Hats off to Bloke2005 for his inspired 'Shag/Shoot/Marry' thread.
It did make me realise though that the definites (shag Candice off Corrie, marry Christy Turlington, shoot Jade Goody) are not half as much fun as the ones where ten people say 'shoot' and one person says 'actually, hang on a minute...'.
Viz magazine used to run a series looking at women that you kind of would shag, even though your mates all think they are mingers, and they titled it, quaintly, 'Borderline Boilers'. In this enlightened age the term can be applied to either gender, and I was lucky enough to find a ready made list courtesy of Google.
So, have a look at the list below. I've stuck my neck out and noted the ladies who would reflect my own opinions. Anyone brave enough to risk public ridicule and prolonged piss-taking by adding their own comments or suggestions?
Cheers
Cock of the North
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Fern Britton
Kat Slater
Deirdrie Barlow
Margaret Thatcher
Patsy from AbFab
Margot Leadbetter - Possibly... It's that posh neighbour fantasty.
Fergie
Anne Robinson
Condoleeza Rice
Moira Stuart
Jo Brand
Waynetta Slob
Rebecca Loos - Is she even borderline!? Posh, exotic, nympho, lesbian?
Ruby Wax
Basildon Chavs - Everyone secretly likes scrawny girls with signet rings
Alanis Morrisette
Brigitte Bardot
Bridget Jones - Yes, big knickers and all
Vinnie Jones
Vinnie from Coronation Street
Kirstie Alsop (Location x 3) - For sure. It's those tailored coats and pointy shoes.
Celine Dion
Sarah Jessica Parker
Glenn Close
Mo Mowlam
Judy Finnegan
Mutya Sugababe
Louis Theroux
Esther Rantzen
Anne Diamond
Chris Tarrant's wife
Bella Emberg
Kelly Emberg
Kelly Holmes - Yep, though with those muscles she might just rip it off...
Eamonn Holmes
Eamonn Andrews
Julie Andrews
Anna Nicole Smith
Anna Ryder Richardson - Defo, she just looks like a very filthy woman.
Frances de la Tour
Cherie
Cher
Jennie Bond
Janet Street Porter
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'Borderline Boilers'
Sex God
mmmmm Vinnie Jones, he's a bad, bad boy :twisted:
Not heard of some of them
Bev
xx
Not heard of some of them
Bev
xx
Ooooh I think some of them on that list are gorgeous :shock:
How can anyone thing that Alanis Morrisette or Louis Theroux are awful, they're so scrummy
ooooooh and Vinnie Jones 8-) Brigitte Bardot, Brigit Jones, wow!!!! 8-)
Some of em I haven't heard of tho :confused:
No nos for me would be........ ummmmm can't think of any
ummmmmmmm :undecided:
Trying to think of the people that are so far up their own arse they haven't got a clue what the outside world is like .......... Britney Spears, Donald Trump, Naomi Campbell ... those sorts YUK, BLEUGH!!!!!
How can anyone thing that Alanis Morrisette or Louis Theroux are awful, they're so scrummy
ooooooh and Vinnie Jones 8-) Brigitte Bardot, Brigit Jones, wow!!!! 8-) Some of em I haven't heard of tho :confused:
No nos for me would be........ ummmmm can't think of any
ummmmmmmm :undecided:
Trying to think of the people that are so far up their own arse they haven't got a clue what the outside world is like .......... Britney Spears, Donald Trump, Naomi Campbell ... those sorts YUK, BLEUGH!!!!!
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Trying to think of the people that are so far up their own arse they haven't got a clue what the outside world is like .......... !
<------------------
Quote by davej
Trying to think of the people that are so far up their own arse they haven't got a clue what the outside world is like .......... !
<------------------
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Even with your head crammed squarly up yer jacksy Dave, you're on the scrummy gorgeous list
Thank you Libra-Love, that's a vivid but disturbing image...
SwingingHeaven seems a pretty broad church. I would be suprised if between us all we couldn't actually find someone who holds a torch for each and every person on that list.
Anyone want to bagsy* Waynetta Slob to avoid the rush?
Oh, I have another: A girl in my office has a thing for Michael Portillo. Surely no-one can match that?
Cheers
Cock of the North
*'Bagsy' as in schoolboy terminology for 'pick'. 'Bagsying' is not a euphemism for some sexual act. Or at least if it is I'm missing out.
SwingingHeaven seems a pretty broad church. I would be suprised if between us all we couldn't actually find someone who holds a torch for each and every person on that list.
Anyone want to bagsy* Waynetta Slob to avoid the rush?
Oh, I have another: A girl in my office has a thing for Michael Portillo. Surely no-one can match that?
Cheers
Cock of the North
*'Bagsy' as in schoolboy terminology for 'pick'. 'Bagsying' is not a euphemism for some sexual act. Or at least if it is I'm missing out.
Quote by Rainbows
And I'm with Missy on Alanis Morrisette!! Ohh goody can we have a 3sum :happy:
You're doing it again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You find it funny to see a grown woman at a loss for words and stuttering don't you!!!!! :smackbottom: :rotflmao:I am soooooo gonna want to shag you when we meet up!!!! Then you will be scared then I will chase after and you will be screaming gerraway weirdo and I will be going nooooooooo I love you and you will get more scared and cry and I will console you and say lets shag and you will say ok and we will live happily ever after....
yeh that's what will happen :lol2:
Quote by DreamerHelen
Sorry Misschief but I actually rather fancy Donald Trump....(it's okay, you already knew I was crazy
)
Awwwww Helen :lol2: He is a good looking bloke, I just think he would be even more good looking if he could wipe all the arrogance of his face
Quote by MISSCHIEF
I am soooooo gonna want to shag you when we meet up!!!! Then you will be scared then I will chase after and you will be screaming gerraway weirdo and I will be going nooooooooo I love you and you will get more scared and cry and I will console you and say lets shag and you will say ok and we will live happily ever after....
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: I can run fast!!
:lol: 
Sex God
Yes, Alanis Morisette, definitely for me please...and Kerrie Gosney, who does the weather on Yorkshire TV.
Mike.
Mike.
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
[I am soooooo gonna want to shag you when we meet up!!!! Then you will be scared then I will chase after and you will be screaming gerraway weirdo and I will be going nooooooooo I love you and you will get more scared and cry and I will console you and say lets shag and you will say ok and we will live happily ever after....
Ahem, glad to see the story telling technique is up to scratch then :!:
Sex God
Quote by Cock of the North
...shag Candice off Corrie,...
That's quite a trick - what's the technique? Probably upset Corrie though.
Sex God
Missy and Rainbow shaging - hmmm what can I say about that, :
lets say the thought it intreging.
:twisted: Mike
: lets say the thought it intreging.
:twisted: Mike
Sex God
Quote by MikeC
Missy and Rainbow shaging - hmmm what can I say about that,
lets say the thought it intreging.
:twisted: Mike
Oh great, thanks a lot, now I'm having palpitations. :twisted:
Sex God
Quote by Ice Pie
Oh great, thanks a lot, now I'm having palpitations. :twisted:
If you're managing to keep it down to palpitations mate, you doing very well :!: :!:
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Nope, looks like she's cleared off to do working type stuff
Never mind, Toon and I will keep you fluffy until her return ;)
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Oi Miss Bows!!!!!!!
Get yer cute little backside back in here
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Nope, looks like she's cleared off to do working type stuff
You rang Missy!!!!! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
What can I help you with? :angel: :angel:
Aaah - I see now!!!
IcePie
:smackbottom: Oh and - you too TE!!! :smackbottom: :smackbottom:
So now - Missy - about this shag???? :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Sex God
Quote by Ice Pie
Nope, looks like she's cleared off to do working type stuff
Never mind, Toon and I will keep you fluffy until her return ;)
Errr I was thinking ragged more like. Then Miss Bows can have her wicked way.....
