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Artificial spunk..... any ideas?
Sex God
Whenever I've mixed wallpaper paste and let it stand for a few hours it's always struck me that it looks like a bucket load of spunk, whitish with globules in it and clear bits of liquid too.
If you leave spunk for long enough it just turns into a sort of clear liquid so don't bother to save it up for a week or two and then try using it. You'll be disappointed!
Hmmmmmmmmmm............ maybe if you freeze it though this won't happen but make sure you thaw it out first as spunk ice cubes mightn't look very spontaneous!
:lol:
If you leave spunk for long enough it just turns into a sort of clear liquid so don't bother to save it up for a week or two and then try using it. You'll be disappointed!
Hmmmmmmmmmm............ maybe if you freeze it though this won't happen but make sure you thaw it out first as spunk ice cubes mightn't look very spontaneous!
:lol: One must suffer for one's art.... sooooooo...... I'm afraid you have to refrain from ejaculating for at least two weeks (or until your balls ache - whichever cums first ..... pun intended) ...... you will know when you are ready ..... in the meantime eat plenty of garlic and strong spicy food as this not only adds to the taste (I'm assuming you want her to lick it up later) but also adds to the consistency ........ now ........
...... all things in place ..... balls sufficiently aching ..... place said DigiCam in the required position ... please said missus in desired position ......... place said fluffers (if any) in the desired position ........ and go with the flow (again, pun intended)...
...possible hiccups:
Said missus actually having hiccups, in which case .... the camera will be out of focus and you will miss the target zone.
Said hubby actually having hiccups, in which case .... it's the decorators in again
Said fluffers actually having hiccups, in which case .... don't let their mouths anywhere near your cock if you wish it to remain attached to your body
Said DigiCam actually having hiccups, (well, it could happen!), in which case.... you should have bought a good one you tight arsed git!
Why are we having this conversation anyway ...... seems such a waste of time and effort ...... just fuck her and get on with it man! .... hehehe
...... all things in place ..... balls sufficiently aching ..... place said DigiCam in the required position ... please said missus in desired position ......... place said fluffers (if any) in the desired position ........ and go with the flow (again, pun intended)...
...possible hiccups:
Said missus actually having hiccups, in which case .... the camera will be out of focus and you will miss the target zone.
Said hubby actually having hiccups, in which case .... it's the decorators in again
Said fluffers actually having hiccups, in which case .... don't let their mouths anywhere near your cock if you wish it to remain attached to your body
Said DigiCam actually having hiccups, (well, it could happen!), in which case.... you should have bought a good one you tight arsed git!
Why are we having this conversation anyway ...... seems such a waste of time and effort ...... just fuck her and get on with it man! .... hehehe
Quote by Eagerslut9
Hmmmmmmmmmm............ maybe if you freeze it though this won't happen but make sure you thaw it out first as spunk ice cubes mightn't look very spontaneous!
Though if you rub them on the nipples first you can get those nipple erect in no time.....
just don't go for a "splatter" type effect when you fling your frozen cum on your missis... not unless she is wearing H&S approved goggles...
wouldn't want you to explain down the local Accident and Emergency that your wifes eye injury was caused by you lobbing lumps of frozen cum at her..... :shock:
Sex God
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
hey i have a good idear! :bounce: :bounce:
get a Tupperware box and cum in that..... after you have cum put it in the freezer!
next time you want to cum.......... get it out the freezer and cum in it again.........and put it back again in the freezer!.......... do that till you have enough cum frozen!
then just defrost it............ and pour it over your womens tits!
Problem solved
oo im brillent! :smug:
get a Tupperware box and cum in that..... after you have cum put it in the freezer!
next time you want to cum.......... get it out the freezer and cum in it again.........and put it back again in the freezer!.......... do that till you have enough cum frozen!
then just defrost it............ and pour it over your womens tits!
Problem solved
oo im brillent! :smug:
ops: Quote by Debbiewebs
hey i have a good idear! :bounce: :bounce:
get a Tupperware box and cum in that..... after you have cum put it in the freezer!
next time you want to cum.......... get it out the freezer and cum in it again.........and put it back again in the freezer!.......... do that till you have enough cum frozen!
then just defrost it............ and pour it over your womens tits!
Problem solved
oo im brillent! :smug:
erm..... I thought it was us fella's who were supposed to ignore women, nick all their best ideas and claim them as our own??????
Quote by Debbiewebs
hey i have a good idear! :bounce: :bounce:
get a Tupperware box and cum in that..... after you have cum put it in the freezer!
next time you want to cum.......... get it out the freezer and cum in it again.........and put it back again in the freezer!.......... do that till you have enough cum frozen!
then just defrost it............ and pour it over your womens tits!
Problem solved
oo im brillent! :smug:
debs what ya like.......your a dirty buggar
:lol: :lol: kazswallows
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 7:14 pm Post subject:
Why not use the real thing :lol: :lol: :lol:
Ejaculate in a cup or durex, then sprinkle it on her, take the piccie and bobs ure uncle
f
but there again if you are so am I :lol: :lol: :lol:
Sex God
An awfull lot of good suggestions already, however I would reccommend something from the 'Mr Men' range of yoghurts. They have a thin consistency, are cheap, are presented in very pretty coloured pots that can be re used as....... 'very usefull for something pots' afterwards...... and currently attract double club card points if purchased in conjunction with a double pack of garlic bread and 6 months AA cover. This may be a bigger bonus than it at first appears because if the yoghurts do not work then at least you will know "a man that can"..........just give the garlic bread away cos it will make the house smell.
Sexpert
Quote by niceguysdoexist
I always thought wall paper paste looked a bit similar ... and it sounds like you may be re-decorating if your mate has hit the wall..... so... (you see , it just meshes together so well...)
Wallpaper paste doesn't really hack it as semen .......and semen doesn't keep wallpaper up
Tell you what, it's great at sticking sheets together niceguy
Warming the Bed
Gaviscon indigestion medicine(peppermint flavour) is spot nice,so you can lick it off and it'll do you good too. 
Sexpert
Quote by jonno
Gaviscon indigestion medicine(peppermint flavour) is spot nice,so you can lick it off and it'll do you good too.
and no heartburn either
brilliant :roll:no one seems to have mentioned the tits, they are huge, :!:
Get this right soon but can i put myself forward in the interest's of science as a willing volunteer SHIT just don't tell the wife gets a bit of a complex you know :roll:
