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Attachment issues.

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Unknown User
Quote by essex34m
the sad thing is, the geek in me, saw the title, and thought it was a computer thing, and you was asking how to add files to something

You're not on your own there... but it took me this long to have a look redface lol
We are all here to do what we are all here to do... the only real rules in my book are...
1 - Be honest with the people you come in contact with about what you want and why you are here.
2 - Be honest with yourself about why you are doing it.
3 - Only do what you are happy to do.
essex34m
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady

the sad thing is, the geek in me, saw the title, and thought it was a computer thing, and you was asking how to add files to something

You're not on your own there... but it took me this long to have a look redface lol
We are all here to do what we are all here to do... the only real rules in my book are...
1 - Be honest with the people you come in contact with about what you want and why you are here.
2 - Be honest with yourself about why you are doing it.
3 - Only do what you are happy to do.
cant argue with that
the_Laird
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady

the sad thing is, the geek in me, saw the title, and thought it was a computer thing, and you was asking how to add files to something

You're not on your own there... but it took me this long to have a look redface lol
We are all here to do what we are all here to do... the only real rules in my book are...
1 - Be honest with the people you come in contact with about what you want and why you are here.
2 - Be honest with yourself about why you are doing it.
3 - Only do what you are happy to do.
A truer word never spoken PL
:thumbup:
Unknown User
I thought that honesty was always the best policy......... (in agreement with you there PL)
but I also sorta agree with fire... there is a sorta relationship that develops... it is how you term relationship...
and in my view of the world...relationship is where two or more people have shared goals.
my goals from this site are:-
sex... no ongoing connection unless all parties concerned are in agreement. but that connection is decided by all parties.
I only have sex with a married woman if I have spoken to the husband or wife of that woman.....ffs I could go on... but basically I have rules.. and if those rules fit with someone elses... then we get together. :twisted:
I also want to know that they are able to read.......... this is the hardest rule for most to meet.... lol :lol:
also sommink else that fire said about how you handle those emotions rings true for me too.... I could do the quotey thing.. but I can't be bovvered. Basically.. feeling any emotion is o.k. as long as you are able to deal with it constructively..
when there is an issue it is normally because you have broken someone elses' rules without realising it. that takes me back to honesty and openess..
I am also of the opinion that things between people should be dealt with between those people and on this site.. PM is the best way to do that.
I have had issues with people on this site and I have dealt with it by PM.
was going to go on and on... but have to be up early in the morning.
Abilene
Orgasminator
Quote by PoloLady
We are all here to do what we are all here to do... the only real rules in my book are...
1 - Be honest with the people you come in contact with about what you want and why you are here.
2 - Be honest with yourself about why you are doing it.
3 - Only do what you are happy to do.

PL .. I don't think you and I have crossed paths much in my short time on here but I have to say your words are always well received by me.
I want to also take this moment to thank everyone for their input and views. Diversity is what I love about this site and the ability ( of most ) to be ok with that.
Abi xxx
_Darth_
Sex God
Quote by Abilene
Ok, I am seriously not going to mention names in here as I feel that shows no class but I do feel that a little something about this may need to be put out there. Also please do NOT try to play detective and guess who I may or may not be talking about because you WILL end up being wrong because it's not an obvious thing.
This is a swingers site right? Where people with all kinds of tastes, styles and kinks like to come right? Well, should it really be the place to come if you have attachment issues? In other words if you get attached TOO fast. If you get upset with someone if they are playing with others, flirting with others or heck just talking with others should you be here? As long as the person has been 100% honest with you and no expectations were ever laid out, no promises made and no misimpressions given then you are doing whatever may have happened now or in the future between you and that person a misjustice because you are likely to push the person away. Had there been any promises etc made then I could surely understand but this is not the place to put your toe in the water unless you think you can handle swimming. There is nothing wrong with having feelings, thats not what I am trying to say, all I am saying is that maybe if you have attachment issues then you need to figure those out before venturing into a place as openminded as this is.
Ok, I hope I put that all clearly, respectfully and with an honest heart.
Mods .. if you feel this is in the wrong place or that I am out of line please feel free to move it.
Abi xx

Short answer, Yes, if you have attachment issues, prone to jealousy etc, this is the wrong place to be ... as would also be the case even if this were not a swingers site - in a real world 'relationship' for instance ... you are right that such issues need to be dealt with first as they are destructive.
the_Laird
Sex God
Quote by splendid33
I thought that honesty was always the best policy......... (in agreement with you there PL)
but I also sorta agree with fire... there is a sorta relationship that develops... it is how you term relationship...
and in my view of the world...relationship is where two or more people have shared goals.

But then all "swinging" relationships should be based on ....
Quote by PoloLady
... the only real rules in my book are...
1 - Be honest with the people you come in contact with about what you want and why you are here.
2 - Be honest with yourself about why you are doing it.
3 - Only do what you are happy to do.

That to me is the sign of a stable relationship, and more importantly, a balanced attitude to the lifestyle we lead
fembernie
Casanova
Quote by firelizard
My view (which may be different to Stormy's) is that for a woman especially there has a to be an emotional connection in order for sex to happen.

Oopps - am I weird cos I don't always have to have an emotional connection for sex to happen redface wink
Abilene
Orgasminator
Quote by fembernie
Oopps - am I weird cos I don't always have to have an emotional connection for sex to happen redface wink

Nahhh ... you're just weird because you won't loan me those awesome boots.
essex34m
Sex God
Quote by Abilene

Oopps - am I weird cos I don't always have to have an emotional connection for sex to happen redface wink

Nahhh ... you're just weird because you won't loan me those awesome boots.
:rose:
markz
Sex God
I'll be on the side if you need me rolleyes
fembernie
Casanova
Quote by Abilene

Oopps - am I weird cos I don't always have to have an emotional connection for sex to happen redface wink

Nahhh ... you're just weird because you won't loan me those awesome boots.
Abi - you never asked to loan them before. Wanna come and get them? Dont tell Essex34m though cos he likes them too lol
essex34m
Sex God
Quote by fembernie

Oopps - am I weird cos I don't always have to have an emotional connection for sex to happen redface wink

Nahhh ... you're just weird because you won't loan me those awesome boots.
Abi - you never asked to loan them before. Wanna come and get them? Dont tell Essex34m though cos he likes them too lol
it helps that the wearer is lovely *creep*
Abilene
Orgasminator
Ahhh Bernie ... how about we let Essex watch me take them off you and then you put them on me?!?!?
Unknown User
Quote by fembernie

My view (which may be different to Stormy's) is that for a woman especially there has a to be an emotional connection in order for sex to happen.

Oopps - am I weird cos I don't always have to have an emotional connection for sex to happen redface wink
yep you are weird you love me and that MUST be wierd :shock: :shock: lol :lol: :lol:
fembernie
Casanova
Quote by Abilene
Ahhh Bernie ... how about we let Essex watch me take them off you and then you put them on me?!?!?

Abi - anytime!! lol
essex34m
Sex God
Quote by fembernie
Ahhh Bernie ... how about we let Essex watch me take them off you and then you put them on me?!?!?

Abi - anytime!! lol
:happy:
Firelizard
Sex God
Quote by H-x
Although we joined in December, we still consider ourselves new to the scene. One meet, one house party, first munch at the weekend. We have had time to assess what we feel swinging really is and more importantly perhaps, what it is'nt.
My view (which may be different to Stormy's) is that for a woman especially there has a to be an emotional connection in order for sex to happen. So if there has to be an emotional connection then surely there has to be a relationship confused: Now the problem is that wherever there is a relationship there are emotion issues and that is where things like jealousy, envy, rejection etc all come into play. I think that it's not the having the emotions that is the problem, they are just human nature. It's knowing how to deal with them if they are your emotions and also how to deal with them if they are someone elses. Emotions called compassion, kindness and honesty would be useful at this stage. smile
In answer to the people on here who are single and would also like a deeper relationship, then I think they should be here rather than a dating site as they are more likely to meet a likeminded person here.
Just my meanderings!
I'll shut up now shall I? bolt
FIRE xx

Sorry fire but that's a contradiction isn't it. Having to have an emotional connection in order to have sex and looking for a deeper relationship over the 'no attatchment at all purely sexual', aren't they the same thing or are we on a semantics issue here?
H.x
Hiya H kiss
What I meant to convey was that I need an emotional connection to have sex. I thought lots of women did but obviously thats just what I've been told and read over the years.
Not everyone on here wants an ongoing day to day relationship. Some do and some are happy to just meet for sex sometimes. I'm of the oppinion that even just meeting for sex sometimes would require some sort of emotional connection or else you would'nt want to meet dunno but then as I said I'm just too new at this and have yet to be swept of my feet by pure animal passion for someone I just met (well apart from Stormy that is redface ) and jump into bed with them.
I'm open to offers though :giggle:
FIRE xx
H__x
Sex God
Gotcha. Yep, I'm the same. I have tried the "swept of my feet by pure animal passion for someone I just met" and there's a lot to be said for it, especially when you keep seeing them! But the 'just sex, nothing else' thing didn't do it for me. Life would be so much easier if it did!
H.x
essex34m
Sex God
given the choice of laying in someones arms afterwards, or "close the door on the way out, theres a good girl", i know which id rather have
whats for breakfast......
sexkittenhfx
Orgasminator
Quote by essex34m
given the choice of laying in someones arms afterwards, or "close the door on the way out, theres a good girl", i know which id rather have
whats for breakfast......


sausage butty here..... wink
northwest____cpl
Sex God
Quote by firelizard
What I meant to convey was that I need an emotional connection to have sex. I thought lots of women did but obviously thats just what I've been told and read over the years.
Not everyone on here wants an ongoing day to day relationship. Some do and some are happy to just meet for sex sometimes. I'm of the oppinion that even just meeting for sex sometimes would require some sort of emotional connection or else you would'nt want to meet dunno but then as I said I'm just too new at this and have yet to be swept of my feet by pure animal passion for someone I just met (well apart from Stormy that is redface ) and jump into bed with them.

I can only comment from my own experience but so long as sex is not mistaken for making love, you would be amazed at how many women don't need an emotional connection to have sex. In the club scene there are many, many women that play anonymously. The animal passion isn't for the person but for the act itself. Outside the swinging scene I suspect that there are many women doing it regularly after a Saturday night out where little emotional connection has been made.
Happy__Cat
Sex God
Just a thought, if i was single and looking for a relationship, this for me, would be a great place to find a like minded individual.
If however I was looking for a relationship that didnt involve swinging, this would be the last place i would look
Unknown User
Quote by Happy Cats
Just a thought, if i was single and looking for a relationship, this for me, would be a great place to find a like minded individual.
If however I was looking for a relationship that didnt involve swinging, this would be the last place i would look

What he said biggrin
Earthy xx
H__x
Sex God
Quote by earthchild
Just a thought, if i was single and looking for a relationship, this for me, would be a great place to find a like minded individual.
If however I was looking for a relationship that didnt involve swinging, this would be the last place i would look

What he said biggrin
Earthy xx
Quite.
H.x
sexkittenhfx
Orgasminator
Quote by H-x
Just a thought, if i was single and looking for a relationship, this for me, would be a great place to find a like minded individual.
If however I was looking for a relationship that didnt involve swinging, this would be the last place i would look

What he said biggrin
Earthy xx
Quite.
H.x
my thoughts exactly!
Happy__Cat
Sex God
Quote by sexkittenhfx
Just a thought, if i was single and looking for a relationship, this for me, would be a great place to find a like minded individual.
If however I was looking for a relationship that didnt involve swinging, this would be the last place i would look

What he said biggrin
Earthy xx
Quite.
H.x
my thoughts exactly!
So who fancies a shag? Just dont mention it to Mrs HC lol
Firelizard
Sex God
Quote by H-x
Gotcha. Yep, I'm the same. I have tried the "swept of my feet by pure animal passion for someone I just met" and there's a lot to be said for it, especially when you keep seeing them! But the 'just sex, nothing else' thing didn't do it for me. Life would be so much easier if it did!
H.x

:thumbup: kiss
Unknown User
Quote by firelizard
Gotcha. Yep, I'm the same. I have tried the "swept of my feet by pure animal passion for someone I just met" and there's a lot to be said for it, especially when you keep seeing them! But the 'just sex, nothing else' thing didn't do it for me. Life would be so much easier if it did!
H.x

:thumbup: kiss
i agree completely, there has to be a connection there for me or i just cant go there
Earthy xx
Pete_sw
Sex God
Quote by Happy Cats
Just a thought, if i was single and looking for a relationship, this for me, would be a great place to find a like minded individual.
If however I was looking for a relationship that didnt involve swinging, this would be the last place i would look

:thumbup: U the man
Quote by firelizard
I'm open to offers though :giggle:
FIRE xx

:inlove:
shag anyone? :shock: bolt