Come on lads,how many have you caught your foreskin in your flies.I have once in a pub toilet full of me it skinheads just fell about one big fucking mean skinhead come over to me,I thought I'm finished here,"What's up mate he" foreskin."Hold on" he said and back with a can."This will do it mate"he spayed the area,fuck me it was took hold of the zipper and said.
"After 3, I shall pull the zipper" "1,2".Bang,on the count of 2 he pulled the zipper with all his relief when my foreskin fell three."There you go mate,it looks like you have done no damage".Be a bit sore but be I brought him a drink and remained good friends Turns out that he was a never tell by looks can you.
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Catching your foreskin in your flies
Quote by romus
Come on lads,how many have you caught your foreskin in your flies.I have once in a pub toilet full of me it skinheads just fell about one big fucking mean skinhead come over to me,I thought I'm finished here,"What's up mate he" foreskin."Hold on" he said and back with a can."This will do it mate"he spayed the area,fuck me it was took hold of the zipper and said.
"After 3, I shall pull the zipper" "1,2".Bang,on the count of 2 he pulled the zipper with all his relief when my foreskin fell three."There you go mate,it looks like you have done no damage".Be a bit sore but be I brought him a drink and remained good friends Turns out that he was a never tell by looks can you.
did he kiss it better though ?
Quote by romus
Come on lads,how many have you caught your foreskin in your flies.I have once in a pub toilet full of me it skinheads just fell about one big fucking mean skinhead come over to me,I thought I'm finished here,"What's up mate he" foreskin."Hold on" he said and back with a can."This will do it mate"he spayed the area,fuck me it was took hold of the zipper and said.
"After 3, I shall pull the zipper" "1,2".Bang,on the count of 2 he pulled the zipper with all his relief when my foreskin fell three."There you go mate,it looks like you have done no damage".Be a bit sore but be I brought him a drink and remained good friends Turns out that he was a never tell by looks can you.
good story Quote by postie
my mother trapped mine when i was 5y/o.
had to suffer the indignation of being circumsized ever since....
Snap ive never done it but my mother did
Your mother trapped her foreskin in her flies?? :shock:
i will rephrase that my mother caught my forskin in my flies while zipping them up for me when i was a young boy Don't remember doing that but a couple of years ago whilst driving up the A34 I stopped for a wee and as usual pulled my foreskin back and had my wee. When I rolled it back a gust of wind blew a nettle onto my knob and it ended up under my foreskin. I pulled my foreskin back again real fast and thought my knob was gonna swell up to gigantic proportions but amazingly, I didn't even get stung. Bit of a shock though!
Warming the Bed
a big round of applause and a pat on the back for the bloke who invented button flies :thumbup:
Whilst at school in Scotland, we wore kilts to church on Sunday. A favourite thing to do was take a bit of a run at a pew and slide to the end. One morning a terrifying shreik was heard from one of the pews.
We being true Scots, one lad trapped his cock under a leg and attempted to skid across the pew. It produced a fearsome rip and was swollen for about a week.
We being true Scots, one lad trapped his cock under a leg and attempted to skid across the pew. It produced a fearsome rip and was swollen for about a week.
Quote by 34fun
see you women don't have these problems
Oh really ???? :shock: :shock:
well, we wont go into what happens when we're using those nasty applicator tampons then, and as ya insert one cardboard tube goes up inside the other occasionally trapping ya flaps in the process.... :shock:
and while I'm at it, anyone tried to pull one of those things out dry???
or tight thongs/gstrings that feel like cheesewire splitting ya in half - especially when driving/ sitting down somewhere that you cant immediatly get up and adjust yaself.....
and underwired bras, that have a mind of their own and decide to become un-underwired when one pops out and kebabs ya underarm.....
and lacey cupped bras that chafe nipples like sandpaper if ya dont use a bottle of Lenor everytime ya handwash them.....
and, i'm not even gonna mention childbirth :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
oh yeah, we ladies have it soooo easy
:shock: 
Sex God
Quote by Darkfire
see you women don't have these problems
Oh really ???? :shock: :shock:
well, we wont go into what happens when we're using those nasty applicator tampons then, and as ya insert one cardboard tube goes up inside the other occasionally trapping ya flaps in the process.... :shock:
and while I'm at it, anyone tried to pull one of those things out dry???
or tight thongs/gstrings that feel like cheesewire splitting ya in half - especially when driving/ sitting down somewhere that you cant immediatly get up and adjust yaself.....
and underwired bras, that have a mind of their own and decide to become un-underwired when one pops out and kebabs ya underarm.....
and lacey cupped bras that chafe nipples like sandpaper if ya dont use a bottle of Lenor everytime ya handwash them.....
and, i'm not even gonna mention childbirth :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
oh yeah, we ladies have it soooo easy
:shock:If they had to put up with all that we do.... let's face it, they couldn't :lol:
Quote by Darkfire
see you women don't have these problems
Oh really ???? :shock: :shock:
well, we wont go into what happens when we're using those nasty applicator tampons then, and as ya insert one cardboard tube goes up inside the other occasionally trapping ya flaps in the process.... :shock:
and while I'm at it, anyone tried to pull one of those things out dry???
or tight thongs/gstrings that feel like cheesewire splitting ya in half - especially when driving/ sitting down somewhere that you cant immediatly get up and adjust yaself.....
and underwired bras, that have a mind of their own and decide to become un-underwired when one pops out and kebabs ya underarm.....
and lacey cupped bras that chafe nipples like sandpaper if ya dont use a bottle of Lenor everytime ya handwash them.....
and, i'm not even gonna mention childbirth :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
oh yeah, we ladies have it soooo easy
:shock:Im with you there Darkfire, you really hit the nail on the head with allot of those, tho i cant comment on the childbirth as not been there, but if its anything worse than the worse stomach cramps, men have it far easier!!!
Quote by awol
Come on lads,how many have you caught your foreskin in your flies..
ouch! probably every man at one point in their lives
bloody hell it hurts like hell dunnit?!Anyone would think that the zip inventor was a woman bent on vengeance
I haven't yet, and hope that i prove you wrong. Have trapped plenty of pubes when going commando and that's stung like a bitch.
This bit could be worth reading 
>>>>
A tight foreskin commonly tears during intercourse and may cause profuse bleeding. A tear heals only to break down again when intercourse is next attempted. This is remedied by an elective circumcision to prevent recurrence. An alternative procedure is frenuloplasty, in which the frenulum is divided crosswise and sewn up lengthwise, thereby lengthening it.
Another common injury is the catching of a long, loose foreskin in a trouser zip. This is also treatable by circumcision, although several cases have been successfully reduced in casualty departments after soaking the affected area in a lubricating oil.
More dramatic injuries to the penis are not uncommon. They can result from seeking sexual gratification with machines such as vacuum cleaners or electric polishers. This practice is dangerous as vacuum cleaners often contain rotating blades that effectively shred the glans.
phredd
>>>>A tight foreskin commonly tears during intercourse and may cause profuse bleeding. A tear heals only to break down again when intercourse is next attempted. This is remedied by an elective circumcision to prevent recurrence. An alternative procedure is frenuloplasty, in which the frenulum is divided crosswise and sewn up lengthwise, thereby lengthening it.
Another common injury is the catching of a long, loose foreskin in a trouser zip. This is also treatable by circumcision, although several cases have been successfully reduced in casualty departments after soaking the affected area in a lubricating oil.
More dramatic injuries to the penis are not uncommon. They can result from seeking sexual gratification with machines such as vacuum cleaners or electric polishers. This practice is dangerous as vacuum cleaners often contain rotating blades that effectively shred the glans.
phredd
:smackbottom: :smackbottom: 
Master of Sex
i have just been reading the post.
and OUCH !!!!!!!!.
it has brought tears to my eyes.
it reminds me of the film " there's something about mary "
where he is gone to loo, looking out the window, and sees his prom date getting running repairs.
when he see her he zips, out sharpish, and catches his old chap in the zip.
then they all come in to see if they can get it out, and they the fireman, does and then, u can guess the rest.
this was called the frank and beans scene.
still makes me winch every time i see it, but funny.
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
and OUCH !!!!!!!!.
it has brought tears to my eyes.
it reminds me of the film " there's something about mary "
where he is gone to loo, looking out the window, and sees his prom date getting running repairs.
when he see her he zips, out sharpish, and catches his old chap in the zip.
then they all come in to see if they can get it out, and they the fireman, does and then, u can guess the rest.
this was called the frank and beans scene.
still makes me winch every time i see it, but funny.
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: I've posted this before, but I thought I would dig it out again since we're on the subject..
Was about a year ago and it was getting late on in the club. I was busting for a piddle so I ran up to the toilets and unleashed the fury against the porcelain. Things were going well, I was draining the main vain and trying desperately to avoid the splashback then as I gave it a wee shake to loosen off any hangers on, (Lets face it lads, "No matter how much you shake your peg, at least one drop goes down your leg
However, in my haste to get out of there I had forgotten one important thing. To return my little soldier to his barracks before pulling up my zipper. :shock:
I felt an almighty pain, and I looked down to see my poor wee friend intertwined with the metal teeth of the zipper. Now, any sensible man would see this travesty and make haste to the nearest A&E. No, not commando Chunky Love. Gritting my teeth like Rambo preparing to stitch a wound, I ripped the zipper downwards to free my dirty water gun.
Now, can I recommend to any other men out there that should you ever get entangled in your Wranglers that you do NOT pull down on the zipper. For the love of god, seek out a man of medicine who knows what the hell they are doing and leave it in their hands..
I looked down to see a very bloody stump wink at me, so at that point I thought it best to make haste to the nearest hospital.
Anywho, ran out to the car and raced like a mad fool to A&E. Slammed the car into a parking space and scarpered inside. Was impressed how well the receptionist managed to stifle her giggles whilst entering my details into the computer, and took a seat in the waiting room.
Shortly guided to a wee treatment room, where several nurses and doctors came through to 'inspect' the wee patient. (Remembering of course folks that it was cold, early in the morning, erm... have I said cold? Ach ok, no excuses.. It wasn't at it's most glorious of length)
Finally after lying there for about an hour bleeding, a middle aged indian doctor arrived who had obviously had just been dragged oota his bed. I think someone said he was a specialist, (Do you get willy mangling specialists?).
Anyway, made it my first priority to make this guy my new best friend, as he quite literally held my future in his hands..
After a quick inspection he said that he would stitch it back up, but should it get any worse over time the old '1-2-3-4 skin' will be getting the chop. So, laid back while I received two local anesthetic injections into the base of the penis, (Good god, I nearly backflipped back into the waiting room. Which undoubtably would have impressed the old lady sitting waiting for her husband) then the stitches.. :shock:
"So, worked here long?" said I in a vain attempt to break the embarrassed silence that was hanging in the air whilst the good doctor, looking very unimpressed, manhandled the meat and two veg... You know, it's amazing the patterns you see in roofing tiles when you do your damndest not to look at what's happening below..
Anyway, to cut a long story even longer, the doctor finished off his sewing with a mean looking cross-stitch, and snipped the thread off. (Can I just add that the snipping noise was not enjoyed either.) 8 stitches in total. And that's not some kinda idle boast to try and make out I'm some trouser gargantuan! No, those stitches were arranged 'inside to out' around my winky's polo neck.
At this point I dared a wee look at the downstairs car crash, and thank the big man I was lying down.. Jesus, it looked for all the world like one of those chest bursters from 'Aliens'.
Anyway, after a few cautionary words of advice and some pills, a handshake with the doctor signalled my departure from the hospital and my swift journey home in the motor.
Now, the worst part was that for about a month afterwards whenever I went for a piss it felt like I was passing hot magma, and the wee soldier swelled up to near three times it's size! (Which would have been impressive had it not turned a kinda black colour..) It healed up eventually though, and now I've been left with some natural ribbing where the teeth caught me!
Casanova
Oh the painfull memories come flooding back.. It was 1977 in the Isle of Man. I had been wandering about a disused building and needed to pee....the rest is history. I did manage to extract the poor chap by breaking the zip. My mam asked why my zip had broken and I had to say 'It just happened'.... Thanks for bringing that one up I had successfully forgotten about it... :cry: :cry: :cry:
Quote by taysha
as painful as it is it is better than flies in your foreskin
Damn. Someone beat me to it.
I was having visions a la "karate kid" of trying to catch flies..... It's not just me that remembers the catching flies scene in Karate Kid right?
I am so glad it wasn't just me daft enough to see that
C x
