Catch 22

20 Jun 2005

I just had a very nice and polite reply from Sean ref the north east munch,
Basically I need to post more to stop being a site newbie --- which I fully understand.
However since joining the site although I check in daily and read thru a good few topics - I've only made a very few posts!
So here's my catch 22 dilemma :-
If I'd been to a munch and met loads of the regular members ..... Then I'd probably be involved in far more conversations ..... and thereby would not be considered so much of a newbie???
Unfortunately as I haven't been to a munch and have not met any regulars ---- I'm viewing messages from strangers
(albeit some of those strangers seem to be lovely people from what they write and from reading their profiles lol

)
but neverthe less they are still strangers ----- which means that a) I'm more reluctant to butt into someone elses conversation.... and b) Even when I do add my two pennath worth --- I'm far less likely to get a direct reply and get to know people..... basically because They don't know me!!!!! ---- and therefore are probably more inclined to miss my comments and answer comments above or below me from a regular that they probably know!
And who can blame them?
So there you have it .....catch 22 ..... how does a newbie get to know the regs and vice-versa
My conclusion would be to start a new topic laying out the problem in the hope that it stirs up interest from some regulars or other newbies --- thereby at least giving us chance to get to know each other..
And at the same time adding to my number of post ..... making me look less of a newbie for some future munch invite....
Would another answer be to have someone organise a newbie munch specifically to introduce newbies to regulars --- or would that be too risky bearing in mind that in my short membership of SH I've also seen some uncouth and basically none pleasant people posting allsorts of totally uninteresting and sometimes offensive posts?.
Leading to yet another Catch 22 for the regulars...
How do the regulars who seem to welcome one and all with open arms determine whom to actually invest time in - in terms of building new friendships?????
So I guess it's catch 22 all round?
Regards
Atlantis

20 Jun 2005

Just do like some others do, including me.... be nice, post your opinion on everything as people will read it regardless of whether they'll reply and people will eventually notice you or something you say. In a cafe forum like this, there's dozens of different conversations going on so you're bound to contribute something that'll grab someone's attention.
Although sometimes it does feel like you're talking to an empty room

20 Jun 2005

My advice would be â€“
Donâ€™t post just with the motive to get an invite to a munch or a shag â€“ just post whenever you feel you have something to say â€“ serious or daft â€“ it doesnâ€™t matter.
Threads are not private affairs they are for anyone to post that feels they have something to contribute, as I said, serious or otherwise.
If you do that, the invites and shags might just happen anyway!

20 Jun 2005

i have a idea, how about all the newbies have a munch of there own biggrin

and if you do can i come :D

20 Jun 2005

Quote by cuddly-catlin
i have a idea, how about all the newbies have a munch of there own
and if you do can i come :D

It'd be a room full of single guys all too nervous to talk to each other and wondering where all the fit women are and why they haven't been laid yet lol

20 Jun 2005

Quote by bigDewi69
i have a idea, how about all the newbies have a munch of there own
and if you do can i come :D

It'd be a room full of single guys all too nervous to talk to each other and wondering where all the fit women are and why they haven't been laid yet lol

theres couples and single woman who are newbies, and whats wrong with a room of
single guys wink

20 Jun 2005

It's a time thing ....... you have to take time and care to establish yourself in this community and it sure isn't going to happen overnight - as frustrating as that may be. Respect others in here and respect will find it's way back to you, you get known..... you get to arrange meets..... you get munch invites.
It doesn't matter if you know someone or not to post a reply on a thread - a forum is exactly what it says on the tin - an open place to air one's view and opinions. Just don't be aggressive and try let your humour flow through your words - there is enough serious shit out there in Vanilla Land - we like to have a giggle in here.
For an example.... I don't know you do I, yet I have no problem answering on your thread. Hence, our first introduction to each other - first contact if you like. (Yup, I'm a Star Trek fan - don't bloody laugh you lot!!!)
Try popping into the chat room too as there are many who cross-populate both the forum and the chat room.
Above all else - have fun, have a giggle and have great sex!!!

20 Jun 2005

Quote by cuddly-catlin
i have a idea, how about all the newbies have a munch of there own
and if you do can i come :D

can we come 2 :D

20 Jun 2005

Quote by salt_n_pepper
i have a idea, how about all the newbies have a munch of there own
and if you do can i come :D

can we come 2 :D
you bet you can wink

:D

20 Jun 2005

What about the club meet threads, because they occur in a commercial environment, people let others know what days they are visiting on and ask who else will be attending.
See if you can get along to one of those.
That's one option.
Another option could be advertising for a regular to meet socially for a drink/coffee and chat as opposed to an all out swinging meet.
Jas
XXX

20 Jun 2005

there is a north east newbie munch being organised for newcastle in another thread (i think its on the lets meet up part)

21 Jun 2005

Thanx for all the advice biggrin

And more especially ....thanx for the replies - it certainly makes me feel more 'part' of the community, and will undoubtably make me more likely to post and get more actively involved in future debates.
I appreciate the time you all took to add your comments.
Thanx again
Regards
Atlantis

21 Jun 2005

atlantis love the avatar
tried to get the van for my avatar and could not find a mystery inc one
dewis idea about a beginners munch is a good one
however the 100 attendees and 99 of them being male and the other one is a guy in womens clothes could be the reality
its a learners market and thats the first step for all of us to get socially intergrated and accepted

21 Jun 2005

It is important to have a cut off date,how many newbies have asked for an invite to a munch on the day they joined and then never heard of again thats why its important you get to know people through your posts just to show you are serious about the site and what you want!.....its not about meeting people in person to be vouched for its about what you contribute here!

21 Jun 2005

ive posted quite abit, does that make me eligable for a munch invite? blink

21 Jun 2005

Quote by Ben1978
ive posted quite abit, does that make me eligable for a munch invite?

you have, but most of it has been rubbish!
Only kidding mate!! lol

21 Jun 2005

you'd better shag with one eye open da69e!!! :twisted:
lol

he he

21 Jun 2005

Quote by Atlantis
I just had a very nice and polite reply from Sean ref the north east munch,
And at the same time adding to my number of post ..... making me look less of a newbie for some future munch invite....
Regards
Atlantis

Atlanits,
It seems that your concerns have been raised and that sound advice has been given so I don't really have anything to add.
I just wanted to make another post!!! I am now one away from the big 150! lol

Does anybody know who I am yet? rolleyes

21 Jun 2005

Quote by Ben1978
you'd better shag with one eye open da69e!!! :twisted:
he he

21 Jun 2005

Quote by Atlantis
I just had a very nice and polite reply from Sean ref the north east munch,
Basically I need to post more to stop being a site newbie --- which I fully understand.
However since joining the site although I check in daily and read thru a good few topics - I've only made a very few posts!
So here's my catch 22 dilemma :-
If I'd been to a munch and met loads of the regular members ..... Then I'd probably be involved in far more conversations ..... and thereby would not be considered so much of a newbie???
Unfortunately as I haven't been to a munch and have not met any regulars ---- I'm viewing messages from strangers
(albeit some of those strangers seem to be lovely people from what they write and from reading their profiles )
but neverthe less they are still strangers ----- which means that a) I'm more reluctant to butt into someone elses conversation.... and b) Even when I do add my two pennath worth --- I'm far less likely to get a direct reply and get to know people..... basically because They don't know me!!!!! ---- and therefore are probably more inclined to miss my comments and answer comments above or below me from a regular that they probably know!
And who can blame them?
So there you have it .....catch 22 ..... how does a newbie get to know the regs and vice-versa
My conclusion would be to start a new topic laying out the problem in the hope that it stirs up interest from some regulars or other newbies --- thereby at least giving us chance to get to know each other..
And at the same time adding to my number of post ..... making me look less of a newbie for some future munch invite....
Would another answer be to have someone organise a newbie munch specifically to introduce newbies to regulars --- or would that be too risky bearing in mind that in my short membership of SH I've also seen some uncouth and basically none pleasant people posting allsorts of totally uninteresting and sometimes offensive posts?.
Leading to yet another Catch 22 for the regulars...
How do the regulars who seem to welcome one and all with open arms determine whom to actually invest time in - in terms of building new friendships?????
So I guess it's catch 22 all round?
Regards
Atlantis

The answer is to carry on doing exactly what you're doing. :thumbup:
You've already distinguished yourself from 90% of newbies by writing a post that has some thought behind it, which tells us a bit about you, and you will get some responses so you can find out a bit about us. And that's all there is to it really. We all started as unknowns, we weren't familiar faces overnight. Just be yourself, say what you want to say, and if you don't get a million replies, don't worry, people will still read and you'll become more familiar. biggrin

21 Jun 2005

Dont get dishearten things dont happen over nite. I just organised a munch and it went very well. I can only echo what sexysteph said wise words.
I wouldnt give a invite to some1 who had just joinedthe site to a munch but would if i saw they were joining in either in the forums or chatroom mostly are a friendly lot on here and it dont take long to get known the more u join in
hugs
Babe1
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

21 Jun 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
[
The answer is to carry on doing exactly what you're doing. :thumbup:
You've already distinguished yourself from 90% of newbies by writing a post that has some thought behind it, which tells us a bit about you, and you will get some responses so you can find out a bit about us. And that's all there is to it really. We all started as unknowns, we weren't familiar faces overnight. Just be yourself, say what you want to say, and if you don't get a million replies, don't worry, people will still read and you'll become more familiar.

What he said - can't put it much better to be honest.

21 Jun 2005

Quote by Ben1978
you'd better shag with one eye open da69e!!! :twisted:
he he

fcuk me hes nicked your v already da69ve

21 Jun 2005

Quote by SXBOY
you'd better shag with one eye open da69e!!! :twisted:
he he

fcuk me hes nicked your v already da69ve
Well i still have my 69 :lol:

21 Jun 2005

hi there im also new to the site,have used the ad's a few times to meet others and generally worked out well,im very interested in all the comments that were made and undrestand a little more about the forum and the community behind it.
im looking forward to perhaps meeting others for chats etc.
a big thanks to sarah for the first pm and hope to have a few more.
cheers
sparky530 smile