I suppose by this I am just floating a thought .. but wanted to share it with everyone and get some responses.
I regularly look through the photoads - not just the ones that I'm interested in, but some of the others as well. It fascinates me to see who is out there!
Something that intrigues me though are those people who are looking for "discreet" encounters behind a wife's or husband's back - but will then go on to describe themselves as "genuine".
To go behind someone's back is in itself somewhat dishonest, so how can you then go on to describe yourself as "genuine" or "reliable"?
Many of these people who post such ads are themselves, and remarkably, looking for discretion and trust!
Thoughts?
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Cheating and genuine???
Sex God
Use "cheat" as the search term and you get shed loads of hits
Quote by UKman37
I suppose by this I am just floating a thought .. but wanted to share it with everyone and get some responses.
I regularly look through the photoads - not just the ones that I'm interested in, but some of the others as well. It fascinates me to see who is out there!
Something that intrigues me though are those people who are looking for "discreet" encounters behind a wife's or husband's back - but will then go on to describe themselves as "genuine".
To go behind someone's back is in itself somewhat dishonest, so how can you then go on to describe yourself as "genuine" or "reliable"?
Many of these people who post such ads are themselves, and remarkably, looking for discretion and trust!
Thoughts?
Yeah the 'genuine' married person...................
Cathy x
(Looked way too flippant that comment and not cynical enough :twisted: )
UKman37 I came into the cafe with those same steel-toed boots mate. 
Have a look at this
Have a look at this Thanks Libra-Love 
It was very interesting reading some of the comments .. including yours ...
Just wondering if your opinions have changed at all?
It was very interesting reading some of the comments .. including yours ...
Just wanted to say a big thank you to all you married folk for your intellectual justifications and imput on cheating...oh sorry, swinging.... Now I remember why it is I choose to remain independent and single.
Just wondering if your opinions have changed at all?
I agree with the above that doing it behind your partners back makes you a cheat. I always took genuine to mean something different.
-----------------------------------
gen·u·ine
adj.
Actually possessing the alleged or apparent attribute or character: genuine leather.
Not spurious or counterfeit; authentic. See Synonyms at authentic.
Honestly felt or experienced: genuine devotion.
Actual; real: a genuine dilemma.
Free from hypocrisy or dishonesty; sincere.
Being of pure or original stock: a genuine Hawaiian
------------------------------------
If semone posted the were genuine but married in an ad, I would understand that as they would not be a timewaster as they are genuine.
It's when people start talking about discretion essential. That means to me that they are hiding something from someone.
-----------------------------------
gen·u·ine
adj.
Actually possessing the alleged or apparent attribute or character: genuine leather.
Not spurious or counterfeit; authentic. See Synonyms at authentic.
Honestly felt or experienced: genuine devotion.
Actual; real: a genuine dilemma.
Free from hypocrisy or dishonesty; sincere.
Being of pure or original stock: a genuine Hawaiian
------------------------------------
If semone posted the were genuine but married in an ad, I would understand that as they would not be a timewaster as they are genuine.
It's when people start talking about discretion essential. That means to me that they are hiding something from someone.
Sex God
anyone who without their partners knowledge and/or consent swings with, meets up with or makes any other plans with someone else is a cheat.
does not matter what the reasons are, how they have justified it to themselves or anyone else.. they have gone against either marriage vows or promises and commitment.
there are cheats.. end of.
i dont think this is anything to do with them being genuine though, they could GENUINELY like the idea of swinging, they could GENUINELY want to have free sex.
does them being a cheater make them less or more of a genuine swinger than someone who may be single but not in it for the right reasons???
though i admit that someone being a cheat may have an effect on how genuine they are in some cases.. i do not think that the two are automatically linked.
does not matter what the reasons are, how they have justified it to themselves or anyone else.. they have gone against either marriage vows or promises and commitment.
there are cheats.. end of.
i dont think this is anything to do with them being genuine though, they could GENUINELY like the idea of swinging, they could GENUINELY want to have free sex.
does them being a cheater make them less or more of a genuine swinger than someone who may be single but not in it for the right reasons???
though i admit that someone being a cheat may have an effect on how genuine they are in some cases.. i do not think that the two are automatically linked.
As usual people pointing fingers and saying a married man is wrong for not being open with his wife. And in most cases I agree with you.
But how many of you were married in church? Or are just married? The commitment of marriage is a monogamous one (except for certain religions) does this make you Hypocrites?
How many are open about your lifestyle with all of your family and friends? Does this make you deceitful?
As a married man who is considered abhorrent by some of the less than open minded swinging community!!!! Let me give you a different perspective.
My wife started the menopause 7 years ago in her early 40’s and has lost her sex drive completely 3 years ago. This with the depression and low self worth makes for lots of complications. But I love her more than anything but I am only human and can only survive on masturbation for so long.
Choices
Prostitutes With all the risk of STI/STD etc no thank you
Affair. Which can only result is the end of my marriage no TY
One night stands constant lying and deceit STI/STD etc no TY
Ask my wife (and she would say yes) if I can have extra marital sex . Send her into a deep depression and make her feel totally useless probably end our marriage no TY
Swinging occasional meets with open minded people no risk of emotional attachment reduced risk of STI/STD lying and deceit couple of times a year you can see the attraction.
This is my second marriage and my first wife and I used to swing so I am not one of those that believe its alright for me to sleep with your partner but mines sacred and no one else can touch.
So we can be Honest and Genuine people if not misunderstood .
But how many of you were married in church? Or are just married? The commitment of marriage is a monogamous one (except for certain religions) does this make you Hypocrites?
How many are open about your lifestyle with all of your family and friends? Does this make you deceitful?
As a married man who is considered abhorrent by some of the less than open minded swinging community!!!! Let me give you a different perspective.
My wife started the menopause 7 years ago in her early 40’s and has lost her sex drive completely 3 years ago. This with the depression and low self worth makes for lots of complications. But I love her more than anything but I am only human and can only survive on masturbation for so long.
Choices
Prostitutes With all the risk of STI/STD etc no thank you
Affair. Which can only result is the end of my marriage no TY
One night stands constant lying and deceit STI/STD etc no TY
Ask my wife (and she would say yes) if I can have extra marital sex . Send her into a deep depression and make her feel totally useless probably end our marriage no TY
Swinging occasional meets with open minded people no risk of emotional attachment reduced risk of STI/STD lying and deceit couple of times a year you can see the attraction.
This is my second marriage and my first wife and I used to swing so I am not one of those that believe its alright for me to sleep with your partner but mines sacred and no one else can touch.
So we can be Honest and Genuine people if not misunderstood .
Quote by jellybelly
But how many of you were married in church? Or are just married? The commitment of marriage is a monogamous one (except for certain religions) does this make you Hypocrites?
OK I'll give you that one
Quote by jellybelly
How many are open about your lifestyle with all of your family and friends? Does this make you deceitful?
I don't tell my family I'm a swinger but then I don't tell my parents I've just had sex with Ian either
However, the majority of our friends do know we are members of a swinging site
Quote by jellybelly
As a married man who is considered abhorrent by some of the less than open minded swinging community!!!! Let me give you a different perspective.
My wife started the menopause 7 years ago in her early 40’s and has lost her sex drive completely 3 years ago. This with the depression and low self worth makes for lots of complications. But I love her more than anything but I am only human and can only survive on masturbation for so long.
Choices
Prostitutes With all the risk of STI/STD etc no thank you
Affair. Which can only result is the end of my marriage no TY
One night stands constant lying and deceit STI/STD etc no TY
Ask my wife (and she would say yes) if I can have extra marital sex . Send her into a deep depression and make her feel totally useless probably end our marriage no TY
Swinging occasional meets with open minded people no risk of emotional attachment reduced risk of STI/STD lying and deceit couple of times a year you can see the attraction.
A cheat is a cheat, in my book, there are no excuses. If that makes me opinionated or anything else then I don't care. I have heard too many sad stories to do with the after effects of genuine marriedswingers and they have only confirmed how I feel on this subject
Quote by jellybelly
So we can be Honest and Genuine people if not misunderstood .
You are honest with a bunch of people on a swingers site that mean nothing to you and yet not honest with the wife you love :roll:
have you thought that they probably mean genuine in the respect of that they are not time wasters? and they genuinely want to find someone.
Although i do agree with you.........personally (and dont all jump down my neck at once) i think that the reason to swing is to stop straying,im loyal to my partner,and only experiment sexually whilst we are together,if he was to do it behind my back then it would be because im selfish but because the trust has been broken somwhat.
I think before u start swinging u have to make perfectly clear your boundaries.
But hey thats just me lol :cheers:
Although i do agree with you.........personally (and dont all jump down my neck at once) i think that the reason to swing is to stop straying,im loyal to my partner,and only experiment sexually whilst we are together,if he was to do it behind my back then it would be because im selfish but because the trust has been broken somwhat.
I think before u start swinging u have to make perfectly clear your boundaries.
But hey thats just me lol :cheers:
Quote by jellybelly
How many are open about your lifestyle with all of your family and friends? Does this make you deceitful?
I don't tell my family I'm a swinger but then I don't tell my parents I've just had sex with Ian either
However, the majority of our friends do know we are members of a swinging site
:dunno: But every body states that swinging is a lifestyle choice so why so secretive. nobody expects anybody to declare when and who they have had sex with but this is about lifestyle and honesty!!!!
Quote by jellybelly
So we can be Honest and Genuine people if not misunderstood .
You are honest with a bunch of people on a swingers site that mean nothing to you and yet not honest with the wife you love :roll:
I have discussed this with my wife my needs her needs etc and she said she would understand if I where to seek sex elswhere. But this did not stop her going to a deep depression. Lifes not black and white though.
:dunno: Why do we find it ok to cheat at every thing else in life expenses CV etc but fiddelity is a big no no once you cheat at anything you are after all a cheat.
But at the end of the day we all chose who we are going to upfront and honest with and those we aren't for whatever reason we feel is right but it doesn't make us a lesser person than any body alse
He stones and all that. I do notice however in other threads its all about not putting labels on others due to preference Bi Hetro etc etc etc :roll:
Sex God
I notice that in Dogging section there is a woman who has made pretty much a similar post to this one - asking for discretionary meets. She is willing to enter into an illicit affair if she can't find some doggers to satisfy her sexual desires etc etc.
Strangely, she has not had the sort of reply that is on this thread. One or two people have advised her on potential problems within her marriage if her husband found out etc, but there is a distinct lack of replies from the moral soapbox crowd who seem to frequent such posts from married males
Time and again these posts raise their heads only to turn ugly with all and sundry taking it upon themselves to preach morals to the masses
I'm sure if these people want sermons, they are quite capable of going to Church on Sundays and listening to their local Vicar preaching them . . . after all, it's his job to do it and he gets paid for it to, so perhaps we should leave it to the professionals eh guys and gals? :roll:
Tracy-Jayne
Strangely, she has not had the sort of reply that is on this thread. One or two people have advised her on potential problems within her marriage if her husband found out etc, but there is a distinct lack of replies from the moral soapbox crowd who seem to frequent such posts from married males
Time and again these posts raise their heads only to turn ugly with all and sundry taking it upon themselves to preach morals to the masses
I'm sure if these people want sermons, they are quite capable of going to Church on Sundays and listening to their local Vicar preaching them . . . after all, it's his job to do it and he gets paid for it to, so perhaps we should leave it to the professionals eh guys and gals? :roll:
Tracy-Jayne
Quote by RedHot
Time and again these posts raise their heads only to turn ugly with all and sundry taking it upon themselves to preach morals to the masses
I'm sure if these people want sermons, they are quite capable of going to Church on Sundays and listening to their local Vicar preaching them . . . after all, it's his job to do it and he gets paid for it to, so perhaps we should leave it to the professionals eh guys and gals?
Quote by UKman37
Thoughts?
He asked for peoples thoughts, I don't see a problem in any of these posts
Sex God
Quote by jellybelly
How many are open about your lifestyle with all of your family and friends? Does this make you deceitful?
I don't tell my family I'm a swinger but then I don't tell my parents I've just had sex with Ian either
However, the majority of our friends do know we are members of a swinging site
:dunno: But every body states that swinging is a lifestyle choice so why so secretive. nobody expects anybody to declare when and who they have had sex with but this is about lifestyle and honesty!!!! We aren't secretive, as Dawn said, most of us probably don't discuss our sex lives with our partners, whilst in our parents' company.
Quote by jellybelly
So we can be Honest and Genuine people if not misunderstood .
You are honest with a bunch of people on a swingers site that mean nothing to you and yet not honest with the wife you love :roll: absolutely agree with Dawn on this one
I have discussed this with my wife my needs her needs etc and she said she would understand if I where to seek sex elswhere. But this did not stop her going to a deep depression. Lifes not black and white though. A thought - maybe your discussions about YOUR needs may have helped her into the deep depression?
:dunno: Why do we find it ok to cheat at every thing else in life expenses CV etc but fiddelity is a big no no once you cheat at anything you are after all a cheat. Hardly a fair comparison
But at the end of the day we all chose who we are going to upfront and honest with and those we aren't for whatever reason we feel is right but it doesn't make us a lesser person than any body alse Maybe the 'vicitms' of cheats would take a different viewpoint on that
He stones and all that. I do notice however in other threads its all about not putting labels on others due to preference Bi Hetro etc etc etc :roll:
If the cap fits and all that
