Artificial spunk..... any ideas?

13 Jun 2005

An unusual enquiry.....
My missus has unfeasibly large and firm breasts, which look absolutely delightful when I come over them.
I would like to capture this tableau for posterity, but Sod's Law applies to this, as in all human endeavours.
When I happen to have the desired placing, consistency and quantity, I never have my camera handy. But when I try to set the scene up deliberately, it's always one of those days when I don't produce enough to cover such a vast acreage, or it looks like baby's dribble, or it's a pearl-necklace job (well, YOU try aiming accurately.... to say nothing of the recoil effect from such a large calibre weapon). Yes, I AM lying.
Soz.
Anyway.... Even when I roped in a young friend as an assistant, it didn't work. He got so excited that he went off like a fire-extinguisher, missed completely, and re-plastered half the wall. And you can hardly ask for a re-take.
So my question is this. Anyone got any ideas on a synthetuic substitute, for photographic purposes? Tried handcream, baby lotion, flour-n-water; none of it looks right. Anyone here from the porno industry?
Mike

13 Jun 2005

everyone knows you use watered down icing sugar blink

now dont go licking it up after as too much sugar makes you teeth fall out

13 Jun 2005

What an odd question :shock:
Anyways... that aside, I'd say that nothing really looks like the real thing, so what you need is about 10 guys to cum at once over your wife while you take the pics.
Easy really. I look forward to reading your ad wink

:wink: :wink:

13 Jun 2005

Quote by rachel-lane
everyone knows you use watered down icing sugar
now dont go licking it up after as too much sugar makes you teeth fall out

I didn't know that, sweet and innocent me redface

Why not just leave the camera handy all the time?

13 Jun 2005

Or there's an easier way still ( if you've got a digi-cam that is lol ).
Set up a digi-vidcam on a stand next to the bed , make sure its recording your missus' top half and when ya come it'll be on tape. Scan the film into your pc. You can then go thru it frame by frame till you get a good piccy and grab that image as a photo. Save it to your desktop and there ya go lol.
Davie

13 Jun 2005

Was gonna say:
Very watery icing sugar, or keep the camera handy. Bot as both things have been said... I'll not bother.

13 Jun 2005

Quote by freckledbird
everyone knows you use watered down icing sugar
now dont go licking it up after as too much sugar makes you teeth fall out

I didn't know that, sweet and innocent me redface

You didn't know that too much sugar makes your teeth fall out? You might well surprised

ops:. What are you teaching them in science then?

13 Jun 2005

Quote by northwest-cpl
everyone knows you use watered down icing sugar
now dont go licking it up after as too much sugar makes you teeth fall out

I didn't know that, sweet and innocent me redface

You didn't know that too much sugar makes your teeth fall out? You might well surprised

ops:. What are you teaching them in science then?
Sex, of course :lol:

13 Jun 2005

I always thought wall paper paste looked abitsimilar ... and it sounds like you may be re-decorating if your mate has hit the wall..... so... (you see , it just meshes together so well...)

13 Jun 2005

That's a good thought, Postie, but wouldn't myt mate be exhausted, by the time we'd papered the whole room?
.....oh. I see what you mean.

13 Jun 2005

Quote by postie
I always thought wall paper paste looked a bit similar ... and it sounds like you may be re-decorating if your mate has hit the wall..... so... (you see , it just meshes together so well...)

Wallpaper paste doesn't really hack it as semen .......and semen doesn't keep wallpaper up rolleyes

13 Jun 2005

Quote by garden
That's a good thought, Postie, but wouldn't myt mate be exhausted, by the time we'd papered the whole room?
.....oh. I see what you mean.

Well, I guess it beats DIY .....for your mate... lol

13 Jun 2005

Quote by bluexxx
What an odd question :shock:
Anyways... that aside, I'd say that nothing really looks like the real thing, so what you need is about 10 guys to cum at once over your wife while you take the pics.
Easy really. I look forward to reading your ad :wink: :wink:

sound advice as usual there blue lol

13 Jun 2005

Quote by garden
Anyway.... Even when I roped in a young friend as an assistant, it didn't work. He got so excited that he went off like a fire-extinguisher, missed completely, and re-plastered half the wall. And you can hardly ask for a re-take.

Just a secondary thought, presuming that's your wife in your avatar.....
..... but how the fuck did he miss????
:shock:
Was he facing the wrong way or something???

13 Jun 2005

I'm no sort of scientist, but I'd say High Curvature Factor. And youth.

13 Jun 2005

use lube that looks like it ;)
jo xxx

13 Jun 2005

:shock:

13 Jun 2005

Quote by sexybbwnw
I work with young people and part of my job is to do condom demos. We use hair conditioner - just get an own brand one, very cheap and consistency and colour can be very good match!

The last hair conditioner I bought was pink :shock:
OK, OK, it was a long time ago rolleyes

13 Jun 2005

Quote by bluexxx
I work with young people and part of my job is to do condom demos. We use hair conditioner - just get an own brand one, very cheap and consistency and colour can be very good match!

The last hair conditioner I bought was pink :shock:
OK, OK, it was a long time ago rolleyes

My hair conditioner is a sort of pale purple colour!!!!!
Hohw about watered down cornflour? would that work? or get a photographer in to take the pics while you play.......

13 Jun 2005

cottage cheese
yummy

13 Jun 2005

Why not use the real thing lol

:lol: :lol:
Ejaculate in a cup or durex, then sprinkle it on her, take the piccie and bobs ure uncle
:lol: :lol: :lol:

13 Jun 2005

Quote by kazswallows
Why not use the real thing :lol: :lol:
Ejaculate in a cup or durex, then sprinkle it on her, take the piccie and bobs ure uncle
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Better still? Save it in a old jam jar and top it up with your efforts over a week or so and there you have it.... instant bukkake party. Use a syringe maybe to simulate your streaming and now super-charged love hose.
Whilst harvesting your juice, store it in the fridge to prevent noxious niffs. Don't confuse it with egg white.

13 Jun 2005

Quote by blueis
Why not use the real thing :lol: :lol:
Ejaculate in a cup or durex, then sprinkle it on her, take the piccie and bobs ure uncle
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Better still? Save it in a old jam jar and top it up with your efforts over a week or so and there you have it.... instant bukkake party. Use a syringe maybe to simulate your streaming and now super-charged love hose.
Whilst harvesting your juice, store it in the fridge to prevent noxious niffs. Don't confuse it with egg white.
take the jam out of it first :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

13 Jun 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
What an odd question :shock:
Anyways... that aside, I'd say that nothing really looks like the real thing, so what you need is about 10 guys to cum at once over your wife while you take the pics.
Easy really. I look forward to reading your ad :wink: :wink:

sound advice as usual there blue lol
if you ever place that ad count me in smile

....
well aslong as you dont mind my partner coming to watch ;)
dear god my missus needs a woman in knakered

13 Jun 2005

Look in the photo ads. Plenty heavy cummers there apparently. Borrow some? dunno

13 Jun 2005

Quote by redstilletto
cottage cheese
yummy

cotage cheese? well.. will have to consider that one a bit

13 Jun 2005

acetone (nail varnish remover)poured onto a cigarette filter(with the paper taken off)only a few drops mind,looks identical,,used to leave it on toilet seats at college for a laugh,,ooh sweet memories lol

13 Jun 2005

Quote by postie
I always thought wall paper paste looked a bit similar ... and it sounds like you may be re-decorating if your mate has hit the wall..... so... (you see , it just meshes together so well...)

Our wallpaper paste was pink, so you could see where you'd missed. I guess someone needs a trip to the docs/std clinic. :shock: :shock: :shock:
I was going to say icing sugar and water as well, but as it's already been said, I'll say nothing. :gagged:

13 Jun 2005

cant help thinking that nail varnish remover and fag ends are not the best things in the world to be putting on your wifes tits confused

:? :?

13 Jun 2005

condanced........milk wink

:wink: