Beanbags I hate you all

16 May 2004

An Epilady is an electrical device for the removal of hair.
It's kind of like lots of pairs of tweezers, and literally rips the hairs out. I tried one on approximately one square inch of my lower leg a few years ago and the pain was EXCRUCIATING!!!!! If anyone tells you they have done their bikini line or similar with one, don't believe them!

16 May 2004

Angel thank you for that now I know
davej makes a mental note to add one of these to mrs davej's chritmas list after she bought him a glow under street lights shirt and let him go out in it this christmas past and never said a word

22 Sep 2004

Thought
as a warning to you all id ressurect this in light of the current threads Im not clever enough to put it in as a link :cry:

22 Sep 2004

warwick i think this one should be stickied.
the question arose a few weeks ago, and i did link to this thread by way of useful advice re: milkshakes and mcflurries and stuff, but being a newbie did he read it? did he feck! he fell right into the trap! could hear his screams in leeds ffs

whahahahahahahahahawheheheheheheh

there's just no helping some folk is there?
neil x x x ;)

22 Sep 2004

I've only recently taken up shaving my bikini line as opposed to waxing, due to sheer laziness.
Well, i've just got out of the shower and noticed I missed a bit - in a very delicate area - and grabbed the nearest razor (I have several, for different parts of the body) only it wasn't my trusty Wilkinson Sword Lady Protector but an evil Bic! evil

Consequently I am now sat on a wad of toilet paper and daren't even look at the damage. :shock:
Lucky for me, I've been following the more recent thread regarding men shaving their nads so was interested to discover this old thread had been resurrected.
Oh joy, oh rapture!! You blokes are soooooo funny.
For those of you that can't be arsed to read from Page 1, here's a taster by the comical genius that is Davej.
God bless ya, Dave; you've cheered me up no end

Quote by davej
Ah dear Warwick, if only you hadnt listened to poor advice then you wouldn't look as though you have put your pride and joy through the office shreader. I can tell you as someone who has kept himself in trim for a number of years, that some of the advice previousely posted will only add to your woes and that if you follow my routine, then you will never suffer again.
As you will have heard, the best possible place to perform the delicate art of gliding a stiff unforgiving object, (the razor) across a soft, mallable, non uniform, tender shape (yer nuts) is the shower. Completely wrong!
Now to my point. Do not shave your tadger and accesories in the shower (despite the general advice) because the increase temperature will have made them sag and be as easy to handle as unbeaten egg whites, no dear Warwick, get them as cold as possible and you will find that they are much easier to handle.
Can I suggest that the best place to shave your Gonads is in your local fast food shop. This is what you do:-
Pack your razor into your pocket along with no more than , drive down to your local Mc 'D' and purchase a happy meal. Exchange the standard coke for a thick shake or better still a slush puppy and ask them to serve your drink first and hold the bun. Take your thick shake and ensuring the coast is clear, nip into the toilets and after whipping the top off your drink, plunge your nuts into the thick shake, the severe cold will instanly make them shrink and tighten and therefore esier to handle and shave, you will have the added benefit that the thick liquid will act as a very passable shaving foam thus further aiding your quest.
You may encounter a problem with posture in the toilet as the cubicles are small, (they were not designed with shaving in mind) however if you sit on the pan with the lid down and put one foot up on the door bolt and stretch the other across to the giant loo roll holder, you will find yourself in a position where your legs are akimbo and your now shrunken gonads, exposed and as hard as a golf ball. Now your task is simple......shave away.
Once you have finished shaving, you should again plunge your gleaming sack into the cooling liquid which also acts as a balm. Dry yourself, dress yourself, replace your drinks lid and return to the counter to collect your meal. As you will see you have now killed two birds with one stone you have shaved and lunched at the same time. You may even have had the happy benefit of collecting a two for one voucher in which case you could take a freind on your next visit.
The choice to drink your drink, or to give it to a stranger, saying you are too full to drink it, is yours and really is dependant on your mood for the day.
P.S. remember to shower when you get home otherwise your meat and veg will remain Bannana flavoured.
I hope that my advice is of use to you and that you view your next trip to get an Egg Mcmuffin as not a chore but an oppurtunity.

:giggle: :giggle:
I tried really hard not to pmsl 'cos it'll probably sting.

22 Sep 2004

Quote by Marya
Well, i've just got out of the shower and noticed I missed a bit - in a very delicate area - and grabbed the nearest razor (I have several, for different parts of the body) only it wasn't my trusty Wilkinson Sword Lady Protector but an evil Bic!
Consequently I am now sat on a wad of toilet paper and daren't even look at the damage. :shock:
I tried really hard not to pmsl 'cos it'll probably sting.

A soft wet tongue on your stingy bits will soothe it biggrin

Gill x

22 Sep 2004

Quote by Marya
I tried really hard not to pmsl 'cos it'll probably sting.

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
This thread has gotta be one of my all time faves! sooooo funny!

22 Sep 2004

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
This thread is hilarious! But I am wondering confused

: The thread was started on 10th may.....so warwick, have you tried any of the suggestions? passed the "spotty" stage? let it grow back?? What did you decide to do? I'm so curious biggrin

23 Sep 2004

I am now beautifully smooth matey
in the end i used a combination of the mcflurry and cappuccino method lol

23 Sep 2004

Quote by warwick
I am now beautifully smooth matey
in the end i used a combination of the mcflurry and cappuccino method

Dear Warwick;
I think you will find that is was a Latte...
Regards
Paul :lol:

23 Sep 2004

Each to his own mate
try test and improve
you have your Latte and I my Cappuchino lol

23 Sep 2004

Quote by warwick
Each to his own mate
try test and improve
you have your Latte and I my Cappuchino

Fair point Warwick..
I'll stick to Latte (there is a feed in their somewhere) I think
Cheers
Paul

30 Sep 2004

Sorry, I think this thread is too funny to leave on page 'blah de blah no one will find me here'.
So... BOING!
Promise, I'll only do it this once xx

30 Sep 2004

I love this thread and it has reminded me of a point I've often pondered. How has Fun365 managed to be here for so long and does not have an avatar? Did he have one and take it away or has he never had one? Does he not like avatars? Is he avataraphobic? Can he not decide which one to have? Is it lost or worse stolen? For me its one of the great mysteries of SH. rolleyes

CQ

30 Sep 2004

Good point Celticq....... biggrin

Fun 365 what is your answer ? :D :D

30 Sep 2004

:lol: :lol: avataraphobic??? is that cue for another tm?

30 Sep 2004

I tried to buy an epilady for my girlfriend. Sadly I bought an epileptic lady by mistake and now my girlfriend is covered in cuts.

30 Sep 2004

Quote by Marya
:lol: :lol: avataraphobic??? is that cue for another tm?

Its not one you would get to use much on this site though is it - more likely to be avataramania :shock:

30 Sep 2004

Quote by GregLondon
I tried to buy an epilady for my girlfriend. Sadly I bought an epileptic lady by mistake and now my girlfriend is covered in cuts.

FUCKING PRICELESS GREG lol

:lol: :lol:

30 Sep 2004

Quote by flicknlick-cpl
I tried to buy an epilady for my girlfriend. Sadly I bought an epileptic lady by mistake and now my girlfriend is covered in cuts.

FUCKING PRICELESS GREG lol

:lol: :lol:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
ah greg the elusive bifem???? well done matey!
neil x x x ;)

30 Sep 2004

Quote by Angel Chat
An Epilady is an electrical device for the removal of hair.
It's kind of like lots of pairs of tweezers, and literally rips the hairs out. I tried one on approximately one square inch of my lower leg a few years ago and the pain was EXCRUCIATING!!!!! If anyone tells you they have done their bikini line or similar with one, don't believe them!

ops: ya but the pain mmmmmmmmmmmmm :bounce:
Not forgetting the thought that go through your head when you are doing it!mmmmmmmmm rolleyes

ok ok i am a perve! :twisted: :twisted:

1 Oct 2004

Gentlemen, may i ask for some serious discussion on this delicate subject,
having just been told by flick to trim my pubes for our visit to utopia tonight, i decided to give the gonads a little shave, shit, of all the advice on here, no one said where shaving, should start and end, there is no "plimsol" line so to speak.
Having almost cracked two vertibrae trying to see up to my arsehole, (all mirrors are fixed and super gluing my feet to the ceiling only resulted in 2 foot shaped holes in the plaster and a sore head) i decided there should be an international standard.
Not knowing what it would be, i invented my own.
Fit an elastic band around your bollocks, thereby giving you a plimsol, hereby known as the "plumsol line" and all areas protruding from this line are the shaving area, this should prevent any confusion and stop you shaving down to your knees.
Please remember if adopting this method, remove the plumsol line asap or your gonads will take on the apperance of an old bruised peach.
I have already applied for the patent.

13 Apr 2006

... but I was reading the 'Google yur name thread' (I'm sure it's not called that )..
... and maybe I was feeling nostalgic , but I started to search for things that involved Davej.. I happened on this one ... not only did it dtill make me laugh , but also made me realise that I still loved this site... Okay, most of us are here to make contacts and have 'fun'... but you must have humour...
Dear Mods .... I will probably not bump anymore old threads..
Paul

13 Apr 2006

Quote by Fun365
Dear Mods .... I will probably not bump anymore old threads..

By all means bump some of the old threads, I nearly did the Avatar Challenge the other day but couldnt 'do' the avatar I wanted to copy!

13 Apr 2006

... maybe i will bump some more....maybe.. maybe
Paul

13 Apr 2006

Quote by Fun365
... but I was reading the 'Google yur name thread' (I'm sure it's not called that )..
... and maybe I was feeling nostalgic , but I started to search for things that involved Davej.. I happened on this one ... not only did it dtill make me laugh , but also made me realise that I still loved this site... Okay, most of us are here to make contacts and have 'fun'... but you must have humour...
Dear Mods .... I will probably not bump anymore old threads..
Paul

bump away, bump away!
for reasons i won't bore you with, i've been trawling through old posts myself, absolutely pissin' myself, and laughing like a drain!
did you know, once upon a time i used to be funny? what happened there then? dunno

there's others who kept this forum the single best forum on the net. would that they were here now!
threads like this one only inspire me to try harder! ;)
neil x x x ;)
p.s. nice to see you posting more paul too! biggrin

13 Apr 2006

Quote by davej
threads like this one only inspire me to try harder! ;)
neil x x x ;)
p.s. nice to see you posting more paul too!

you and me both mate...yeah yeah self praise is no praise, but fuck why not.
....davej who is gonna kick his arse into gear and get back to rippin the piss, cos its all got a bit slow and stodgy....

13 Apr 2006

Quote by davej
....davej who is gonna kick his arse into gear and get back to rippin the piss, cos its all got a bit slow and stodgy....

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

13 Apr 2006

Jeeez, I can't believe that I've just quoted this thread as an example of how we used to have fun many moons ago.
TE - with still smooth testicles cool

8-)

13 Apr 2006

Quote by westerross
TE - with still smooth testicles 8-)

Shame, I'm rather partial to fluffy ones :giggle: