Quote by McGuinness
Like i stated i am pay as you go on a day to day basis, if i was not productive one day i would not be asked back the next. So far each day i am asked back
That merely means your productivity is satisfactory, not optimal.
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My partners ex was a cunt who thinks life owes him a living, including contributing to his kids upkeep.
With my encouragement she started to chase him. as far as i know she had not pushed the issue for fear of reprisals from her ex. At the very least she had not pushed the issue hard. With me on her back she persisted in her pursuit of him, contacted the CSA regularly, complained against their inefficiency, hounded them, kept going until she got results.
In the end we got him
Persistency shone through maybe some of you should persist rather than giving up. It seems you would rather us single tax payers subsidise you rather than the sperm donors!!!
This year he will be contributing to his kids holidays via his CSA payments, rather than me contributing as i did last year.
With my encouragement she started to chase him. as far as i know she had not pushed the issue for fear of reprisals from her ex. At the very least she had not pushed the issue hard. With me on her back she persisted in her pursuit of him, contacted the CSA regularly, complained against their inefficiency, hounded them, kept going until she got results.
In the end we got him
Persistency shone through maybe some of you should persist rather than giving up. It seems you would rather us single tax payers subsidise you rather than the sperm donors!!!
This year he will be contributing to his kids holidays via his CSA payments, rather than me contributing as i did last year.
Quote by lubeynmark
you can chase the CSA as much as you like and nothing will happen!!! pmsl you are soooo naive. if you want to have a go at someone have a go at father who pay nothing and do all they can to avoid paying even a penny
Not naive, like i say i encouraged my partner to chase him and persistency won through. these men have to learn their input does not stop at the point of conception. yes it is probably killing him financially, so what he should have thought of that when he chose not to use a condom
Quote by lubeynmarkThis is SO true!!!!
you can chase the CSA as much as you like and nothing will happen!!! pmsl you are soooo naive. if you want to have a go at someone have a go at father who pay nothing and do all they can to avoid paying even a penny
I have JUST emailed the CSA for the 3rd time in 6 weeks. I applied to the CSA on 24th March, 2001 and have written to them 4 times and spoken to various departments at least once a bloody month.
Their response?
* We have no evidence of your claim
* our system is down
* the other party do not wish to proceed (other party? you mean her dad? course he doesnt want to proceed, daft c**t!!!GRRRRRRRRR)
*we are up-dating our system
* the system has changed
* we have never heard of you (again!)
*we'll get back to you ( 8 times, now)
edit - forgot this one - *we can't contact the other party (desoite me giving you his phone number, DOB, NI number and address - i live at no:56, he lives at no:14 - you want me to take you there????)
this is my official rant now - I didn't want a child, never wanted them, I'm not a responsible person. I'm not against abortion but it's not right for ME. My ex knew all this, he also knew I wasn't on the Pill because it was making me ill. He told me he was in remission from testicualr cancer and the treatment had left him infertile and not to mention this to his family because it was far too upsetting for them.
When i discovered I was pregnant he accused me of sleeping around.
Of course I much later found out he'd never had cancer, his last girlfiend had aborted his child and 31, he felt i was his 'last chance'.
Do you really begrudge me £11 a week? my daughter might the surgeon that treats you when you're lying in your private hospital bed with alcohol-related heart disease.
just be grateful I didn't have her put in care - now that really would be strain on your taxes.
I've had enough - I'm flouncing off!
Quote by roger743
Like i stated i am pay as you go on a day to day basis, if i was not productive one day i would not be asked back the next. So far each day i am asked back
That merely means your productivity is satisfactory, not optimal.
:P Thanks Roger more elloquently put than I could articulate
Quote by MaryaThis is SO true!!!!
you can chase the CSA as much as you like and nothing will happen!!! pmsl you are soooo naive. if you want to have a go at someone have a go at father who pay nothing and do all they can to avoid paying even a penny
I have JUST emailed the CSA for the 3rd time in 6 weeks. I applied to the CSA on 24th March, 2001 and have written to them 4 times and spoken to various departments at least once a bloody month.
Their response?
* We have no evidence of your claim
* our system is down
* the other party do not wish to proceed (other party? you mean her dad? course he doesnt want to proceed, daft c**t!!!GRRRRRRRRR)
*we are up-dating our system
* the system has changed
* we have never heard of you (again!)
*we'll get back to you ( 8 times, now)
this is my official rant now - I didn't want a child, never wanted them, I'm not a responsible person. I'm not against abortion but it's not right for ME. My ex knew all this, he also knew I wasn't on the Pill because it was making me ill. He told me he was in remission from testicualr cancer and the treatment had left him infertile and not to mention this to his family because it was far too upsetting for them.
When i discovered I was pregnant he accused me of sleeping around.
Of course I much later found out he'd never had cancer, his last girlfiend had aborted his child and 31, he felt i was his 'last chance'.
Do you really begrudge me £11 a week? my daughter might the surgeon that treats you when you're lying in your private hospital bed with alcohol-related heart disease.
I don't begrudge everyone this money, like i say means tested and situation tested is great. i begrudge people that see having kids as a living, its not!!!!
i begrudge people that give up on the CSA believe me i've witnessed it, it is inefficient it is crap but does that mean you should let it lie? For the CSA daily contact by phone and email works, get the name of a contact, harang them, if they don't respond find out the name of their superior and complain, believe me you will eventually get a result. its fucking hard work i don't deny it but it is worth it. write to your mp or pm they get paid to represent you.
Quote by MaryaThis is SO true!!!!
you can chase the CSA as much as you like and nothing will happen!!! pmsl you are soooo naive. if you want to have a go at someone have a go at father who pay nothing and do all they can to avoid paying even a penny
I have JUST emailed the CSA for the 3rd time in 6 weeks.
6 weeks=42 days
one email a day = 42 emails you can only email the csa 3 times in 6 weeks yet you can post times a day on a swinging site, maybe you need to prioritise your life
wow what a fantastic thread i have been reading the replys with interest.
McGuiness wrote
This year he will be contributing to his kids holidays via his CSA payments, rather than me contributing as i did last year.
Are you not happy in the relationship you are in which involes caring for your partners children, surely it does not matter who the biological father is, if you want to spend your life with there mother then you will also have to spend time with her children.
he also wrote
Maybe people who can't afford to bring up a child unaided should invest in condoms!
So in todays society you have to be means tested before your allowed to have children, what do you suggest applying for a licence? or maybe a prepayment card so you can save up to a certain level of money in order to pay for your child.
There are a few people who have been slating their halfwit ex partners for not contributing to their childs welfare and to some extent i agree with them. however in the first instance you made the choice to sleep with them and in most cases had planned to have a child. I detest fathers that do not pay for there children as i think it is a cowardly thing to do but we must remember there are a vast majority of fathers who do pay for their chldren. Also shouldnt an absent mother have to pay to.
Moving onto benefits i believe it is vital that the government contributes a child benefit though i disagree with it being paid in cash. To ensure it is being used for its intended purpose it should bre provided in food and clothing vouchers
I also believe that people who claim unemployment benefit should be made to do any job after say a 6mth period of looking for themselves. Made be put something back into society such as cleaning the streets or as lollipop people. something constructive. this will then wean out the people who have no intention of finding employment.
hugs
Rudolf
McGuiness wrote
This year he will be contributing to his kids holidays via his CSA payments, rather than me contributing as i did last year.
Are you not happy in the relationship you are in which involes caring for your partners children, surely it does not matter who the biological father is, if you want to spend your life with there mother then you will also have to spend time with her children.
he also wrote
Maybe people who can't afford to bring up a child unaided should invest in condoms!
So in todays society you have to be means tested before your allowed to have children, what do you suggest applying for a licence? or maybe a prepayment card so you can save up to a certain level of money in order to pay for your child.
There are a few people who have been slating their halfwit ex partners for not contributing to their childs welfare and to some extent i agree with them. however in the first instance you made the choice to sleep with them and in most cases had planned to have a child. I detest fathers that do not pay for there children as i think it is a cowardly thing to do but we must remember there are a vast majority of fathers who do pay for their chldren. Also shouldnt an absent mother have to pay to.
Moving onto benefits i believe it is vital that the government contributes a child benefit though i disagree with it being paid in cash. To ensure it is being used for its intended purpose it should bre provided in food and clothing vouchers
I also believe that people who claim unemployment benefit should be made to do any job after say a 6mth period of looking for themselves. Made be put something back into society such as cleaning the streets or as lollipop people. something constructive. this will then wean out the people who have no intention of finding employment.
hugs
Rudolf
:P So let me see if understand you correctly here.....
You've got this wonderful new partner in your life with kids from a previous marriage/relationship, whom you've accepted and taken on as your own. Yet you begrudge them their child benefits?
Are they just as please with their new alcoholic step-dad
:
You've got this wonderful new partner in your life with kids from a previous marriage/relationship, whom you've accepted and taken on as your own. Yet you begrudge them their child benefits?
Are they just as please with their new alcoholic step-dad
: Quote by McGuinnessThis is SO true!!!!
you can chase the CSA as much as you like and nothing will happen!!! pmsl you are soooo naive. if you want to have a go at someone have a go at father who pay nothing and do all they can to avoid paying even a penny
I have JUST emailed the CSA for the 3rd time in 6 weeks.
6 weeks=42 days
one email a day = 42 emails you can only email the csa 3 times in 6 weeks yet you can post times a day on a swinging site, maybe you need to prioritise your life
excuse me, do I tell you how to live your fucking life? do I tell you that you should pay fucking tax 'cos you drink which IS strain on the NHS and society as a whole? Maybe YOU should write to your MP instead of posting your griping comments on here??!?!?!
Asa someone, who is self employed, pays far to much in both NI and Tax and who has not claimed off the state for well over two decades, I would like to point out that abuse of the welfare state is not restricted to one parent families!!
However the one consistant thread that seems to run throughout these postings, is its uaual a man at fault!! One of the reasons that CB is now paid to all families regardless of income is that when it was means tested the more affluent men were often found to be pocketing the money istead of passing it on to their childrev/ partners.
Men, fuck off without any thought to the children they have fathered, and maen then evade their responsabilities. Om not saying women never do the same but its much rarer
I except that we need some sort of social welfare system and that this has to be paid for, but I agree with a previous poster that those who claim should be given a set period and then have to contribute their time and skilsl to continuie benefiting.
As for the pensions question does anyone under 45 real think they will get a liveable stae pension?
However the one consistant thread that seems to run throughout these postings, is its uaual a man at fault!! One of the reasons that CB is now paid to all families regardless of income is that when it was means tested the more affluent men were often found to be pocketing the money istead of passing it on to their childrev/ partners.
Men, fuck off without any thought to the children they have fathered, and maen then evade their responsabilities. Om not saying women never do the same but its much rarer
I except that we need some sort of social welfare system and that this has to be paid for, but I agree with a previous poster that those who claim should be given a set period and then have to contribute their time and skilsl to continuie benefiting.
As for the pensions question does anyone under 45 real think they will get a liveable stae pension?
Sex God
maybe he just pissed off cause he is shooting blanks lol, or at least he buys his condoms in bulk ,do you not like kids ,remember you were one yaself, we wonder did ya parents cliam these benefits for you
Quote by foxylady 123
As for the pensions question does anyone under 45 real think they will get a liveable stae pension?
Perhaps. For me, retirement is a long time away (30-40 years) and that's a very long time - just think back to 40 years ago. 1964 - Harold Wilson had just become Prime Minister, computers had great big tape reels and took up entire buildings, men hadn't reached the moon and Doctor Who had only been running a year. At the moment, the trend is certainly away from state pensions, but there's plenty of time for anything to happen.
Mind you, I'm saving on the assumption that I won't get much of a state pension, and then if I do it'll be a bonus.
Dont worry about it Roger when you turn 40 your brain turns into a lump of putty and you can quite cheerfully soak up any level of tedium 
hows your enormous penis btw :shock:
oh and pension none and child allowance is a good thing especially for those not as well off. Im actually a great believer in the welfare state it just needs monitoring to make sure it isnt abused
hows your enormous penis btw :shock:
oh and pension none and child allowance is a good thing especially for those not as well off. Im actually a great believer in the welfare state it just needs monitoring to make sure it isnt abused
I'm sad to see the more spiteful,judgemental side of some on just don't know peoples stories,what they've been through,how they came to this.I hate this petty,bitter,small minded blame it on single parents the amazing things on this thread I know who's side I'm proud of yourselves because you,and your kids, you are the ones who make the World a better place.
Wow, what a debate. Its certainly not a simple one either.
The welfare state is available to all as a safety net, the fact that one may not need it is immaterial and subject to good luck, or at least the absence of bad luck.
McGuinness has stated that he works, supports himself and pays all his taxes, direct and indirect, which is laudable and does him credit.
However, to be able to achieve that I assume he's had an education, unless he was privately educated then its probably fair to assume that the state (ie taxpayers at the time) funded that education, and if he went on to higher education its not a small sum of money. Therefore, he has had the benefit of taxes that others have paid before he was in a position to make any financial contribution himself.
Single parents, whether they be female or male, deserve support, parenthood is difficult enough as it is without having to do it alone and unsupported. Marya, MQ and anyone else in the same situation, I applaud you and the efforts you make.
Its true that often men leave their partners and children, but its equally true that many don't and even if they did they take responsibility for their children. I couldn't conceive of just abandoning mine in any way, be it financial, emotional or time based.
I've been unemployed in my time and a higher rate tax payer, there are always things that could be changed, it may be an imperfect system, it may be abused by some, but overall we are very lucky to have it and live in a place with stability and relative prosperity.
I hope that doesn't sound too pompous, its not meant to be
SA
XXX
The welfare state is available to all as a safety net, the fact that one may not need it is immaterial and subject to good luck, or at least the absence of bad luck.
McGuinness has stated that he works, supports himself and pays all his taxes, direct and indirect, which is laudable and does him credit.
However, to be able to achieve that I assume he's had an education, unless he was privately educated then its probably fair to assume that the state (ie taxpayers at the time) funded that education, and if he went on to higher education its not a small sum of money. Therefore, he has had the benefit of taxes that others have paid before he was in a position to make any financial contribution himself.
Single parents, whether they be female or male, deserve support, parenthood is difficult enough as it is without having to do it alone and unsupported. Marya, MQ and anyone else in the same situation, I applaud you and the efforts you make.
Its true that often men leave their partners and children, but its equally true that many don't and even if they did they take responsibility for their children. I couldn't conceive of just abandoning mine in any way, be it financial, emotional or time based.
I've been unemployed in my time and a higher rate tax payer, there are always things that could be changed, it may be an imperfect system, it may be abused by some, but overall we are very lucky to have it and live in a place with stability and relative prosperity.
I hope that doesn't sound too pompous, its not meant to be
SA
XXX
We get (via the CSA) the grand total of £6 per day for the fulltime upkeep of 2 teenagers, their busfare to school is £5 return, school dinner is £3 each per day- does that sum up the inadequacies of the system?? ('Dad' is an alcoholic on £30k pa, by the way- but since 40% of that is 'bonuses' and 'shift allowance' ie- 9 to5, is not taken into account- he works for the council--)
Sex God
Roger743 wrote:
Apparently Roger, anyone can go to their local tax office and ask for a "pension forecast". They will then input all your data, including NI contributions, and tell you what rate your pension will be. You can then up your predicted rate by paying extra contributions, for example if there have been gaps in contributions. That's what a friend of mine told me they did, anyway.
Mike.
Mind you, I'm saving on the assumption that I won't get much of a state pension, and then if I do it'll be a bonus.
Apparently Roger, anyone can go to their local tax office and ask for a "pension forecast". They will then input all your data, including NI contributions, and tell you what rate your pension will be. You can then up your predicted rate by paying extra contributions, for example if there have been gaps in contributions. That's what a friend of mine told me they did, anyway.
Mike.
Quote by Kenluvslucy
We get (via the CSA) the grand total of £6 per day for the fulltime upkeep of 2 teenagers, their busfare to school is £5 return, school dinner is £3 each per day- does that sum up the inadequacies of the system?? ('Dad' is an alcoholic on £30k pa, by the way- but since 40% of that is 'bonuses' and 'shift allowance' ie- 9 to5, is not taken into account- he works for the council--)
I've never had a penny off my ex .... although he does have all three of his girls every other weekend on his own for two nights !!!!!!!! I'm not sure the CSA threatening him with the CSA is a punishment after considering that :twisted:
i feel gutted by some of the things i've read here; and am nodding away at some of the other posts......
at the end of the day, the children don't ask to be born... they all deserve to be loved.....something that is important (to me anyway) is the role models we see around us as kids... and the unconditional caring / love from our carers (hopefully) and the (mutual hopefully) respect from / to elders / youngsters
I think its called living alongside each other in harmony...we all need someone.....and the elders need the youngsters and vice versa.
at the end of the day, the children don't ask to be born... they all deserve to be loved.....something that is important (to me anyway) is the role models we see around us as kids... and the unconditional caring / love from our carers (hopefully) and the (mutual hopefully) respect from / to elders / youngsters
I think its called living alongside each other in harmony...we all need someone.....and the elders need the youngsters and vice versa.
I know I'll regret getting involved, but I need to say something.....
Whilst there is a lot of truth in the comments about deserting fathers, not all of us have left by choice, or disregard our responsibilites.
My ex and I split up because she was pissed off that, after 5 years on the dole, I went out under my own steam and got a job. From that point on, because I wasn't at home doing the washing, cooking, cleaning and shopping, she didn't let up for a minute. My life became a living hell, with my only escape being work.
In the end, I had no choice but to walk. Not for me, but for the sanity of my wonderful children.
She went to the CSA, and they came after me. But she forgot to tell them that I'd already set up a payment to her for far more than they expected, so she got prosecuted for deception. That's justice.
I'm now happily married to Mrs Cu3b4ll, who accepts my children as if they were her own, so they get to stay with us regularly. In fact the older one's have told me a number of times that I made the right move.
So, by all means berate they bastards out there that deserve it, but please don't tar all with the same brush.
Whilst there is a lot of truth in the comments about deserting fathers, not all of us have left by choice, or disregard our responsibilites.
My ex and I split up because she was pissed off that, after 5 years on the dole, I went out under my own steam and got a job. From that point on, because I wasn't at home doing the washing, cooking, cleaning and shopping, she didn't let up for a minute. My life became a living hell, with my only escape being work.
In the end, I had no choice but to walk. Not for me, but for the sanity of my wonderful children.
She went to the CSA, and they came after me. But she forgot to tell them that I'd already set up a payment to her for far more than they expected, so she got prosecuted for deception. That's justice.
I'm now happily married to Mrs Cu3b4ll, who accepts my children as if they were her own, so they get to stay with us regularly. In fact the older one's have told me a number of times that I made the right move.
So, by all means berate they bastards out there that deserve it, but please don't tar all with the same brush.
one parent should get a decent living wage paid to them for remaining in the home and bringing up the children, being there for them when they come home, providing a hot meal and a "how was your day", being able to go into school if there is a worry or an issue....it might promote some self worth and esteem into the children. single and working parents have such little time today due to demands of work...but this time and involvement needs to be invested back into our childrens lives. a parent should know who teaches their child, who the childs friends are etc....there isn't the contact / communication that there used to be....the kids need to see the parent figures being responsible and being consistent, happy and involved in the children's lives. taking on a partner with kids is a major issue....don't do it lightly, think of the children....not all adults who are in long term relationships choose to use contraception....when they do, some fails, and sometimes the couple want to have children, as at that time in their lives, its wanted.......things go wrong after the event unfortunately....as they do in relationships which have no kids....which might be one of the contributory factors for some relationships.....i, for one, would love to be able to support my children properly, but am out of the house before them and i return an hour and a half before the youngest one goes to bed.....they are bringing themselves up to some degree.....and it hurts me every day, it'll keep on hurting me....why am i in this situation....partly because i have a responsible job to hold down, to ensure i can maintain the roof over our heads and partly due to mental health issues of ex, those, in part, due to alcohol dependancy. What do my kids deserve, a blooming pat on the back, love, warmth and a mom who supports and welcomes them.
Quote by Libra-Love
Are they just as please with their new alcoholic step-dad
Being truthful its probably one of the less appealing aspects of me to them.
But bollocks to their opinion i'm not going out with them
Personally i would like to think the positives i bring to their lives far outweigh the negatives
