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Cheating and genuine???

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<<<<< available to cheat with, ...try before you buy...etc
...and still respect myself in the morning
sigh....im so so easy
My personal feelings - well I don't believe people are being deliberately horrid to their spouse, I don't believe that they are on this site purely as a vengence thing against their husband/wife.
I believe that these people are looking for sex, for whatever reason, and looking for in on the basis of "I won't get caught", what he/she doesn't know won't hurt. Pretty dangerous reasoning, but a lot of people do get away with it.
We all do it in everyday life - Blimey, I've been known to speed if running late for something redface I didn't do it because I'm horrid, because I wanted to make sure that if anyone stepped in the road I injured/killed em!!! I done it on the presumption that noone will step in front of me, that I will get away with it.
I've been known to park the car on double yellows for a minute while I pick up someone (not like that!!! rolleyes ). I didn't park there because I am a horrid person and want vengence on anyone that crosses the road, deliberately obstructing their view so they will get run over. I done it on the presumption that I will get away with it, that noone will get hurt.
All pretty dangerous presumptions.
OK wandering right off the point here :roll: I just don't like to see a thread where the married guy is getting a slating from everyone, for others on the sidelines reading it - its just encouragement for them to keep schtum and not admit it.
These people that admit to being married are giving you the facts, they are allowing you to make the decision as to whether you play or not before the event!
Yeh I too would say it's cheating - I do have my own thoughts on that. I don't think people should be treated like complete outcasts or horrid people because of something they have said about themselves .......... they are giving you the option, take it or leave it, there's no need to leap on them for a decision they have made for their own reasons.
By 'eck, we're roasting some old chestnuts again.
From my limited experience of swinging. I have found the 'cheaters', usually fairly good at swinging, before, during and when throwing out time comes. They have a good deal more experience in managing certain aspects of human behaviour.
Swinging is about managing your mind as much as your body. If it led to love, we would dump our current partners for someone else.
Why is it that the people thzat tell us, on so many issues that we not judge, must not make stereotypical judgements, blah blah balh, appear to be the very ones who do so when it comes to marriage?
Marriages come in all different varriations, particualrly nowadays, so why dont we let people work out their own rules that suite them and not others? Surrely part of being single is being open minded and not pre judging everyone?
The bottom (no pun) is, monogomy is not a natural state. Our society does not offer a state recognised and legitimised alternative to marrige, hence those that are not suited to it are pressurised into a condition that does not suit them, hence they are often forced to "cheat"
But if we are to make sweeping (elongated) judgements about marriages where one partner is "cheating" let us remember that as in other areas of like, fault can rarely be whattributed to one party, most times the "victim " has played some part in their problems.
And before anyone tells me i dont know what im talking about as ive never been cheated on, i have, though i was only 16 at the time and i learnt from the experience
As usual the same old crap pick a bit add a pointless comment
Judy Says “you can talk to strangers but not wife” I say I did but made depression worse.
Freckledbird says your to blame she is depressed you talked to her about your needs missing the bit where it says mine & her needs
So what is a person supposed to do???
And when and if I do Cheat I will wear my label with Pride knowing i'm not full of Sanctimonious bull shit
Not jumping on the bandwagon of righteousness here but .............
What has happened with your wife in terms of seeking support and treatment? Assumedly she's on anti-depressants? Many of these do have side effects that affect the sex drive ~ has she explained this to her doc? asked for a different tablet? seen a counsellor?
There are herbal remedies that can encourage the return of a sex drive, seeing a Herbalist or homeopath might help.
If you are wanting a full sex life then you do need to talk to her, explain your needs and even if it brings tears get her to seek help. A person losing their sex drive needs to be nurtured until it returns.
Cx
If you truly don't want to risk your relationship, then Calista's advice is spot on:
If you are wanting a full sex life then you do need to talk to her, explain your needs and even if it brings tears get her to seek help. A person losing their sex drive needs to be nurtured until it returns.

Can't be easy for either of you - good luck xx
Thank you Calista & Bevntony over the past 7 years we have been thru a lot of treatments etc and I say we as it is our problem.
But the point was that some in here vilify others on a regular basis for being at a different point in there life than them.
Oh yes at the moment they are being there version of honest ,but are not honest enough to admit to get to this point that they to had doubts, not tell the whole truth, explored other things in secret. They have a habit of using a version of love or relationship that suits them as the yard stick to beat us with. I suppose they have there excuses for this "sorry for them it's reasons" for the rest of us it's excuses.
To over simplify if you wear you partners underwear for a couple of weeks without telling them first its less than honest, then you tell them does this make you an honest person?
This is not an excuse for considering it is a Reason
Because I love my wife is a Reason why I consider this
And as to justify there is not a person living or dead that I have to justify myself to just my conscience
And so calista & bevntony it's back to soul searching for me your kind words are appreciated smile
this subject is like a hornets nest
yes the silly sod asked for everyones thoughts on haveing sex with someone with out his wifes knowlage
and he should expect the words written here
and some of the advice is brilliant
were i think the line gets crossed is when advice turn to personal insults and assumptions on that persons life
even though the regulars personally know a lot of the members on here
you dont know every one
and i think a lot of people on here have been cheated on and hurt badly
the pain flows with the words they write
if you do not want to sleep with a married person..... .good for you
morals are a wonderfull thing
some people think married partners swinging
or dogging is bad
i really dont care what anyone is doing either married or single
its their life
not mine
if they get hurt its their fault ................if they ruin their marriage then they have to deal with it
if they can cheat ......go home live with what theyve done and be happy and remain married
good
for them
Honest and genuine is meant in the ads as I read it, as it sounds; honest and genuine regarding swinging. The only problem I have is when someone isn't honest about their circumstances - at least you have an option if they are straight up. If you don't like it stay away, and if you aren't bothered about them being married/in a relationship and they are cheating then go right ahead.
My personal view would be on a different thread. It's a definate sensitive subject and stirred up lots of emotions eh? Lots of people bring lots of different things to this forum and that's what gives it its' edge. You get liars everywhere in life - s'up to you to weed em out and make your choices.
Cathy x
(Single - honest!)
ive actually been in a situation of dating a married guy ( feel free to jump on me) yea i kinda feel bad about it now, but he was totally upfront and honest from day one and depsite the fact he was married he was a genuine guy and a really nice one at that. i wouldnt touch a married man or woman with a barge pole now, because the last thing id want is wifey or hubby comming banging on my front door.
i could say alot about the singles that arnt genuine and come full of lies and deceit. just been in one perticular situation where i thought were very genuine and was totally messed with. im slightly bruised from the whole thing and i feel like a bloody idiot. but thats another story which im not going to go into as im above all that.
theres many reasons why people feel the need to (cheat) some are selfish reasons and some are very deep and painfull reasons. its not my problem people move in strange ways, who am i to judge anyone in what they do. as long as im left out it of it. cheat dont cheat its their lives, and theres deal with when karma kicks in .
x rache the innocent x
Quote by Red(RHG)
Honest and genuine is meant in the ads as I read it, as it sounds; honest and genuine regarding swinging. The only problem I have is when someone isn't honest about their circumstances - at least you have an option if they are straight up. If you don't like it stay away, and if you aren't bothered about them being married/in a relationship and they are cheating then go right ahead.
My personal view would be on a different thread. It's a definate sensitive subject and stirred up lots of emotions eh? Lots of people bring lots of different things to this forum and that's what gives it its' edge. You get liars everywhere in life - s'up to you to weed em out and make your choices.
Cathy x
(Single - honest!)

I agree cathy....
honest doesn't always equate to faithful.
my situation is that i love my girlfriend dearly but she can't keep up with me so occassionally i am a bit naughty. i wouldn't leave her to go find a nympho (don't think she would keep up either) so i choose to get an occassional kick from alternative sources - which is normally my hand to be honest BUT i can be tempted by the right kinda person.
I am always honest with every girl i meet either through work or out and about so then its up to them if they want to play games.
it takes 2 to tango as they say smile
JJ
Judy you always qoute love
My mums view of love is to give her self completly to one person both emotionally and physically. but you can love again after the end of a relationship.
My Grans view was that love was to give her self Physically & emotionally to just one person in life and 30 years after his death remained faithfull to that vow
My view of love is variable I loved my first wife in a different way to my current wife
I was divorced for two years prior to meeting my second wife just for the record
Her infidelity but I played my part no victims just life
So what makes your view of love right and theres or mine wrong
I was going to say at least your relationship its one of truth, but my mum would say that cant be love so are you beeing honest with yourself. BUT its not for me to judge and label you by some one elses standards is it now.
Quote by please_let_me_taste
Honest and genuine is meant in the ads as I read it, as it sounds; honest and genuine regarding swinging. The only problem I have is when someone isn't honest about their circumstances - at least you have an option if they are straight up. If you don't like it stay away, and if you aren't bothered about them being married/in a relationship and they are cheating then go right ahead.
My personal view would be on a different thread. It's a definate sensitive subject and stirred up lots of emotions eh? Lots of people bring lots of different things to this forum and that's what gives it its' edge. You get liars everywhere in life - s'up to you to weed em out and make your choices.
Cathy x
(Single - honest!)

I agree cathy....
honest doesn't always equate to faithful.
my situation is that i love my girlfriend dearly but she can't keep up with me so occassionally i am a bit naughty. i wouldn't leave her to go find a nympho (don't think she would keep up either) so i choose to get an occassional kick from alternative sources - which is normally my hand to be honest BUT i can be tempted by the right kinda person.
I am always honest with every girl i meet either through work or out and about so then its up to them if they want to play games.
it takes 2 to tango as they say smile
JJ
Note it's my opinion of the thread and not my opinion of people's situations.
Getting a proper crack up me arse sitting on this fence here!
Cathy x
Cathy you are what its about you take each individual as they come and form you own opinion you choose who you want to chat without the need for labels
Just a thought my border collie is the most faithfull of my 3 dogs but it would shag anything that comes across his path is he unfaithfull ??? rolleyes dunno :doh:
Quote by jellybelly
Just a thought my border collie is the most faithfull of my 3 dogs but it would shag anything that comes across his path is he unfaithfull ??? rolleyes dunno :doh:

your a glutton for punishment
:twisted:
Yes Red sorry It seems I am
Just cant help myself confused
Just a thought, why is it that the people that seem to have the most to say about marial morals are those that are apparently unmarried, either never been so or failled at it?
Ah right so we arnt aloowed personal observations now?
If so then perhpas we shouldnt be allowed subjetless sentences, eg I expect it was rhetorical anyway I pressume you mean that the question is rhetorical
And by the way its going to piss down or perhaps it always shines on the rightious?
Hey foxy its not just me then!!
Judy I may have misquoted you once but you mention love a lot in your replies So to say you quote love a lot is a fact not a misquote.
I always wondered why the old pros here put the quotes from you in boxes now I know its evidence, so my advice do likewise then they cant edit out bits later!
anyway I have noticed some people have mentioned religion on another post. So i'm off to brand them Heretics and cheats
Silly me thats somebody else's job redface
I'm married, never even attempted to deny it. But my other half knows I'm here that is for sure. In fact she took the pic of me bum I used to use as my avatar. she went off sex after our fifth child, and to think that I went to the discomfort of a versactomy! :shock:
I think trying to fuck about behind your partners back is a risky business. It could leave you open to blackmail and alsorts. And if one was too discrete, then one could disapear! Its too risky!
Quote by BrightonGeezer
I'm married, never even attempted to deny it. But my other half knows I'm here that is for sure. In fact she took the pic of me bum I used to use as my avatar. she went off sex after our fifth child, and to think that I went to the discomfort of a versactomy! :shock:
I think trying to fuck about behind your partners back is a risky business. It could leave you open to blackmail and alsorts. And if one was too discrete, then one could disapear! Its too risky!

looking at your avatar, i dont think you could disapear.(lol dont take offence i dodnt mean it nastily)
I suppose in some instances, there may be the risk of blackmail etc but isnt that up to the individuals involved and no one else?
Quote by foxylady 123
I'm married, never even attempted to deny it. But my other half knows I'm here that is for sure. In fact she took the pic of me bum I used to use as my avatar. she went off sex after our fifth child, and to think that I went to the discomfort of a versactomy! :shock:
I think trying to fuck about behind your partners back is a risky business. It could leave you open to blackmail and alsorts. And if one was too discrete, then one could disapear! Its too risky!

looking at your avatar, i dont think you could disapear.(lol dont take offence i dodnt mean it nastily)
I suppose in some instances, there may be the risk of blackmail etc but isnt that up to the individuals involved and no one else?
Yeah I know I'm a big old beast lol! And I am not offended.
The point I was trying to make was about secrets. If you have no secrets then you cannot be blackmailed. Maybe I'm reading too many thrillers?
Quote by BrightonGeezer
I'm married, never even attempted to deny it. But my other half knows I'm here that is for sure. In fact she took the pic of me bum I used to use as my avatar. she went off sex after our fifth child, and to think that I went to the discomfort of a versactomy! :shock:
I think trying to fuck about behind your partners back is a risky business. It could leave you open to blackmail and alsorts. And if one was too discrete, then one could disapear! Its too risky!

looking at your avatar, i dont think you could disapear.(lol dont take offence i dodnt mean it nastily)
I suppose in some instances, there may be the risk of blackmail etc but isnt that up to the individuals involved and no one else?
Yeah I know I'm a big old beast lol! And I am not offended.
The point I was trying to make was about secrets. If you have no secrets then you cannot be blackmailed. Maybe I'm reading too many thrillers?
Tbh i rather think you are reading too many thrillers though of course this would depend upon your job and position in society. But im glad to say most people nowadasy dont really car if your screwing around!!