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Chatroom Socials

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Darkfire
Sex God
So do you see chatroom people as a 'risk'?

i see walking into any group of people I dont know / have never heard of as something I seriously have to consider first, in the same way I wont go to a club alone. I dont think its that I see 'chatroom people' as a 'risk', I see anyone who looks on women as a piece of meat as a risk.
essex34m
Sex God
Quote by Darkfire
So do you see chatroom people as a 'risk'?

i see walking into any group of people I dont know / have never heard of as something I seriously have to consider first, in the same way I wont go to a club alone. I dont think its that I see 'chatroom people' as a 'risk', I see anyone who looks on women as a piece of meat as a risk.
i know what you mean with that one, its daunting walking into a munch when you feel that you are being looked at by the women as a piece of meat
Darkfire
Sex God
:laughabove: shut up Essex lol
redwine_lover
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
You cannot force people to be part of a community if they do not identify with that community.
Within society it is the norm to find multiple communities within what is considered an overall community.
But enough of communities.
I am not surprised some people are scared of munches – read the hype. Read the ‘pre’ and ‘post’ munch news! It does not sound like a friendly no pressure environment where people can have a natter and put names to faces – sometimes it sounds like an out and out orgy (sadly over exaggerated) or a reunion of old shagging buddies. Aside from that if your name isn’t down months in advance it may well not get on the list at all.
SOME of the chatroom socials are more in keeping with the original principles of a ‘munch’ than the actual munches are – I am not surprised people what to go to those with the very people they chat to each day, rather than something they have read about in here.
I won’t get into the terminology problem – but with that aside… the regular rooms with regular users seem to be successful at arranging a friendly get together - so what?
They keep it simple and easy – that is why it is so successful.
If you are worried about chatters not coming over to the forum and there being a divide – how often do you try going over and integrating with them? And I don’t mean in a locked room where you have to have been on the forum to get the password?
Some of you may find it scary yourselves – realising the forum is not the centre of the swinging heaven universe in terms of people getting together. But this is just one tiny community within a much larger community.
It once was a big thing to become a ‘regular’ on the forum and truly accepted into the fold (see the repeated advice about getting known and going to munches) there was almost a feeling of ‘status’ (you see better examples of that in another place) - but the actual truth of the matter is – it is not such a big deal. There are people getting on with what they came here for and successfully socialising with their new found friends who are blissfully unaware that the forum even exists.
Good luck to ‘um!
As long as they use the correct terminology.

:thumbup: totally agree
Are the forum people feeling a little put out because chatroom people can get on with organising things successfully without any input whatsoever from the previously indespensible forumite experts? just a thought....
RWL
Unknown User
I like meat :twisted: What was the question? lol
essex34m
Sex God
Quote by Darkfire
:laughabove: shut up Essex lol

dont you start, had Earthchild being bolshy earlier, dont you get brave as well
Unknown User
Quote by redwine_lover
Are the forum people feeling a little put out because chatroom people can get on with organising things successfully without any input whatsoever from the previously indespensible forumite experts? just a thought....
RWL

I don't think anyone was having and thoughts like that - I'm certainly not, as I've yet to go to a Munch or a Social. When I finally do get along to an event, it won't be dependant on 'who' arranges it, but how many people I will know and how local it is etc.
redwine_lover
Sex God
Quote by essex34m
:laughabove: shut up Essex lol

dont you start, had Earthchild being bolshy earlier, dont you get brave as well
well done my apprentice...stand your ground... your peice of meat is as important as any!!!!!!
:happy:
RWL
essex34m
Sex God
Quote by redwine_lover
:laughabove: shut up Essex lol

dont you start, had Earthchild being bolshy earlier, dont you get brave as well
well done my apprentice...stand your ground... your peice of meat is as important as any!!!!!!
:happy:
RWL
thank you O Mentor, you have taught me well about these needy clingy women like Darkfire
redwine_lover
Sex God
Quote by Kiss_Me
Are the forum people feeling a little put out because chatroom people can get on with organising things successfully without any input whatsoever from the previously indespensible forumite experts? just a thought....
RWL

I don't think anyone was having and thoughts like that - I'm certainly not, as I've yet to go to a Munch or a Social. When I finally do get along to an event, it won't be dependant on 'who' arranges it, but how many people I will know and how local it is etc.
we all have different reasons for attending a social...and if and when you ever go to one..your reasons for attending it will be, quite rightly, personal to you.....however, dont you think therefore that the the changing structure of socials away from the rigid "munch" programe that used to exist to a more varied mix of socials/munches/room meets or whatever, allows people a much wider choiuce of where to go to meet others...and that in itself is a major plus point...
RWL
xx
Unknown User
Quote by redwine_lover
Are the forum people feeling a little put out because chatroom people can get on with organising things successfully without any input whatsoever from the previously indespensible forumite experts? just a thought....
RWL

I don't think anyone was having and thoughts like that - I'm certainly not, as I've yet to go to a Munch or a Social. When I finally do get along to an event, it won't be dependant on 'who' arranges it, but how many people I will know and how local it is etc.
we all have different reasons for attending a social...and if and when you ever go to one..your reasons for attending it will be, quite rightly, personal to you.....however, dont you think therefore that the the changing structure of socials away from the rigid "munch" programe that used to exist to a more varied mix of socials/munches/room meets or whatever, allows people a much wider choiuce of where to go to meet others...and that in itself is a major plus point...
RWL
xx
I totally agree with you RWL - as a newbie to this website I wasn't around when things were different. I think if people what to go to a chatroom social, then so be it, if people want to attend a 'Munch' with stricter rules then I say good for them too. What does it matter as long as everyone understands/appreciates/respects the intentions or the organiser?
Unknown User
Quote by Jags
Personal hat on.
I have no opinion only a comment to offer. When I saw the guest list for an event here, just the other day, my thought was 'who the hell are these people'? I only knew three, or maybe, four names on the list and hadn't even seen the other names posting in the forum.
cool

Same here Jags. I was interested in a thread about a forthcoming event and I didn't recognise any name until a few pages in when one or two of the Cafe crowd posted. It might be that this event was discussed in a chatroom and the thread posted, with the other chatroom members joining up. It would put me off going if I didn't know anyone there but that's mainly because I would be going there alone. I wouldn't walk into a pub full of strangers alone but if I knew some of the people there, I would.
It is a shame that there's a divide between forums and chatrooms but I think a lot of it has to do with preference. Some people I chat to don't like forums, they prefer the 'real time' chat. Ditto some forum people don't like chat. I'm sure some chat users do see the forum chatroom as a closed shop and opening it would be more inviting to new people, though we all know it wouldn't take long for the 'get your tits out' brigade to arrive. rolleyes
That said, if the forum room was open, it would put me off going on cam. I feel comfortable camming at the moment because I know you all. Just my feelings on that, right or wrong
redwine_lover
Sex God
Quote by Sassy-Seren
Personal hat on.
I have no opinion only a comment to offer. When I saw the guest list for an event here, just the other day, my thought was 'who the hell are these people'? I only knew three, or maybe, four names on the list and hadn't even seen the other names posting in the forum.
cool

Same here Jags. I was interested in a thread about a forthcoming event and I didn't recognise any name until a few pages in when one or two of the Cafe crowd posted. It might be that this event was discussed in a chatroom and the thread posted, with the other chatroom members joining up. It would put me off going if I didn't know anyone there but that's mainly because I would be going there alone. I wouldn't walk into a pub full of strangers alone but if I knew some of the people there, I would.
It is a shame that there's a divide between forums and chatrooms but I think a lot of it has to do with preference. Some people I chat to don't like forums, they prefer the 'real time' chat. Ditto some forum people don't like chat. I'm sure some chat users do see the forum chatroom as a closed shop and opening it would be more inviting to new people, though we all know it wouldn't take long for the 'get your tits out' brigade to arrive. rolleyes
That said, if the forum room was open, it would put me off going on cam. I feel comfortable camming at the moment because I know you all. Just my feelings on that, right or wrong
its all about choice...personal choice...and not about "us and them"....Through the site changes, whether by design or accident, we now have access to much greater choice of where to go, who to meet and how we communicate with others.....and that cant be a bad thing..
RWL
xx
Unknown User
I agree RWL, and getting out of our comfort zone is a good thing and meeting new people
I walked into a room of about 30 people on saturday only knowing 2 of them that were there and had a fantastic time and met some great people
Earthy xx
Unknown User
I venture into the "chat rooms" from time to time but find it a bit like a "Masonic" gathering.
(1):- Locked rooms
(2):- Rooms needing passwords.
(3):- romms for men only
(4):- rooms for fems only
(5 to infinity):- and on and on and on it goes
Will I need to roll up my left trouser leg and remove all my gold rings and the like before I venture into a room soon ??
Yes I am what you would call a "forumite" but I feel the forums are going down the same road. (no doubt get flamed for that comment but IDC)
Note to all the Newbies/chatters:- If you get a refusal it is because you are not known and not because you are not wanted. I am sure the organiser of the social will explain the reason why by PM.
Enough from me .
Phredd
Unknown User
Quote by earthchild
I agree RWL, and getting out of our comfort zone is a good thing and meeting new people
I walked into a room of about 30 people on saturday only knowing 2 of them that were there and had a fantastic time and met some great people
Earthy xx

And thats the only way to meet new people...
Go to places,events that include people you dont know and introduce yourself.....
Its a wonder anyone meets anyone new here listening to some of the comments...
I recently went to a munch on my own and although I knew one or two people there I spent most of the night introducing myself to people I didnt know and having a ball..
Darkfire
Sex God
But, isnt there a difference between attending a social or munch where you may only have met a couple of people before and the rest are people you are at least familiar with from seeing them in the chatroom or forum.......... and attending something where you've never heard of most of the people there? dunno
Unknown User
Quote by Steve_Mids
I agree RWL, and getting out of our comfort zone is a good thing and meeting new people
I walked into a room of about 30 people on saturday only knowing 2 of them that were there and had a fantastic time and met some great people
Earthy xx

And thats the only way to meet new people...
Go to places,events that include people you dont know and introduce yourself.....
Its a wonder anyone meets anyone new here listening to some of the comments...
I recently went to a munch on my own and although I knew one or two people there I spent most of the night introducing myself to people I didnt know and having a ball..
Big diff there Steve. You're a bloke and it obviously doesn't bother you to go along to a social where you don't know anyone. Me? I'd be bricking it even if I knew everyone so I sure as hell wouldn't go if I knew no one.
I can only speak as a single fem but venturing into new chatrooms can be quite scary as you know you're going to be set upon by the whisper gang in 10 seconds flat so I don't use rooms I don't know. Same can be said for forums. Some people might come along and read one or two threads, see someone else getting flamed for whatever reason and think that happens all the time.
I think no matter what you do to change/improve the site, you'll always have a them and us train of thought between chatrooms and forums. Not everyone but enough to keep that divide there
Unknown User
each person is different and will do different things, as a single femal also sassy it doesnt bother me going to a social or munch on my own if i dont know anyone, well thats not true, i will be bricking it but will go, thats how i got to my first social, have to start somewhere, pming the organiser and asking if they would mind meeting you outside or know of anyone who will to take you in to introduce you to people.
going into new chat rooms doesnt bother me at all, the whisper brigade can be ignored
Earthy xx
redwine_lover
Sex God
Quote by Darkfire
But, isnt there a difference between attending a social or munch where you may only have met a couple of people before and the rest are people you are at least familiar with from seeing them in the chatroom or forum.......... and attending something where you've never heard of most of the people there? dunno

Darkfire..personal choice..i am happy doing either scenario... but appreciate others arnt...... each to their own..if u are not happy with something, dont do it...but what isnt yr cup of tea, maybe ok to others...
RWL
xx
Unknown User
Quote by Darkfire
But, isnt there a difference between attending a social or munch where you may only have met a couple of people before and the rest are people you are at least familiar with from seeing them in the chatroom or forum.......... and attending something where you've never heard of most of the people there? dunno

Half the people who were at the munch I had never heard of as they are forum only people and I am not that prolific in the forums to be honest...
Quote by Sassy-Seren
Big diff there Steve. You're a bloke and it obviously doesn't bother you to go along to a social where you don't know anyone. Me? I'd be bricking it even if I knew everyone so I sure as hell wouldn't go if I knew no one.

Agreed.....But theres nothing stopping couples mixing with new faces..
Then next time perhaps a couple you know will invite you to go and meet all the new faces they met last time....
Quote by Sassy-Seren
I can only speak as a single fem but venturing into new chatrooms can be quite scary as you know you're going to be set upon by the whisper gang in 10 seconds flat so I don't use rooms I don't know. Same can be said for forums. Some people might come along and read one or two threads, see someone else getting flamed for whatever reason and think that happens all the time.

Thats the other problem....
Most chatroom users are nice and abide by the rules but there is a nucleas who see it as their divine right to whisper and direct the night away and they will always spoil it for the rest......
Its much the same as the flamers in the forum......They seek out new posters and do their best to rip chunks out of them at every opportunity........As above.......They will always spoil it for the rest....
Unknown User
Isn't it just a personal choice? Everyone is capable of crossing the 'divide'! If you want to go to chatroom socials but mostly a forum user then you need to get to know people in the chatroom and visa versa! If you're shy of events where you don't know anyone then that's something you have to conquer yourself surely? Stop procrastinating by just saying everyone is probably horrible and GO! Perhaps take along a fellow member you do know?
In any social group or club there will always be cliques it's human nature! Get over it!
How many people do you actually want to meet Darkfire? Every single member? I'm a little confused by your comments, do you feel left out of events because they don't know you? Yet you specify for your own munch it's regulars and known people only.
(though I do accept it's your birthday so I agree in this respect!)
And as for whispering etc... JUST IGNORE IT!! It's not an attack, it's not important... don't even glance at them!
Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by Dollyminx
How many people do you actually want to meet Darkfire? Every single member? I'm a little confused by your comments, do you feel left out of events because they don't know you?

Loads and loads and loads lol - but its how I meet those people that makes all the difference, personally speaking.
But I dont feel 'left out' - its my own choice that I dont attend something where i dont recognise names or am not already familiar from the site with people going dunno
with regard to mine, it has nothing to do with this thread so any comments specific to my munch to my pm box please as I'm a bit fed up of having to justify my guestlist on the forum.
naughtynymphos1
Sex God
I think your right Darkfire, i have been to a few chat room socials and most don't even adversise them on the forum because they don't want others than their regular room users knowing about it, i have also found it quite amazing how many people who have attended the chat room socials who didn't even realise there was a forum or what it was :shock:
candj12
Sexpert
Quote by earthchild
I agree RWL, and getting out of our comfort zone is a good thing and meeting new people
I walked into a room of about 30 people on saturday only knowing 2 of them that were there and had a fantastic time and met some great people
Earthy xx

yeah and it was great to meet you aswell earthy
xxx
:beer:
Unknown User
My apologies Darkfire, been kinda busy and not on the forum much lately so I didn't mean to bring it up as a justification, only in general context to the thread.
Oops... back to work!
Unknown User
Quote by Darkfire
So do you see chatroom people as a 'risk'?

i see walking into any group of people I dont know / have never heard of as something I seriously have to consider first, in the same way I wont go to a club alone. I dont think its that I see 'chatroom people' as a 'risk', I see anyone who looks on women as a piece of meat as a risk.
Personally I feel more (shall we say) uncomfortable with a bunch of drunks who THINK they know me (even though we have never met before) and therefore THINK it is acceptable to be over familiar.
Unknown User
I guess the same could be said for the girly night in I organised last month. I didn't Post it in the forums, I pm'd some of the girls from the Cafe that I know and thought might enjoy it.
Was I being too choosy? No, I don't think so.
Was I excluding anyone for any particular reason? Yes, of course I was.
As I was having a sleep over in my own home, I only wanted people I knew there and available space dictated how many I could invite.
I was only comfortable with people I know so I guess some chatroom socials are organised with that in mind.
That said, it's good to see the variety of socials/meets/munches and the like being posted in the open forums for all to attend if they wish.
naughtynymphos1
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
Personally I feel more (shall we say) uncomfortable with a bunch of drunks who THINK they know me (even though we have never met before) and therefore THINK it is acceptable to be over familiar.

i must admit is does feel kinda wierd when you go to a munch and people come over to you and start talking to you like thier your best m8 and your stood there thinking "who the hell are you" :shock:
Unknown User
Quote by Medic_1
Note to all the Newbies/chatters:- If you get a refusal it is because you are not known and not because you are not wanted. I am sure the organiser of the social will explain the reason why by PM.
Enough from me .
Phredd

Unfortunately Phredd - that is not quite the case. If you really want me to I will go and get the quote from another thread. The thread where a munch organiser explains how he checks out people unknown to him and unless someone is prepared to not only say they know this person - but take full responsibility for their behaviour - then they won't make the invite list. (Oh did I mention that this appears to only apply to chatroom users though? Forumites who have been a round for a month or so and made a few posts do not have the same hoop-jumping process to follow)
And they wonder why there is a divide rolleyes