If you look at my success rate then no :lol2:
This question always annoys me when it comes up.....
Who has the right to "label" anyone as anything... for a community that is supposed to be open-minded, there are a lot people who don't display it....
I'll come back later when i have calmed down a little....
Define a "swinger."
It's a mindset- not something that can be defined with tick boxes.
Expand upon the "logic" that only couples can swing, and then start asking "are they swingers if they're not married?" "are they swingers if they soft swap?" "are they swingers if they only meet guys/girls?" Etc etc...
and are single women swingers?
If I want to label myself as a "swinger"... then I will...
If I don't want to label myself as a "swinger"... then I won't...
I get to decide what I label myself as... no one else
heck... I can label myself as a "professional stunt idiot" if I want....but again that is MY decision.... no one elses.....
Depends how the single guys act i suppose, we dont actively look for single males, doesn't mean we have never or would never play with one. But there are guys on here who are just after a shag at all costs, generally these are the ones who whisper you pester you and wink or mail you dispite the fact that you say in your profile that you are not looking for them.
Now in the mids room - on the chat on server 3 - there are at least two great examples of what we would class as swinging single males. They chat in the room, attend socials, can hold a decent conversation and have never once been pushy. We get on well with them and all though we have never played with them they dont shun us or think were not going to talk to them as i'm not going to get anything out of it - and that is how the rest of the guys on here should be, if anyone said to us were thinking of meeting so and so well we'd say we've not played with them but you prob wont meet a nicer chap.
I had always thought that it involved a married couple meeting similar couples. perhaps they should never have started including singles and it would have been easier to identify them as entirely of a certain type.
But there are now so many 'mental flowcharts' at work that many more people can consider themselves as candidates on the route to a good shag. But equally it has made it more difficult to conclusively identify a characteristic type.
But somehow floating singles or temporary partners don't have quite the same clout as a married couple who are pursuing a sexual adventure. Which they do so in quite a definite way.
For some its quite a low key arrangement. But in recent years and due to sites such as this the scope of swinging has broadened bringing in a raft of new contenders, who quite rightly feel up to the job.
Making what was once a home made arrangement, where the couple had a lot more control; into a melting pot of ideas and interests.
I have a couple of swingers does that count?
single men can be anything they want.
If they have to pass some kind of test before they become swingers... can I test 'em ?
Ummmm same for the single women too.... they are stacked and don't have baldy bits.
I am happy to find out more about anybody who is happy to have sex with no strings.
I dont like labels.
lol
suck it and see of course.
What defines a swinger from the simply promiscuous? (No value judgments by the way on promiscuity, just a handy word)
Is it the acceptance of what your partner does?
I mean a woman or man who was promiscuous but objected to their partner doing the same thing doesn't sound a swinger to me.
I can't call myself a true swinger as I don't have a partner to share adventures with but temperamentally I am. I like to talk with people who are swingers, I'd enjoy playing with them were I lucky and I admire their attitude to each others pleasures. I believe I am immune to the concept of sexual possessiveness.
But I agree to the distrust of labels. People are varied and different. Once you pop a label on something you define what that label can or cannot do.
Better a signpost than a label. Then you can always escape from the chosen path down some lane or over the open fields.
i think your topic heading need's correcting. . . You maybe should say single ppl as a single female or single male . . . To me any ppl who meet up for sex and swap about be it 3 ppl or more then fair to say they are all swingers but then again why name anything at all why cant we all be ppl who love sex of all types be it 3some's or more or just meetin up as 1 to 1 . . . We are all on this site to try and get sex and its that simple. . I would like to maybe make some friends along the way too x x mark
We just love it when fab gets angry
J&T
I am not sure if the original question is relevent anymore these days.
Single women seem to be acceptably inclusive with swingers ( or elusive), which I suppose must include the well endowed, 'black men especially welcome', whipping boys, tv, cd, bi curious and so on. ie anyone who isn't a single hetero male. Or indeed whatever people advertise for and don't warn everyone as being unwelcome.
So the question must be are these other people swingers? well quite obviously so. Its arguable that they fulfill the full clipboard and tick boxes. But presumably have enough credibility to qualify for swinger status, sanctioned by general opinion and subject to last minute decision.
Clearly there must be some kind of pecking order and place settings but at least they all get invited to dinner.
So it seems pointless discussing the viability of single hetero males. The appear to be a non entity.
I had someone at work come and ask me what swinging was, she was actually fairly embarrassed that she didn't understand it.
My answer was, swinging is what ever you want it to be :thumbup:
Without single males there would be no mfm or mmmmmmmmf, i have been single swinging, i have been married swinging and now as a widower, single swinging again.
Too many times when you say your are a single male swinger most peoples reaction is "your a cat flap" ie a bi sexual male, not everyone is, (no offence to those who are)
Unenlightened people label us what they want too, single male swingers dont have to be single they can be married or in a relationship with a partner of either sex; who is aware or not aware of what they do; who cares, not us single males, and not the single females who are married or in relationships whom i have known.
We fill a gap in the market that is required and eagerly searched for.
I thought swinging was "having sex with multiple partners" of either sex not limited to "wife swapping" there is nothing to stipulate who those partners should be, what sex, colour or creed as long as its between consenting adults and its enjoyed by all concerned.
M
The swinging life is a change from the sexual limitations imposed by common society. To apply limitations to our fellow members of this life is silly. Of course we have our own limitations of what we like to do. But to say "I'm a swinger but you're not" is wrong.
If we are participating in the swinging life then, surely, we are swingers.
To try to differentiate always seems to result in some people being given less acceptance than others.
Hell, we face enough discrimination 'out there', we don't need it in here.
Just to add my two pennerth for what it is worth, I think that swinging is a frame of mind and mostly and "open" frame of mind. There are, and always will be, some singles - both male and female - who will give the single person a bad name in this scene. I have seen many many singles who think that swinging is just an easy way to get a shag without any ties. However the true swinging single has the ability to be discrete, and understanding of the wants and needs of the people they swing with. They are truely non-judgemental and generally have good manners!
I also think that those that behave normally and respect peoples boundaries are those that last in this scene. The rest get what they deserve!!!
I think what is upsetting for many single guys is the level of discrimination used in profiles and adverts.
ie if a couple wishes to be taken seriously they think the best thing to do is warn off any single hetero males. So the advert contains a mixed up message which is defensive and equally threatening in some cases.
Its this combination of the casual and obligatory vilifying of the single hetero which seems to have become part of the advertisers language. And in most cases I don't think they mean it or realise what they are doing.
It just seems unnecessary.
According to wikipedia...
"
Swinging, sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple."
"
so, I think, that means yes.
I take it as a yes, anyway.
Anyone is entirely at liberty to disagree with me.
the wording is a little ambiguous.