All the blokes have probably tried one or two at some time or other, and all the lassies have probably heard them. So come on gents what got you laid and what got you slapped, and ladies what lines made you moist and what made you lash out.
Mine are
The one that got me laid
" Your smile has just brightened up what has been an otherwise miserable day" (Colliers in Johnstone)
The one that got me slapped
"If you two are sisters , where is cinderella" (The traff in aldershot)
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Best and worst chatup lines.
My favourite was a welsh mate of mine
him Is there any Welsh in you ?
her No
him Would you like a bit /
or the old Aussie chestnut
Brace yerself Sheila
or how about Mr Springsteen
You aint a beauty but hey youre all right
( Havent tried any of these approaches personally which obviously accounts for my lack of success
:lol: :lol: )
ps its stairodding it down here
him Is there any Welsh in you ?
her No
him Would you like a bit /
or the old Aussie chestnut
Brace yerself Sheila
or how about Mr Springsteen
You aint a beauty but hey youre all right
( Havent tried any of these approaches personally which obviously accounts for my lack of success
:lol: :lol: )ps its stairodding it down here
Orgasminator
I remember my dear departed mum came with me to a club one night years ago , a guy came up to her and said " I,ve got my eye on you " my mum promptly replied " well keep it there while i get a brick "
:rotflmao:
:rotflmao: We used to go away for stag weekends to Great Yarmouth whenever one of us was getting married. On the coach down, we would come up with a chat line that everyone had to use for the entire weekend. One memorable and very crass line that we decided to use was:
"You're so hot you make the cheese under my foreskin bubble!"
50% of us got slapped and 50% of us got a shag.!!!
I was in the former group unfortunately :cry: but hey!. it was a blast!
Another was:
"Can I rivet you to the bed with my rampant love rod?"
But my personal fave is this one:
You take a dice out with you and when you spot the object of your lust you give her the dice. You tell her that if she rolls between a 1 and a 5 she gets to go home with you for some horny rump-pumpy.
Now being a woman, they always ask, "What if I throw a 6?", to which you respond, "You get another throw!"
"You're so hot you make the cheese under my foreskin bubble!"
50% of us got slapped and 50% of us got a shag.!!!
I was in the former group unfortunately :cry: but hey!. it was a blast!
Another was:
"Can I rivet you to the bed with my rampant love rod?"
But my personal fave is this one:
You take a dice out with you and when you spot the object of your lust you give her the dice. You tell her that if she rolls between a 1 and a 5 she gets to go home with you for some horny rump-pumpy.
Now being a woman, they always ask, "What if I throw a 6?", to which you respond, "You get another throw!"
Quote by Wishmaster
We used to go away for stag weekends to Great Yarmouth whenever one of us was getting married. On the coach down, we would come up with a chat line that everyone had to use for the entire weekend. One memorable and very crass line that we decided to use was:
"You're so hot you make the cheese under my foreskin bubble!"
50% of us got slapped and 50% of us got a shag.!!!
I was in the former group unfortunately :cry: but hey!. it was a blast!
Another was:
"Can I rivet you to the bed with my rampant love rod?"
But my personal fave is this one:
You take a dice out with you and when you spot the object of your lust you give her the dice. You tell her that if she rolls between a 1 and a 5 she gets to go home with you for some horny rump-pumpy.
Now being a woman, they always ask, "What if I throw a 6?", to which you respond, "You get another throw!"
dice one was a master stroke
Quote by warwick
My favourite was a welsh mate of mine
him Is there any Welsh in you ?
her No
him Would you like a bit?
I've got to try that one
or the old Aussie chestnut
Brace yerself Sheila
or how about Mr Springsteen
You aint a beauty but hey youre all right
( Havent tried any of these approaches personally which obviously accounts for my lack of success :lol: :lol: :lol: )
ps its stairodding it down here
Sexlightened
Its not so much a line but a few years ago I was out in Newcastle for the night. We ended up on the boat and I seen a bunch of girls on the dance floor with balloons in their hands.
I had a bit of a look and seen one that was rather nice and went over to her. I didn't have a line in my head as I was just going to wing it. I got over to her and thought feck it why not burst her balloon. I walked infront of her gave her the eye and then walked behind her and burst it.
My next 'move' was going to be " well I burst your balloon the least I can do is get you a drink........" but to my surprise she snogged the face off me before heading back the hotel for a bit of fun.
I swear it's true the lads that were with me thought it was great, that said so did I and as for her well I think she enjoyed herself as well
I had a bit of a look and seen one that was rather nice and went over to her. I didn't have a line in my head as I was just going to wing it. I got over to her and thought feck it why not burst her balloon. I walked infront of her gave her the eye and then walked behind her and burst it.
My next 'move' was going to be " well I burst your balloon the least I can do is get you a drink........" but to my surprise she snogged the face off me before heading back the hotel for a bit of fun.
I swear it's true the lads that were with me thought it was great, that said so did I and as for her well I think she enjoyed herself as well
Quote by chazxx
Its not so much a line but a few years ago I was out in Newcastle for the night. We ended up on the boat and I seen a bunch of girls on the dance floor with balloons in their hands.
I had a bit of a look and seen one that was rather nice and went over to her. I didn't have a line in my head as I was just going to wing it. I got over to her and thought feck it why not burst her balloon. I walked infront of her gave her the eye and then walked behind her and burst it.
My next 'move' was going to be " well I burst your balloon the least I can do is get you a drink........" but to my surprise she snogged the face off me before heading back the hotel for a bit of fun.
I swear it's true the lads that were with me thought it was great, that said so did I and as for her well I think she enjoyed herself as well
That could have gone soooooo horribly wrong ... she could've turned round and said: "Well as you've burst my balloon I'm gonna burst yours, now piss off ya geek!" .. tsk tsk .. laid yaself wide open there but all's well that end's well.... she was pissed and took pity on ya ... hehehe
