty little people?
Clare,xxx
Sex God
If that's disturbing or annoying to anyone, might I suggest membership of a knitting circle rather than a swingers site?
....now someone is reallyneedled....
Mike.
Quote by boltguy
Or "... are we a little bit lacking in the brains dept???
:shock: :shock: Have I missed something here as a blonde :roll: :roll:
Thought you were the one advertising your brains in the chatroom
I have been in the SH chat room on many an occasion where someone will put up a not too disssimiliar message to yours and wont be banned but they are totally ignored and therefore give up anyway as they can see this is not the sort of site which wants to just now about well hung appendages in the chatroom. Not sure what your problem is really. Just enjoy SH for the boundaries not just set by the mods but the overall community that use it. Rules are after all guidleines to the values of the group. So now you know them either enjoy the site or go and find one which meets your own values.
Sex God
another one who joined the forum just to complain about chat ffs...steve made the point in an earlier post when he showedthe posts in the chat room. having read and contributed to this thread, i think boltguy might be advised to leave anyway and not bother with chat, cos who's gonna want to chat to such a petty little man...it won't take people long to suss him after all.
Quote by boltguy
If other members find it an annoyance, might I suggest that the problem lies with them, not me.
You're quite free to suggest this, but you'd be wrong. Repeated advertising - whether you bother to rewrite the adverts - is one of the most frustrating things about the chatroom. It's boring, it's uninteresting, it asks for the community's indulgence whilst giving nothing back. Nobody wants to see you advertising apart from the people who reply to you, and if you need to keep re-advertising every 3 minutes then it's a fair bet nobody's replying to you.
Quote by boltguy
So why do so many people seem to have a problem with someone being direct, upfront, unambiguous and cutting through the bullshit and trying to score a little action?
Because it's boring for the audience - ie every other person in that chatroom. Your point seems to be along the lines of "hey, I don't care if I piss people off - I JUST WANNA GET LAID!" - I'm sure it's no surprise if people aren't too enamoured with that attitude.
Quote by boltguy
Penny dropping anyone?
Yes. But it's sad to see someone obviously so eloquent devolve into a ranting idiot.
Sorry for the delay in replying guys – been out for a meal, so just came back and read the mail. OK. Eyes down look in...
Calista: “…a chatroom is for that…. CHAT…. it’s not a pickup joint…â€
With respect Calista, it is not for you to say what the chatroom is or isn’t for, or to dictate what people can or cannot chat about, particularly when they seek to do it in private as I attempted to do. If people want to use the chat facility with the ultimate aim of a pickup that is entirely their business, I reiterate it is a swingers chatroom after all, not a bible study group.
Horror of horrors, some people – believe it or not - are on here in pursuit of “the swinging experience†which allegedly involves S-E-X, and provided they do not contravene the rules of the chatroom by being, abusive, insulting, discussing potentially offensive or illegal topics, etc, what they talk about – particularly in private – is entirely their affair.
And furthermore I would suggest there’s several hundred other people using it regularly that need to be informed that “…. it’s not a pickup joint…†as they seem to be doing their damndest to “pick up†in it.
Three posts in five minutes I must admit came as a surprise to me. But as someone who uses the room you must be aware that your line of text is pushed off the top of the page within a few seconds of appearing when people are chatting, so you wait what seems like a reasonable period before posting again. Must admit it seemed longer than five minutes, but there you go.
The_tongue: “There is no need to harp on about how badly you have been treated etc, just accept what youve been told and get on with
Well you see, the point of this whole debate is that I’ve not been told much have I? Follow the thread from the initial exchange in the chatroom to these in the forum and you will notice two questions that have yet to be answered:
1. Please will you tell me what rules of the chatroom I contravened to incur the wrath of the op in the first place?
2. Why won’t anyone answer question one?
Maybe we share different value systems, but when I feel I have been wronged I find it difficult to accept what I’ve been told and get on with it. I also think it is only common courtesy to answer a politely phrased question, with something other than, â€â€¦shut up or I’ll ban you…†or words to that effect. You may be able to accept that behaviour, fine, that’s your right. Please accept my right to have somewhat different feelings on the subject.
Clarensteve: “Oh but you forgot to pick me up on the point of you winging in a public forum,i guess that means i must be right about that then(not bad for a woman with pmt eh!)â€
No - it simply means that I didn’t pick you up on that. Which on reflection was a bit rude of me. I mean here am I complaining that no one will have the courtesy to answer my question when I’ve been inconsiderate enough to not respond to one of your points. Let’s rectify that.
“And your complaining about being warned in a public room,when here you are winging about being warned,in a public forum,so its ok for you but not for them,make your mind up
Sorry but there isn’t any contradiction here at all. To make it clear (yet again), the point is that I’m trying to establish why the moderator chose to issue the warning. As I and other members have already pointed out, no rules were broken. I’m not on here threatening to ban anyone as the op did, I’m not refusing to answer questions put to me as the op did, so “…its ok for you but not for them,make your mind up Doesn’t really hold any water, does it?
It’s regrettable that you feel the need to drag the debate down to the level of personal abuse, name calling and insults. Funny isn’t it. All the things I didn’t do in the chat room today and I get banned, and yet you indulge in them with impunity and you aren’t kicked from the forums.
And you wonder why I feel that a slight injustice has been done?
Vodka_babe22uk: "i was also in room at the time and the op in question treated you fairly as did other room members in explaining to you but you were on your high horse and wouldent pay any heedâ€
If you don’t mind me saying so that’s a rather subjective view of events.
I politely, emphasise politely, asked questions of the op and was rather impolitely ignored. I thought that rather than argue I would check out the chat room rules. I did so. I came back to the chat and pointed out to the moderator that I had read the rules and could not see where I had violated any rules. I asked her please, again emphasis on please, could she point out if I’ve missed something.
And you think that’s getting on one’s “high horse� You’ll forgive me if I disagree. The reply I received was that this isn’t a debate, shut up or you’ll be banned. You think that’s being treated fairly? Again forgive me if I disagree.
I said fine I’ll leave it here and will contact the site owner and register my complaint, said bye and left. And guess what? When I attempted to log in tonight (just to check that shallow folk weren’t attempting to use it as a “pickup jointâ€), whaddaya know, I’d been banned.
So let’s get this clear. Didn’t break any chat room rules (the issue that nobody seems willing to address), didn’t argue with the op, simply asked questions that she didn’t have the courtesy to answer. She finally responds with a warning to me not to argue with her or I’ll be banned, so I don’t argue, simply state that I’m leaving and I’ll take it up with the owners, and log off. And I get banned. Care to rethink your concept of fair treatment?
Mike: “…now someone is really needled…â€
At last – somebody gets the point! (Groan! Sorry!)
Corriefem: "I have been in the SH chat room on many an occasion where someone will put up a not too disssimiliar message to yours and wont be banned but they are totally ignored and therefore give up anyway as they can see this is not the sort of site which wants to just now about well hung appendages in the chatroom."
Fine – that is exactly the point I made above. If it doesn’t interest you ignore it. No need to start issuing bans. However my experience is that I don’t get totally ignored. Funnily enough I get a lot of replies. Mostly from timewasting single males with no ad and no pics who want to “talk dirty†(you all know the type I’m sure - I fully sympathise with couples and females who want no truck with them), and strangely enough the male half of married couples who describe themselves as totally straight in their ads, but again want to talk man-sex with a bloke while wifey is out of the house. Again total timewasters. But occasionally one meets a nice, genuine person. So no, not totally ignored, only by those who aren’t interested which is fine and dandy and how it should be.
I am gobsmacked that there are people on a swingers site that feel irritated / uncomfortable / offended / whatever, at the mention of the size of a guy's old fella. Bizzarre though it seems to me, I do however acknowledge the fact that some don't cotton to it. Accordingly I will respect the feelings of those individuals, as causing offence is not the name of the game here, and refrain from any mention of said fabulously-dimensioned todger in any future postings. And that's a promise mods/ops.
Besides, a picture is worth a thousand words and there's one on my ad... :wink:
"Not sure what your problem is really. Just enjoy SH for the boundaries not just set by the mods but the overall community that use it. Rules are after all guidleines to the values of the group. So now you know them either enjoy the site or go and find one which meets your own values."
Again, I agree with you. Rules and boundaries that I accept fully, and did not transgress. And note concession to chat-room harmony I've made above. However, whether I can enjoy the site is another issue altogether, as I have been banned. :(
Mark: "PS In the chatroom rules it says: At all times please follow the directions of any Sysop that may be on duty in the room."
As stated above, I exited briefly to read the rules (including the one mentioned above) came back in, asked a question, was threatened with a ban if I “arguedâ€. Obeyed that rule from the op, didn’t argue, stated my intention to leave it there and take it up with the site owners, and still got banned. So once again, didn’t break any rules, obeyed the instruction from the op, and still got banned. Go figure...
Roger743: “Repeated advertising - whether you bother to rewrite the adverts - is one of the most frustrating things about the chatroom. It's boring, it's uninteresting, it asks for the community's indulgence whilst giving nothing
Accepted it’s boring (to some) and uninteresting (to some) but again, it doesn’t break the rules, and as stated above I find the majority of what I read in the chatroom to be tedious or of no interest to me whatsoever. However I don’t feel the need to castigate people for it. I simply ignore it…
“Nobody wants to see you advertising apart from the people who reply to you, and if you need to keep re-advertising every 3 minutes then it's a fair bet nobody's replying to
And those people who are interested and reply to me have every right to see my message and have the opportunity to reply to it. Let’s face it Roger, no one is interested in any ads except the ones they are interested in are they? That’s rather stating the obvious isn’t it? And to no point...
As to who does and doesn’t reply – asked and answered above.
“Because it's boring for the audience - ie every other person in that
Surely if “every other person†in the chatroom finds it boring, then that implies that every other person in the room doesn’t find it boring? Again, you have every right to be bored with it, just as others have every right to find it of interest to them. Is there something wrong with that? What would you suggest? A new chatroom rule “Every message must be of interest to every member of the chatroom� Now just imagine how boring that would be.
“Your point seems to be along the lines of "hey, I don't care if I piss people off - I JUST WANNA GET LAID!" - I'm sure it's no surprise if people aren't too enamoured with that
If that were the case, people would be quite right to feel none too enamoured.
However it isn’t the case. It’s as simple as this. I don’t want to piss anyone off. I do however want to get laid (for the hundredth time it’s a swingers site!) and I will go into the chat room, place my message and request a private chat with those who are interested. While I’m doing that I will endeavour not to contravene any chat room rules, will certainly not be abusive or discuss any potentially illegal/offensive subjects either publicly or privately. While I’m in there I will respect your right to be bored or uninterested with what I have to say while I hope you will respect my right to be bored or uninterested by what you have to say. Accordingly I will ignore anything that I find doesn’t interest or concern me. In short I will MIND MY OWN BUSINESS WHILE YOU MIND YOURS.
Is that unreasonable Roger?
But it's sad to see someone obviously so eloquent devolve into a ranting
So, let me get this straight. I have the courtesy to take the time to give a full and carefully considered response to all points raised (the ideal for a debate such as this surely?) while others indulge in name calling and petty personal abuse, yet I am the “ranting idiot� Interesting reasoning Roger…
Jeezus! 3:30 in the morning. Off to bandage bleeding fingers and then to bed. Nite all! :wink:
Calista: “…a chatroom is for that…. CHAT…. it’s not a pickup joint…â€
With respect Calista, it is not for you to say what the chatroom is or isn’t for, or to dictate what people can or cannot chat about, particularly when they seek to do it in private as I attempted to do. If people want to use the chat facility with the ultimate aim of a pickup that is entirely their business, I reiterate it is a swingers chatroom after all, not a bible study group.
Horror of horrors, some people – believe it or not - are on here in pursuit of “the swinging experience†which allegedly involves S-E-X, and provided they do not contravene the rules of the chatroom by being, abusive, insulting, discussing potentially offensive or illegal topics, etc, what they talk about – particularly in private – is entirely their affair.
And furthermore I would suggest there’s several hundred other people using it regularly that need to be informed that “…. it’s not a pickup joint…†as they seem to be doing their damndest to “pick up†in it.
Three posts in five minutes I must admit came as a surprise to me. But as someone who uses the room you must be aware that your line of text is pushed off the top of the page within a few seconds of appearing when people are chatting, so you wait what seems like a reasonable period before posting again. Must admit it seemed longer than five minutes, but there you go.
The_tongue: “There is no need to harp on about how badly you have been treated etc, just accept what youve been told and get on with
Well you see, the point of this whole debate is that I’ve not been told much have I? Follow the thread from the initial exchange in the chatroom to these in the forum and you will notice two questions that have yet to be answered:
1. Please will you tell me what rules of the chatroom I contravened to incur the wrath of the op in the first place?
2. Why won’t anyone answer question one?
Maybe we share different value systems, but when I feel I have been wronged I find it difficult to accept what I’ve been told and get on with it. I also think it is only common courtesy to answer a politely phrased question, with something other than, â€â€¦shut up or I’ll ban you…†or words to that effect. You may be able to accept that behaviour, fine, that’s your right. Please accept my right to have somewhat different feelings on the subject.
Clarensteve: “Oh but you forgot to pick me up on the point of you winging in a public forum,i guess that means i must be right about that then(not bad for a woman with pmt eh!)â€
No - it simply means that I didn’t pick you up on that. Which on reflection was a bit rude of me. I mean here am I complaining that no one will have the courtesy to answer my question when I’ve been inconsiderate enough to not respond to one of your points. Let’s rectify that.
“And your complaining about being warned in a public room,when here you are winging about being warned,in a public forum,so its ok for you but not for them,make your mind up
Sorry but there isn’t any contradiction here at all. To make it clear (yet again), the point is that I’m trying to establish why the moderator chose to issue the warning. As I and other members have already pointed out, no rules were broken. I’m not on here threatening to ban anyone as the op did, I’m not refusing to answer questions put to me as the op did, so “…its ok for you but not for them,make your mind up Doesn’t really hold any water, does it?
It’s regrettable that you feel the need to drag the debate down to the level of personal abuse, name calling and insults. Funny isn’t it. All the things I didn’t do in the chat room today and I get banned, and yet you indulge in them with impunity and you aren’t kicked from the forums.
And you wonder why I feel that a slight injustice has been done?
Vodka_babe22uk: "i was also in room at the time and the op in question treated you fairly as did other room members in explaining to you but you were on your high horse and wouldent pay any heedâ€
If you don’t mind me saying so that’s a rather subjective view of events.
I politely, emphasise politely, asked questions of the op and was rather impolitely ignored. I thought that rather than argue I would check out the chat room rules. I did so. I came back to the chat and pointed out to the moderator that I had read the rules and could not see where I had violated any rules. I asked her please, again emphasis on please, could she point out if I’ve missed something.
And you think that’s getting on one’s “high horse� You’ll forgive me if I disagree. The reply I received was that this isn’t a debate, shut up or you’ll be banned. You think that’s being treated fairly? Again forgive me if I disagree.
I said fine I’ll leave it here and will contact the site owner and register my complaint, said bye and left. And guess what? When I attempted to log in tonight (just to check that shallow folk weren’t attempting to use it as a “pickup jointâ€), whaddaya know, I’d been banned.
So let’s get this clear. Didn’t break any chat room rules (the issue that nobody seems willing to address), didn’t argue with the op, simply asked questions that she didn’t have the courtesy to answer. She finally responds with a warning to me not to argue with her or I’ll be banned, so I don’t argue, simply state that I’m leaving and I’ll take it up with the owners, and log off. And I get banned. Care to rethink your concept of fair treatment?
Mike: “…now someone is really needled…â€
At last – somebody gets the point! (Groan! Sorry!)
Corriefem: "I have been in the SH chat room on many an occasion where someone will put up a not too disssimiliar message to yours and wont be banned but they are totally ignored and therefore give up anyway as they can see this is not the sort of site which wants to just now about well hung appendages in the chatroom."
Fine – that is exactly the point I made above. If it doesn’t interest you ignore it. No need to start issuing bans. However my experience is that I don’t get totally ignored. Funnily enough I get a lot of replies. Mostly from timewasting single males with no ad and no pics who want to “talk dirty†(you all know the type I’m sure - I fully sympathise with couples and females who want no truck with them), and strangely enough the male half of married couples who describe themselves as totally straight in their ads, but again want to talk man-sex with a bloke while wifey is out of the house. Again total timewasters. But occasionally one meets a nice, genuine person. So no, not totally ignored, only by those who aren’t interested which is fine and dandy and how it should be.
I am gobsmacked that there are people on a swingers site that feel irritated / uncomfortable / offended / whatever, at the mention of the size of a guy's old fella. Bizzarre though it seems to me, I do however acknowledge the fact that some don't cotton to it. Accordingly I will respect the feelings of those individuals, as causing offence is not the name of the game here, and refrain from any mention of said fabulously-dimensioned todger in any future postings. And that's a promise mods/ops.
Besides, a picture is worth a thousand words and there's one on my ad... :wink:
"Not sure what your problem is really. Just enjoy SH for the boundaries not just set by the mods but the overall community that use it. Rules are after all guidleines to the values of the group. So now you know them either enjoy the site or go and find one which meets your own values."
Again, I agree with you. Rules and boundaries that I accept fully, and did not transgress. And note concession to chat-room harmony I've made above. However, whether I can enjoy the site is another issue altogether, as I have been banned. :(
Mark: "PS In the chatroom rules it says: At all times please follow the directions of any Sysop that may be on duty in the room."
As stated above, I exited briefly to read the rules (including the one mentioned above) came back in, asked a question, was threatened with a ban if I “arguedâ€. Obeyed that rule from the op, didn’t argue, stated my intention to leave it there and take it up with the site owners, and still got banned. So once again, didn’t break any rules, obeyed the instruction from the op, and still got banned. Go figure...
Roger743: “Repeated advertising - whether you bother to rewrite the adverts - is one of the most frustrating things about the chatroom. It's boring, it's uninteresting, it asks for the community's indulgence whilst giving nothing
Accepted it’s boring (to some) and uninteresting (to some) but again, it doesn’t break the rules, and as stated above I find the majority of what I read in the chatroom to be tedious or of no interest to me whatsoever. However I don’t feel the need to castigate people for it. I simply ignore it…
“Nobody wants to see you advertising apart from the people who reply to you, and if you need to keep re-advertising every 3 minutes then it's a fair bet nobody's replying to
And those people who are interested and reply to me have every right to see my message and have the opportunity to reply to it. Let’s face it Roger, no one is interested in any ads except the ones they are interested in are they? That’s rather stating the obvious isn’t it? And to no point...
As to who does and doesn’t reply – asked and answered above.
“Because it's boring for the audience - ie every other person in that
Surely if “every other person†in the chatroom finds it boring, then that implies that every other person in the room doesn’t find it boring? Again, you have every right to be bored with it, just as others have every right to find it of interest to them. Is there something wrong with that? What would you suggest? A new chatroom rule “Every message must be of interest to every member of the chatroom� Now just imagine how boring that would be.
“Your point seems to be along the lines of "hey, I don't care if I piss people off - I JUST WANNA GET LAID!" - I'm sure it's no surprise if people aren't too enamoured with that
If that were the case, people would be quite right to feel none too enamoured.
However it isn’t the case. It’s as simple as this. I don’t want to piss anyone off. I do however want to get laid (for the hundredth time it’s a swingers site!) and I will go into the chat room, place my message and request a private chat with those who are interested. While I’m doing that I will endeavour not to contravene any chat room rules, will certainly not be abusive or discuss any potentially illegal/offensive subjects either publicly or privately. While I’m in there I will respect your right to be bored or uninterested with what I have to say while I hope you will respect my right to be bored or uninterested by what you have to say. Accordingly I will ignore anything that I find doesn’t interest or concern me. In short I will MIND MY OWN BUSINESS WHILE YOU MIND YOURS.
Is that unreasonable Roger?
But it's sad to see someone obviously so eloquent devolve into a ranting
So, let me get this straight. I have the courtesy to take the time to give a full and carefully considered response to all points raised (the ideal for a debate such as this surely?) while others indulge in name calling and petty personal abuse, yet I am the “ranting idiot� Interesting reasoning Roger…
Jeezus! 3:30 in the morning. Off to bandage bleeding fingers and then to bed. Nite all! :wink:
Sex God
As only an occassional user of the chat room, I have no vested interest in taking one side verses another in this arguement. I'm only butting in now to make an observation or two.
Boltguy, I'm not going to go over what had been said already, except to say that you are obviously certained about not breaking rules. It has clearly been stated that the op on duty felt that were were breaking the rules and annoying people by your repetitive posts. Therefore, even if you felt you were unfairly treated, your behaviour was seen as a breach of the rules on that occassion. Arguing with the ops just makes matters worse cos it starts to waste people's time. That is not a good way to get on with people in the chat room, as in real life.
Yes, this is a swinger's site and people come on here just to get laid. Fin, no problem with that, provided you do it in a way that doesn't annoy folk. Your method DID annoy people, so why not change your approach?
In future, why not try to take part in conversations? It is a CHAT room - so CHAT! Spamming the site with one liners is not chatting.
As we say often on the forum, the best way to get success from this site is to chat to people in a way that you would in real life. You wouldn't go up to someone in the street and say "Hey, I've got 8 inches, fancy a fuck?" - would you? So why do you think it is OK to do that here? get yourself known on the site is the most sure-fire way of gaetting laid.
If you can't be bothered with chatting, maybe this site isn't the best one for you? If you want instant sex, a swingers site of any description is not the place to be. Instant sex is best got from escorts who's job it is to give you instant sex. Just cos we're swingers doesn't mean we'll all leap at the offer of some instant sex! Some will, but most won't.
Now, all that said, why not learn from this and move on. Like I said, get youself known on the site. Let people know the real you and maybe you will become part of the community and you will make some friends, everything else after that is a bonus.
Boltguy, I'm not going to go over what had been said already, except to say that you are obviously certained about not breaking rules. It has clearly been stated that the op on duty felt that were were breaking the rules and annoying people by your repetitive posts. Therefore, even if you felt you were unfairly treated, your behaviour was seen as a breach of the rules on that occassion. Arguing with the ops just makes matters worse cos it starts to waste people's time. That is not a good way to get on with people in the chat room, as in real life.
Yes, this is a swinger's site and people come on here just to get laid. Fin, no problem with that, provided you do it in a way that doesn't annoy folk. Your method DID annoy people, so why not change your approach?
In future, why not try to take part in conversations? It is a CHAT room - so CHAT! Spamming the site with one liners is not chatting.
As we say often on the forum, the best way to get success from this site is to chat to people in a way that you would in real life. You wouldn't go up to someone in the street and say "Hey, I've got 8 inches, fancy a fuck?" - would you? So why do you think it is OK to do that here? get yourself known on the site is the most sure-fire way of gaetting laid.
If you can't be bothered with chatting, maybe this site isn't the best one for you? If you want instant sex, a swingers site of any description is not the place to be. Instant sex is best got from escorts who's job it is to give you instant sex. Just cos we're swingers doesn't mean we'll all leap at the offer of some instant sex! Some will, but most won't.
Now, all that said, why not learn from this and move on. Like I said, get youself known on the site. Let people know the real you and maybe you will become part of the community and you will make some friends, everything else after that is a bonus.
