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Asphyxophilia

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I'm scared for your friends.
There are too many instances of this kinda thing going all Pete Tong, IMHO.
Could they not try bungee jumping or sword swallowing, instead?
I think you're just plain worried for your friends, to be honest - knowing the risks involved in such practices.
I'm not judgementle and believe each to their own but find the thought of stimulating sexual arousal from this kind of practice worrying to say the least :shock: :shock:
I don't think it's weird at all - we all have boundaries and upper limits as to pain etc. It would seem you have found one of your boundaries at least.
I don't believe this topic has been discussed on here before - wow!
I can't say I know very much about it, or know anyone that practices it (not that they've told me anyway).
I guess it depends on how careful your friends are and how far they go.
Like Freckledbird says, I think you are worried for your friends. Perhaps if it makes you feel really that bad you should tell your friend that their business is their business and you don't really want to know any more details.
Asphyxiophilia is the love of suffocating (notice the 'i' after the 'x' for correct spelling) and it is also known as breath play. It can be exhilarating at the right moment with the right partner - the ultimate submission and control. Yes, it can go wrong but your friends you say are intelligent and aware, so why worry? They are not out to kill, they just enjoy a bit of edge play. I am talking from experience here. I am absolutely terrified of not being able to breathe, yet one time during some rough sex a friend placed his hand over my mouth and nose and the rush of adrenalin made it a memorable experience. It was probably a one-off experience for me, but having had that, I am more relaxed about people who engage in this sort of play. After all it is something one does with consent.
No, you're not being selfish - you're being honest with yourself. If he is a really good friend maybe you should be honest with him too - say you are happy that he is happy, but that you feel uncomfortable about what he is telling you. Then you can discuss your feelings together.
Or something like that - I'm not very good at the touchy feely conversations wink
Micheal Hutchens springs to mind here.
I was in a 2 month relationship with a "GASPER" and it was erotic to start with, but that had to end as her requirements for violence increased to a point where i was no longer comfortable.
Each to their own what does it for one does not do it for another.
Quote by Scandal
......a piece of chord was tied to his neck........

Which chord? A Flat maybe? lol
Hate to buck the trend here but i dont think, as long as the couple involved are sensible, that you need worry about them in the way that your implying.
It would be a different case altogether if they were indulging solitarily, then i would be worried.
Assuming that they have a safe word, a safe sign and are intune with each other then i would think the biggest worry is the addictivness of the activity. Like most activities there is often the need to go further and further
I wouldnt worry about your friend talking to you about the subject, hes just found a new pastime , that he likes and that excites him and he wants to talk to someone about it!!Quiet natural really
Quote by foxylady 123
Hate to buck the trend here but i dont think, as long as the couple involved are sensible, that you need worry about them in the way that your implying.
It would be a different case altogether if they were indulging solitarily, then i would be worried.
Assuming that they have a safe word, a safe sign and are intune with each other then i would think the biggest worry is the addictivness of the activity. Like most activities there is often the need to go further and further
I wouldnt worry about your friend talking to you about the subject, hes just found a new pastime , that he likes and that excites him and he wants to talk to someone about it!!Quiet natural really

Yes, I agree with that. It is much more safe being with a partner, and of course only the most "extreme" cases make the news. Just thing of how many people do this sort of thing and are absolutely fine.
Quote by Tania
Asphyxioplia is the love of suffocating (notice the 'i' after the 'x' for correct spelling) and it is also known as breath play. It can be exhilarating at the right moment with the right partner - the ultimate submission and control. Yes, it can go wrong but your friends you say are intelligent and aware, so why worry? They are not out to kill, they just enjoy a bit of edge play. I am talking from experience here. I am absolutely terrified of not being able to breathe, yet one time during some rough sex a friend placed his hand over my mouth and nose and the rush of adrenalin made it a memorable experience. It was probably a one-off experience for me, but having had that, I am more relaxed about people who engage in this sort of play. After all it is something one does with consent.

Is there anything you haven't tried/experienced Tania? From your replies on different threads, it would seem that you have indulged in most activities and yet you seem to lack fulfilment.
I googled 'asphyxioplia' and it couldn't be found. Cambridge online didn't find it either, or the dictionary of difficult words, or a sexual dictionary. They DID find asphyxophilia though.
Agreed ....to each their own "pleasure " However personally I feel this kind of thrill is starting to enter a very dark side of our human nature, occationally I risk my life, in my caving activities but ... l know the risk (part of the thrill) if somthing goes wrong and I accept it , The same goes for many adventure activities but setting out to set yourself up for a very real tragedy seems at least a little sufforcation games. Incidently there was a nasty sort of chap in the middle ages by the name of Gilles de rais who liked sufforcating to death his young victims while them.... as I say this type of thought becomes very black when taken to its (un) natural conclusion.

Don't think I'll bother after reading this.
The implication to me, I might be wrong, is that people end up at such extremes as this because they cant find satisfaction.
I am only drawing my own conclusion, but I would guess that it is a gradual process towards this stage and only happens because what happened previously was insufficient. I would also guess that when they get to this stage anything less in not enough.
I suppose we all reach our own limits, I hope when never feel that we have to take things that far.
Quote by uhuru

Don't think I'll bother after reading this.

No kidding.
Re. earlier posts about deaths being distinguished on grounds of solo players, author of first article says:
"It should be noted that the presence of a partner does nothing to limit the primary danger, and does little or nothing to limit most of the secondary dangers."
why are you so worried about your friends .......
if they enjoy it it s up to them what they do
im sure they both know what they are doing is dangerous
i mean you dont let anyone strangle you :twisted: they must trust each other a lot
lack of oxygen hightens the orgasem
but the trick is knowing when to stop
I dunno . . . . back in the day all this fandangled rope was need to cut of the oxygen supply to the brain . . . but then one day some bright spark said . . . . lest just use Amyl Nitrate instead . . . and from then on everyone one just had heightended sexual expreinces and maybe a slight head ache afterwards instead dying if it all went wrong.
:smug:
Quote by freckledbird
Is there anything you haven't tried/experienced Tania? From your replies on different threads, it would seem that you have indulged in most activities and yet you seem to lack fulfilment.
I googled 'asphyxioplia' and it couldn't be found. Cambridge online didn't find it either, or the dictionary of difficult words, or a sexual dictionary. They DID find asphyxophilia though.

You are right, I mispelled the word, it is asphyxiophilia - grrr, I can't believe in my urgency to post my views I made such a gross mistake! redface Serves me right! lol At least now I know you are reading my posts. wink
As to your question, yes, I have experienced lots of things in my life so far. After all I am much older than you are and when you get to my age and position in life, I am sure there will be some cocky young girl who thinks she knows it all to come and psychoanalyze you. :P
Quote by Tania
You are right, I mispelled the word, it is asphyxiophilia - grrr, I can't believe in my urgency to post my views I made such a gross mistake! redface Serves me right! lol At least now I know you are reading my posts. wink
As to your question, yes, I have experienced lots of things in my life so far. After all I am much older than you are and when you get to my age and position in life, I am sure there will be some cocky young girl who thinks she knows it all to come and psychoanalyze you. :P

:lol: Wish someone would call me that :lol:
Libra Love, you cocky young girl, you! lol
:mrgreen: See, now when you get to MY age those three words together are just magical
At your disposal any time Libra! biggrin
Oh btw, what happened to the puppy?
Very interesting topic De Sade! I don't think you have anything major to worry about, as stated your friend isn't practicing AEA which would be a cause for concern. I presume they're not practicing mutual asphyxophilia - i.e. at the same time, I don't know tons about it but could see a danger if they were trying to experienc it simultaneously?
As for telling your friend your concerns, I suppose it depends on whether he is talking to you about it to express his enjoyment or whether you think he is looking for approval or to be told what he secretly thinks is a step too far, really is a step too far. Do you have any idea what his motivation is for talking about it?
Either way, it can't hurt to express your concerns if you're worried can it? biggrin
Had a brief conversation about this topic at the munch last week (sexy sexy person that y'are if you are reading!!) but I don't think it all at all suggests looking for greater thrills, or becoming bored with eachother etc - it's shows there has to be a lot of trust between the two.
AND it's not to say that if you like a thing it is a large part of your sex life - just the fact that you can think about/discuss doing way off the scale things sometimes is enough wink
Cathy x
Let's go back to the original question
Quote by
I am having a crisis of concience, due to the revelation of a situation that has arisen recently.
...when he explains to me what it does for them both I feel sad. Am I so jaded (I really don't fucking think I am) that I really don't want to understand.
Concience says "be pleased for them" , but I just feel sad.
...I am fully aware of my own sexuality and like so many here on SH have indulged myself in practices that some people outside of this community would find questionable, or deplorable; unacceptable or criminal. So why am I so bothered by what two safe, sane, intelligent individuals are enjoying together.
This is a totally selfish question...I want know why I am bothered.
Am I becoming moral (finally) or just beginning to realise that there are some things even I would not / could not participate in.

Moral is a word that covers a multitutde of sins! I suspect there have always been sexual practices that you wouldn not/could not participate in, if only because it's very hard to enjoy long-term-celibacy, monogamy, swinging and orgies in one lifetime, and that's without even considering illegal non-consensual activities.
I think the reason you are bothered is that there is a conflict between implicit attitudes and your conscious moral stance. Fear of suffocation is a natrual survival instinct, and as such it's diffcult to override your natural feelings on the subject by willpower alone.
Implicit attitudes are an interesting area of discussion, and I have a very good link or two in this area, but since the tests open up a whole can of worms about homophobia, racism and anti-semitism, I think I will do that in a seperate post rather than hijack yours.
I suggest you consider your position by taking the sexuality outt of the equation and go look at freediving , which is practially asphyxophilia turned into a sport instead of an erotic parctice.
Does the idea of taking part in this sport attract or repulse you? If you react strongly against it, then it's probably your survival instinct tht is causing your anxiety about your friend, if you are attracted to the sport, then maybe it is jealousy.
Dident some mp die doing this
on all fours ,orange in his mouth and a bin liner over his head ????
Quote by Tania
Is there anything you haven't tried/experienced Tania? From your replies on different threads, it would seem that you have indulged in most activities and yet you seem to lack fulfilment.
I googled 'asphyxioplia' and it couldn't be found. Cambridge online didn't find it either, or the dictionary of difficult words, or a sexual dictionary. They DID find asphyxophilia though.

You are right, I mispelled the word, it is asphyxiophilia - grrr, I can't believe in my urgency to post my views I made such a gross mistake! redface Serves me right! lol At least now I know you are reading my posts. wink
As to your question, yes, I have experienced lots of things in my life so far. After all I am much older than you are and when you get to my age and position in life, I am sure there will be some cocky young girl who thinks she knows it all to come and psychoanalyze you. :P
Didn't you say that you are 37?
Quote by
After all I am much older than you are and when you get to my age and position in life, I am sure there will be some cocky young girl who thinks she knows it all to come and psychoanalyze you. :P

Don't you just love assumptions.
FB You are now certified as a cocky young girl
Secretly, you must be pleased.

:
Not really, to be honest. I am 40, very happily married, two children aged 13 and 14 and a good job. I have got to 'my position in life' by a lot of hard work and effort. I don't think I know it all (and whatever you say Tania, the inference that I do is definitely there) and I'm not trying to psychoanalyse anyone. I was making an observation based on comments you have made on various threads, regarding what you have done.
I am not old, pregnant, disabled in any way or arthritic and definitely not single. Nor do I claim to have tried everything
confused
Quote by

I am 40, very happily married, two children aged 13 and 14 and a good job. I have got to 'my position in life' by a lot of hard work and effort. I don't think I know it all (and whatever you say Tania, the inference that I do is definitely there) and I'm not trying to psychoanalyse anyone. I was making an observation based on comments you have made on various threads, regarding what you have done.
I am not old, pregnant, disabled in any way or arthritic and definitely not single. Nor do I claim to have tried everything
confused

Errr...........................They weren't my assumptions FB. I have met you remember. I would never have called you a cocky young girl not when it was so blatantly obvious you were a woman. wink

I know they weren't your assumptions biggrin and yes of course I remember meeting you. I don't always act so violently, it was Dave_Notts' fault !
Was that a compliment? If it was, thank you :D :D