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Can I please have a list...

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... of all subjects which are acceptable to the PC mafia as humour?
I mean, I'm a bit confused you see. We can poke fun at people with small willies but not people with big bellies. We can have a giggle at the expense of the French but not the Irish. We can ridicule the straight but not the gay.
Here's a challenge to the politically correct morons who are spoiling this site for the tolerant majority: Tell me a joke - any joke - that I can't pretend to find offensive. If you had a sense of humour you would realise that ALL humour is based on someone else's failure or misfortune and every joke you tell has a butt, you just don't like it when the butt is you, or when laughing would cost you points on the politically correct leaderboard.
Go on, tell me a guaranteed non-offensive joke and I'll throw it right back in your humourless face and see how you fucking like it!!!! mad
I think your post is quite a good joke and it didn't offend me
Quote by Ice Pie
... of all subjects which are acceptable to the PC mafia as humour?
I mean, I'm a bit confused you see. We can poke fun at people with small willies but not people with big bellies. We can have a giggle at the expense of the French but not the Irish. We can ridicule the straight but not the gay.
Here's a challenge to the politically correct morons who are spoiling this site for the tolerant majority: Tell me a joke - any joke - that I can't pretend to find offensive. If you had a sense of humour you would realise that ALL humour is based on someone else's failure or misfortune and every joke you tell has a butt, you just don't like it when the butt is you, or when laughing would cost you points on the politically correct leaderboard.
Go on, tell me a guaranteed non-offensive joke and I'll throw it right back in your humourless face and see how you fucking like it!!!! mad

Exactly the point I was trying to make in the Aids thread!
Ask me if I'm an orange.
Jas
XXX
Knock Knock
Who's there
Dr
Dr Who
Ta Daaaaa !
(I didnt say it was a good joke)
OK IcePie, see how you make this offensive to anyone....
2 Goldfish in a tank, one looks at the other and says
"How do you drive this thing?"
Joke told to me by my 5 year old cousin. BTW confused
Quote by Jas-Tim
Ask me if I'm an orange.
Jas
XXX

Are you an orange?
Quote by tallnhairy
Ask me if I'm an orange.
Jas
XXX

Are you an orange?
No
Please excuse the language folks, it's not often I get genuinely angry about stuff on here, but all this point scoring and playing the victim has really got on my nerves. sad
Quote by Jas-Tim
Ask me if I'm an orange.
Jas
XXX

Are you an orange?
No
but you realise the plight of the metaphorical orange pickers ;) and the hassle of removing red nose day hair colour that has left poor mrs TnH light pink...
Quote by Ice Pie
Please excuse the language folks, it's not often I get genuinely angry about stuff on here, but all this point scoring and playing the victim has really got on my nerves. sad

You not the only one mate smile well you are the only IcePie but you know what I mean...
Quote by BigDanny12999
OK IcePie, see how you make this offensive to anyone....
2 Goldfish in a tank, one looks at the other and says
"How do you drive this thing?"
Joke told to me by my 5 year old cousin. BTW confused

My grandfather was crippled during the war while driving a tank, and I find it deeply offensive that you should choose to poke fun at those who risk their lives for your freedom. mad
Next!
Quote by tallnhairy
Ask me if I'm an orange.
Jas
XXX

Are you an orange?
Actually, thanks to San Tropez self tan, I am quite Orange and I take offense at anyone who thinks it is funny to ask other people in a public forum if they are orange.
it is not only coulorist, it is also a mockery of us that are solarly challenged and I am personally going to write to my MP to have you prosecuted for discrimination. mad
Quote by jameswestlondon
Orange is deeply offensive to Catholics

And to lemons!
Quote by jameswestlondon
Orange is deeply offensive to Catholics

I find that deeply offensive!
wink
Quote by Ice Pie
OK IcePie, see how you make this offensive to anyone....
2 Goldfish in a tank, one looks at the other and says
"How do you drive this thing?"
Joke told to me by my 5 year old cousin. BTW confused

My grandfather was crippled during the war while driving a tank, and I find it deeply offensive that you should choose to poke fun at those who risk their lives for your freedom. mad
Next!
Um... dont miss mine above...... And kinda hoping you can smash it down.. I think this thread will turn into a serious challenge to find an in-offensive joke smile
Quote by luv2lick
Knock Knock
Who's there
Dr
Dr Who
Ta Daaaaa !
(I didnt say it was a good joke)

Yes, well, it's OK for people who can hear the knock, but what about my deaf auntie who died because she couldn't hear the doctor who had called round to change her prescription?
I really think you should be more sensitive to the plight of those less fortunate than yourself. mad
Next!
No green jacket
The real problem is different people get offended by different things. (Profound statement or what rolleyes )
Over the last few days there has been a joke about a blck retard - some found it funny, some found it offensive so it was locked.
The labrador joke, for all Fran n Leons waffling on about irony the emoticon they used was mad which indicated offence so that was locked.
The Aids letter, I locked that because I was trying to keep all the comments around PCness to the leaving thread, (trust bloody Ice to start another one :P )and a couple of people said they were offended.
I honestly believe that there is very little posted on these boards that is overly offensive to any group but people will always react, often just for the sake of it, and the cynic in me suggests to get brownie points from others, "OOO look at me, I love the world and am nasty to no one."
I've put in for my sense of humour bypass, and would suggest that others do the same or stop posting completely. :P
Oh and I admit to being totally orangist so flipa
Jas
XXX
And to suggest it is the only fruit would be beyond the pale
Quote by jameswestlondon
And to suggest it is the only fruit would be beyond the pale

Fascist! It would also be beyond the dark but oh no, you had to single out those of a lighter hue didn't you? mad
Gerry Adams wakes up in a good mood, goes to the bathroom looks in the mirror and thinks “jeez I look good, but whats that funny smell?”
Goes down for breakfast and the wife kisses him good morning and says “jeez you look good this morning, but whats the smell?”
Arrives at the Sinn Fein office and Martin says “ Hi Gerry, you look fantastic, can you smell something?”
Well Gerry is pissed off about this and goes to see his doctor. He explains that everyone has been complimenting him but what is the smell?
The doctor looks at him for a second and then says “Mr Adams, I know exactly what is wrong here……………..
Your’e a c*nt!”
I know, I know – offensive to c*nts
Quote by Ice Pie
... of all subjects which are acceptable to the PC mafia as humour?
I mean, I'm a bit confused you see. We can poke fun at people with small willies but not people with big bellies. We can have a giggle at the expense of the French but not the Irish. We can ridicule the straight but not the gay.
Here's a challenge to the politically correct morons who are spoiling this site for the tolerant majority: Tell me a joke - any joke - that I can't pretend to find offensive. If you had a sense of humour you would realise that ALL humour is based on someone else's failure or misfortune and every joke you tell has a butt, you just don't like it when the butt is you, or when laughing would cost you points on the politically correct leaderboard.
Go on, tell me a guaranteed non-offensive joke and I'll throw it right back in your humourless face and see how you fucking like it!!!! mad

absolutely :thumbup:
Quote by Ice Pie
And to suggest it is the only fruit would be beyond the pale

Fascist! It would also be beyond the dark but oh no, you had to single out those of a lighter hue didn't you? mad
Sorry, you're right. Beyond all colours
Quote by Happy Cats
Gerry Adams wakes up in a good mood, goes to the bathroom looks in the mirror and thinks “jeez I look good, but whats that funny smell?”
Goes down for breakfast and the wife kisses him good morning and says “jeez you look good this morning, but whats the smell?”
Arrives at the Sinn Fein office and Martin says “ Hi Gerry, you look fantastic, can you smell something?”
Well Gerry is pissed off about this and goes to see his doctor. He explains that everyone has been complimenting him but what is the smell?
The doctor looks at him for a second and then says “Mr Adams, I know exactly what is wrong here……………..
Your’e a c*nt!”
I know, I know – offensive to c*nts

12 years ago my car was destroyed by a bomb in a car park (actually that's true so it might not strictly count) and I am deeply traumatised by you reminding of the event in such a callous way. Terrorists are not a fit subject for levity! mad
Next!
Quote by Happy Cats
Gerry Adams wakes up in a good mood, goes to the bathroom looks in the mirror and thinks “jeez I look good, but whats that funny smell?”
Goes down for breakfast and the wife kisses him good morning and says “jeez you look good this morning, but whats the smell?”
Arrives at the Sinn Fein office and Martin says “ Hi Gerry, you look fantastic, can you smell something?”
Well Gerry is pissed off about this and goes to see his doctor. He explains that everyone has been complimenting him but what is the smell?
The doctor looks at him for a second and then says “Mr Adams, I know exactly what is wrong here……………..
Your’e a c*nt!”
I know, I know – offensive to c*nts

Have you ever wondered what would happen if all cunts united and had synchronised periods?! :shock:
God I love it when you talk dirty Libra-Love :twisted:
Quote by Libra-Love
Gerry Adams wakes up in a good mood, goes to the bathroom looks in the mirror and thinks “jeez I look good, but whats that funny smell?”
Goes down for breakfast and the wife kisses him good morning and says “jeez you look good this morning, but whats the smell?”
Arrives at the Sinn Fein office and Martin says “ Hi Gerry, you look fantastic, can you smell something?”
Well Gerry is pissed off about this and goes to see his doctor. He explains that everyone has been complimenting him but what is the smell?
The doctor looks at him for a second and then says “Mr Adams, I know exactly what is wrong here……………..
Your’e a c*nt!”
I know, I know – offensive to c*nts

Have you ever wondered what would happen if all cunts united and had synchronised periods?! :shock:
I thought they had and are playing at Southampton today lol
Now I'm feeling deeply offended that I have absolutely no idea what the hell you're all harping on about.
I think it is totally unfair and discriminative of you all to have such private secrets and not share with non-swinging and the cyber-challenged members of this site.
It's not my fault I've only got a shitty computer, busy life-style and can't use the net as much as I'd like and that I live in fear of my university discovering I use their IT suite to access adult sites!
Deeply Offended in the NorthEast (we're offended by just about anything anyway).