Never tugged and wham bammed in my life.
I need lots of foreplay, mental and physical, to even begin the journey. I consider myself rather fortunate.
In terms of enjoyment, I dont see orgasm, theirs or mine, as an imperative, simply a natural part of sensual sexual experience that may or may not happen.
I dont get frustrated if I dont orgasm. I enjoy sex whether I come or not. I do get frustrated if my partners sole ambition is the big "o" for me and I sympathise with those posts that make a similar point.