You know the sort of thing, you hurt yourself by accident and clever-clogs asys "What did you go and do that for?" (answer is of course "Cause I wanted to feel the experience of excruciating pain just for the hell of it.")
The funniest silly question and priceless answer I have heard (so far):
Guy gets his truck jammed under a low bridge, copper walks up and asks
"Did you get your truck stuck?"
Lorry driver replies: "No, I was delivering the bridge and ran out of fuel."
:silly:
got any more?
newt xx
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Ask a silly question... (a bit of fun)
Warming the Bed
Had to just say that was soooooooooooooooooooo funny, how embarrassed did the cop feel hehehehehehe
the old ones are the best... another parent one....
do I look like I was born yesterday???
or how about...
Do I look stupid???
sorry while I am at it...
Does my arse look big in this?
(like we are ever going to say Yes it does dear.... we know what would happen if we did.. and we do honestly love you for the way you are (quick help lads think I need a ladder)
do I look like I was born yesterday???
or how about...
Do I look stupid???
sorry while I am at it...
Does my arse look big in this?
(like we are ever going to say Yes it does dear.... we know what would happen if we did.. and we do honestly love you for the way you are (quick help lads think I need a ladder)
Quote by Feklar
the old ones are the best... another parent one....
do I look like I was born yesterday???
or how about...
Do I look stupid???
sorry while I am at it...
Does my arse look big in this?
(like we are ever going to say Yes it does dear.... we know what would happen if we did.. and we do honestly love you for the way you are (quick help lads think I need a ladder)
Parks the JCB outside and phones the council for a leaflet on "Hole Digging - Best Practice"
Quote by celestria
the old ones are the best... another parent one....
do I look like I was born yesterday???
or how about...
Do I look stupid???
sorry while I am at it...
Does my arse look big in this?
(like we are ever going to say Yes it does dear.... we know what would happen if we did.. and we do honestly love you for the way you are (quick help lads think I need a ladder)
Parks the JCB outside and phones the council for a leaflet on "Hole Digging - Best Practice"
Yeah can I keep the JCB till next year??? please can I go on please you know you want me too... I've even found a nice by pass....
right now lets see...
5th year old with right name.... check (well next year)
By Pass .... check
change name to Bruce Lee ( only take 2 months)
Jcb.... just been delivered... check
Quote by Feklar
Yeah can I keep the JCB till next year??? please can I go on please you know you want me too... I've even found a nice by pass....
right now lets see...
5th year old with right name.... check (well next year)
By Pass .... check
change name to Bruce Lee ( only take 2 months)
Jcb.... just been delivered... check
I spot a fatal flaw in your plan darling... how ever much we both wish you were... you're not his daddy
Sex God
at least he never mentioned polar bears!!!!!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: He is rather partial to full foot in mouth comments isn't he?
:loon: 
:whistling: :whistling:Quote by Sassy-Seren
The old classic from parents......'Do you want a smack?'
What about "if u break your leg don't come running to me"
Just after i broke my nose i had a car crash. I still had the plastic cast on my nose and the copper said u do that in the crash. I said yes i had a cast in the glovebox. :roll:
Warming the Bed
Has anyone else wondered about this?
Your going to work in your car listening to radio 2, and the traffic announcer says:
" There is a lorry with a shed load causing long tailbacks on the M62"
It happens every day so why do they transport bloody sheds by road in the rush hour????
Your going to work in your car listening to radio 2, and the traffic announcer says:
" There is a lorry with a shed load causing long tailbacks on the M62"
It happens every day so why do they transport bloody sheds by road in the rush hour????
This was said to me only this week.......
big group of us (ships crew) chatting, some of us discussing martial arts. Old boy next to me is trying to talk about what makes men agressive.........trying desperately to think of the word testosterone.
Eventually, he turned to me & said "what are men full of?"
I dont think ive ever been fed a line as easy as that, ever!
big group of us (ships crew) chatting, some of us discussing martial arts. Old boy next to me is trying to talk about what makes men agressive.........trying desperately to think of the word testosterone.
Eventually, he turned to me & said "what are men full of?"
I dont think ive ever been fed a line as easy as that, ever!
I always think that "Did you hear me?" is a silly question cos if I had, I would have answered the first time surely!!
I also love the question at the end of the calls from the bank trying to sell me something else I don't need - "Is there anything else I can help you with today?" and the answer should be "Yes, don't bloody call again just as I get in the bath/sit down to tea/am up a ladder cleaning the windows/ or am having a lie in you buggers!!"
But i usually just say "No"...............
:cry:
I also love the question at the end of the calls from the bank trying to sell me something else I don't need - "Is there anything else I can help you with today?" and the answer should be "Yes, don't bloody call again just as I get in the bath/sit down to tea/am up a ladder cleaning the windows/ or am having a lie in you buggers!!"
But i usually just say "No"...............
:cry: 