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are single men swingers?

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If you look at my success rate then no :lol2:
The argument for yes is that swinging is a lifestyle choice which I think its a bit of balls in all honesty. A lot are here just for the sex until they can get another relationship. The only ones I would call swingers are the ones who put in their profile "looking for a partner in the scene" and not just to get into clubs with lol
I don't see us as swingers as such, as we have only met guys. What I do feel is the feeling of sexual liberation where by my attitude towards sex has changed. Not that I devalue it but I realise you can have sex for pleasure and fun outside of normal boundaries instilled in us from upbringing.
I only see couples that swap with other couples as true swingers, so anyone that is not doing that I personally wouldn't class as a true swinger in the old sense of the word, so that includes us.
So I would say I am a sexual liberated person with a mindset that hold sex as an important factor within life to be enjoyed and not just given away.
I don't know what that makes me. wink
This question always annoys me when it comes up.....
Who has the right to "label" anyone as anything... for a community that is supposed to be open-minded, there are a lot people who don't display it....
I'll come back later when i have calmed down a little....
Quote by fabio
This question always annoys me when it comes up.....
Who has the right to "label" anyone as anything... for a community that is supposed to be open-minded, there are a lot people who don't display it....
I'll come back later when i have calmed down a little....

Everything has to have a label, that is how things are indentified and seperated for one another.
You label someone as a nurse, as they are a nurse. You label a doctor as a doctor.
The label swinger is the same, it does have a meaning .. When someone states that they are a swinger you understand what they do. Instead of being angry because of the label being used, you maybe should understand what the label is.
In general the term swinger means
A person who has sexual encounters with numerous people who they are not dating and do not intend to date.
So using that term then a single male, single female or couple can be label a swinger
Quote by fabio
This question always annoys me when it comes up.....
Who has the right to "label" anyone as anything... for a community that is supposed to be open-minded, there are a lot people who don't display it....
I'll come back later when i have calmed down a little....

Who's putting a label on who?
I think people are giving their own interpretation of a word meaning as they see it.
The pure fact we are all here in swinging heaven means somebody gave it a name, and we knew where to look to find what we all would like.
Define a "swinger."
It's a mindset- not something that can be defined with tick boxes.
Expand upon the "logic" that only couples can swing, and then start asking "are they swingers if they're not married?" "are they swingers if they soft swap?" "are they swingers if they only meet guys/girls?" Etc etc...
and are single women swingers?
If I want to label myself as a "swinger"... then I will...
If I don't want to label myself as a "swinger"... then I won't...
I get to decide what I label myself as... no one else
heck... I can label myself as a "professional stunt idiot" if I want....but again that is MY decision.... no one elses.....
Quote by Witchy
and are single women swingers?

only when they become part of what someone else wants..... after all... apparently its all about the couples..right!!
I've had enough today.... rolleyes
Quote by fabio
If I want to label myself as a "swinger"... then I will...
If I don't want to label myself as a "swinger"... then I won't...
I get to decide what I label myself as... no one else
heck... I can label myself as a "professional stunt idiot" if I want....but again that is MY decision.... no one elses.....

But you can not do that .. It is for other people to label you .. You can not label yourself a doctor and walking to to hospital calling yourself a doctor.
Labels are there to indentify people as different things. When you walk into a shop, you expect all the cans to have labels on.. ?
Depends how the single guys act i suppose, we dont actively look for single males, doesn't mean we have never or would never play with one. But there are guys on here who are just after a shag at all costs, generally these are the ones who whisper you pester you and wink or mail you dispite the fact that you say in your profile that you are not looking for them.
Now in the mids room - on the chat on server 3 - there are at least two great examples of what we would class as swinging single males. They chat in the room, attend socials, can hold a decent conversation and have never once been pushy. We get on well with them and all though we have never played with them they dont shun us or think were not going to talk to them as i'm not going to get anything out of it - and that is how the rest of the guys on here should be, if anyone said to us were thinking of meeting so and so well we'd say we've not played with them but you prob wont meet a nicer chap.
I had always thought that it involved a married couple meeting similar couples. perhaps they should never have started including singles and it would have been easier to identify them as entirely of a certain type.
But there are now so many 'mental flowcharts' at work that many more people can consider themselves as candidates on the route to a good shag. But equally it has made it more difficult to conclusively identify a characteristic type.
But somehow floating singles or temporary partners don't have quite the same clout as a married couple who are pursuing a sexual adventure. Which they do so in quite a definite way.
For some its quite a low key arrangement. But in recent years and due to sites such as this the scope of swinging has broadened bringing in a raft of new contenders, who quite rightly feel up to the job.
Making what was once a home made arrangement, where the couple had a lot more control; into a melting pot of ideas and interests.
I have a couple of swingers does that count?
single men can be anything they want.
If they have to pass some kind of test before they become swingers... can I test 'em ?
Ummmm same for the single women too.... they are stacked and don't have baldy bits.
I am happy to find out more about anybody who is happy to have sex with no strings.
I dont like labels.
How would you know what was inside the tin? lol
lol
suck it and see of course.
What defines a swinger from the simply promiscuous? (No value judgments by the way on promiscuity, just a handy word)
Is it the acceptance of what your partner does?
I mean a woman or man who was promiscuous but objected to their partner doing the same thing doesn't sound a swinger to me.
I can't call myself a true swinger as I don't have a partner to share adventures with but temperamentally I am. I like to talk with people who are swingers, I'd enjoy playing with them were I lucky and I admire their attitude to each others pleasures. I believe I am immune to the concept of sexual possessiveness.
But I agree to the distrust of labels. People are varied and different. Once you pop a label on something you define what that label can or cannot do.
Better a signpost than a label. Then you can always escape from the chosen path down some lane or over the open fields.
i think your topic heading need's correcting. . . You maybe should say single ppl as a single female or single male . . . To me any ppl who meet up for sex and swap about be it 3 ppl or more then fair to say they are all swingers but then again why name anything at all why cant we all be ppl who love sex of all types be it 3some's or more or just meetin up as 1 to 1 . . . We are all on this site to try and get sex and its that simple. . I would like to maybe make some friends along the way too x x mark
Quote by Witchy
Define a "swinger."
It's a mindset- not something that can be defined with tick boxes.
Expand upon the "logic" that only couples can swing, and then start asking "are they swingers if they're not married?" "are they swingers if they soft swap?" "are they swingers if they only meet guys/girls?" Etc etc...
and are single women swingers?
I am single and deff a " swinger" wink
trav..
We just love it when fab gets angry
J&T
I am not sure if the original question is relevent anymore these days.
Single women seem to be acceptably inclusive with swingers ( or elusive), which I suppose must include the well endowed, 'black men especially welcome', whipping boys, tv, cd, bi curious and so on. ie anyone who isn't a single hetero male. Or indeed whatever people advertise for and don't warn everyone as being unwelcome.
So the question must be are these other people swingers? well quite obviously so. Its arguable that they fulfill the full clipboard and tick boxes. But presumably have enough credibility to qualify for swinger status, sanctioned by general opinion and subject to last minute decision.
Clearly there must be some kind of pecking order and place settings but at least they all get invited to dinner.
So it seems pointless discussing the viability of single hetero males. The appear to be a non entity.
I had someone at work come and ask me what swinging was, she was actually fairly embarrassed that she didn't understand it.
My answer was, swinging is what ever you want it to be :thumbup:
Quote by Dawnie
I had someone at work come and ask me what swinging was, she was actually fairly embarrassed that she didn't understand it.
My answer was, swinging is what ever you want it to be :thumbup:

Did that help her understand?
Without single males there would be no mfm or mmmmmmmmf, i have been single swinging, i have been married swinging and now as a widower, single swinging again.
Too many times when you say your are a single male swinger most peoples reaction is "your a cat flap" ie a bi sexual male, not everyone is, (no offence to those who are)
Unenlightened people label us what they want too, single male swingers dont have to be single they can be married or in a relationship with a partner of either sex; who is aware or not aware of what they do; who cares, not us single males, and not the single females who are married or in relationships whom i have known.
We fill a gap in the market that is required and eagerly searched for.
I thought swinging was "having sex with multiple partners" of either sex not limited to "wife swapping" there is nothing to stipulate who those partners should be, what sex, colour or creed as long as its between consenting adults and its enjoyed by all concerned.
M
The swinging life is a change from the sexual limitations imposed by common society. To apply limitations to our fellow members of this life is silly. Of course we have our own limitations of what we like to do. But to say "I'm a swinger but you're not" is wrong.
If we are participating in the swinging life then, surely, we are swingers.
To try to differentiate always seems to result in some people being given less acceptance than others.
Hell, we face enough discrimination 'out there', we don't need it in here.
Just to add my two pennerth for what it is worth, I think that swinging is a frame of mind and mostly and "open" frame of mind. There are, and always will be, some singles - both male and female - who will give the single person a bad name in this scene. I have seen many many singles who think that swinging is just an easy way to get a shag without any ties. However the true swinging single has the ability to be discrete, and understanding of the wants and needs of the people they swing with. They are truely non-judgemental and generally have good manners!
I also think that those that behave normally and respect peoples boundaries are those that last in this scene. The rest get what they deserve!!!
I think what is upsetting for many single guys is the level of discrimination used in profiles and adverts.
ie if a couple wishes to be taken seriously they think the best thing to do is warn off any single hetero males. So the advert contains a mixed up message which is defensive and equally threatening in some cases.
Its this combination of the casual and obligatory vilifying of the single hetero which seems to have become part of the advertisers language. And in most cases I don't think they mean it or realise what they are doing.
It just seems unnecessary.
According to wikipedia...
"
Swinging, sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple."
"
so, I think, that means yes.
I take it as a yes, anyway.
Anyone is entirely at liberty to disagree with me.
the wording is a little ambiguous.
Wikipedia :giggle: - reliable eh?
Aside from that - I started the scene as a single male and was a gent from the outset - met my girl who was a single female and now are a swinging couple - you just cant stick a label on someone as suggested before in other posts of this nature - its a lifestyle and mental attiude combo with a side order of understanding......shame we still get the spoons here who think its a shagging emporium where anyone will have you..... wink