Aspirations &amp; Parents

6 Jul 2005

I was having a phone conversation with my mum last week and she was telling me about her previous conversation with my aunt who I hadn't seen for a long time.
My mum told me that my aunt was "very proud of me", "really pleased for me", "really happy for me" etc.. When I asked my mum why my aunt had made those comments, I expected her to say because she told her about my exam results. I should of known better.
Instead, it was because, according to my mother, "i have found a nice man". mad

and by the way, I didn't bother to mention your uni course as it wasn't important!!!
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I have worked really hard at uni for 2 years to get to this point, and to my mother and my family, it is nothing and it is worth nothing.
According to them, all I have to do is find a nice man and I have made it :shock:
Please remind me which century do we live in today? Why do parents and family have the knack of putting you down? Why cant they be proud of your decisions in life?
It really makes my blood boil! :x

6 Jul 2005

Alex does she know how you met him?

6 Jul 2005

Quote by freckledbird
Alex does she know how you met him?

You must be joking! She would pass out if she knew :grin:

6 Jul 2005

Quote by Alex_Female
Alex does she know how you met him?

You must be joking! She would pass out if she knew :grin:
Ah well then, next time I'd just have to tell her, saying 'NOW do you think he's a nice man?' lol

6 Jul 2005

I can sympathise entirely Alex, even though i have never had my parents tell me 'I have met a nice man' i have had education thron in my face.
many years ago (not tell you how many) I took 9 'O' levels, on recieving my results I literally ran home looking like the cat that had the proverbial cream..... 9 exams I achieved 8 at grade A and 1 grade B, my fathers response.............
If you had tried a little harder you could have got 9 A's.......
and if I jumped a little higher i could join the cow over the fecking moon I suppose lol

6 Jul 2005

Quote by sleazy
and if I jumped a little higher i could join the cow over the fecking moon I suppose lol

pmsl

I think no matter how high I jump, I will never please them. If I already know this, why do I bother trying?

6 Jul 2005

Alex, it's because you're doing it for you, not anyone else. biggrin

6 Jul 2005

im with freckledbird
your doing it for yourself smile

6 Jul 2005

We shouldn't be too hard on our parents, in general, all they really want is for us to be happy with our lives.
lhk
Kat

6 Jul 2005

One of my favourite poems (along with the Jenny Joseph one about growing old)

Philip Larkin - This Be The Verse
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

This from the guy who said that sex was invented in 1966!!
:P

6 Jul 2005

Quote by Alex_Female
pmsl
I think no matter how high I jump, I will never please them. If I already know this, why do I bother trying?

I was just like you until a couple of years ago Alex.... But I always got it thrown back in my face... I have learnt now to do things for me and no-one else... But it's a hard lesson to learn sad

Be proud of your achievements and stuff everyone else kiss

Shireen
xxx

6 Jul 2005

Quote by Jags
One of my favourite poems (along with the Jenny Joseph one about growing old)

Philip Larkin - This Be The Verse
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

This from the guy who said that sex was invented in 1966!!
:P
That's brilliant Jags. I've not heard it before.
Thanks for brightening my day kiss

:lol:
Alex - just pride yourself that you do not measure things the same as your mum does.

6 Jul 2005

My pleasure Kit
kiss

:kiss: :kiss:

6 Jul 2005

Alex,
I am retraining at the moment and am 2 years through a 3 year course. My Mum said I would never cope , my "poor" children would suffer and acted like I had told her I was selling my soul to the devil.....
Now here we are 2 years on and I'm finding it really tough and thinking about giving up the Mum is now saying I can't possibly give up, that she knew I would be great at it from the start and it was what I was always meant to do !!!!
Honestly....talk about mixed messages LOL
Be proud of yourself - its less hassle
Tracy xx

6 Jul 2005

And the supreme irony is that before we have children we think that we will be different and be able to chat with our children as 'mates': and that our children won't feel the same way about us and yet the cycle continues as we all end up wanting what is best - according to our realtime mindset - for our children...

6 Jul 2005

Well Done on your Uni course :happy:
My Mum is very similar to yours. Only she criticises every man I meet, "Not good enough, Should put you first, He must be married" are amongst the few comments I have had. I also get comments about the way I am bringing my daughter up evil

Maybe we should start university courses entitled "welcome to the 21st century - the century where "nice men don't mean everything, but praise for damn hard work does" open to the ove 55's only.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx bustylady40

6 Jul 2005

Quote by polly40
Maybe we should start university courses entitled "welcome to the 21st century - the century where "nice men don't mean everything, but praise for damn hard work does"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx bustylady40

Here here!!

6 Jul 2005

Quote by KitKat
We shouldn't be too hard on our parents, in general, all they really want is for us to be happy with our lives.
lhk
Kat

Bollocks! As an only child whose parents failed to come to her first Art Exhibition, because they failed to recognise the importance, let us have this........ :twisted:
Venusxxx

6 Jul 2005

Quote by freckledbird
Alex does she know how you met him?

You must be joking! She would pass out if she knew :grin:
Ah well then, next time I'd just have to tell her, saying 'NOW do you think he's a nice man?' lol

Oi frecklebird!!!!! Are you trying to say I am not a nice man? :shock:
Tut.....get a lift off someone else next time :lol:
Dave_Notts

6 Jul 2005

Quote by VenusnMars
We shouldn't be too hard on our parents, in general, all they really want is for us to be happy with our lives.
lhk
Kat

Bollocks! As an only child whose parents failed to come to her first Art Exhibition, because they failed to recognise the importance, let us have this........ :twisted:
Venusxxx ahh, but look how the experienced has shaped you into the person you are Venus. wink

lhk

6 Jul 2005

Quote by Alex_Female
Alex does she know how you met him?

You must be joking! She would pass out if she knew :grin:
Perhaps you should tell her you met him AT Uni .. then she'll be pleased with both him and the uni course you've just slogged for two years for .... hey , gotta use all the tricks in the book if ya wanna succeed! wink

6 Jul 2005

Quote by KitKat
We shouldn't be too hard on our parents, in general, all they really want is for us to be happy with our lives.
lhk
Kat

Bollocks! As an only child whose parents failed to come to her first Art Exhibition, because they failed to recognise the importance, let us have this........ :twisted:
Venusxxx ahh, but look how the experienced has shaped you into the person you are Venus. wink

lhk
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
I rest my case...........
Venusxxx

6 Jul 2005

Quote by VenusnMars
We shouldn't be too hard on our parents, in general, all they really want is for us to be happy with our lives.
lhk
Kat

Bollocks! As an only child whose parents failed to come to her first Art Exhibition, because they failed to recognise the importance, let us have this........ :twisted:
Venusxxx ahh, but look how the experienced has shaped you into the person you are Venus. wink

lhk
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
I rest my case...........
Venusxxx
Care to rest it just inside my front door? :wink:
Alex, parent/child relationships are so complex it is impossible to identify motives most of the time. You just gotta assume the best all the time - I know you feel like telling me to fluck off but I mean it.

6 Jul 2005

Alex I kind of know how you feel. I'm part time at uni and have just reached my half way point of three years. The past few months I've had rather a difficult time with illness in the family and such like. So having just found out I passed my 4 modules this year, admittedly not by much, I told my parents. I loved hearing my Mum repeat my news to my Dad.
"Oh she's passed college again, now she can clear up the ironing and house work that needs doing" rolleyes

Considering my Dad has just stopped working at my university, why the fLuck does it become a college when I go FFS mad

6 Jul 2005

your mother is probably waiting at this stage for the words wedding and grandchildren like my mother did, she just wanted an exscuse to go buy a hat, i think every mother wants their kids to do good its just they look forward to weddings and grandchildren more after a certain age, they start remembering what theirs was like so long ago and want that feeling again lol

they mean well no matter how they go about it wink

7 Jul 2005

Hi Alex......
Its probably because all parents want their child to be happy..... and the most obvious way is of finding a partner......
They may not have gone to Uni as you you have.... and may not realise just how committed to your degree you have been.... and how much it means to you....
I have found that i got the same praise for bringing home a piece of artwork that got graded as a A.... as i did when showing them their first and only grandchild.....
You can choose your friends..... but not your parents...... love them dearly.... they will not be around for as long as you need them to be.....
equi-princess xxx

7 Jul 2005

Quote by Alex_Female
I was having a phone conversation with my mum last week and she was telling me about her previous conversation with my aunt who I hadn't seen for a long time.
My mum told me that my aunt was "very proud of me", "really pleased for me", "really happy for me" etc.. When I asked my mum why my aunt had made those comments, I expected her to say because she told her about my exam results. I should of known better.
Instead, it was because, according to my mother, "i have found a nice man". and by the way, I didn't bother to mention your uni course as it wasn't important!!!
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I have worked really hard at uni for 2 years to get to this point, and to my mother and my family, it is nothing and it is worth nothing.
According to them, all I have to do is find a nice man and I have made it :shock:
Please remind me which century do we live in today? Why do parents and family have the knack of putting you down? Why cant they be proud of your decisions in life?
It really makes my blood boil! :x

Does 'nice man' know you are posting? Has he given you permission to leave the kitchen?
Sorry Dave, didn't mean to talk out of turn there, hope you don't mind me talking to your woman without your permission, mind if she answers?
wink

7 Jul 2005

Quote by welsh one
your mother is probably waiting at this stage for the words wedding and grandchildren like my mother did, she just wanted an exscuse to go buy a hat, i think every mother wants their kids to do good its just they look forward to weddings and grandchildren more after a certain age, they start remembering what theirs was like so long ago and want that feeling again they mean well no matter how they go about it

If there are waiting for a wedding they will be waiting for a long time, and as for grandchildren, mine came along 14 and 6 years ago.
Is it too much to ask for them to be as proud of my achievements as I am?

7 Jul 2005

Quote by marmalaid
Sorry Dave, didn't mean to talk out of turn there, hope you don't mind me talking to your woman without your permission, mind if she answers?

You piss taker, for this u deserve no kiss

's next time we meet and one of these:- smackbottom