from being on this scene for over 3 years as both a single and with a partner, id like to say that ive not suffered from bouts of jelous/inapropriate attachment often or without good reason - for example in one relationship my boyfriend (we were in a relationship, not swinging partners) constantly requested seperate room swinging with a couple we were meeting, and eventually wasnt interested in sex with me inbetween these meetings.....i did get jelous of their relationship and it all came down to him using me "success by association" and me not realising this until it was too late, suffice to say i came to my senses and dumped him.......im more confident in what i want now and that wouldnt happen again.
i would also like to add a recent personal experice of mine ......... where my feelings were misinterperted as jelousy when actually thats not how i felt........i felt discarded, disrespected and my friendship not valued (yes i thought it was friendship until i was told "well i never liked you anyway"....so there was obviously nothing worth being upset over in the first place, which infuriated me even more) i felt i had been humiliated in an open forum and had been a notch on a bedpost, it has actually put me off posting and chatting in a big way, especially when people involved still bear grudges and choose to air them in such an umtimely fashion.
at the time, the more i was accused of being jelous the more angry and frustrated i got....which made me look even more green eyed...which made me even angrier....and so on! i came to a point where id forgotten what the big deal was and realised that actually it wasnt very important to me, no one had probably noticed and no one was laughing at me.....which was my main worry...so rather than jelousy, was it hurt pride? lack of communication? mis-communication via instant chat rather than RL conversation? misunderstanding? hearing what you want to hear instead of listening? all of the above i feel, and probably some more! anyhow, its not an issue anymore and all water under the bridge
hmm ive gone off on one a bit there havent i? lol i suppose my point is.....people can be accused of feeling or behaving jelous or in an apropriate way when actually its some other emotion?
) Our view of swinging is that it's a great way to have sex that you just can't get at home, and as a by-product it is possible to make good friends. (Our social circle is now almost entirely made up of couples we've met at clubs.) Should anyone - couple or single - show any signs of 'clinginess' over and above normal friendship then that is a very strong danger sign and we would certainly begin to distance ourselves from them. We find no need whatsoever to form any attachment whatsoever before we play. Any friendship is made after the event, not before.
