Benevolent sexism

15 Jun 2011

I have just been watching TV where there was a discussion regarding benevolent sexism and how women can take offence to men who are chivalrous as it casts women as weak creatures in need of men's protection. This in turn can support gender inequality.
Some women take offence to a man who simply holds a door open for her!! Personally, I would call this manners! I would hold a door open for anyone and would expect the same despite their gender.
If I am out shopping with my hubby and he offered to carry the heavier bags, I ain't going to complain!!
Has it all gone too far?

15 Jun 2011

in my personal life i like nothing better than a male taking care of me by taking the heavy bags and holing doors open for me etc. but in a work environment god help anyone who thinks i am the weaker sex just because of my gender. i am capable and able to do things as much as any male and wouldn't expect any difference to come between that and that includes the pay. there is a difference when it comes to work and personal life but it is a fine line and easily confused, best advice for a male is to be polite at all times and offer to do things no matter gender or age its only manners after all

15 Jun 2011

What we call manners, some women would take real offence to though! Being a man must be hard work sometimes (I cant believe I just said that!) lol

15 Jun 2011

manners mean a lot to most people, at work we have a kids club on a sunday and i fake deafness unless they use please and thankyou, these are the basic forms of manners and more advanced is holding doors open for whoever may be going through next, it does not matter gender its manners, and if we dont teach the kids from the start then they wont have any in their future. i do however think that some manners are out dated such as standing when a woman walks into the room and pulling out of chairs.

15 Jun 2011

i remember about a yeer ago now when i was on a under ground train and offered my seet up to a lady. the look i got from her as she said no made me feal horrid. i will not do that again.
some women seam to want it all ways and as men god knows how we ever work them out.
yes things have gone too far with this silly pc nonsence

15 Jun 2011

Quote by Andy_Jules
Are you not being a little disingenuous? by 'expecting it' one way when you're at work but when outside of it happy to let it be different?
What is the 'difference when it comes to work and personal life' ? Surely it's best to be how you want it all the time without switching when the situation/mood suits?
(not posting to be contentious)
Andy
in my personal life i like nothing better than a male taking care of me by taking the heavy bags and holing doors open for me etc. but in a work environment god help anyone who thinks i am the weaker sex just because of my gender. i am capable and able to do things as much as any male and wouldn't expect any difference to come between that and that includes the pay. there is a difference when it comes to work and personal life but it is a fine line and easily confused, best advice for a male is to be polite at all times and offer to do things no matter gender or age its only manners after all

the only reason i expect it in my personal life is because i am used to how my partner treats me.
i dont want to be seen to be the weaker sex in my working life just like i wouldnt expect any difference in my pay grade at work just because of my gender, as am employer and as an employee i dont treat females any different to males when allocating work other than when dealing with gender issues as in cleaning toilets/changing rooms (females clean ladies toilets etc when customers are about) and i wouldnt expect any member of staff to do any job that i wasnt willing to do myself.
if i was to go through a door and someone was either just behind me or on the other side, who ever got to the door first would be expected to hold the door for the other regardless of gender.

15 Jun 2011

I will always open doors, give up my seat, offer assistance in carrying something (heavy or not) for a woman. I will do this in and out of the work place. I was raised to do these things, just as I say please and thank you. I do not do these things to belittle anyone, they are just manners and also essential for effective team work.
Now the bit that may ruffle a few feathers! If my actions offend a woman then they can suck on my sweaty balls (I won't say that to them because I'm a gent)! Men and women were not created equal. If we were then we would be asexual but we are not, as much as some feminists would love that! Men as a rule are stronger and women talk more than men. It's a fact that women use approx 3000 words a day more than a man and generally the man can lift up more weight (there are hundreds of other differences including how our brains work). However, in the work place and in society they should be treated as equals because they are! I work in a very female dominated environment and they do the same job as me and many do it better but if there is something heavy that wants lifting then they ask me! Should I be offended and say "Sorry, you get paid the same as me to do the same job, do it yourself!" No, I will move it for them.
To many people look for insult where there is non. It is never about the action or word but rather it's intent. For example if I saw a woman struggling to lift or carry something and said "Would you like a hand?" there is nothing to be offended by (even in the work place) however, if I laughed and said "Hey little woman, let a me carry that for you" that would be different and offence may be caused!
bolt

15 Jun 2011

I hate HATE people assuming I am weak, useless or incompetent. I was backing out of a parking spac in our local shopping mall, and an old bloke started signalling how I was to maneaouver. What the hell did he think I had done the other 5000 times I'd backed out of a space - waited for a competent man to come to my rescue? What an insulting idiot!
I love people helping if I ask, or obviously need it - like the person who comes over in a shop when I am looking for something and asks if they can help. That is good manners and (I hope) nothing to do with the location of my reproductive organs.
I love helping people, giving directions, holding doors for the next person. and I have brought my son up to do the same. Yes, there is a risk of a rebuttal - that's their loss. But I would hope that I never waltz in and act like a complete stranger is a dribbling incompetent.
It isn't about gender, I do hope that these gentlemen who hold doors, carry bags and give up seats, for women would be equally happy to do it for anyone on crutches, clearly hobbling with arthritis and pushing a pram.
(PS I lift my own heavy weights, if it's too much I get help to join in)

15 Jun 2011

Quote by Andy_Jules
So essentially you're 'acting' at work so as not to be seen as anything less than an equal and you're 'acting' when in a domestic situation because it's how you're used to being treated? You're a walking contradiction then?
As for the door opening, I don't see it as anything else other than common courtesy.
Andy

the only reason i expect it in my personal life is because i am used to how my partner treats me.
i dont want to be seen to be the weaker sex in my working life just like i wouldnt expect any difference in my pay grade at work just because of my gender, as am employer and as an employee i dont treat females any different to males when allocating work other than when dealing with gender issues as in cleaning toilets/changing rooms (females clean ladies toilets etc when customers are about) and i wouldnt expect any member of staff to do any job that i wasnt willing to do myself.
if i was to go through a door and someone was either just behind me or on the other side, who ever got to the door first would be expected to hold the door for the other regardless of gender.

i dont see it as acting i see it adapting to different circumstances and environments. if i was treated differently to males at work then this is classed as sexist as it would be if i was paid less than a male for doing the same work.

15 Jun 2011

Quote by foxylady2209
I hate HATE people assuming I am weak, useless or incompetent. I was backing out of a parking spac in our local shopping mall, and an old bloke started signalling how I was to maneaouver. What the hell did he think I had done the other 5000 times I'd backed out of a space - waited for a competent man to come to my rescue? What an insulting idiot!

Its happened to me also. I Never felt weak, useless or incompetent, I just wound my window down and said thank you. Its a shame when a helpful (if unnecessary act) can be seen as sexist act resulting in someone being thought of as an insulting idiot.
I suppose he could have worked for an insurance company and was fully aware that women tend to have the majority of their accidents in car parks and at junctions and round abouts and was just worried about your insurance premiums bolt

15 Jun 2011

Quote by Funlovers2009
What we call manners, some women would take real offence to though! Being a man must be hard work sometimes (I cant believe I just said that!)

Definately agree with that bit fun'....it's the bit that says "a man must be hard"

15 Jun 2011

Damned if you do and damned if you don't!
No change there then?!

15 Jun 2011

A man and a woman are approaching a door. The man quickens his step so that he arrives at the door ahead of the woman so he can hold it open for her.
She retorts "There's no need to hold the door open for me because I'm a woman"
He replies, "Madam, I'm not holding the door open because you are a woman, I'm holding it open because I am a Gentleman".
That's the difference. The sexist tarts can go fuck each other for all I care (and they probably do, frequently!). It is quite correct and proper for the male gender to have proper respect for the female gender. No wonder society as we know it (or rather, knew it) is in such as state.
I blame Harriet fucking Harman. She's the tart that started it all.
Bring back images of Maggie having a piss in the Gents below stairs at the Palace of Westminster :lol2:
On the other hand, look to the street cams in many high streets across the UK on a weekend night with women pissed as farts falling all over the place and tell me that they can justify being treated like ladies!
The world has gone mad!

15 Jun 2011

Quote by GnV
A man and a woman are approaching a door. The man quickens his step so that he arrives at the door ahead of the woman so he can hold it open for her.
She retorts "There's no need to hold the door open for me because I'm a woman"
He replies, "Madam, I'm not holding the door open because you are a woman, I'm holding it open because I am a Gentleman".

Could argue that 'twould be them that's actually being sexist in assuming that their being a woman has any bearing whatsoever on what to me is an act of simple, common courtesy? If the door opens towards me as they walk towards it, or they're following behind me as I pass through, I'd equally hold the door open for a big 'airy bloke. What am I gonna do, let it slam in his face? confused

Why, I'd be heading for a smack in the mouth, which 9 times out of 10 is what these little social graces are intended to prevent in the first place. lol

;)
Neil x x x ;)

16 Jun 2011

Quote by GnV
On the other hand, look to the street cams in many high streets across the UK on a weekend night with women pissed as farts falling all over the place and tell me that they can justify being treated like ladies!
The world has gone mad!

what like this>?

innocent