I think there will always be enough "friends/room people" and also "friends/forum people" to keep all the smaller socials well attended as well as the bigger "munches."
If there is a real or percieved difference between chat and forums meets its the rules are more relaxed for the rooms.... people obviously have to be in them but attendance seems more based on "acceptance" which can be quicker than via the forums so more "socials" if a term is required, without the full 40 pages indexed and cross referenced rule book that munches have seemed to aquired more reciently.
"Munches" in the original, BDSM, terms were social meets where anyone could attend and were openly posted with both venue and and dates so anyone could attend (much like the chat rooms and forums) so new people could socialise without the "OMFG" issues that come with jumping in at the deep end with clubs and/or meets.
Pwersonally I dont have any preference to which type I attend, but I do think we need more "just come and chat as you would in here... but face to face" meets that are all inclusive no matter how much experience or new people are (if people are worried about them being inundated with single guys, by going on experience.... 90% of the newish single guys that say they want to come dont even attend, lol)
There are the big events, originally munches exclusively but some of the chatroom socials are also becoming quite large in their own rights. I think theres more than enough people to go around all the events even if its only 5-10 people at the smaller socials as this allows far more interaction and socialising than some of the larger meets where people naturally gavitate to people they already know in sub groups as it feels more "safe" or "comfortable" to people like myself who are naturally shy.
I dont do a lot of munches or room meets... so cant really coment on politics or "rules" but I do think there should be more crossover so some meets can be called "munches" which dont require forum partisipation where people are also known from the rooms and/or can be vouched for...
I think the problem may be the rules force people into "room meets" and "munches" and "socials" instead of being all inclusive of people on this site!
Just my 2p worth... add compound interest means someone owes me ;-)
Jon Xx
I don't think they're necessarily getting out of hand.
I can understand if people use a particular chatroom because they have and specific interest or only interested in meeting people in their area. If they are looking to meet potential playmates, it's understandable.
I am a little sad that they feel "scared" about attending a munch
Who ever is 'scared' of attending a munch.
Please, please, please pm me, there is nothing to be scared of.
I recently attended a social bbq that was predominantly chat room people, the social was advertised on LMU and was open to anyone forum and chat room, just cos its someone from the chat room arranging the social doesnt mean forumites arent welcome and vise versa its not like the social is being arranged in the chat room so no one from the forum will find out.
I admit i use both and see quite a few from the local chat room i use posting on the forums, a lot of people in the chat room dont event know what a munch is or that the LMU forum exists, i know this from conversations i have had with people.
If there is someone new around i think its our job as regulars to nurture and help all we can and get them involved in whatever aspect of the scene and site they are interested in, its very daunting at first, i remember how i felt.
Its inevitible that people who are chatting together are going to want to meet each other especially in their own areas. There is very little arranged in my neck of the woods and i would like to see more but it wont stop me travelling to the other events that i want to go to.
Earthy xx
I dont think there is a snobbery as such attached to the forums, lots of forum users also use the chat rooms. and its bound to be the same people posting on the forum threads cos they are the ones that use the forums.
As for cliques, yes the site has its little cliques and as you say is human nature, but if you perservere and make the effort to be involved you will be accepted, not that i am saying you need to be part of a clique, all i mean is that cliques are only that until you are part of it,.
oh that sounds bollox but i cant be arsed to change it now lol
Earthy xx
You cannot force people to be part of a community if they do not identify with that community.
Within society it is the norm to find multiple communities within what is considered an overall community.
But enough of communities.
I am not surprised some people are scared of munches – read the hype. Read the ‘pre’ and ‘post’ munch news! It does not sound like a friendly no pressure environment where people can have a natter and put names to faces – sometimes it sounds like an out and out orgy (sadly over exaggerated) or a reunion of old shagging buddies. Aside from that if your name isn’t down months in advance it may well not get on the list at all.
SOME of the chatroom socials are more in keeping with the original principles of a ‘munch’ than the actual munches are – I am not surprised people what to go to those with the very people they chat to each day, rather than something they have read about in here.
I won’t get into the terminology problem – but with that aside… the regular rooms with regular users seem to be successful at arranging a friendly get together - so what?
They keep it simple and easy – that is why it is so successful.
If you are worried about chatters not coming over to the forum and there being a divide – how often do you try going over and integrating with them? And I don’t mean in a locked room where you have to have been on the forum to get the password?
Some of you may find it scary yourselves – realising the forum is not the centre of the swinging heaven universe in terms of people getting together. But this is just one tiny community within a much larger community.
It once was a big thing to become a ‘regular’ on the forum and truly accepted into the fold (see the repeated advice about getting known and going to munches) there was almost a feeling of ‘status’ (you see better examples of that in another place) - but the actual truth of the matter is – it is not such a big deal. There are people getting on with what they came here for and successfully socialising with their new found friends who are blissfully unaware that the forum even exists.
Good luck to ‘um!
As long as they use the correct terminology.
Darkfire,
you mention that if you went to a munch where there was a lot of names you didnt know, from the chatrooms, it would be like walking into the lions den, with all the directors and suchlike, as much as we berate the way in which they are towards women in the room, would they honestly be that way without the safety of the keyboard and screen to separate them?
Fabio,
agreed, more has to be done to integrate the site, to make people more comfortable in all areas, im not smart enough to know how to go about it, but those of us who are comfortable, its surely down to us to make it happen (and yes, i will freely admit to being the piss taking bastard on the forums, and am going to have to make a conscious effort to not show that side of me to overtly to anyone who is new here)
there I go rambling again!
- MY personal 'issue' is that when i see a guestlist which is 90% full of names I've never heard of (people i know nothing about) it instantly puts me off. I like to know who's going, who I might be interested in chatting to etc, and who's organising. So I always end up going to 'forum organised events' . I very much like to meet new people, but I aint walking into the lion's den - especially when I do see the chatroom mentality similar to how DeeCee described above ( and obviously, some chatroom people feel exactly the same about 'forum organised events' ). We spend considerable time berating the directors, wanking on cam, the general 'get yer tits out' atmosphere - am I wrong to think I kinda dont want to be in that atmosphere face to face? :dunno:
And, vice-versa for those from the forums attending chat socials.. 
I drew on a five o'clock shadow and everything, hoping you would pop in!