bum sex

28 Jan 2007

Quote by Freckledbird
im not going to marry her.

Oh, at least there's some hope for her then! lol

the other is a good shag

28 Jan 2007

Quote by freimation
im not going to marry her.

Oh, at least there's some hope for her then! lol

the other is a good shag
Awwwwwww that's so kind - your mate like her then, does he? :lol:

28 Jan 2007

Quote by jaymar
yes she is all woman just a thourght mabey this might lead me to her kinky side with a bit of luck porno sex just the way i like it.

Ahhhhh so you have an ulterior motive for considering allowing her to do it to you!well i like a dirty bird but they,ve got to be very sexy and fit this might save me some time just get into the hard core sex early none of this geting to know each other first straight for the main course long boots pvc that kind of thing.
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: where have you been all my life Friemation? :sad:about 247 miles away

28 Jan 2007

Hey. at least she asked first, eh? lol

I'd aim for something a bit (lot) smaller than rabbit and build up slowly. I'm practially watertight - rabbits are too big for me vaginally never mind anally. :shock:
Give and take is important but personally I'd never to do something just to get something back.

28 Jan 2007

omg..its a biology lesson on a sunday afternoon!! i dont wana have to concentrate!! my head hurts lol

as every1 else has said dont do anything you dont wana... cool

28 Jan 2007

Quote by Marya_Northeast
Hey. at least she asked first, eh?
I'd aim for something a bit (lot) smaller than rabbit and build up slowly. I'm practially watertight - rabbits are too big for me vaginally never mind anally. :shock:
Give and take is important but personally I'd never to do something just to get something back.

well my micky is about the size of a rampant rabit so we would be in trouble babe

28 Jan 2007

Quote by freimation
Hey. at least she asked first, eh?
I'd aim for something a bit (lot) smaller than rabbit and build up slowly. I'm practially watertight - rabbits are too big for me vaginally never mind anally. :shock:
Give and take is important but personally I'd never to do something just to get something back.

well my micky is about the size of a rampant rabit so we would be in trouble babe
rolleyes

28 Jan 2007

Quote by Marya_Northeast
I'd aim for something a bit (lot) smaller than rabbit and build up slowly. I'm practially watertight - rabbits are too big for me vaginally never mind anally. :shock:

Im so glad to hear that, I thought it was just me who is that tight, thought I was healing up due to lack of use redface

28 Jan 2007

Quote by Whatyalike2do
................................Oh and please have a big poo first

...otherwise it might be an anus horribilis. :cry:

28 Jan 2007

Quote by MikeNorth
................................Oh and please have a big poo first

...otherwise it might be an anus horribilis. :cry:
:laughabove: :laughabove: Love it!
(the joke that is!)
.

28 Jan 2007

DON'T use a rabbit - too many twiddly bits to clean if it all goes wrong confused

I did write a very sensible post on a similar thread to this some weeks back.... let me see... lol

PS: Den - I'm shocked! No, really I am wink

28 Jan 2007

Quote by freimation
Hey. at least she asked first, eh?
I'd aim for something a bit (lot) smaller than rabbit and build up slowly. I'm practially watertight - rabbits are too big for me vaginally never mind anally. :shock:
Give and take is important but personally I'd never to do something just to get something back.

well my micky is about the size of a rampant rabit so we would be in trouble babe
Babe? :shock: Just for that, I'd fuck yer arse too :giggle:
and ..ummm ... does your "micky" have a smiley face and pointy ears too? :lol:

28 Jan 2007

Quote by Marya_Northeast
Hey. at least she asked first, eh?
I'd aim for something a bit (lot) smaller than rabbit and build up slowly. I'm practially watertight - rabbits are too big for me vaginally never mind anally. :shock:
Give and take is important but personally I'd never to do something just to get something back.

well my micky is about the size of a rampant rabit so we would be in trouble babe
Babe? :shock: Just for that, I'd fuck yer arse too :giggle:
and ..ummm ... does your "micky" have a smiley face and pointy ears too? :lol:
rotflmao

I can't find my post as I'm crap at searching....

28 Jan 2007

Quote by Marya_Northeast
and ..ummm ... does your "micky" have a smiley face and pointy ears too?

This Micky?

Look he's got his finger ready an' everythin' :lol:

28 Jan 2007

Quote by Bloke2005
I can't find my post as I'm crap at searching....

Quote by Bloke2005
OK, let's all sit down, hold hands, be nice, take a deep breath (or pant!) and think about this for a minute (and if you relax, anal sex doesn't hurt half as much as you start out)
‘The whole world of gays can not be surrounded by the stink of poop’ because ....if yer gonna try anal sex please take notice of the following:
1) wear a condom if your doing the fucking – nuff said
2) try and douche first – this involves rinsing out the arse area and most sex shops sell something that will fit onto the taps/shower to do this :P
3) try and take a crap at least a couple of hours before – that way, there’s nobody ‘waiting at the bus stop when the bus pulls in’ (this is an analogy… no play on words intended) :wink:
4) use LOTS of water-based lube – this will help ensure that you don’t tear the arse or lining, don’t come away with hemorrhoids (usually as a result of friction) and make the whole experience a lot more pleasant :thumbup:
5) don’t just 'whop' the thing up there – there are (at least) TWO rings of muscle AKA the anal sphincter and these will relax in their own good time – not observing this rule will produce momentary pain whereby women will be reminded of the moment when their first child’s head crowns (except not as bad) and for you men, the moment you first got kicked in the balls repeatedly by a bloke with size 12 feet (except worse)
6) relax and avoid the urge to push if you can – however, you might feel like you want to take a crap and if the moment doesn’t pass, do so, and then repeat rule 2
This list is NOT exhaustive and I am sure others will add their 'top tips' for poo free anal shortly.
Have fun and enjoy anal sex :thumbup:

There you go Bloke, now don't lose it again ;)

28 Jan 2007

Thank you

28 Jan 2007

:twisted: i hope she does lube you up first especially if its finger then fist
more lube more lube
oh and dont worry about a poo first cos if she does get her fist up there before rabbit then a big poo will have no trouble getting out afterwards lol

29 Jan 2007

Quote by freimation
just spoke to her on the phone she wants to get it on camcorder dirty bird result.

:mrgreen: Who said romance was dead?
Funniest thread I've read anywhere, for ages.
Thanks everyone.

29 Jan 2007

Quote by freimation
just spoke to her on the phone she wants to get it on camcorder dirty bird result.

God you get more appealing every minute! :shock:

29 Jan 2007

Quote by jaymar
just spoke to her on the phone she wants to get it on camcorder dirty bird result.

God you get more appealing every minute! :shock:i dont do shy lifes tooo short to be shy so when you we meeting up then.

29 Jan 2007

Quote by freimation
just spoke to her on the phone she wants to get it on camcorder dirty bird result.

God you get more appealing every minute! :shock:i dont do shy lifes tooo short to be shy so when you we meeting up then.
I'm too squeaky clean for you 'babe' rolleyes

29 Jan 2007

dont worry babe i,ll dirty you up

29 Jan 2007

Quote by freimation
dont worry babe i,ll dirty you up

I've just done the housework, cleaned the floors and emptied the hoover bag, am I very dirty??? cool

29 Jan 2007

when i finish with you dity bird will be your new name on this site.
now get your camcorder and your thigh high boots on and lets get dirty.

29 Jan 2007

if she uses a vibrator anally you will cum very strongly and more volume as the prostate is stimulated, you may also feel like a second orgasm as vibro is withdrawn, just enjoy it, use a clean toy and plenty of lube, dont force it in!
cum well

29 Jan 2007

don't use one of those with the multi heads that can detach inside you! A smoooth plastic one piece vibro of about 8" is fine, avoid ribs and nobbles and wash it well

29 Jan 2007

i take it you guys have done this before.

29 Jan 2007

:kareoke:
"Oh Mickey what a pity you don't understand- he sticks you up my arse when he's tired of his hand"
:kareoke:
bolt

29 Jan 2007

Quote by winchwench
:karaoke:
"Oh Mickey what a pity you don't understand- he sticks you up my arse when he's tired of his hand"
:karaoke:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

29 Jan 2007

I spelt it with an "e" didn't I?
redface

Fecking pub signs and their mis-spellings, they're infiltrating my brain I tell ya! :doh: