Beanbags I hate you all

10 May 2004

Quote by scrumcioussue
Jeez guys you certainly know how to brighten a lass's day up. And as for davej your sick lol fancy wanting to waste a mcflurry like that Id much rather lick it off then offer to shave you afterwards. Im sure the girlies on here would agree with me .

DON'T EAT THE FLAKE SUE!!!!!!

10 May 2004

oi girlies gerroutta this thread.
we're rarely privy to your beautification regimes, so if you think you're watching us all and having a rite old giraffe while we shave our testes, you got another thing coming......................
<<<<< just realised wot he said!!! :doh: :doh: :doh: >>>>>>>
what i obviously meant to say was, please feel free to watch/assist in any way shape or form.......... McFlurry strictly optional!!! lol

neil x x x x

10 May 2004

Quote by davej
Dear Warwick;
I can only suggest that you ignore Davej's advice. His ridiculous suggestion of freezing 'your sack' in a shake - is just that, ridiculous!!!! :shock:
Do not be fooled, he is just trying to get you humiliated in a public place. I believe that you can do that yourself without Daves help
Regards
Paul

Really! Fun 365 thats not the case at all. I was mearly trying to help, had I wanted to get warwick to make himself look stupid in public I would have advised covering his smiffies in a Mcflurry, sticking a flake up his arse and then claim to be going to a fancy dress party as a 99. ice cream
Oh FFS... I did the flake trick last week. It's great and certainly gets attention redface

Paul

11 May 2004

In an attempt to prove that Fun 365 is trying to mislead you Warwick, I attempted to try his suggestion last night and can proudly report that the Latte, was served in a cup that couldnt accomadate a mouses ear let alone a pair of adult Smiffies and therefore I conclude that a thick shake is still your best option.

11 May 2004

Oh Warwick!! :doh:
I warned every one about shaving the old bean bag in a previous post, but you foolishly chose to ignore me!! If you think it is bad now, just wait until it starts to grow back!! :twisted: :twisted:
I can only suggest that you cut the lining in the pocket of your trousers to allow inconspicuous scratching access and start to practice working one handed now to hold you in good stead when the itchy period arrives. :shock: :shock: :shock:
Also bear in mind that when it returns, the hair will be ten times longer and thirty times stonger than it was before so start reading up on plaitting and braiding. lol

:lol: :lol:

11 May 2004

Quote by TheSarge
I can only suggest that you cut the lining in the pocket of your trousers to allow inconspicuous scratching access and start to practice working one handed now to hold you in good stead when the itchy period arrives.

erm.....yes........i've been called a w*nker many times in my life, but rather more these last few days!!! and i'm honestly NOT just playing pocket pool!! ;-)
and it occurs to me, if i'm so badly stabbed and sore, bearing in mind the other stubble rash complaints, i'm gonna have to do this at least once a day for ever and ever and ever......just in case (ahem) you know (koff) ;-)
neil of the tenders thighs etc x x x x

11 May 2004

Quote by davej
In an attempt to prove that Fun 365 is trying to mislead you Warwick, I attempted to try his suggestion last night and can proudly report that the Latte, was served in a cup that couldnt accomadate a mouses ear let alone a pair of adult Smiffies and therefore I conclude that a thick shake is still your best option.

Davej;
You should be ashamed. What you have said is a load of old 'bollocks'. mad

I personally have used my tried and trusted method today and can confirm that it works perfectly. Unfortunately, I could not get out of the house this morning to go into town and perform the operation in an eating establishment. So, I improvised and attacked the beast at home.
Sadly, I had no milk to make a Latte and had to use Dettol. I must say that I found Dettol to be an adequate substitute , although it did sting a bit and tasted awful. Also, I don't have a freezer so could not find any ice. An ideal substitute turned out to be a bottle of Chablis. Chills the bollocks after the Latte - and tastes bloody wonderful.
Sadly, I had no custard. So, thinking quickly I used a Madras curry paste, thinned with turps. Wonderful indeed. It perked the bollocks up, made the hair stand to attention and made the shaving operation extremely simple.
I would certainly advise anyone to follow this true path.
PS: My doctor says that I will be okay over time redface

Regards (from Red Hot Bollocks)
Paul

11 May 2004

The Sarge is right although I still feel that you should take the positives from it.
Now I dont know if you are a slap head like myself where the old number one is about as much style as you can get on your head these days, but think of the renewed fun you can very shortly have.
You will soon have a thatch that you can do a Beckham with and style to your own choosing. Yes plaits, braids and ponytails instantly spring to mind, but why not have beads similar to Bo Derek, how about a mullet. A fringe might look quite attractive.
Why not book an appointment with Barbie's mobile hairdressers and have some highlights etc. Yes you will look a tad foolish with your legs up on the kitchen worktop, with one of those plastic caps on your tackle with bits of hair pulled through, but think of the finish...stunning.
Why not have it permed and relieve the late seventies. You could then apply some of the new glitter gels and sprays. Compliment this with some smart looking hair slides and hey presto, you will be right up there with today's young snooker players. Why not visit your local hall, drop your Kecks and pot a few frames in the safe knowledge that as your leg is up on the table for a safety shot, you have a pair of Gonads that are bang up to date on show.
There seems to be endless possibilities to ensure that what was once, no more than a functional area of the body, can be transformed into a thing of style that given enough exposure, could make you a fashion icon copied the world over.

11 May 2004

Quote by Fun365
Sadly, I had no milk to make a Latte and had to use Dettol. I must say that I found Dettol to be an adequate substitute , although it did sting a bit and tasted awful.

I am a little stunned, no indeed shaken to the core, by Fun 365's contention that I talk bollocks, when I am only passing on tips that can or cannot be used by the recipient however I bow to any man who can cover his Swedes in Dettol and then get in a position to taste them...

11 May 2004

Quote by Davej
You will soon have a thatch that you can do a Beckham with and style to your own choosing. Yes plaits, braids and ponytails instantly spring to mind, but why not have beads similar to Bo Derek, how about a mullet. A fringe might look quite attractive.

now mine formed into naturally lovely ringlets, which i thought were very attractive!!!! :lol2:
i was informed otherwise! :cry: t'was a wrench to take a blade to 'em!!! :sad:
neil x x x x
<<< who seems to be forever learning the error of his ways >>>

11 May 2004

Quote by davej

Sadly, I had no milk to make a Latte and had to use Dettol. I must say that I found Dettol to be an adequate substitute , although it did sting a bit and tasted awful.

I am a little stunned, no indeed shaken to the core, by Fun 365's contention that I talk bollocks, when I am only passing on tips that can or cannot be used by the recipient however I bow to any man who can cover his Swedes in Dettol and then get in a position to taste them...
Davej;
lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I thought evryone did that confused

I suggest that you open yourself up for a shaving competition!!!!! You against Warwick
Well, you don't think that I want to be involved; do you :P
Paul

11 May 2004

An idea is coming to mind and a Gonad shaving race is forming.
HEY!! WARWICK!!! WHAT DO YOU SAY!!
right where's grandads strop n razor!

12 May 2004

it has been a long time since my beanbags were the subject of so much scrutiny lol

Yes Im up for the race bring it on
We need a set of rules and an officially recognised referee wink

12 May 2004

Quote by warwick
We need a set of rules and an officially recognised referee

hhhhmmmmmm??? now where would ya find such a thing?? lol

military man maybe?? or would that just be asking for trouble??? little more involved and potentially hazardous to future love and happiness than shower runs i reckon! :lol2:
neil x x x

12 May 2004

So, we need a ref (fully qualified) and some rules...
I initially thought that I should put myself up for the ref position. But after due consideration, I decided that even though fully qualified (10 years experience reffing in the Basingstoke Scrotum Shavers League) the position should be filled by one of the lovely lady members. My rationale for this is that there will need to be some feeling of the scrotums of DaveJ and Warwick to test for smoothness, and whilst I am sure that both of these gentlemen are fine and upstanding , I for one am not getting my hands round there balls. (sorry lads)
I believe that we need a master of rule definition to help us out as I do not have enough experience in this field. However I believe that there is a good case for introducing a degree of difficulty, as in Diving or Gymnastics.
Examples could be
1. One arm tied behind back (2.1)
2. No foam, custard or any other lubricant (2.8)
3. Blindfolded (3.8)
4. Shaving whilst receiving oral stimulation (3.2)
All suggestions welcome.
Regards
Paul

12 May 2004

just don't be tempted into using a Philishave for speed................

12 May 2004

I Like the idea of 4 :twisted:

12 May 2004

Quote by warwick
I Like the idea of 4 :twisted:

Warwick;
Whilst you might like the idea of 4 and it has a lesser degree of difficulty than Blindfolded, I would suggest that you think again. Think man... what if the lady (does not have to be a lady) that is providing the oral stimulation has very long hair. Will your view be obscured? Would there be the danger of her / his hair covering your scrotum.
Just some words or warning
Paul

12 May 2004

Good point Paul
Incidentally for me it does need to be a lady lol

Any offers confused

:

13 May 2004

OK,
I take no responsibility for this product (cop out I know).
I was sent today a SPAM email which had the heading "Trim sensitive areas with no irritation" and the sender was Bikini Trimmer. Being obtuse, I thought of this thread and opened the email
So here's the link if you're interested...

13 May 2004

Bugger! and not one shaved pussy shot - how do they expect to sell anything like that!
Mal
lol

13 May 2004

i think you are all barking up the wrong tree,
everyone who is anyone knows the best way to remove unwanted pubic hair is with an "epilady", i even have one that i will lend you.. no charge,,, as long as i can watch/listen to the screams!
lol

13 May 2004

Sod me .
I thought?hoped this thread had died
WBB youre welcome to watch anytime :twisted:

13 May 2004

Quote by warwick
Sod me .
I thought?hoped this thread had died
WBB youre welcome to watch anytime :twisted:

warwick sweety.. i have a feeling you are not 100 percent sure how an epilady works! :giggle:

13 May 2004

Epilady....Its been so long I dont think I know how a lady works anymore :cry:
(ps WBB I do really I was just being silly ..dont tell anyone)

13 May 2004

Daz sahves himself with his hair clippers. he does a grade one on his head and a grade one down below too. it went fine till the other week when i ran into the kitchen screaming my head off. lets put it this way..... we had no nookie for a couple of days!!! lol

16 May 2004

Warwick if your reading the other thread about aftershave dont even think about applying it there after shaving, trust me the rash you are experiancing now is nothing compared to what will develop if you " splash it all over"

16 May 2004

Quote by well_busty_babe
Sod me .
I thought?hoped this thread had died
WBB youre welcome to watch anytime :twisted:

warwick sweety.. i have a feeling you are not 100 percent sure how an epilady works! :giggle:
Yeah :!: Yeah :!: WBB - just how does an Epilady work confused

: I've never shaved my pussy and I need to know :!: :!: :!:

16 May 2004

Warwick DON'T use a epilady on yourself!!!!!!!!!
Otherwise us girls will ALL come and watch :giggle:

16 May 2004

Right Tune has alluded to it and I am gonna ask outright....
What the hell is an epilady?