Has anyone experianced a bad performance when swinging with another male/ couple? for example he busts his nut in like 5 mintues... what happened? Anyone had any bad performances with Females?
Tell your stories, how you felt, what happened, was it a big deal, where you able to continue, was it really akward?
Interested in knowing peoples experiances and thoughts on the subject.
What would you do if someone (either individually or in a couple) didn't perform?
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Bad Performance
Sex God
If you're new to the scene, I'm not entirely sure asking for people's bad experiences is going to help you gain confidence. You may end up hearing some really awful tales that may put you of the whole thing altogether 
Everyone has difference experiences, but perhaps asking for a few funny tales, or nice ones would be the way to go . . . . although you will find most people don't kiss and tell anyway
Tracy-Jayne
Everyone has difference experiences, but perhaps asking for a few funny tales, or nice ones would be the way to go . . . . although you will find most people don't kiss and tell anyway
Tracy-Jayne
Sex God
There are as many possibilities of things going wrong as things going right with anything really. Issues that arise that you thought might be problems before trying the swinging thing might not actually be all that huge a deal if it happens.
Stuff that I've had go wrong were things like people not taking no for an answer in a club so I've had to go and tell the management about it, sometimes they get a warning other times theyve been thrown out with a permanent ban. But that depends on each club policy. Its knowing what the rules are and having the confidence to enforce them, especially in a club environment.
Other stuff includes people who were just out for themselves, some have been bad tempered or pushy but I have to say that these are just a small, very tiny percentage of things that happened on the whole. I've only ever had three poor meets and thats probably because I'm fussy about who I meet up with. Now I'm playing as a couple there are two fussy people's criteria to meet so obviously things have to balance between us.
No hard and fast answers for what to avoid cos swinging is so diverse and it can be tailored to the individual taking part, so I'd recommend trial and error to see how you personally want to do things and deal with any issues if they come along.
Gem. x
Stuff that I've had go wrong were things like people not taking no for an answer in a club so I've had to go and tell the management about it, sometimes they get a warning other times theyve been thrown out with a permanent ban. But that depends on each club policy. Its knowing what the rules are and having the confidence to enforce them, especially in a club environment.
Other stuff includes people who were just out for themselves, some have been bad tempered or pushy but I have to say that these are just a small, very tiny percentage of things that happened on the whole. I've only ever had three poor meets and thats probably because I'm fussy about who I meet up with. Now I'm playing as a couple there are two fussy people's criteria to meet so obviously things have to balance between us.
No hard and fast answers for what to avoid cos swinging is so diverse and it can be tailored to the individual taking part, so I'd recommend trial and error to see how you personally want to do things and deal with any issues if they come along.
Gem. x
Quote by RedHot
If you're new to the scene, I'm not entirely sure asking for people's bad experiences is going to help you gain confidence. You may end up hearing some really awful tales that may put you of the whole thing altogether
Tracy-Jayne
I just like to know everything, knowing the wost that can happen makes me feel safer. But I see your point, was hoping perhaps hearing peoples bad experiances might help us know alittle what to do etiquette wise at least, if something went wrong, plus then I'd know we weren't the only people to have this happen to.
Sex God
Quote by mrbusyhands
for example he busts his nut in like 5 mintues...
:shock:
Well what do you do if you invite some guy over for a threesome with you and your gf and that happens I mean kinda defeats the porpose no?
The question perhaps should be, ever meet up with someone who was very disappointing (male/female)? What happened? what did you do after it happened?
The question perhaps should be, ever meet up with someone who was very disappointing (male/female)? What happened? what did you do after it happened?
Sex God
This just gets better.............
Not
Not
Sex God
MrBusyHands you're not being very tactful. As RedHot said, people don't tend to kiss and tell on here. The only way to deal with preformance mishaps is to be sympathetic and tactful then either meet again or not, it's your choice.
Can I suggest that you read through some threads to get a feel for the place and maybe search out some of the subjects you're asking all these questions about? You might find the answers to some of them have already been posted.
Can I suggest that you read through some threads to get a feel for the place and maybe search out some of the subjects you're asking all these questions about? You might find the answers to some of them have already been posted.
Quote by mrbusyhands
Well what do you do if you invite some guy over for a threesome with you and your gf and that happens I mean kinda defeats the porpose no?
The question perhaps should be, ever meet up with someone who was very disappointing (male/female)? What happened? what did you do after it happened?
Go home?
I was just asking a question that my gf was worried about... she'd had a 3sum b4 where one guy couldn't keep it up and walked out so she and the other guy just awkwardly stopped. She was worried about something like that happening again. Am shifting through the old threads now... some good stuff (some very funny stuff too)
Well I could be WAY off the mark and I accept that and apologise if I offend you I'm actually just trying to help.
It's just that my intuition tells me that you are speaking about yourself - maybe you have had difficulties and are worried about 'letting couples' down etc.
If that is the case then you have nothing to fear - you can genuinely ask for advice in this forum - some of us may take the mick etc but not out real things like this subject.
If I'm wrong then sorry again - just my own opinion.
Kiss_Me
... runs for cover fearing a barrage of abuse.....
It's just that my intuition tells me that you are speaking about yourself - maybe you have had difficulties and are worried about 'letting couples' down etc.
If that is the case then you have nothing to fear - you can genuinely ask for advice in this forum - some of us may take the mick etc but not out real things like this subject.
If I'm wrong then sorry again - just my own opinion.
Kiss_Me
... runs for cover fearing a barrage of abuse.....
Ahhhh ok, I admit both of us are worried about letting down another couple but my gf's experiance was true and she is very worried that things might be really awkward. (especially since she only wants me to play with her and for some of her fantasies she wants to be tied up and helpless).
The biggest thing we are worried about (in letting the other couple/girl down) is if we change our mind last minute and decide not to play at all or get real uncomfortable during playing and want to stop (especially true for another male with her).
Thanks for your opinion though and any advice/help whatever is apprieciated.
...Sends a barrage of thanks instead...
The biggest thing we are worried about (in letting the other couple/girl down) is if we change our mind last minute and decide not to play at all or get real uncomfortable during playing and want to stop (especially true for another male with her).
Thanks for your opinion though and any advice/help whatever is apprieciated.
...Sends a barrage of thanks instead...
Fair enough lol!
I think it's fair to say that if you know the people relatively well you shouldn't need to feel awkward etc of course it will be different with total strangers. Ultimately if this concerns you make friends with people first, go for drinks and if something happens it happens - it's your body (and her body) and what you do with them is your business. Nobody should feel pressured, you or them.
I think it's fair to say that if you know the people relatively well you shouldn't need to feel awkward etc of course it will be different with total strangers. Ultimately if this concerns you make friends with people first, go for drinks and if something happens it happens - it's your body (and her body) and what you do with them is your business. Nobody should feel pressured, you or them.
Do you think theres ever a problem with meeting up socially first i.e. you don't click, have nothing in common. Would that be a big problem?
We're both quite young and seeing theres a lot of members 30+ we'd be worried that socially we might get on friendly enough but over that it might be awkward (we don't have enough in common whatever)
We're both quite young and seeing theres a lot of members 30+ we'd be worried that socially we might get on friendly enough but over that it might be awkward (we don't have enough in common whatever)
Quote by mrbusyhands
Do you think theres ever a problem with meeting up socially first i.e. you don't click, have nothing in common. Would that be a big problem?
We're both quite young and seeing theres a lot of members 30+ we'd be worried that socially we might get on friendly enough but over that it might be awkward (we don't have enough in common whatever)
I'm afriad we are straying into territory that I know least about as I'm new to the 'swinging' scene. All I would say is at the end of the day if you make a friend or two along the way everyone's a winner.
You may not like them, they may not like you - it's a fact of life - I think what's more important is how you deal with it. I personally wouldn't tell somebody "Oh yeah really like you, sure would love to meet again" if I have no intention of ever doing so as it just breeds suspicion and bad blood and isn't fair on others. Being honest doesn't mean being rude and be attentive to your partner, talk to her about what you are both 'ideally' seeking so you are singing off the same song sheet if you do meet anyone.
Anyway I've rambled on enough - there are lots of helpful threads and postings in the forum and plenty of nice people on here too who know more than I do.
Good luck!
Sex God
Quote by mrbusyhands
Do you think theres ever a problem with meeting up socially first i.e. you don't click, have nothing in common. Would that be a big problem?
We're both quite young and seeing theres a lot of members 30+ we'd be worried that socially we might get on friendly enough but over that it might be awkward (we don't have enough in common whatever)
TBH I don't think either of you sound nearly ready enough to take a step into the swinging lifestyle.
You don't appear to have much confidence and that in itself can lead to poor performance, which seems to be your main worry.
Meeting with people socially at first is the best way forward in most circumstances. Meet for a drink/coffee and chat with no pressure either way.
Many people, even long time swingers insist on this arrangement first. It makes it easier for all concerend.
You can discuss it all together and if you all feel happy, make some other arrangements to have some fun together. If not, you will all have had a nice chat/coffee etc and no harm done
Don't try rushing yourselves. Take time to feel comfortable every step of the way and before long you will wonder why you felt so nervous at the start ;-)
Good luck!
T-J
Sex God
Quote by mrbusyhands
We're both quite young and seeing theres a lot of members 30+ we'd be worried that socially we might get on friendly enough but over that it might be awkward (we don't have enough in common whatever)
I don't think age is generally a problem on here at all. I would be a bit shy about playing with someone young enough to be my child (wouldn't rule it out though!), but wouldn't have a problem playing with someone old enough to be my parent. Swinging isn't really about age, it's about having the same attitude as playmates. Well, that's my opinion anyway.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: