Has anyone else found the same problem as I?
When it comes to swinging etc I can be quite dominant and over the years, although I don't actually physically play as in shagging with anyone other than My Mrs, I have indulged in some domination and mild slave master scenarios with others. Got to say I rather enjoyed the experiences and have been told I'm not bad at being a 'Dom' male.
Weird thing is I cannot for the life of me be this way with My Mrs. We've both tried on numerous occasions but each time its failed. She cant be 'domme' with me either. It all just feels so false between us two whilst its great fun if it is with someone else.
What's the problem? You fall about laffin' in a 'Check me out being all manly and stuff' kinda way, or is it more the 'Me Mam would chuffin' kill me if she heard this coming out me mouth' that really ruins it for you? It's the 'me mam'll kill me' thing that ruins the dom thing for me mainly. Hard being brought up a feminist when you're a bloke, innit? ;)
This isn't something I've encountered in a similar situation to yours...however, it is likely that you two know each other too well to be convinced by the other's change to a dominant, or sub', role. If you've been together for a while then chances are that you've been through lots together, counted upon each other, and generally got so close that no one knows you better than your partner. To pull off a switch of character is more likely to work in a fancy dress, way out, and comedic sort of way.
The other thing is that being a master and or a slave is much more a state of mind than anything else. So even if one ties the other to the bedposts, inflicts some punishment, and uses at will, the whole scenario still requires using one's imagination to some degree...not that you won't still enjoy. It could probably be summed up in the following phrase..."please may I have permission to abuse you"? Neither of you wishes to commit any act which offends the other....it's not in your nature.
To follow on from where skinny left, perhaps neither of you has a particular need or desire to fuck that way. My husband also has no interest in D/s, but I do so he will occasionally top me, just to satisfy my need. It can only go so far: after 13 years he still finds it amusing that I'd get off like this, and though I think these days he enjoys it, for the most part he is merely going through the motions rather than really getting into it. Also, he refuses to abuse me verbally, spit on me or slap me on the face - this is through conscious decision rather than inability to carry out these specific tasks. He enjoys these things only collaterally, so if I were the same there would be hardly any reason to do them ;)
