Quote by essex34m
Ahhh Bernie ... how about we let Essex watch me take them off you and then you put them on me?!?!?
Abi - anytime!!
:happy:
I feel an attachment-issue to boots coming on!
LP
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Attachment issues.
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Warming the Bed
Just caught this thread, interesting...
I think you have to be a robot to have regular great sex with someone and not develop feelings. The act itself is by definition very intimate. I mean we`re not talking about 1 night stands here are we. We`re talking about people that we get to know, communicate with and meet with over a period of time on this site. However just because you develop feelings for someone doesn`t mean that you want to have a deeper, more " meaningful " relationship with them as suggested.
It seems to me that the initial thread was largely about jealousy; people who can`t handle seeing their "fuck buddies" getting it elsewhere. I`ve had my share and it really pisses me off that people join sites like SH and start to expect monogamy from you. ( Like you should explain in your profile that this is not what you`re after ).
:banghead: :banghead:
I`m afraid I have little tolerance for it now. Tell `em to grow up and if they can`t handle that, tell `em to sod off instead
I think you have to be a robot to have regular great sex with someone and not develop feelings. The act itself is by definition very intimate. I mean we`re not talking about 1 night stands here are we. We`re talking about people that we get to know, communicate with and meet with over a period of time on this site. However just because you develop feelings for someone doesn`t mean that you want to have a deeper, more " meaningful " relationship with them as suggested.
It seems to me that the initial thread was largely about jealousy; people who can`t handle seeing their "fuck buddies" getting it elsewhere. I`ve had my share and it really pisses me off that people join sites like SH and start to expect monogamy from you. ( Like you should explain in your profile that this is not what you`re after ).
:banghead: :banghead: I`m afraid I have little tolerance for it now. Tell `em to grow up and if they can`t handle that, tell `em to sod off instead
Quote by handsometype
It seems to me that the initial thread was largely about jealousy; people who can`t handle seeing their "fuck buddies" getting it elsewhere.
This was the reason my ex hubby and I never got into swinging while we were still together. The thought of him shagging another woman would have me breaking out in a cold sweat for all the wrong reasons.
Now though, I have a regular male friend and I am very fond of him. The difference is I'm counting the days until we can both get together with a very special lady, the image of that in my head has kept me warm on many a lonely night
Sex God
Quote by DarkJedi
Ok, I am seriously not going to mention names in here as I feel that shows no class but I do feel that a little something about this may need to be put out there. Also please do NOT try to play detective and guess who I may or may not be talking about because you WILL end up being wrong because it's not an obvious thing.
This is a swingers site right? Where people with all kinds of tastes, styles and kinks like to come right? Well, should it really be the place to come if you have attachment issues? In other words if you get attached TOO fast. If you get upset with someone if they are playing with others, flirting with others or heck just talking with others should you be here? As long as the person has been 100% honest with you and no expectations were ever laid out, no promises made and no misimpressions given then you are doing whatever may have happened now or in the future between you and that person a misjustice because you are likely to push the person away. Had there been any promises etc made then I could surely understand but this is not the place to put your toe in the water unless you think you can handle swimming. There is nothing wrong with having feelings, thats not what I am trying to say, all I am saying is that maybe if you have attachment issues then you need to figure those out before venturing into a place as openminded as this is.
Ok, I hope I put that all clearly, respectfully and with an honest heart.
Mods .. if you feel this is in the wrong place or that I am out of line please feel free to move it.
Abi xx
Short answer, Yes, if you have attachment issues, prone to jealousy etc, this is the wrong place to be ... as would also be the case even if this were not a swingers site - in a real world 'relationship' for instance ... you are right that such issues need to be dealt with first as they are destructive.
Ive dug this out because Ive trawled the archives and this appears to be the nearest I can find to something that has cropped up in conversation recently about 'Internet Relationships' within a swinging enviroment and the question I would like some views on is, how would you deal with someone who appears to have 'attachment' and jealously issues even though they have never met the person they are in contact with? Im sure there are lots of people out there in cyber space who have come across this.
Personally I would be quite worried and would be inclined to sever contact but would that be the right thing to do? What would you do???
I`d back right off and let them go down their own path in life and I wish I`d done this earlier this year when I met somebody from SH who had major insecurity issues and couldnt handle me wanting to carry on in this lifestyle.
It`s been a lesson learned.
And thank you helnheaven for resurrecting this thread-it`s been an interesting one to read through.
It`s been a lesson learned.
And thank you helnheaven for resurrecting this thread-it`s been an interesting one to read through.
imo the men folk of this site (and other sites to) seem to have more attachment issues than the women 
and yet in "the real world" this is reversed imo anyway.....
i had a rather keen one once who lost the plot a bit when dek came back from working away - the jealousy was bubbling and yet we had never even played :shock:
and yet in "the real world" this is reversed imo anyway..... i had a rather keen one once who lost the plot a bit when dek came back from working away - the jealousy was bubbling and yet we had never even played :shock:
Sex God
Quote by Hungrypussy69
I`d back right off and let them go down their own path in life and I wish I`d done this earlier this year when I met somebody from SH who had major insecurity issues and couldnt handle me wanting to carry on in this lifestyle.
It`s been a lesson learned.
And thank you helnheaven for resurrecting this thread-it`s been an interesting one to read through.
No need to thank me sweetie and I hope you have sorted your probs out now.
Can I just say thank you for the PM's,you know who you are but this isnt about me. I dug this thread out out for someone who may need some tlc and a bit of moral support concerning these issues.
Sex God
Quote by dekntan
imo the men folk of this site (and other sites to) seem to have more attachment issues than the women
i had a rather keen one once who lost the plot a bit when dek came back from working away - the jealousy was bubbling and yet we had never even played :shock:
I wouldnt know about that tan or is it fan these days
I think attachment issues can happen to anyone, anywhere, offline and on. The particular one on my mind at the mo is an online thing.You say you never actually played but did you actually meet at all??
Sex God
Quote by helnheaven
imo the men folk of this site (and other sites to) seem to have more attachment issues than the women
i had a rather keen one once who lost the plot a bit when dek came back from working away - the jealousy was bubbling and yet we had never even played :shock:
I wouldnt know about that tan or is it fan these days
I think attachment issues can happen to anyone, anywhere, offline and on. The particular one on my mind at the mo is an online thing.You say you never actually played but did you actually meet at all??
we met socially and i didnt really hit it of so i said i would like to keep as friend etc etc but not play but he never got it into his head and turned a bit nutty following me etc
tis still tan btw lol
Sex God
Quote by X_fanny_x
imo the men folk of this site (and other sites to) seem to have more attachment issues than the women
i had a rather keen one once who lost the plot a bit when dek came back from working away - the jealousy was bubbling and yet we had never even played :shock:
I wouldnt know about that tan or is it fan these days
I think attachment issues can happen to anyone, anywhere, offline and on. The particular one on my mind at the mo is an online thing.You say you never actually played but did you actually meet at all??
we met socially and i didnt really hit it of so i said i would like to keep as friend etc etc but not play but he never got it into his head and turned a bit nutty following me etc
tis still tan btw lol
Thanks Tan
See, I could understand this a little more had there been a face to face meeting but this hasnt happened in this case.
Im not sure digging this thread up will have helped the person in question so far and so maybe it will just disappear into the bowels of SH Towers again.
Thanks for the input girls and also, thanks to those who PM'd me.
