right....
i would like some pointers on some very gentle newbie BDSM.......havent a clue what to to, what to use/say/wear, and i do mean very gentle and light bondage and spanking-y type stuff
so....imagine i am an alien completely new to this planet.....oi whaddaya mean thats not hard to do!!
and explain to me in words of one syllable or less some of the basics of it all.....what basics to have in my 'kit' how to start, what to do and stuff to say......i will say Im looking to be the spanker and NOT the spankee....i DONT do pain at all :scared:
thanks to you all in advance of me chickening out of doing it all together LOL
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BDSM for absolute beginners
Sex God
Try these;
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/shm/spanking-for-novices.html
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/shm/bdsm.html
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/shm/spanking-for-novices.html
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/shm/bdsm.html
Sex God
Tescos have a good range in riding crops and they only a few quid 
Sex God
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Tescos have a good range in riding crops and they only a few quid
Love the idea of "Tesco's Value" sex aids. :rotflmao:
eBay's a good place for cheap rope, crops etc. The fact it's such a big market place seems to keep the price quite low. I've found it to be cheaper than the big DIY chains (pardon the pun
ops: ), but you'll need to do a bit of browsing to work out what the best deals are. ;) 
Sex God
Lead ropes from the horsey shop or in my case the local agricultural merchant are handy things to have. The rope is soft and has a handy clip on one end. Useful for mild bondage as the clip will attach to cuffs. They come in a variety of colours too. Black being my favorite.
Bet you can get them from Tesco too now! Better talk horse if you're engaged in conversation.
Bet you can get them from Tesco too now! Better talk horse if you're engaged in conversation.
Quote by Bonedigger
Tescos have a good range in riding crops and they only a few quid
:shock: really???? might have to find my nearest tescos for a looksee then......just to see if you are correct nwc....thats all!!
You might need a Tesco's Extra. And they might be around £4-£6 from memory.
Allegedly.
Re Tesco riding crop - save even more by purchasing using your club card points......... 
I dont think I could get away with saying im a novice :shock: but for what its worth I would use a chair, some soft rope, a blindfold (improvise if you dont have one) and a commanding attitude :twisted: if I was a beginner.
Where I have initiated beginners into the fold, I have often 'pretend tied' them. I wrapped the rope around their wrists or/and ankles but, if they wished, they could easily 'undo' them. Although not wishing to ruin my reputation as a strict Mistress, I would say I have only done that the very first time of play - next time its cuffs and padlocks
Lulling your victims into a false sense of security is all part of the fun........
In all honesty the best advice I can give is have fun, keep safe, and if you do get candle wax on the sheets use brown paper and an iron to remove...........hee hee
I dont think I could get away with saying im a novice :shock: but for what its worth I would use a chair, some soft rope, a blindfold (improvise if you dont have one) and a commanding attitude :twisted: if I was a beginner.
Where I have initiated beginners into the fold, I have often 'pretend tied' them. I wrapped the rope around their wrists or/and ankles but, if they wished, they could easily 'undo' them. Although not wishing to ruin my reputation as a strict Mistress, I would say I have only done that the very first time of play - next time its cuffs and padlocks
Lulling your victims into a false sense of security is all part of the fun........
In all honesty the best advice I can give is have fun, keep safe, and if you do get candle wax on the sheets use brown paper and an iron to remove...........hee hee
If you're looking for for a gentle introduction into the BDSM scene, may I suggest taking a look at the following books:
SM101: A realistic introduction by Jay Wiseman
(ISBN: )
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Philip Miller
(ISBN: )
Both books are very informative, and may be of interest to both novice and more experienced players.
If you're looking at exploring Japanese style rope bondage (Shibari), I'd recommend reading Midori's excellent book:
The Seductive Art Of Japanese Bondage
(ISBN: )
It's illustrated throughout with drawings depicting the various knots and positions. There's also a brief section on the history and culture of Japanese rope work, and some suggestions for scenes.
A good way of improvising toys and equipment, is to start by looking for items around your home, or at a hardware store. These "Pervertables" as they're known, are simply everyday items that can be perverted from their usual role into something a little more kinky.
It's quite entertaining trying to find objects to pervert, but if you're stuck for ideas, the following sites offer some useful suggestions:
SM101: A realistic introduction by Jay Wiseman
(ISBN: )
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Philip Miller
(ISBN: )
Both books are very informative, and may be of interest to both novice and more experienced players.
If you're looking at exploring Japanese style rope bondage (Shibari), I'd recommend reading Midori's excellent book:
The Seductive Art Of Japanese Bondage
(ISBN: )
It's illustrated throughout with drawings depicting the various knots and positions. There's also a brief section on the history and culture of Japanese rope work, and some suggestions for scenes.
A good way of improvising toys and equipment, is to start by looking for items around your home, or at a hardware store. These "Pervertables" as they're known, are simply everyday items that can be perverted from their usual role into something a little more kinky.
It's quite entertaining trying to find objects to pervert, but if you're stuck for ideas, the following sites offer some useful suggestions:
Safe word.
Hands.
Scarves for blindfolding and restraining.
Nice smooth cottony rope abut 2m available from chandlers or good DIY stores.
Cats crops canes etc can do an awful lot of damage accidentally and as you are taking the first steps hands are a sensible option as are soft slippers.
In terms of what you say, I just go with the flow as I would in any intimate situation. From personal experience, somebody pretending to be dominant just leaves me feeling daft.
Theres loads of web sites that have loads of advice. Good luck have fun.
Hands.
Scarves for blindfolding and restraining.
Nice smooth cottony rope abut 2m available from chandlers or good DIY stores.
Cats crops canes etc can do an awful lot of damage accidentally and as you are taking the first steps hands are a sensible option as are soft slippers.
In terms of what you say, I just go with the flow as I would in any intimate situation. From personal experience, somebody pretending to be dominant just leaves me feeling daft.
Theres loads of web sites that have loads of advice. Good luck have fun.
Casanova
If you ever go to Chams you could organise it to coincide with the 3rd Sunday of the Month and pop down to Birmingham for the BBB. It's an indoor fetish market held in Nightingales Nightclub and has a great atmoshpere and everything you could possibly want to get started, from clothes to gadgets. They also have a workshop each month with fun topics of interest, a cafe and open bar.
People often dress up to go there, but you also see people in their jeans and if you are feeling a little wary to go there if you contact them via their website they will give you details for the 'hand holders' that are there to show newbies round and introduce them to people.
It's great!
People often dress up to go there, but you also see people in their jeans and if you are feeling a little wary to go there if you contact them via their website they will give you details for the 'hand holders' that are there to show newbies round and introduce them to people.
It's great!
Orgasminator
I'd never encourage anyone to get into BDSM as I see it as a one way street to destruction. Yes, it starts as fun and it is titilating to try out new things but you are always hungry for more and like with drugs you've got to go one step further every time to find the same titilation.
But it's a free world and people are allowed to experiment; so, as long as you have a willing partner and you are both aware of the dangers and pitfalls (and not just look at the romantic picture), go for it and make your own mind.
Personally I'd recommend you visited a pro Domme with your partner and got an intro. You'd get the opportunity to view the tools of the trade and try them out under her safe supervision - it's well worth the investment because this way you do not buy toys you may never want to use just because they looked interesting or nice LOL And it's priceless to be shown the right way to do things.
All the best!
But it's a free world and people are allowed to experiment; so, as long as you have a willing partner and you are both aware of the dangers and pitfalls (and not just look at the romantic picture), go for it and make your own mind.
Personally I'd recommend you visited a pro Domme with your partner and got an intro. You'd get the opportunity to view the tools of the trade and try them out under her safe supervision - it's well worth the investment because this way you do not buy toys you may never want to use just because they looked interesting or nice LOL And it's priceless to be shown the right way to do things.
All the best!
Sex God
Quote by __random_orbit__
remember to say:
Please.
lp
I do love you sometimes Lp 
... and tease!
with a little imagination, and indeed some self restraint (curbing your own instincts and desires) bring your 'unwilling' partner to a 'point', and then leave them there...
this could be on the point of orgasm... at the edge of pleasure/pain...
then return, when you are good and ready to persue whatever it may be was on your agenda in the first instance.
use your subject well, and why not be prepared to have the same treatment meeted out upon you when/if roles are reversed?
try not to be too serious or over zealous when trying new things. Just my opinion, but after all, this is all about fun.
talk through your ideas of control and submission when horny... you may be suprised at the potential results.
relax.
lp
with a little imagination, and indeed some self restraint (curbing your own instincts and desires) bring your 'unwilling' partner to a 'point', and then leave them there...
this could be on the point of orgasm... at the edge of pleasure/pain...
then return, when you are good and ready to persue whatever it may be was on your agenda in the first instance.
use your subject well, and why not be prepared to have the same treatment meeted out upon you when/if roles are reversed?
try not to be too serious or over zealous when trying new things. Just my opinion, but after all, this is all about fun.
talk through your ideas of control and submission when horny... you may be suprised at the potential results.
relax.
lp
Hmm, that reminds me- the safe word/codes.
What not to do:
If you agree that
Red = that fecking hurts, stop that right NOW!
Yellow = That's getting painful- ease off..
Green = Too mild, rack it up.
Don't ruin the moment with your experienced dom by yelling "Red! No, Yellow! No, Kinda Orange!"
It may well result in fits of laughter and ruin the moment. :mrgreen:
I should have listened when he said I was "far too lippy to be a sub." The cheek of the guy....
What not to do:
If you agree that
Red = that fecking hurts, stop that right NOW!
Yellow = That's getting painful- ease off..
Green = Too mild, rack it up.
Don't ruin the moment with your experienced dom by yelling "Red! No, Yellow! No, Kinda Orange!"
It may well result in fits of laughter and ruin the moment. :mrgreen:
I should have listened when he said I was "far too lippy to be a sub." The cheek of the guy....
Quote by Bonedigger
Tescos have a good range in riding crops and they only a few quid
:shock: really???? might have to find my nearest tescos for a looksee then......just to see if you are correct nwc....thats all!!
Can see it now at the check out...
Bing bonggggg
Price check....10 inch black mambo with 3 speed settings vibrator...I say again.....
Reacher
